Finding Forgiveness

I sat huddled to Leo in the back seat as Max drove. Luca had sent us a half readable text possibly about how he is in Hermosillo but who knows? We were just glad he was alive and kind of functioning.

"You still look a little pale, Els," Leo said brushing a strand of dishevelled hair behind my ear.

"I'm still shaking too," I replied lifting my hand.

"Because of Andrea did or because you thought the gunshot could have been his?"

"Both," I answered quietly.

"After we made the agreement he didn't... touch you, did he?" Leo asked in a strained tone.

"He kissed me once and shot a bullet next to my head.”

"Fucking twat," he grumbled. "Not that I kept my side of the deal either but what a fucking twat! What sort of man treats a woman like that?" "There was a lot wrong with him. He killed his friends without a hint of emotion too. No grief, no guilt, no regret. He had no emotions,” I answered. "He reminded me a lot of Luciano."

"Now that is someone I don't miss,” Max said from the front. "He was deranged from day one.”

I let out a short laugh.

"Do we not remember Max seven years ago?" Leo teased.

"Yes, yes. We don't need to drag up the past,” Max protested. "I'm sorry and all that."

"You kidnapped my mate and gave her to my enemy who wanted her dead," Leo replied. "Not sure I can forgive you for another couple of years at least. We've only just reached the stage that I am willing to leave you with my children.”

Max let out a disgruntled sigh as I giggled.

"Excuse you, Alpha, but I helped you save that same mate today and last week AND I prevented her death multiple times in both Italy and Russia!" he argued.

"Ahh, but would she have been in Italy and Russia if you hadn't lured her away from my lovely, perfectly safe pack?" Leo asked.

"You ought to be thanking me. If it weren't for us going to great lengths to get that amulet, Milly may have torn your pack apart by now."

"Thanks for almost causing the death of my mate.”

"Fuck you, Alpha,” Max snapped. "You would have killed me if I didn't escape your dingy little prison during the war.”

"Boys, this was years ago now," I interjected. "You don't have to forgive each other but how about we just put the past behind us?"

"Fine," Max stated.

"Leo?"

"Fine," he grumbled.

He then opened his mouth to speak again but I brought my finger to his mouth.

"Hey!" I said nudging him. "As I say to our sons, you don't need to have the last word."

He rolled his eyes and paused for a moment.

"Fuck you too," he blurted after a few seconds.

"Max, be the bigger man,” I said as Leo's phone began to ring. "Hello," he said. "Luca?"

"Yeh, it's me. Basically, do you still need those guns? Because I got ambushed by Guillermo, someone fucking shot me and my car has broken down so I might be a while," he replied.

"Firstly, no because I've already got Ella. Secondly, thanks for nothing and finally, you probably deserved to get shot,” Leo said.

"Yeh, guess I probably did. Any chance of a lift? Guillermo took my wallet."

"Fucking hell,” Leo grumbled. "Where are you?"

"Just outside of Hermosillo,"

"How the fuck did you end up there. And where did you get shot?" "Just outside tacobell-"

"I meant where on your body dipshit," Leo said rolling his eyes.

"Oh, the shoulder.”

"Am I going to have to take you to the hospital?"

"Maybe. It happened two hours ago, it isn't healing and it hurts like shit. Knowing Guillermo, it was probably a bullet laced with wolfsbane," he explained.

"For fuck's sake, Luca," Leo grumbled.

"Sorry, Alpha," he replied

"Stay where you are. We'll come and get you."

Leo then hung up.

"Don't blame him for all this,” I said nuzzling my head into his chest a "I don't. I blame myself almost entirely and I understand that he was trying to be a good friend to you but you can always rely on Luca to find trouble and fuck something up,” Leo replied.

I pushed my fingers between his and squeezed his hand before resting my head on his shoulder.

I desperately wanted to find it in me to forgive him for what he didn't to Connor because more than anything I just wanted to go back to what it was like before. To move on and go back to normal.

But I couldn't. The wound was still too fresh and I couldn't just bottle up the pain and pretend like it never happened.

"I don't want to forget what happened with Connor but when we get home, we have to try to make as life as normal as possible. For the kids mostly but also for the pack,” I said.

He nodded but didn't speak.

"I love you, Leo," I said putting my hand up to his face and forcing him to look at me. "And I understand why you did what you did. He was a threat to you, our family and our pack and that threat was only ever going to die with him. But I can't forgive you yet."

"I don't want you to," He said. "This is the worst thing and I have ever done by far and if you were to forgive me, it would be letting me off too easily. I deserve to live with the guilt.”

"We'll get there one day," I promised.