Finding Fae

The cold was still cold, but it wasn’t so bad anymore and I actually felt a little better about all of this. That is, until I noticed a big cloud of I-don’t-even-know-what behind me. It looked like a dust storm, which were pretty common in deserts, but instead of it being the reddish color of the sand around me, it was dark blueish-gray and I could see the lightning coming from within. It was not giving off good vibes at all.

“If you get caught in that, you’ll die,” a little girl said.

She looked to be about eight or nine with pig-tails curled to perfection with light pink ribbons tied in a neat bow. Her dress was a matching pink and white checkered, like you would see on Dorothy as she wandered about Oz. She was adorable, too, with straw colored hair and blue eyes and a face full of innocent wonder you could only find in a child.

“How fast is it moving?” I asked her as I turned back to the cloud.

“Hard to say,” she shrugged. “It’ll change from time to time. But you’d better not waste time. Once it consumes you, you’ll never come out.”

She shimmered away and I turned forward and started walking again, this time a little faster. I was careful to keep my heart rate even and my breathing measured, remembering that my actual body was frail back in the real world. At least I knew Mal was there with me and I wasn’t going through this while Rex was still torturing me. I really would die, then.

I came to a large cholla cactus and paused to admire it’s sheer size. I knew they could get rather large, but this thing was massive. It nearly was the same size of some of the younger redwoods I had seen, it was so big.

“What do you regret?” an old man asked, sitting at the base of the cholla, drinking a cup of tea like there wasn’t a death cloud coming this way.

“I regret many things,” I answered.

“What do you regret the most?” he ammended.

“How does someone choose only one regret above the others?” I asked. “There is no real answer to that question.”

“Right at this moment, what do you regret the most?” he asked again.

I blinked as I thought about it. What was the one thing above all else, right now, that I regretted? Being captured and tortured to the point that my survival was now less sure than it ever was before, having dragged so many others into this mess that Gary and Ricca had started when they took me, not knowing what I was or where I came from, the list went on for ages. But right now? The was different.

“I regret that Mal had to kill Rex to save me,” I answered slowly. “He had to kill his cousin, his family, for me.”

“Do you want to change it?” he asked again and I shook my head. “Why not?”

“I have many regrets, things I wish didn’t happen, but they did. For whatever reason, they happened and now it’s my job to deal with whatever comes next,” I said. “Rex was a twisted person. I’m grateful that Mal did what he did. He saved my life and the lives of however many others Rex would have hurt if he had been left alive.”

“But it hurts you. Saddens you. The things that have happened,” he said, sipping on his tea again. “Why would you not want that to go away? No one wants to hurt or feel sad.”

“No, they don’t,” I agreed. “But that’s the price we pay for living. Life is a challenge, just like this is. If there was no suffering, we wouldn’t know the value of happiness.”

“Can you be happy, though, carrying around so much regret?” he asked.

“I can only try,” I said.

He smiled widely and shimmered away with the great cholla and I was no longer standing in the middle of the Arizona desert. Now, I was in a forest. The trees were wide and tall and everything was green. The ground felt almost like a sponge, it was so soft. I had to be in the North West somewhere.

Still, the Cloud of Yuck was there and I started walking again. The thing about walking was that it was a simple action that left you plenty of brainpower to think about things. Things that you really didn’t want to think about. Like what was going on back in the real world? How long has it been since this started. To me it felt like hours, but it could be seconds or days for all I knew.

I wondered how the guys were holding up. Nervous, of course. Probably a bit worried, since I knew I wasn’t in the best shape right now. Ben would be mindlessly fidgeting with a wisp. Blaine would be brooding in that special way that made it look like he was just deep in thought. Zane would be pacing and growling occasionally, too annoyed that he couldn’t do anything to make the situation better to sit down. Nando would be the only one that would be relatively normal, reading a book or making some type of potion or tea. He might even be hovering over me as he tried to heal my broken body.

Mal would be close to me, I think. He would be holding my hand or sitting as close as he could get. I remembered the nights where I was too restless to sleep or when I had a bad dream about my Awakening or any number of things. Mal would be there before I even woke up, then he’d climb into the bed next to me and talk me through what the problem was, or tell me about the fae he’s met or about the many trips he’s taken to the Sidhe. I would never last long before I was asleep again.

They all worried about me, in their own ways. I worried about them just as much. I hated that I had brought them into this disaster that my life had turned into, but I was so very glad they were there for me. I don’t know how I would have managed if they weren’t.

My thoughts passed the time quickly and I came to a huge cliff with a waterfall tumbling down to continue it’s voyage to the ocean. The sun had gone down some, leaving a deep early twilight in the forest. I could hear the water below, but I couldn’t really make it out through the darkness and the fine mist from the water.

“Jump or climb?” a boy asked.

He looked about my age, maybe a little younger, but he was wearing odd clothes. They looked crisp and clean and new, but they were an old fashion, and in a style I know has never been trending on Earth. He also had some pretty awesome wings, meaning he was a noble fairy, like Mal.

“What do you mean?” I asked him.

“You must continue. Do you jump down or climb?” he asked. “Both will get you where you need to go, but one is faster.”

“And more dangerous,” I pointed out. “I can’t see down there. I don’t know if there’s rocks under the water. If I jump, I’ll end up killing myself if there are. Not only that, but I can’t swim.”

“But do you have enough time to climb?” he said looking at the Cloud of Yuck. “The way is slick and if you fall, you’ll die.”

“I don’t have enough time to climb,” I frowned at the advancing cloud. “What if I chose neither option?”

“But you must continue,” he frowned.

“I have every intention of continuing,” I said. “I chose flying.”

“You don’t have wings,” he pointed out.

“You do,” I smiled and he looked shocked. “I have to continue, right? That’s how I choose to do it.”

“That’s... You can’t-.”

“Who’s Awakening is this?” I asked. “Not yours, I’d guess. Seeing as I’m the only other person in this conversation, I would say it’s mine. My Trials, my Awakening, my choice.”

He looked conflicted, then exasperated. He huffed as he grabbed my forearms and lifted me, flying down the cliff before dropping me in the water a few feet above the surface. Now wasn’t a good time to not know how to swim. Jerk.

Mal

I could feel her hand squeezing mine as she struggled to breathe. The healers were panicking, not knowing what was going on with her. Quinn was looking up from where he sat by his wife to watch what was happening.

“It’s not something anyone can fix,” he said after a moment. “She’s in her Trials. Whatever is happening, she has to figure out on her own or her Bonded needs to help.”

“I can’t reach her,” I said frantically as her back arched off the bed and she started flailing around.

“You don’t have to, fool. You’re connected always. Use the bond to get through, not your mind,” he said, as he placed Mary’s hand back on the bed at her side. “You need to do it soon before she suffocates.”

I looked back at Fae and held her hand in both of mine, squeezing it back as she gaped like a fish, trying to get air into her lungs. I closed my eyes and reached for her, like Quinn said, through the bond.

“Mal! Help me! I can’t swim!” she cried.

I don’t know how I knew to do it, but I gave her my air, breathing for both of us. I couldn’t see anything but darkness, but I knew she was still struggling to break the surface, but she wasn’t struggling to breathe, as I was doing it for her.

“Look up and kick,” I said between breaths. “I’m right here, just kick.”

It took several minutes, but I felt the rush of air into her lungs and knew that she had made it to the surface and was now on her way out of the water. I could feel the wet dirt under her hands as she crawled out of the water.

“Come back to me, Fae. I’ll be right here, waiting,” I said and the connection snapped like a rubber band that had been pulled too far and I saw darkness.

Quinn

That boy. I shook my head. He’s a mess. I don’t blame him, though. Not being with his Bonded for so long, barely able to connect with her, only to be flooded with her pain as she was tortured, finding her in the state he did, only to have her fall into her Awakening sleep. It would have made me just as crazed as he looked right now.

I looked down at Mary. The name she used most. Mary Justine. My world and reason for living. My Queen.

She was the light in my dark life when I met her. No, I didn’t blame that boy one bit. The Bond was an amazing thing. It brought two people together who, otherwise, wouldn’t have had the chance to know how truly amazing it was to have each other.

Mary was so young when it happened. Barely sixteen. I was three years older and living a life that would have seen me dead in a ditch long before it was my time. I was ashamed of my past now, but at the time, I couldn’t think of anything better. Then I heard her Call.

She was being attacked by slavers, though they weren’t only interested in selling her to the highest bidder. Her clothes were torn and her skirt had been pushed up to her thighs. I killed the lot of them before I even knew I had moved. From then on, I never left her side.

We both knew. We were Soul Bonded and that meant my life, my world, had shifted. It was all for the better, too. Mary was, and will always be, the center of my universe. There were difficult times, of course. There was a civil war going on back then. It shaped my delicate, naive Mary into the strongest, fiercest, bravest person I have ever met in my life.

When things settled and Mary took her place on her father’s throne, with me by her side, I married her. Some would say it was rushed, and it was. Her advisers kept pushing for a legitimate king beside her and not a mere partner, as they said. Even knowing we were Bonded didn’t stop them from suggesting she accept a political marriage to some noble or another. So, Mary, being stubborn and strong willed as ever, proposed to me.

The memory of that day still made me smile, even after all of this time.

I had no doubt that, if Fae came through, that boy would never give her a moment of peace for the rest of their long lives together. The Bond created a connection, but it wasn’t love. Love came after getting to know one another, learning each other. Love made the Bond stronger. And I could see he loved her very much.

I looked back at Mary and took a shaking breath. I had almost lost her today. I felt the blade in her chest and could feel both of our lives slipping away. There was no way that she could hold on with that kind of injury and, being Bonded, I was going with her. But then, something amazing happened. One of Fae’s spirit Bonds showed up and before I could muster enough to stop him, he did something I have never seen before and just like that, Mary was save. Still wounded and still in bad shape, but no longer dying. Instead, he took her fate upon himself and now he was laying in a bed, covered by a sheet, waiting to be returned to his family.

“Why so blue, my love?” I heard Mary’s soft voice and smiled.

“There is much to be sad about today,” I said and she nodded, knowing what I meant.

So much life lost, blood spilled, and pain.

“It has a good ending, though,” she smiled weakly and looked over at Malachi’s back, which was all she could see of the couple.

“Not yet,” I sighed.

“She’s not awake yet?” Mary said, pushing herself onto an elbow. “It’s been six hours.”

“I know,” I said, putting more pillows behind her. She really should be laying down, but I knew she wouldn’t have any of it. “It seems like her Trials will last a long while. I just hope she is strong enough to last that long. She is in... very bad shape. Even with the best healers we have, she’s not doing well. It’s like she’s resistant to them.”

“How is the fool holding up?” she asked as she relaxed into the pillows.

“Poorly,” I chuckled. “But he’s holding on as best he can.”

“Good,” she smiled. “She’ll need him if she is going to stand a chance.”

“He won’t leave her and I don’t think he’s let her go more than twice since he brought her here,” I shook my head.

“Reminds me of someone,” she said, looking at our hands resting on her lap, making me chuckle again as I brought her knuckles to my lips.

I hoped that Fae would make it. Malachi deserved to have all of the happiness and joy a proper Bond brought to a man. They both deserved it after everything. And, for the first time in a very long time, I found myself praying for young love to prosper.