SWNOVELS Filthy Crown: Chapter 8
Fuck. I almost lost it. I almost caved in and kissed her.
She wanted it. I could see it in her eyes. In the way her chest heaved in anticipation.
Gah! I dig my fingers into my scalp and tug at the strands of hair, not stopping until I feel the sting.
What the hell is wrong with me? Even if she wanted it, it wouldn’t make it right. I know she’s underage. I know she’s my niece. But it’s as if I can’t help it. My body is drawn to hers like a magnet.
My hand drops, hovering over the phone in my pocket, my mind warring whether or not to have Matt step in instead of me.
I can’t. As soon as I close my eyes, I see Amanda’s little face, grief stricken and terrified from her nightmares. It’s not just her that needs me, it’s Alex, too. The boy needs his father, but if he can’t have Austin, I’ll do my damn best to step in and fill that void.
There’s no doubt that Mexico rocked every one of those kids. Even Pen. She might try to act all put together, but every now and then, I see the frightened little girl.
I’ve been pacing back and forth in my study while Pen’s been in with Dr. Leventhal and it’s taken everything in me not to eavesdrop through surveillance.
I need to know if they touched her. So help me god, I’ll rip apart heaven and hell if they did. I’m about to pull my goddamn hair out when there’s a soft knock at the door.
“Come in.” My voice comes out hoarse, strange to my own ears.
It pushes open and Pen’s long legs are the first thing I see, followed by the rest of her. I could stare at her all day, but the frowning doctor behind her has me pulling my gaze away. “Dr. Leventhal, is everything okay?”
“Yes. As we discussed earlier, I think it’d be a good idea if I took you up on your offer. I’d like to visit with the kids and Pen every day for at least a week and then move on to weekly visits.”
“Of course. I’ll have one of the ranch hands take you to your cabin. We’ve secured one with two bedrooms and a study, but please let me know if you’ll need more room.”
“That should be more than sufficient.” He glances over at Pen, and I can tell he wants to speak privately.
“Pen, would you mind checking in with Mary and asking her to call Sam? Tell her our guests are ready.”
She quickly glances at the doctor and then back at me, no doubt realizing what’s been said without words. Pen is smart and I wouldn’t put it past her to read body language or social cues. Despite her weariness, she gives us a small nod before spinning on her heels and leaving.
It’s not until the door has shut that I realize she didn’t speak a word the entire time she was in here. “Dr. Leventhal, Pen seems shaken by her session. Is there anything I should be made aware of? Any trauma she’ll need extra help with?”
In all honesty, I’m concerned about one type of trauma in particular, but I’m not about to ask it outright.
The doctor grimaces. “Jack, the type of situation they were in… it isn’t typical. Even for me, and I deal with extraordinary circumstances. Now, there are things I can’t tell you. Things that are said in confidence through our doctor patient relationship.” He pauses a little too long for my comfort. I’m about to reach over and strangle the words out of him when he finally opens his mouth to speak. “But I will share this, the fact that she survived her mother’s execution and was found clinging to her siblings is something that she’ll carry with her for the rest of her life. It’s a bond with those two kids that can either help heal her, or be her downfall.”
I stagger back, sitting on the edge of my desk. “What are you saying? That she’s using the kids like a crutch?”
He brings his fingers to his lips, rubbing at them before responding. “It’s too soon to say, but I definitely see the signs of it happening. This is one of the reasons why I’d like daily visits with her and the kids. I’d also like to see how she is with them. That should help me make a better assessment.”
“Okay, that won’t be a problem. You can come to dinner tomorrow night once you and your associate have settled in.”
He nods, his lips pressed into a firm line. “The children adore her. That much is clear. It seems she’s taken on a protective role with them and shielded them from most of what transpired, but even so, they’ll have to work through their recovery on their own. With emotional support, of course, but on their own.”
I nod, even though I’m not sure I entirely agree with what he’s saying. I’ll have to talk to the other doctor and see what she thinks. They’re kids, for Christ’s sake. It’s not like Pen is coddling them by giving them love and comfort.
I’ve seen the way she is with them. She has nothing but their best interest at heart. I’m about to tell him as much when there’s a knock at the door. “Come in,” I call out, hoping it’s the ranch hand.
Sure enough, Sam steps through the door with his pearl snap shirt and Stetson. “Sir. You called?”
“Yes, Sam. Dr. Leventhal and Dr. Bower are ready. Please take them to their cabin. I believe their luggage is out by their car.” I look over to Leventhal, who’s nodding in agreement. “Alright then, Sam here will show you how to work our phone systems. If you need anything at all, call Mary. She’ll get you set up.”
“Thank you. We appreciate the hospitality.” He smiles before turning to walk behind Sam, leaving me to my own thoughts.
I have no clue how this is all going to play out. All I know is that I need a second opinion if he thinks he’s keeping Pen away from those kids. She’s the closest thing they have to a momma bear, and she’s apparently chosen to play the part well.
He said she needs the space to heal, but in my opinion, I think tearing them away will be the last straw that breaks her.
Penelope
That doctor has lost his damn mind. There’s no way I’m using the kids as a crutch.
Yes, I knew listening in on his conversation doesn’t help prove my maturity to Jack, but I had to know what the looney doctor was going to say. I could feel his gaze on me the entire time we talked. Judging. Assessing.
I hated it.
Yes, I have trauma. What person wouldn’t after what we went through. But to go so far as to say I’m using the kids so I don’t cope? That’s just plain wrong.
I made a promise to our mother. A promise I intend to keep.
“Miss Penelope, can I get you something to drink?” Mary’s voice calls me into the kitchen. She’d been minding the kids during my time with Leventhal.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to pace out in the hall. I just didn’t want to bring all of my baggage in here.”
“What’s baggage?” Amanda’s small voice melts away the tension in my body, letting me smile again.
Of course, Alex doesn’t miss the opportunity to sass. “It’s all of her crazy.”
“I swear.” I shake my head as I walk toward Mary, holding out a glass of her famous lemonade. “Some days I wonder how you’re only nine.”
“Dad always said I was an old soul.” He sniffs, looking at the wall, unable to meet my gaze.
Despite how much of a front he puts on, I know he’s affected by our tragedy. Blowing out a breath, I walk over to him and squeeze his shoulder with my free hand. “What’d you think of Dr. Leventhal? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I’d like to know.”
“He smells spicy,” Amanda adds without prompting, the accurate observation making me chuckle.
“Who smells spicy?” A deep voice cuts into the room, sending a shiver through me. Jack walks in wearing an unbuttoned flannel over a tight-as-sin t-shirt and I have to look away.
Focus. You will not fall for this man’s charm and good looks.
Placing my lemonade on the table, I crouch down next to Alex. “We were talking about Leventhal.” I answer without looking back, instead I focus my eyes on Alex, who’s been staring at the wall. Lowering my voice to a whisper, I try to be reassuring. “Hey, buddy. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Whatever it is, it’s normal because it’s you. And you don’t have to talk about it until you’re ready, okay?”
My words seem to pull him from his thoughts and he finally turns his head, giving me a soft smile and a nod.
Okay, good. At least he’s not being swallowed by that darkness in his eyes anymore. I get up from my crouch and turn around, only to come face to face with a towering Jack who’s just glaring at me. Okay.
He calls to Mary without diverting his eyes from mine. “Mary, would you mind packing up a lunch for the children and me? I’d like to take them on a tour of the property and finish with a picnic by the creek.”
Jack and I are still in a staring match as the kids squeal and Mary confirms his request. Finally, unable to take the intensity of his stare, I break away and walk toward the counter. I have nothing to do, so I’m just standing there, with my back to his overpowering figure.
I’m about to leave the room when I feel his warmth behind me.
Jack’s chest presses against my back as his lips come down, brushing against my ear. “You’re going to tell me why you’re smelling Dr. Leventhal, Princess. And if it’s the wrong answer, he’ll be on the first flight out of here.”
Goosebumps rise across my flesh. His tone is demanding and laced with an emotion resembling jealousy.
Could this be my answer? The meddling doctor who views my care of the kids like a coping mechanism could be gone in a flash if I play it right with Jack.
I move to glance back at the kids, but the action causes Jack’s lips to press against the tender underside of my ear. Sucking in a sharp breath, I try to act unaffected by his touch, but I know it’s too late. I feel it in the curve of his lips tilting up in a smile. Damn him. Damn him for knowing he wields some sort of power, and damn him for using it against me.
Closing my eyes, I regain my focus. The kids. Despite my wanting the doc gone, he’s supposed to be the best and there’s no doubt they need all the help they can get.
Taking a step to the side, I break out of Jack’s embrace, giving us enough space so I can turn around to face him and speak in a hushed voice. “Amanda was the one to make the observation. I was only agreeing, seeing as his cologne isn’t something you could ignore.” It’s true. The man might be charming, but his signature scent is a little overpowering. At least for my taste.
Jack clenches his jaw, the action making his cheek twitch. He stares at me as if assessing the veracity of my words. Ironic because they are the truth, and if I was being selfish, I would’ve straight up lied to get the doc out of here.
“Okay.” With a curt nod, he looks to the kids and then back at me. “Mary, we’ll be leaving in thirty.”
And without so much as a glance back, this hulk of a man walks right out of the kitchen and off to god knows where. I’m still staring at the kitchen entryway when Mary comes up next to me, placing her hand on my forearm. “Give him time, sweetheart. He’s not used to having family stay with him.”
Family. That’s what he is. No matter how much I say he’s not, he is.
I give myself a mental shake. Whatever the hell my body was feeling right now needs to go straight to hell. If it doesn’t, that’s exactly where I’ll be going because on no planet is what I was thinking okay.