SWNOVELS Filthy Crown: Chapter 22
Damp hair sticks to the back of my neck as I walk into Jack’s study. After Georgina’s production, I ended up heading back to my own shower. Hunter tried to soothe the sting of Jack’s words by suggesting the sauna again, but at that point, it was just too awkward.
The guys ended up filing out and I walked back to my room, like a walk of shame with none of the fun that comes beforehand.
“Shhh.” Jack shushes me as I come closer to Amanda and Alex, little bundles cuddled into each other. Both with hot chocolate mustaches.
“They look so sweet like this. I wish I had my phone so I could take a picture.” Jack gets up, leaving his cozy chair by the fire to bring me his phone.
“Here. I’d like to get it printed and framed, that way we can both have it.” His fingers touch mine and a zap of energy courses through the connection. Instantly, our eyes meet and so much emotion passes through them I’m left speechless.
Seconds pass before Jack clears his throat. “Once you’re done with that, I’ll take them up to their rooms.”
I’m pulling up the camera app when I hear Matt’s voice behind me, startling me to the point where I almost drop the phone.
“Jace and I can take them up,” Matt grumbles. Turning around, I see that they were sitting by the door. How did I miss them?
This entire day has been a blur. I’m so out of sorts between what happened in the truck, the possibility of danger still lurking, and the whole Georgina debacle.
Pulling up the camera app again, I snap a couple of pictures, smiling at my favorite ones. Pointing at the last one I took, I turn to Jack, “Please print this one for me. They look so sweet cuddled up like this.”
Jack pulls the phone with Jace and Matt flanking either side of him. “Wow. Alex looks so much like his dad here.”
“They both do. But mom…”
Jack reaches out a hand, the back of his fingers running along my jawline. “You look like her. She lives on through you.”
A tear falls, and Jack swiftly wipes it away with the pad of his thumb. “I’m so sorry, Princess.”
“We all are,” Matt speaks up, before scooping up Alex.
Jace nods, picking up Amanda and following behind his brother. “See you in the morning, peanut.”
“Yes, maybe we can go for a ride. The kids would love that.” I smile, remembering how much Amanda and Alex loved the horses.
“Only if it’s close to the house.” Jack raises a brow and both brothers nod in agreement before stepping out of the study.
I’m standing there, looking after them, when Jack’s deep voice rumbles behind me. “Hot chocolate.”
Turning around, I see him holding a mug, the warm glow of the fire illuminating his broad frame.
Taking it from his hands, I marvel at how there’s still steam coming from the top. “Oh, wow. It’s still warm.”
“It’s the mugs. They’re insulated. We didn’t know how long you’d be, so I had Mary use the ones we use around campfires.” He looks from me to the couch, worry darkening his features. “Please sit. We need to talk.”
Oh, god. That’s never good. Wanting to get this over with, I do as he says and sit to the edge of the leather chesterfield sofa.
Instead of returning to his chair, Jack takes the seat beside me, our legs almost touching. “First, we need to figure out child care.”
“What do you mean?” My brows push together, unsure of what he’s getting at. “I’ll watch over Amanda and Alex. It’s my job and the only solace I could give mom before they took her from us. I promised her I would always look out for her babies and I don’t have any plans on backing out of that.”
A look of understanding flashes through his eyes. “Is that why you don’t want to go to college? Because Pen, trust me when I say this, your mom would want what’s best for you. She wouldn’t want you to sacrifice yourself when there are other viable options for the kids.”
He takes my free hand in his, interlocking our fingers and stealing my words. “Pen, I’m here. I’ll watch over them as if they were my own. You don’t have to worry about them.”
“But I promised…” My words die in my throat. Truth is, even if I hadn’t, there’s no way I could leave those two behind. They’re my little nuggets. I’ve been with them since the day they were born. They need me, just like I need them.
“Look, I was thinking. Mary has a granddaughter that comes to visit for the summers. She’s been coming for the last couple of years and is scheduled to be here in two weeks. I’m thinking of offering her the live-in nanny position. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and her stay here could give you enough time to get to know her. You’d be able to tell me if you felt good enough about her watching the kids while you go to college.”
Removing my hands from his, I grip them tightly around the mug. “I already told you. I’m not going to college. And it’s all good and well that Mary’s granddaughter is visiting, she’s probably lovely. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not leaving those kids.”
Jack takes my mug and places it on the console table behind the couch before fully facing me, his hands reaching out and grabbing mine. “Penelope, I can’t stand by and let you sacrifice your future. You are brilliant. You’ve been awarded a full ride at an Ivy League school, for fuck’s sake. That’s no small feat. You can’t throw that away because of some false sense of duty.”
“False sense?!” I gasp, trying to pull my hands free, but Jack only holds them tighter, pulling me closer so that I’m practically on his lap. Anger mixes with lust and my entire body is set ablaze. “There is nothing fake about what I’m feeling.”
Jacks’ nostrils flare, his jaw clenching as he pulls me closer. “Are we still talking about the kids? Or is this about us?”
My chest is now on his, rising and falling with our agitated breaths. “The kids,” I hiss, remembering his words from earlier. “There is no us.”
Jack growls, his hands traveling up my arms until his grip is tightening around my biceps.
“Say that again and mean it, Princess.” His eyes are boring into mine, searching for the truth.
“It doesn’t matter if I mean it or not. You clearly don’t see me as anything more than a kid.”
Jack scoffs, his head falling back as he laughs, exposing the corded muscles of his neck and making me want to trail my tongue up the pulsing vein. With little thought, that’s just what I do, the salty masculine taste of him exploding on my tongue upon contact.
“Princess.” Jack groans, grabbing me by the hips and dragging me onto his lap.
I’m fully straddling him, one leg on either side of his hips, my heat pressing directly over his hard length. “Jack. Tell me. Tell me you don’t see me. That I’m nothing but your sick little niece, craving her uncle’s heart, body, and soul.”
My words are garbled, thick with emotion. I need him to kill this thing inside of me. With each passing second, this need consumes me, growing inch by inch and taking over my soul, leaving nothing but this desire to love and be loved.
Jack’s hand move to cup my face, his eyes glistening as they bounce back and forth between mine. “I can’t, Princess. I just can’t.” He brings my face closer to his, our lips hovering over one another. “It’d be a lie. One I only voiced to protect you.”
A ragged sob is pulled from my lips, the motion making them brush salty wet tears across Jack’s mouth.
His warm tongue swipes at the swollen flesh before replacing it with soft pecks and pulling away. “Pen, I love you. But part of loving you means wanting what’s best for you, and that’s not always going to be what I want.”
I suck in a sharp breath at his words. He loves me.
But just as quickly as he gave me wings, he clipped them back down. “I think you should go to college. Live your life like a normal girl your age would.”
I blink, not understanding how he could build me up one moment and then shatter me in the next. “Jack, there is nothing normal about me. I’m the farthest thing from it. Can’t you see that college isn’t for me? Can’t you see that what I want is right here, with the kids, with you?”
I press my core to him, grinding my swollen nub along his rigid cock, the action ripping a groan from us both.
“Pen,” Jack moans out a warning we both know he doesn’t mean.
I’m about to roll my hips again when the clattering of metal has me whipping my head around.
Standing at the entrance of Jack’s study is Mary, a surprised look washing over her usually happy features. “I’m… Excuse, me sir. I came to collect the mugs. I didn’t know anyone was still in here.”
Jack’s face is red, his hands gripping tightly onto my hips, but making no move to remove me from his lap. “Thank you, Mary. That won’t be necessary. Pen and I will clean up.”
The older woman gives us a nod, her gaze never leaving the ground. “Very well. I’ll see you both in the morning then.”
Without another word, she hightails it out of the office and vanishes into the hall.
Jack loosens his grip on my hips, a shallow breath escaping his parted lips. “That could’ve been worse.”
I smile. “Oh yeah? How’s that?”
“Given a few more minutes, she would’ve caught me shoving my hard cock inside that warm little cunt of yours.”
I release a gasp which quickly turns into a squeak as Jack lifts me by the hips and deposits me in front of him, both of us now standing.
With narrowed eyes and a flush face, he begins to pick up the mugs left behind by the kids. “I think she saved us both. Hell, that was probably Austin watching over us, sending her to cock block me from doing something stupid.”
He mumbles more to himself, but his words hit me straight in the chest, making me stumble as I pick up my glass.
“Fuck. That’s not what or how I meant it, Pen.” He takes a step toward me, but then stops. “You and I both know that this isn’t right. Despite how good and right it might feel. You’re too young. You have so much life to live, and I’m not going to be the selfish prick who stops you from living it. You’ll resent me later.”
“For someone who’s lived a lot longer than I have, you sure are blind. But that’s fine. I won’t force myself on you anymore.” My heart feels heavy in my chest, the words I’m speaking cracking it wide open. “You said that you loved me, but this isn’t love. This is fear, and I don’t fuck with cowards.”
Not able to hear another word, I storm out of the study and toward the kitchen. This day has been too much. I can’t take another second. All I want to do is go up to my room and bury myself under the covers, letting sleep and darkness wash over me.
To hell with today. Tomorrow will be better.