SWNOVELS Fear The Reapers: Chapter 19
After we got back to the house, I pushed all thoughts of the stupid fight with Melanie into the back of my mind. I didn’t want to think about the ramifications of my actions or the clear warning in Atlas’ tone. It was too late to do anything about it, anyway.
I got into my bedroom, kicked off my heels, changed into my oversized cream sweatshirt, and crawled underneath my sheets. Everything was happening so fast and I needed time to process. I had just closed my eyes when commotion exploded outside of my bedroom door. I ran for my door and opened it just a crack so I could see what was going on.
It was Cyrus and Tristan. They were walking up the stairs with Tristan leading and Cyrus chasing after him.
“At least let me look at it.” Cyrus said, trying to grab for Tristan’s bloody and raw hand.
“For the last time,” Tristan spat, yanking his hand away, “I d… don’t need anyone’s fucking p… pity.”
Their voices were so similar that if I wasn’t watching them, it would’ve been nearly impossible to tell them apart. Besides the speech impediment, there was one distinguishing factor I picked up on while they spoke. While Cyrus’ voice was velvety smooth, Tristan’s voice had a slightly gravelly quality to it, probably from years of being silent.
“You made that fucking clear with the dude you almost killed back there.” Cyrus hissed, cutting his eyes at his twin.
I held my breath. Tristan had almost killed someone?
“Asshole had it coming.” Tristan growled, baring his teeth. “He should’ve minded his own fucking b… business.”
“He was drunk.” Cyrus deadpanned, pressing his lips firmly together. “Any other night, you would’ve ignored him. What the fuck happened to you?”
Tristan met Cyrus’ question with silence, and even though he didn’t say a word, I knew what the answer was.
I happened. I opened my stupid fucking mouth and picked a fight with someone I shouldn’t have. I forced Tristan to step in and I was the reason he was taking out his aggression on some poor drunk asshole. It was all my fault.
“Leave me the f… fuck alone.” Tristan snarled, stepping away from Cyrus and towards his bedroom.
“Fine,” Cyrus sighed with a sad smile, “I’ll drop it. But eventually you’re going to have to talk. Otherwise, whatever’s going on with you will end up eating you alive.”
Seeing Cyrus turn to leave, I quietly shut my door before either of them saw me. Leaning my head back against the door, I let out an exacerbated breath as the guilt gnawed away at my gut.
What the fuck was wrong with me? I shouldn’t be feeling guilty over any of this. They were bad people who did bad things. What they did on their own time was none of my business. Right?
A loud bang on my door made me nearly jump out of my skin.
“Next time you want to s… spy on someone, Pet,” Tristan’s gravelly voice snarled behind my closed door, “try to be more coy about it.”
◆◆◆
No matter how hard I tried, my body couldn’t fall asleep. I knew what was really bothering me, even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself. Throwing off my covers, I shuffled out of bed and headed to the door of the man who had been haunting me all night.
“Tristan?” I murmured, gently knocking as I pressed my ear to his door.
He didn’t answer, but I swore I could hear him tossing and turning in his bed. Rest was probably evading him too. I slid my body down to the floor and planted my back against his door.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk.” I sighed, chewing my lower lip. “Maybe it’ll actually be better this way.”
I wanted to apologize to him, but I didn’t even know where to start. How could I possibly explain why I did what I did when the violence that erupted out of me had very little to do with Melanie and everything to do with my fucked up life? So, I started from the beginning.
“When I was a little girl,” I whispered, looking out into the dark hallway, “I was obsessed with fairy tales, Snow White being my favorite. The whole prince charming thing went completely over my head as a kid. In my mind, he was just there to help break the curse, but it was Snow who had to defeat the evil witch.” I paused, taking a shaky breath and trying to find the right words to say next. “I idolized her, Tristan. She was so strong and so brave. She defeated her evil witch, and I was in awe of that. I had a curse too, but it was my mother who ended up being the villain in my story.”
I had never shared this story with anyone before, but something in my gut begged me to continue. Maybe it was the fact that for all I knew, Tristan could be fast asleep on the other side of the door. Maybe it was because I knew that after what I did tonight, my days were numbered. Either way, the words didn’t want to be contained anymore, and I was finally ready to let them break free. Wringing my hands in my lap, I continued with my story.
“It started before I could even remember. I know that seems far-fetched, but I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t terrified of her. When my father was still alive, she at least had the decency to hide it, but after he died and I was forced to live with her and her new family, the abuse only got worse.”
“She punished me every time I felt anything. Do you know how hard it is to control your emotions as a hormonal thirteen-year-old?” I laughed, bitterly. “Even when I became a shell of a person, it still wasn’t good enough to stop the hits and slaps. My mother hated everything about me. When she died…” I stumbled, trailing off. “When she died, I thought the abuse would stop, but Malcolm quickly filled those shoes only he hit harder and as you already know, my dear old step dad was how I ended up here.”
“The shit with Melanie was about so much more than a few cheap shots. It was about me finally sticking up for myself after years of being stepped on. I was trying to break my curse.” I sighed, blinking back the tears welling in my eyes. “And I’m so sorry you got pulled into it.”