Fated is overrated

0126 Lola POV

I'm sitting next to a window, staring outside across a valley. Occasionally I see some people enter the perimeter, sometimes even in their dragon forms. It's the same spot I have been sitting in since I woke up after my life crumbled. I haven't eaten, I have barely slept despite my exhaustion, and I only drank enough just to stay alive.

For now. My heart is destroyed, shattered into a million pieces. The only thing stopping me from following after Nick is my newfound family. My father has lost so much already and he only recently found me again, I can't do that to him. Even though I might want to. I know Nick pleaded with me to live a happy life in his dying breath, but how am I supposed to do that? It feels like I have been at war all my life, and I am tired

. So, so tired. For the first time in my life, I feel weak. I am drained and weak, and I don't even care. All I want to do is crawl up into a ball and remain that way.

I don't know where I am, but I assume because of the dragons I have seen that I am in my father's home. Or castle by the looks of it. I haven't seen anyone in this room besides my father, and I am happy to have some tranquility. Perhaps he has told me where I am already, but I just haven't registered it. He has spoken to me a lot, but I have barely heard anything at all. I can imagine everyone else is tiptoeing around me after what happened at the arena, it must have looked frightening. I remember it all, despite feeling like I was on auto pilot at the time. I got consumed in my rage and I wouldn't have ever stopped until her ashes covered the ground. It didn't bring me any relief, as I didn't get Nick back. But I feel a small amount of satisfaction knowing I avenged him. Although him being the gentle soul that he was, he would have preferred me to not be this livid, to a point where it physically hurt. And not to mention, where I could have potentially hurt innocent people. But I couldn't control it. She didn't just push me over the edge with her disgusting words, she plummeted me into the deep pits of hell. I have been livid before, but nothing like this. She angered me to a point where I would go back to do it another 50 times, if it were possible. Harming the people I love brings out a whole other dimension of my anger I am yet to be familiar with - and I hope I never will be anymore.

My thoughts have been with Nick a lot. Reminiscing from seeing him for the first time, up until when I was finally ready to give myself to him. It made him so happy and it hurts my heart thinking about it. I should have had my entire life with him, but our time was cut short.

All Nick ever wanted was for me to be happy. And although it doesn't feel like I could ever be happy again right now, I owe it to him to at least try at some point. After I have wallowed in my grief that is. My girls have been grieving with me. As I expected, especially Justice took it really hard.

She had retracted to the back of my mind up until last night. She came back to me and we consoled each other. I really needed that, and I think she did too. Meanwhile Liberty had been the life jacket keeping us afloat, I don't know where I would have been without her. My gratitude for her is immeasurable.

I am brought out of my reverie when there is a soft knock at the door, it can only be my father. After a few seconds the door pushes open softly, and my father comes walking in with a tray of food, as he does each time.

And each time, he departs eventually with the same amount of food he came with. "Hey honey" he speaks softly, while setting the tray on a table. I manage to say a small, weak "hey" in return.

My father walks towards me and sits down next to me, before pulling me on his lap. A few weeks ago I would have protested as I don't know my father that well yet, but I am tired. And I welcome the comfort it brings me to be wrapped up in his strong arms, he is my father after all.

His scent soothes me and I inhale deeply as he strokes my hair. After a few moments of comfortable silence he speaks up "I know what you are going through honey.

When I lost your mother and I thought I lost you, the entire world crumbled for me. The only thing preventing me from losing my sanity was having to care for your brother who was still far too little". I wrap my hands around his back and bury my nose in his chest like a little girl, cuddling him even closer as he continues.

"Please just don't do anything stupid, honey. I have only just found you again it would shatter my heart if..."' his voice cracks as he tries to finish his sentence, so I interrupt him saying "I won't dad.

I promise. For you, and for Damon". He breathes a sigh of relief, although I can still feel him trembling slightly. It's odd to see such a big, strong King trembling in anxiety. It must be hard for him to see the daughter he has long awaited in such a state. But I would never do that to him, nor Damon.

Although Damon and I haven't spoken much since finding out we are siblings, the family bond changed things instantly, and I love him already.