Fate Stained - Part Two

We walked in complete silence to the pack hall. Jayce’s body was tense the whole time and mine felt like jello. My knees trembled and my stomach was in a spin, I felt nauseous and nervous, I didn’t want the pack to see me like this - to see us like this.

Just as we reached the doors to the pack hall, Jayce paused and exhaled slowly. Then he did something I wasn’t expecting, he took my hand in his. My head snapped to the side and I looked at him but he wouldn’t look back at me, instead he pushed open the doors and we stepped inside.

A loud cheer sounded as we walked in. Everyone standing from their seats and cheering the return of their Luna.

I don’t want to be here.

I shook my head and breathed in, putting all my effort into plastering the biggest smile I could muster on to my face. My eyes scanned the room, the whole pack was here and even some Eastern Ridge members I recognised such as Cassius, Lily and Gretchen.

Well you are here and they have done this all for you. So be grateful and put the other personal shit to the side for the next hour or so.

I chewed my bottom lip. I hadn’t realised I’d projected my thoughts to Jayce. I’d have to get use to that aspect of our bond again. I didn’t have to worry about that with Kyan as we hadn’t completed the bond.

Yet.

I winced as Jayce squeezed my hand a little too tightly but quickly composed myself. This was going to be a long couple of hours if he expected us to give the impression of happy families. Suddenly it made sense as to why he took my hand prior to entering the hall; he wanted us to put on a united front - the pack couldn’t sense that their Alpha and Luna weren’t talking to one another.

From the corner of my eye I saw Norah almost running up to us with an excited grin on her face, but one look from Jayce and she stopped in her tracks, her smile quickly replaced by pursed lips.

What was that about? I linked Jayce.

Don’t worry about it. Now address the room like a Luna and act grateful for what everyone has done for you.

I am grateful!

Ok. So tell them, not me.

I cleared my throat and subtly removed my hand from Jayce’s. Straightening my shoulders, I looked around the room.

“I don’t know what to say” I started, projecting my voice with an authority and power that caused the remaining chatter in the room to fall silent, “I’m so grateful and honoured that you would all welcome me home in such a manner. Your support through this time has been so appreciated. Our relationship with The Panthera Kingdom is now stronger than ever with the safe return of Prince Kyanite and I would also like to welcome a new member to our pack - my brother, Flynn”

I nodded in the direction of my brother, where he stood side by side with Kyan. Flynn smiled uncomfortably and I noticed Kyanite’s gaze remained firmly plastered on the ground at his feet.

The chatter started up in the room again, no doubt people wondering what the deal was with my brother and the gossip that would inevitably start again about myself and the panther prince.

“Please everyone, enjoy your night and give The Prince and my brother some space whilst they settle in. Hell is a harsh and cruel place, the nightmares I experienced in my short time there were enough to affect me on the deepest of levels…these two men deserve your patience and understanding while they recover from their ordeals”

Jayce’s side glance at me when I spoke didn’t go unnoticed. He hadn’t given me a chance to sit down and explain to him what I’d been through in Hell - which I completely understood. I just hoped after this initial anger wore off that he would listen to what I had to say.

The next hour went by in a blur. So many people welcomed me back with open arms and it wasn’t long before Jayce and I were separated, at least until dinner. During our meal Jayce made a little bit of small talk with me, but I could tell it was just a matter of keeping up appearances. He asked how the food was, if I wanted another drink and commented on the weather - yes, that’s right, the weather.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight Norah” I said after I’d finished the last of what was on my plate.

The bear looked up at me from across the table. I noticed her eyes dart quickly between Jayce and myself before falling back to her untouched meal. She shrugged her shoulders and mumbled something that sounded a bit like ‘I’m just tired’ under her breath.

Her behaviour was strange. Normally I would be kicking her under the table, trying to prevent her from saying something highly offensive or inappropriate. She wasn’t even giving Jayce shit, which was odd in itself.

After a couple of minutes Norah excused herself from the table. Jayce was deep in conversation with Cameron about some trade deal they had going with another pack so I took it as my opportunity to also slip away to see what the bear’s problem was. I remembered Jayce mentioning something about her and Darius, that was the reason for her staying in the pack house. I just hoped something horrible hadn’t happened between them, if it did - I’d fucking kill that prick.

I caught up with Norah just as she exited the doors at the rear of the pack hall, she stopped as the doors closed behind me, clearly knowing I’d followed her out.

“Took you long enough to take the hint we needed to talk” she muttered, crossing her arms in front of her chest and tapping her foot on the ground.

I scoffed at the bear’s comment.

“If that was you dropping hints that you wanted to talk, then you need to take a lesson in social skills”

Norah laughed and her body relaxed as she stepped towards me and embraced me in a hug. I froze for a second, not being used to this kind of affection from her, before reciprocating and patting the she bear on the back.

“Are you ok?” I asked as Norah released her hold on me.

“Am I ok! Quinn, are you ok?”

Something about Norah’s question had me wondering if it meant more than I knew. Ok about what? What was she referring to?

“Umm, I guess so. I’m tired. Hell was…you know, Hell”

“No, I’m not talking about that. What happened between you and Jayce? I expected you two to be walking into that pack hall, all hearts and butterflies with a fucking ring on your finger. Instead he walks in looking like you’d just killed his puppy and pissed in his cereal”

“You knew?!”

Norah half laughed at the shock on my face before placing her hand gently on my shoulder.

“Honey, I set that shit up for the dumb brute. Can you really picturing him, Mr. Tall Dark and Mopey, scattering rose petals around a room like a fucking flower girl? Please! He told me what he was going to do, so Blake and I gave him a hand. So…what the fuck happened?”

I sighed, my hand attempting to rub some of the tension out of my neck. Blake knew about this as well, great. That probably meant that Cam knew too, goddess, hopefully that was all.

“It’s…I— it’s a long story”

Footsteps behind had me jumping out of my skin but I relaxed somewhat when I turned around and saw that it was just Blake.

“It’s ok, just me. Jayce and Cam are still talking about some trade deal shit. I told Cameron I was going home to bed before they literally bored this baby out of me. So, let’s have it, before your not-so-fiancé realises that you’re gone…what happened?”

I was on the spot now. Arguing with Norah was one thing, but I wasn’t about to argue with a heavily pregnant wolf-mage hybrid. Blake was feisty enough at the best of times, this was a battle I would not win.

“I didn’t say no—”

“But you didn’t say yes?” Norah cut me off before I could continue.

I threw her a look and she put her hands up in apology, allowing me to finish.

“I didn’t say no. A lot happened when I was in Hell and I realised a lot too. I know it was only a day for you guys but for me it was a lot longer. Kyanite isn’t the same man he was when I first met him, I know you two haven’t met him before but no doubt you heard a lot of shit from Jayce. Jayce hates him, that’s fair enough, I would too in Jayce’s position. But he is my mate, the connection between us is strong…powerful”

“Did you fuck him?” Norah asked.

Blake gasped and narrowed her eyes on my neck.

“I don’t see another mating mark”

I closed my eyes, exhaling. I knew what I was about to say next would dramatically change Norah and Blake’s opinion of me, but it was a secret I could no longer hide.

“We slept together, yes, but we didn’t complete the bond. We haven’t completed the bond”

I don’t know what reaction I expected. Anger? Surprise? Shock? But instead the women just looked at me, as if they were mulling things over in their minds, trying to figure out how they actually felt about the whole thing.

It was Blake who spoke first.

“I remember how I felt the second I saw Cameron for the first time. It was like every nerve in my body was sending electrical and chemical pulses to my brain then straight down to my…ahem, lady parts. But it was more than just physical. It was like I had an instant love for the man, like I would suddenly do absolutely anything for him. I would have taken a bullet for him, there and then, the second our eyes met. I don’t envy you Quinn, none of us can put ourselves in your shoes and none of us would want to. I just hope you take both men’s hearts and feelings into consideration. This is a dangerous road you’re travelling”

Blake’s response both surprised and overwhelmed me. I felt the tears burning the back of my eyes before I could try to stop them. To have someone vocalise that they understood and sympathised with my actions meant more to me than I could ever have imagined. I sniffed back a few tears and Blake rubbed my arm reassuringly.

“We’ll get though this Quinn. Baby steps”

“Hey. I never said I didn’t like Kyan” Norah piped up, “all the shit the big dumb wolf said about him just made me want to meet the dude even more. I’ve got your back with what ever decision you make and if it all turns to shit then we can forget about those two and go find that bear mate of yours, hey, maybe we can find mine in the process!”

Blake rolled her eyes and punched Norah’s arm.

“Ow! That’s not fair fatty! You know I can’t defend myself to a pregnant woman!”

“Did you really help Jayce with the…proposal?” I asked.

Blake sighed and nodded her head. She looked genuinely sad that I hadn’t said yes and I wondered if she was sad for herself or Jayce.

“We did” she answered, “remember when Cami had all of your childhood stuff shipped here a couple of years ago?”

I nodded my head. I hadn’t wanted to look in any of the boxes. There were still a lot of raw memories that I didn’t want revisiting so I’d had Jayce but them all in storage.

“Well about a year ago Jayce decided to go through the boxes. Cam and I tried to talk him out of it as I thought it was an invasion of your privacy, but the man’s heart was in the right place. He found your scrap book that you made when you were little, you know the one about your future prince and the spectacle of a wedding you were destined to have? Anyway, he saw the drawing of your engagement ring and he and I went to a neighbouring pack to have it made up”

Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as Blake spoke. Never had anyone done something like this for me before. The thought that had gone into this proposal and the care and time…I really was a monster for what I’d done to him.

“I don’t know how to fix this…I’ve really fucked up” I whispered, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

Blake wrapped her arms around me and I chuckled at the way her firm belly pressed into mine.

“Talk to him and have him listen. That’s all you can do…the rest is up to him” she soothed.

“And if he doesn’t listen…just order him to” Norah added.

Order him to…

Suddenly my mind was swept back to our very impersonal shower sex and my stomach twisted, almost to the point where I wanted to throw up. Fuck. My relationship with Kyan and the way I went about it wasn’t the only thing I needed to apologise for. The fact that I’d ordered Jayce to have sex with me was another thing entirely.

He’d hesitated, maybe he didn’t want to! I’d forced him to have sex…what was I?!

Before I knew what was happening an overwhelming wave of nausea took hold and I spun around just in time to expel everything I’d eaten in the last twenty four hours without getting it on anyone’s feet.