Chapter 16 - Always And Forever
Quinn’s demeanour had changed dramatically since I’d brought up the possibility of her being pregnant. As the minutes ticked by she almost appeared to withdraw and close in on herself, like the notion of a pregnancy was eating away at her from the inside out.
“Quinn. It was just a thought. Maybe you’re not, surely Moira’s checks on you would have revealed a pregnancy”
Quinn raised her head and looked at me, confusion etched in her features.
“Moira’s checks?”
Oh, right. Quinn had been unconscious during that whole ordeal. Time to confuse her even more.
“After you collapsed, Moira checked you over but there were some problems”
“Problems?”
“Her stethoscope couldn’t pick up a heartbeat on you at all, even though your heart was quite clearly beating. Also, Atropos was concerned that you might have hurt your stomach so Moira did an ultrasound and the machine wouldn’t register any of your organs at all—”
Quinn’s face scrunched up. There was that confusion.
“Wait” she said, holding her hand up, “Two things - Moira’s equipment wouldn’t work on just me? and Atropos was there? Why the Hell was Atropos there?”
“She said you called to her”
“I most certainly did not. What do you mean Moira’s equipment wouldn’t work?”
She didn’t call Atropos? Then why would the Goddess say that?
“Just that, it wouldn’t work. Flynn seemed to think that maybe something mystical was blocking the technology. He was able to use his powers to listen to your heart and check for internal bleeding. Whatever blocked the stethoscope and the ultrasound, couldn’t block Flynn”
Quinn nodded, taking in what I was saying.
“So if I was pregnant then Flynn would have most certainly picked it up then”
“Yes, I guess you’re right”
A weighted silence fell between us again and I cleared my throat.
“Quinn?”
My mate’s blue eyes raised to meet mine again and my heart skipped a beat. All I wanted in this world was for everything to go back to the way it was before Quinn had gone to Hell. I missed her, I missed us. This thing that loomed between us was threatening to damage everything we’d worked so hard to build. After Quinn’s ordeal with Magdalene and the loss of our daughter, we’d finally reached a place of peace and effortless unity - but now, that peace seemed like a distant dream - what we were living right now was a nightmare.
“Yes?” She answered.
I took a deep breath and squeezed her hand in mine.
“I love you”
A quiver in her bottom lip and a gentle squeeze of my hand in return, let me know that the statement meant more to her than she could convey with words. Of course I loved her, fuck, I’d never loved anything else so much in my life. If she needed me to reassure her of that while we worked through all of this, then I would, I’d remind her every second of everyday if I needed to.
“I— I love you too Jayce”
Leaning forward in my chair, I pressed my lips down gently on to Quinn’s cheek, kissing the tear that had slipped from her ice blue eyes and ran silently down her perfect face. I felt Quinn’s eyes close and she sighed, leaning into my kiss and nuzzling her face against mine.
“Always and forever”
Flynn POV
Sitting back in Moira’s clinic, I needed to push the thoughts of my pregnant sister to the side for now and focus on the job at hand. Luckily for me, focus wasn’t an issue. I’d had seventeen years to work on my focus, blocking out the terrors and torments of Hell, blocking out everything that Hades would throw at me so I could disguise my essence and hide from his relentless torture. The level of concentration needed to travel to and remain in my subconscious for as long as I did, would make a even brain surgeon envious.
“You’re doing amazingly Flynn” Moira gushed, “How are you feeling?”
Opening my eyes, I stretched my arms and smiled across the table at the wolf doctor. I liked the woman. She was knowledgeable and showed to have a keen interest in learning from me even though, right now, it was me that was learning from her. As in touch with my subconscious as I was, being in touch with my animal was another thing entirely. My animal had been unable to surface in Hell, but - in saying that - I’d still been able to hear his voice. Moira was certain this meant my animal, or animals, were strong and I had no doubt, after working with her this morning, that she was right.
“I feel good. I feel strong. The connection is there, even in this last hour I feel more in touch with Pieter than I did before our brief…intermission”
“That’s great” Moira smiled.
“So” I continued, getting to my feet, “When do you think we should try this shifting thing? I heard you all talking from Quinn’s room earlier; Kyanite’s idea of placing me in a holding cell…it wasn’t half bad”
The wolf doctor’s happy face suddenly took on an edge of concern and I didn’t know if it was to do with the fact that I’d overheard their conversation or that she didn’t think I was ready to shift yet.
“You really think you’re ready? We’ve only worked on your connection for a few hours—”
“So, what? A few more hours and we give it a crack?”
Haha. A crack - like a bone cracking. Shifter pun, funny.
I chuckled internally at Pieter’s appreciation of my humour, at least someone appreciated it.
“I’ll run it passed Jayce and get him to check out the suitability of the cells. But we are guided by you on this, if you think you are ready…then that’s what we’ll go with”
I nodded at Moira then quickly frowned as I noticed the way her face scrunched up slightly. There was a slither of doubt somewhere and it was written all over her features.
“What?” I asked, “out with it”
“You’re not rushing this because you want to— because you and Fern—”
Because I want to fuck her?
I flinched at Pieter’s crassness and shook my head.
“No. Fern is my mate, obviously I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking about that—”
Oh Goddess how I was thinking about that!
“—But if her pack…her Alpha…comes looking for her then I want to be able to be at my full strength to protect her, and that means being able to shift if I need to. Completing our bond - if that’s what Fern wants - can wait…I can wait”
Moira nodded, a small smile passing over her face as if that was the answer she’d been wanting to hear.
“Good. Well I think this was enough work for today anyway and I’ll speak to Jayce to figure out the rest”
Moira walked with me to the front door and saw me out of the clinic.
“Oh, and Flynn?” She called as I headed down the stairs.
I turned around to face the she-wolf.
“Remember to steer clear of Fern for now or make sure you have someone with you—”
“Got it” I answered, giving her a salute, “I’ll be sure to have a chaperone if I plan to go see her”
“That’s a good boy”
Kyanite POV
I didn’t particularly want to hang around in the pack house’s granny flat. Sure, it was better than living in the Beta’s kennel, but it was still shit knowing Quinn was so close, sharing a bed with that dog, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
So I’d headed back down to the creek, the only place in this stupid compound that I even felt slightly at home.
“You called mother yet?”
Aghhh. Fuck me.
I turned my head and gave Onyx a tight lipped smile as she approached me from the direction of the pack house. I looked behind her but was disappointed to see that she was alone.
“Where’s Quinn?” I asked
“Don’t change the subject”
“Mother…right. No, I haven’t called her yet”
“Don’t you think you should?”
Rolling my eyes I sat down on the grass, my back leaning against the large tree. I knew that I should have called her, at least. I’d been back a couple of days but I still didn’t know what to say to her or my father. I knew they’d want to know when I was coming home and then obviously they’d want to plan my coronation as King.
King. Fuck me.
Not even I had any idea when I was going to go back to Panthera. I knew the second I left this place that Jayce would take it as though he’d won…and what if Quinn took it as though I’d deserted her?
My whole life, albeit the last three years, had been me training and preparing for one day taking over as King of The Panthera Kingdom - and now the time was here and my mind was so clouded, so distracted. I remembered back to when I’d first laid eyes on Quinn and I knew back then that she would jeopardise my reign as King, I’d hated her for it and at one point wanted her dead. But, here I was now, the crown within fingers reach and I didn’t know if I even still wanted it.
“Of course I should call her” I sighed finally.
Onyx came to sit next to me under the tree. We had a strange relationship, my sister and I; but in this moment her presence was comforting.
“You know” she started, picking up a leaf and twirling it between her fingers, “There was a time when I hated the fact that you were born first and were therefore next in line for the throne”
I hummed in acknowledgment of her statement and closed my eyes, resting my head back against the tree.
“But the last three years have made me realise that ruling a Kingdom is not really all it’s cracked up to me”
I chuckled at the shocked tone in Onyx’s voice. My dear sister, ever with her head in the clouds. Of course ruling a Kingdom wasn’t a walk in the park. It wasn’t all designer gowns and lavish tea parties - it was fucking hard work. I’d spent years training for it…Onyx hadn’t.
“No. It really isn’t, I’m sorry you had to find out the hard way”
“Please don’t apologise. I’m the one who should be sorry”
I turned to face Onyx. She looked sad, tired even. Her huge dark eyes were slightly sunken and their usual sparkle was now dimmed, the only thing glistening was the trace of an unshed tear.
“What is there that you could possibly be sorry for?” I asked.
“Everything. All of it. If it wasn’t for me, you would never be in this mess - I was the reason you met Quinn, therefore I was the reason you spent the last three years in Hell and are sitting here right now, miserable as all get out”
Another chuckle fell from my mouth and Onyx stared at me with a look of confusion, like what could I possibly find funny under the current circumstances.
“You’re right. You are the reason I met Quinn; but you shouldn’t be apologising for that. I should be sitting here, thanking you. Before I met her, I was a fucking prick - you know it, don’t pretend I wasn’t”
Onyx laughed, a hint of a sparkle returning to her eyes.
“I wasn’t going to deny it” she giggled.
“Good. As I was saying, I was a fucking prick. My one goal in life was to rule Panthera and look after the people in it just like my father had and his father before him. The idea of taking a mate sickened me and I saw fated mates as a weakness - Hell, I saw women in general as a weakness. My heart was cold and empty and I had no problem with that. But then Quinn came along and that all changed. They say you never know true happiness until you meet the love of your life - Quinn is my true happiness, she is it for me”
A tiny choked sob tore from Onyx’s mouth and I had to fight the urge to hug the silly girl. She was a romantic at heart but even I knew this was no standard love story. This was not the thing people would write books about or songs over - this was confusing and fucked up - but it was my love story and as fucked up as it was, I didn’t want it to end.
“What are you going to do Kyan?” Onyx asked sadly, she hesitated for a moment before placing her tiny hand on top of mine.
I stared at her hand and marvelled at how such a simple gesture managed to slow my heart rate and turned out to be exactly what I’d needed in this moment.
“I don’t know Nyx. Right now I’m a panther prince that is in love with the Luna of a wolf pack. If you have any suggestions, then I’m all ears”