False Start: A Fake Dating Sports Romance (Red Zone Rivals)

“I can’t believe you managed to wait so long for this,” Mom said, messing with the lapels and tie on my suit even though I knew it looked perfect. My guess was she just needed something to do with her hands to keep from crying.

“That makes two of us,” I said. “But, then again, I guess it wasn’t fair of me to expect Madelyn to want to get into a wedding dress less than three months after giving birth.”

Mom chuckled. “The only thing I was wearing three months after birth was compression leggings and you. You loved being wrapped up tight to my chest.”

She smiled with the memory, her eyes going misty the way they had often over the last year since she’d shown up on our doorstep.

I didn’t know if things would ever be normal between us — then again, I didn’t know what normal was when it came to my parents.

All I knew was that things were better.

I knew it wasn’t easy for her to leave my father. I knew she was scared out of her mind those first few months, thinking he’d show up and drag her out of my house by her hair. He would have had me to answer to if he so much as tried — and maybe that’s why he never did.

Eventually, she flew back to file for divorce, and surprisingly, Dad didn’t fight her on it.

That hurt her worse than anything.

He didn’t fight to keep her. He didn’t fight to have a relationship with me. He was perfectly content to let us both go.

While it broke my mom’s heart for us, it broke mine more for him — because all that told me was that he was hurt, and he had no intention of healing. I would never know the reasons my father was the way he was. I would never know what happened to him, or what dark secrets he held onto.

But sometimes, that’s just the way it is. You can love someone and never understand them. You can care for someone, and also have to draw boundaries with them. You can wish someone well while also realizing that in order for yourself to be well, you have to let them go.

“Let’s get you to that altar, shall we?” Mom said, tugging on my tie one last time.

I bent and kissed her on the forehead, looping my arm through hers, and then we made our way outside.

The venue Madelyn and I had settled on was simple, save for the views it offered. Nestled atop a cliff on a beautiful gorge with the Pacific Northwest spread out in all its glory, the altar was nothing more than three old pieces of wood nailed together by someone hundreds of years ago. But the view made it grand, luxurious, and breathtaking.

We’d needed only one look at it to know it was the one for us.

It was such a small ceremony, Madelyn and I had opted not to have the traditional bridesmaids and groomsmen next to us. Instead, I walked past my friends seated on either side of the aisle, smiling as they shot out jokes and one-liners at my expense.

Clay and Giana were attempting to wrangle Atlas, who was eager to show off his new skill of walking. Riley and Zeke sat next to them, Riley smiling despite the fact that I was sure she was still battling nausea as Zeke rubbed her back soothingly. She was in her first trimester — a secret she shared with us only so we would know if she ran out of our wedding to puke, that it wasn’t because of us.

Holden, Julep, Mary, and Leo sat in the row across the aisle from the previous group. Holden seemed to sit a bit taller now — something I was sure winning the Super Bowl did to everyone. He’d taken a team that had virtually zero chance of even making the playoffs three years ago all the way to the end.

I had a feeling he’d go down as one of the greatest, and I was all too eager to be in the same category.

Just behind them sat Braden and Emily — his arm draped around the back of her chair, and her smirking and leaning into him. She and Mary had spent most of our welcome dinner last night planning out Emily’s next tattoo, all while the rest of us reminisced with Braden about the bumpy road they’d had that led to where they were now.

But that’s a story for another time.

Once I was at the altar, Mom wrapped me in a light hug before taking her seat in the front row. Instead of sitting on a certain side of the aisle, she sat right next to Madelyn’s mom — who had become a great friend to my mom in this trying time in her life.

Other than our parents and the North Boston University crew, we had only a few other guests. There were some women Madelyn met through mommy groups there with their husbands and kids, Madelyn’s brother, of course, and his wife. I’d invited a few close friends from the team, who were having a hard time keeping their rowdiness in check before the reception.

All in all, we had less than fifty guests in attendance.

When I turned to face them once I was at the altar, I was thankful for the small gathering. Something about me had turned inward when I became a father. I’d become more private, barely posting on social media once a week, if at all, and never with my kids in the photos. They couldn’t escape the media — not with my career, and especially since Sebastian wanted to be at every game — but I could at least let them be the ones to decide on their social media presence once they were old enough.

We’d kept the date quiet, somehow able to skirt the media frenzy — likely thanks to Giana throwing reporters off any time they sniffed around asking.

And it just felt right, being surrounded by our close friends and family on our big day.

My throat felt tight as I folded my hands in front of my waist and waited for the ceremony to start. I couldn’t keep the emotion at bay, no matter how I tried. It was creeping up more and more with every passing moment.

Never in a million years did I think I’d be in this position.

It was unreal, honestly, to think back on who I was two years ago. That version of me was a shell of a man, a shadow of what I was to become. He wandered around aimlessly. He imagined a career in the NFL where the only thing that mattered to him was having the best stats, winning every game, and fucking the hottest women he could find along the way. That man’s biggest concerns were what car he drove, and how many likes his most recent post had on Instagram.

I didn’t know that man now.

Because now, my entire world revolved around Madelyn, Sebastian, and Raven.

I still loved football. Hell, it was my career, my passion, my driving force to do better and be better. It was still as engrained in my heart as ever.

It just had to share, now.

Every night, I went home to Madelyn. Every day, I spent every second I could with my kids. And every morning, I woke with my mind spinning with gratitude. I couldn’t believe this was my life, couldn’t understand how I’d been so lucky.

How had the universe delivered Madelyn back to me?

How had I managed to get it right, to not fuck up my second chance with her?

How did we manage to overcome the tragedy we’d lived through as teenagers, to somehow find love and understanding and forgiveness on the other side?

It felt like a miracle, and maybe it was. Maybe she was my little miracle.

Those thoughts were still swirling in my mind when the violin player at the back of the last row began to play a new song, and everyone turned in their chairs to watch the show.

The show being my son carrying my daughter in his arms, doing his best to entertain her and keep her from crying as he did some sort of weird dance-jog down from the lodge and down the aisle.

We all chuckled as he dug into the basket Raven held in her hands, tossing white rose petals left and right. He’d do a few and then wait for her to follow suit, showing her how to grab a handful and let it go. When Raven did it the first time, she giggled with glee, looking up at Sebastian for approval and smiling even bigger when he bounced her in his arms and encouraged her to go again.

My heart tripped inside my chest at the sight.

Sebastian was growing more and more into a young man every day. I couldn’t believe he was eight now.

I also couldn’t believe he was officially my son.

He would have been even without the paperwork, but there was something about having it made legal, about him taking my last name that cemented a sense of security. And although I knew it killed him a little that his own father never fought for him, that he was so content to let Sebastian go… I also knew he was happier without being forced to spend time with a man who scared him.

As he got older, I would explain everything. I would be there for every question he had. And I’d share my own struggles I’d had with my father to make sure he knew he wasn’t alone.

Sebastian would start third grade in just a few months, and in the last year, I’d witnessed him being the best big brother any little girl could ever wish for. He’d taken the role seriously from the beginning, helping us with diaper changes and feedings and bath time just because he wanted to. Now, his favorite pastime was making his sister laugh. He played with her more than he did his rocks and Titan combined.

I didn’t know how long that would last, how long he would dote on her before she’d become his annoying little sister who never left him alone. But Madelyn and I soaked up every moment of it while we could.

The only thing Sebastian loved more than his little sister was playing football.

That had been a new development that Madelyn had both loved and hated. I couldn’t blame her. With any sport came the possibility of injury, and I knew as a parent myself now how impossibly hard it was to watch knowing there was nothing you could do to keep them safe.

But Sebastian thrived on his team. He was a natural born leader, and with the arm he was developing, I could see him walking in Holden’s footsteps one day.

As for Raven?

She looked like her mother — and had me wrapped around her little pinky.

It was true what they said about parenthood. The days were long, but the first year had felt like a blink of an eye. I watched that little girl grow from a soft, sleepy bundle of heat that slept and ate more than anything else, to a curious toddler who was starting to pull herself up and take her first assisted steps. Her wide brown eyes were just like Madelyn’s, her smile more like mine, and every day, we watched her explore the world and experience firsts that felt like a bigger win to me than any game I’d ever played.

When they were almost to the end of the aisle, Sebastian carefully set Raven’s feet on the grass, holding her hands above her head and helping her walk to me. I swung her up in my arms when she made it, savoring the gleeful giggle that pealed out of her. I kissed her cheek and pulled Sebastian into my side, kissing his hair and telling him how proud I was of him.

Then, he and Raven took their seats next to Madelyn’s father, and all eyes swiveled to the end of the aisle.

We’d all been so busy watching the kids, we hadn’t noticed sneaky Madelyn making her way out of the lodge.

She stood there like an angel, her copper hair swept back into an elegant bun and her hands wrapped tightly around a bouquet of lilies and roses.

I didn’t know what I thought I’d see when I finally laid eyes on her, but nothing in my imagination compared to the long, lacy details of the dress hugging her figure and draping down into the grass behind her. The flowery cream fabric hung from delicate straps over each shoulder, the V neckline hugging her curves and highlighting the slim tapering of her waist. The skirt of the dress flared off at her hips, just slightly, and then fell in beautiful, flowing waves down to the ground.

She looked like something from a fairytale, like a goddess and a princess and a fairy all at once. I half expected the moss and trees and spring flowers to move with her, the birds to float down and land in her hair as she stood there smiling at me.

And God, was it the most breathtaking smile I’d ever seen.

I willed myself to hold it together — and not just because I knew the guys had a bet on how long I could make it before I burst into tears.

But because I wanted to be strong for Madelyn, for our family. I wanted to hold my chin high at the end of that aisle and hold her gaze steadily with my own as she walked toward me, toward our future.

All of that went to hell when she took the first step, though.

Because her soft, berry-painted lips curved up, her eyes glossed, and I realized in one all-encompassing moment that she was mine.

So, of course — I fucking lost it.

Madelyn

He was stunning.

I couldn’t help the intake of air that I held captive in my throat as we took each other in, the noise of our guests and the violin fading to the background.

My husband-to-be was a vision at the altar, the forest green of his suit with the rich brown accents of his tie and Chelsea boots making him seem as if he’d been born right here in the forest. Even from this distance, I could see the glint of his gold cufflinks, the elegant watch hugging his wrist, the sprig of white flowers pinned to his lapel.

And when I took the first step toward him, he choked on the sob I knew he was trying so hard to hold back, his eyes flooding so fast, he couldn’t hide the tears that slid down his cheeks.

I couldn’t help but smile even more at him, and he shook his head like he couldn’t believe how fast he’d turned to goop. But he didn’t hide his tears. He didn’t hang his head or swipe them away. Instead, he held his chin high, kept his eyes on mine, and savored every step I took with his bottom lip wobbling.

I couldn’t tear my eyes from him to acknowledge our guests as I walked between the rows, but I felt their presence, heard their whispered murmurs as I passed.

“You look beautiful, Mommy!” Sebastian said when I was close to the front row, and I snapped my head in his direction, beaming as tears flooded my own eyes at the sight of him holding Raven in his lap.

I veered off course long enough to bend and kiss them both, and then I handed my bouquet to my mother, and I stepped up to the altar where Kyle stood waiting.

“You’re a mess,” I whispered on a laugh, swiping my hands over his cheeks and jaw to mop up the tears.

“You make me this way.”

I smiled, sliding my hands into his, and I knew he was fighting leaning in to kiss me as much as I was with him. It was silly, to have to wait to kiss the man I shared a bed with every night, the man I quite literally made a baby with.

But I kind of liked watching him squirm with the need to kiss me and not being able to quite yet.

“You are so beautiful,” he mouthed, squeezing my hands, his eyes trailing over me as he shook his head. “It’s unreal.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“Wanna skip this part and just…” He jutted his chin back toward his right shoulder, eyes wide like he was ready to sweep me into his arms and run.

I laughed, but before I could accept his offer, the ceremony began.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please be seated,” the officiant said, calling our attention to him. “We are gathered here today to witness the union between Kyle Robbins and Madelyn James…”

When we’d hired our officiant, we’d asked him to keep our ceremony short and sweet. I knew from our rehearsal last night what he was saying, how he would tell a little of our story to the crowd that already knew it, anyway.

And so, I let his words fade to the background, let myself live in a quiet moment with Kyle holding my hands and our future stretching out before us.

When it came time for us to read vows, I began.

Writing had always been a passion of mine, and that passion had room to grow and flourish in the last year. Writing my vows had been easy, and I read them without even looking at a card, holding Kyle’s gaze and smiling a little in victory when I made him cry again.

Little did I know the joke would be on me in the end.

When it was his turn, he let go of one of my hands to pull a small notebook from the inside of his tuxedo jacket. He held tight to my one hand while he read, his Adam’s apple bobbing hard in his throat before he began.

“Madelyn, finding the right words to tell you how much you mean to me, to promise everything I want to promise you… well, it has proved impossible. We all know you’re the writer. I had no doubts you would put my vows to shame,” he said as the crowd chuckled. “But I happen to know you better than anyone else in the world. And because of that, I know that for you, it’s the simple things that matter most.

“I know you love Earl Grey tea when you’re tired or feeling down. I know the exact amount of ice to put in your water before placing it on your nightstand each night. I know when I make chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese for the kids, that I have to make a separate batch of mac just for you — and load it up with extra cheese, bacon, sour cream, and chives.”

The guests laughed a little as I covered my face, embarrassed at the truth in that statement.

“I know a lot of other things about you, too,” he continued. “Like the two lines that crease on your forehead when you’re thinking about the next line you want to write in your book. I know the difference between a real, genuine laugh, and the laugh you give me or the kids when we’re walking a thin line between being funny and getting into trouble.”

Another laugh sounded from the guests, and I felt my nose stinging, eyes watering at how well this man did know me.

“But there’s so much more I still want to know about you,” Kyle said, his eyes finding mine. “And I know that will never not be true. There is nothing in this world I love to discover more than you. Every day I spend by your side, I peel back another layer. I find something new to love. I find something new to cherish in the woman I never deserved, but will spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of.”

I squeezed his hand in mine, trying to tell him without words that he deserved me and more.

“Madelyn, you have brought out the best in me,” he said, and he choked a bit on those words, clearing his throat as I willed my own emotions to stay checked. “I didn’t have an example of a father growing up — not one I would ever want to emulate, anyway. But over the past year, through being a father, I have learned more about love, kindness, compassion and understanding than ever before. And because of that, I know you really are an angel on earth. Because no one is as kind, compassionate, and understanding as you are.

“You light me up with the fire to live the life I was always too afraid to live before. You make me feel brave. You make me feel limitless. And truthfully, I know there’s nothing in this world that you and I could ever face that would hold us down. I know we can survive and thrive through any test.

“From this moment and until my last breath, I vow to love you, Madelyn James soon-to-be-Robbins.” He smiled at that, squeezing my hand as the crowd sniffed and chuckled. “I vow to be the husband you deserve, the father I never had, and the friend you’ve always been to me. Because though our love is powerful and unending, it’s our friendship that has always been our lifeline, the roots that hold our foundation strong.”

I nodded, two silent tears slipping down my cheeks.

“I love you. And I will keep loving you until I am taken from this Earth, and long after I am gone, too. Always. That’s how long you have me. Forever. That’s how long I want you. Infinite, Madelyn — that’s what we are.”

I couldn’t wait any longer.

As soon as the words left his lips, I threw my arms around his neck and crashed into him, crying even as he chuckled against my mouth. But he dropped the notebook and swept me into his arms, holding me tightly to him as our guests hooted and hollered and made jokes about us not being able to wait.

I thought I heard the officiant announce us as husband and wife.

I thought I heard cheers and felt the dried flower petals we’d given our guests raining over us.

I thought I heard the universe exhale a sigh of relief that we’d finally figured it out.

But none of it registered — not the music or the applause or the smell of the rain moving in.

Because all I could hear, see, and feel in that moment was the most beautiful truth I’d ever known.

I had Kyle Robbins, and he had me.

And we had forever stretching out in front of us, bright and beautiful and unknown.