Falling Awake (Unbreakable #2)

I mean…

Yes.

I…

Well, I wanted…

But no, I couldn’t help myself.

For two thousand seven hundred seconds exactly, I wasn’t able to do anything else just to vividly perceive Eric’s presence in the geography class which we shared together unplanned because Mr. Davis called in sick.

He was sitting six feet behind me, and I could feel his gaze as intensively as if someone had pressed a red-hot piece of iron directly onto my skin. The view outside the window didn’t help me to free my mind of him. The sun peeking out from under the clouds didn’t help me relax. Kyle’s jokes didn’t help, nor did Mr. Browns’s lecture.

Every piece of my damn body was very well aware of his closeness.

And all I wanted was to turn around, smile at him, and ask how he was doing. Hell, I longed to know if he missed me as fucking much as I did miss him. I couldn’t stay sitting still, I couldn’t even breath properly. I couldn’t ignore my craving. Because yes, I craved him like a junkie craves his heroin.

Inwardly, I had to shout at myself, I had to scold myself more than once. Because all I desired was to stand up, approach him, sit straight on his lap, wrap his arms around my body and snuggle up to him. I was going insane.

What chances that I would endure being around him until the end of the school year, did I have?

The same as if I won two hundred million dollars in the next five minutes.

To go through that day was torment itself, and in addition, my wonderful best friend asked me to join her at lunch after the last class. I wasn’t… Or…, yeah, maybe I was a little grateful for that. Because now, I could argue with my stomach instead of my heart. And that was a pretty nice change.

Something was probably going on and to be honest, I would appreciate some excitement in the state I was in. Anything that would tear my thoughts away from my demon.

He looked tense today. Pretty nervous, I’d say.

Should I care?

No.

But try to explain it to my brain.

Attempts to negotiate with my heart, well… I gave up those a long time ago.

I managed to find Jess as soon as I entered the lunchroom. I was terribly hungry, yet at the second I looked into her face, I knew I wouldn’t touch my food. Something really did happen; something must have been wrong. She looked too pale, and I understood that the filling my stomach with pasta had to wait.

“Jess?” I asked immediately as I sat down next to her. “What´s going on?”

Goodness gracious!

I swear, it was the most perfect version of a guilty expression I saw on her face.

“Lara, I’m sorry, I...,” she got stuck. And it reliably made my already weak heart pound.

“What are you apologizing for?” I tried to keep a soft tone. But I couldn’t stay calm when I noticed that she was actually having a problem speaking. Jessica wasn’t like that.

“Colin asked me to do something, and I feel a terrible remorse for agreeing to that,” she finally confessed, causing me a minor heart attack.

“Okay, everything´s fine.” I moved a level up, this time I already tried not to panic. “Now’s your chance. Spill your guts out!”

She sighed heavily as she gave up her inner fight. Fortunately, my best friend was on my side. “He had the boys at school radio play some song for you and he asked me to persuade you to come to lunch after the last class so you could hear it. I´m sorry.”

I looked at her, I was staring at her, I just kept staring until the meaning of her words crept into my hemispheres. Until I understood what she´d said. And I burst out laughing hysterically.

“Are you kidding me? You’re kidding me, right? What is he? Fucking twelve years old?”

I definitely have to tell the boys at home about this!

Definitely!

However, Jessica didn’t seem amused. “No, I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

And that was the moment.

Exactly the moment when the fun was over. I literally felt the color fading from my face.

“What?” I almost shouted.

No, no, no!

This is not really happening.

This can´t be…

Think, Lara, dammit think!!!

I immediately got up, grabbed my backpack, and headed straight for the exit.

“Where are you going?” Jessica opened her mouth.

“I’m running away,” I blurted out, “and you´re gonna make up with an excuse. Tell him you did everything possible and impossible to get me here. Yet..., I don’t know! Tell him I’ve got a call from my mom. Or Jim. Or the vice president himself. Tell him I want to be a nun when I grow up. Hell, I don’t care! You got me into this, and now you´re gonna help me out!”

“You won’t make it Lara,” I heard her behind me, saying. “They’re here any minute.”

Well, they say that the fucking hope always dies as last.

As fast as I could, I run through the narrow alleys between the tables. All I wanted was to disappear. Seamlessly. However, the idea of uncomplicated escape faded away as soon as I closed the lunchroom door. Right after I recognized Colin and Kyle’s voices, coming from the hallway.

I froze, trying frantically to think which way I should start running. But instead of some logical solution, I was just panicking. Because it looked like that they were about to emerge at any moment and find me there in a pretty desperate situation. I needed to move, I needed to go somewhere but I realized in horror that I had only three options left.

First, I could face Colin, which was a dumb idea if I didn’t want him to know that I was already in the lunchroom. That I met Jessica. That I already knew about this and now I was trying to hide from him.

Secondly, I could try to run down the hall to my right, which was even a dumber idea because it was too long. I had no chance to manage to get to its other side and they would both see me running.

Third, I could go back, which was the dumbest option. I would have to put up with Colin’s emotional confession, and to be honest I’d rather let myself lock in a room full of mosquitoes.

I was trying, I was trying really hard to force myself to come up with something, I needed to come up with anything! However, my brain simply refused to cooperate. I could only stand there as if I were chained to the ground.

How about hiding under a table in the dining room?

Is there a chance he wouldn’t find me?

No.

He would think I am crazy.

Like everyone who would see the theater.

I gave up all faith as it slowly dawned on me. Not only did I fail to escape, but Colin was about to find me here and understand that I wanted to evade him. No, I had no choice but to close my eyes and wait for my defeat. And at least try to figure out what I should tell him when he shows up in front of me.

And just so, out of the blue, my hope suddenly rose from dead when I heard the door open behind me. It was clear to me that I would look like a fresh fugitive from a psychiatric hospital, but maybe I could pretend to talk to the person who just came out of lunchroom. Colin wouldn’t know I was running away from him. Nonetheless… I wouldn’t avoid his confession.

I didn’t manage it.

I didn’t manage to even turn around and look.

A hand wrapped around my back and I was pushed somewhere. It took three seconds; it took me three seconds to orient myself again. Only to realize that I was standing in some very small and very poorly lit space. There were old and damaged tables and chairs from the lunchroom situated on my left side. And a long heavy curtain hanging on my right side was hiding them from the rest of the world.

A CURTAIN?

Fuck!

How the hell is it even possible that I didn’t notice that huge curtain?

I mean, I did notice it… but I kinda always thought there was nothing behind it…

Gosh, girl! Your logic is sometimes really brain-stopping! Why would it be there then???

I needed two more seconds to understand that I had been saved, that I had been hidden. That there would be no Colin, no confessions. That he wouldn’t find out I knew about it.

To say I was relieved?

Actually no, I wasn’t.

Because it suddenly dawned on me, I realized who I was hidden in this small space with. And whose hand was still wrapped around the waist.

It was no man who had come out of that door. It was a demon himself, and I swear it must have been anything but a coincidence.

My reaction was automatic.

I immediately tried to slip out of his grip. I clutched his T-shirt as I wanted to push him away from me. But my chances could be compared to a flea trying to lift an elephant’s leg. Without hesitation, he leaned his hand against the wall behind me, he pinned his gorgeous body to mine. Out of the blue, I couldn’t even breathe properly when he pressed the index finger of his other hand to my lips.

Holy crap!

He forced an army of little ants to start racing chaotic down my spine. The chill, the electricity crept into every corner of my body. They were screaming, I swear, every single cell in me was screaming as they simply went crazy craving his touch. I could barely suppress a shiver; I had a damn big problem recalling my name.

And he made it ten thousand times worse, he showed me how hell tasted like when he slowly bowed to me. I swear he did it on purpose, when he run with his nose through my cheek only to whisper softly in my ear: “Dove, do you want to hide, or fight?”

I tensed; my body vehemently refused to obey me. I couldn’t control it. I couldn’t control anything that he made me feel. I almost whimpered as I felt his breath on my neck. As his bewitching scent hit my nostrils.

Yes.

A real demon who knew all my weaknesses very well and was now ready to use them against me. Slowly, one after the other. And at that time, I had no idea which alternative was worse.

To stay here with him?

In his arms?

Because it didn’t seem like he was planning to release me.

Or to face Colin?

I took a deep breath and then I made the biggest mistake I could have made.

I looked at him.

His eyes. There was something reflecting there, something that would have brought me on my knees if he hadn’t held me so tightly pinned to the wall. It must have been because of his gaze…, or his closeness, or his firm arms in which he held me like a defenseless child that I calmed myself down. Or maybe it was because of his warm breath still tingling my neck, or his scent surrounding me that I really stopped fighting. Or maybe I just wanted to be there with him at that moment. Even though I refused to admit it.

I simply became tame.

I slowly released his T-shirt from my grip and didn’t have the strength to move anymore. Or stop looking at him.

“What if she says no?” Colin’s voice distracted me from my dizziness. Willy-nilly, I turned my attention to the curtain, behind which I heard him speaking. And I thanked all my stars that he couldn’t see through it.

Of course!

They had to stop right there. Because why not, right? This was the best, absolutely perfect place for a long, a very long conversation after all.

I hated the Murphy´s law. And I hated even more that I wasn’t sure whether it really bothered me that I would stay in Eric’s arms for a little longer.

“Man!” Kyle sounded annoyed. “You’re asking me the same thing for about a thousandth time. Think about it! Is she worth it?”

I frowned. There was no doubt that they were talking about me, and I already knew that no matter what Colin would reply, I wouldn’t like it.

“Yeah,” he truly didn’t hesitate. “I’m in love with her.”

Well, I was right.

I didn’t like his answer at all.

I exhaled defeated. Damn, I guess I stopped thinking at all when I let my head drop and lean against the firm shoulder in front of me. I wanted to bang my forehead against the wall. I wanted to just keep banging until I see black.

But the second realization came right away. Yes, I realized what I did, whose shoulder I leaned on. I realized it at the moment when I felt his hand in my hair. I froze completely, I immediately pulled away from him.

This was all bad. Simply all totally bad.

Wasn´t it?

I mean…, maybe I should surrender to Colin. Maybe I would fall in love with him. Maybe he would help me forget.

I imagined him standing in front of me, smiling at me. I imagined him sitting next to me at lunch with his arm wrapped around me. I imagined him caressing my face, kissing me.

And…

There was nothing there.

There was nothing I felt.

Nothing.

But maybe he would be happy, at least. Maybe I should stop running from him. Maybe he could make me happy somehow too.

But then, there were those eyes.

The ones that were piercing me right now. And I could keep trying to ignore them howsoever I wanted, it still was impossible not to feel his intense gaze. As if there was some weird crazy power pulling me toward him.

I couldn’t help but look at him. And at that damn second, the world ceased to exist for me. There was only that small space left. Dim lights. I, pressed against the wall. He, pressed against me. My pounding heart and his breath.

He was the only boy I´d ever loved.

I could keep denying it how much I wanted, it was still true.

And out of the blue, I was overwhelmed with helplessness, I was seized by desire, I was dazed by passion. I was well aware of every part of his body that was touching me. Of his chest pinned against mine. He was breathing deeply, as if he knew what I was thinking about. As if he was thinking exactly the same thing. I saw him studying me as if searching. For what? I had no idea.

Fuck! I’d never been more sure before that I should run away from him.

I wanted to open my mouth and ask him to pull away, to leave me alone, not to look at me that unbearable way. Instead, I was just hypnotized. By the sparks that ignited in his irises, by the depth of their black color which he captured me in. By the way he could make my heart want to jump out of my chest and follow him. Only him.

I wasn’t capable of anything.

I wasn’t capable to stop him when he raised his hand. When his fingers gently touched my cheek. I couldn’t even breathe when he caressed my skin and cupped my face. I could barely endure the heat that nearly brought me to my knees as he ran his thumb through my lips. But my body betrayed me, and I shivered at his touch.

He saw it, I knew he saw my reaction. I recognized the flash in his eyes, I was perfectly aware of how his breathing accelerated.

Lara! Leave!

Colin´s gone!

Get out of here!

However…, it wasn’t my brain that I was listening to.

At that moment, at that second, I could only hear my heart - it was beating so loudly. I had to clench my fists as he dug his fingers in my hair. As he pulled me away from the wall.

And I obeyed him.

I completely melted under his touch.

He parted his lips. Maybe so he could breathe better. And maybe he did it to torture me, letting me feel the warmth of his breath on my face. I longed for him, dammit, I longed for him desperately. I craved to taste his lips again.

It couldn’t be stopped.

I could only close my eyes and perceive his closeness as he leaned his forehead against mine. As he didn’t stop breathing into my face. Too shallow to leave me cold, I suddenly went crazy. He was driving me crazy with the way his fingers stroked my hair. With the way he wrapped his other hand around my waist, not allowing me even to move.

And his lips touched mine.

He touched them gently, very gently, yet suddenly, my whole body tingled. It felt like a direct road to hell, and I was sure my heart would pay the fee.

I wanted to pull away, I wanted to stop him, but he didn’t let me. Instead, he pinned me against the wall again as he deepened the kiss. There was no longer tenderness in his movements. He pressed his lips to my mouth, taking them as if they had always belonged to him. He tasted my tongue, taking my breath away. And I just let him. I did let him to do with me whatever he wanted.

To say I could have done something about it?

Yeah, actually…

I did enjoy it.

I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him never to part from my lips anymore. I wanted him only.

He moaned into my mouth as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I simply needed to push myself even closer to him. It had been almost three weeks, three fucking weeks since he touched me, and I was literally dying to feel his hands on my body again. More than water, more than air, I desired him.

There was nothing I had under control anymore. There was nothing I wanted to control. There was absolutely nothing innocent about the way I felt right now. Not when his hands wandered down my back to grab my butt. And I didn’t hesitate to wrap my leg around him.

I capitulated, I succumbed, I gave up. I laid my lust at his feet. He forced me do so, he forced me to throw my restraints away, but...

My demon didn’t hold back either.

He sucked my lower lip into his mouth. He took a deep breath, as if he just received a dose of his drug. As if he just got everything he wanted. His hand in my hair easily made me tilt ​​as his tongue slid into my mouth again, as he deepened our connection. He was fondling with my lips and I just clutched his T-shirt again. Neither of us needed oxygen as much as we needed one another. At that moment, I couldn’t guess which of the two of us was losing the self-restrain more.

And I didn’t care.

I let him take it.

I let him take it all.

I didn’t want anything anymore, I just wanted to be his.

“Dammit, Dove,” he growled quietly as he gently bit my chin. He interrupted our touch for a second, allowing me to breathe in some air. But then it came. The third, the most bitter realization.

That the lips he kissed last time weren´t mine.

And I sighed heavily.

It was a problem to pull away from him. It was a fucking huge problem to make him step back as he didn’t want to let go of me. As I, myself, felt the urge to kiss him again. As he pierced me with his dark burning gaze. I saw he was studying every detail of my reaction. But I couldn’t care anymore.

I simply couldn’t.

Because I wasn’t the only one for him. And in an instant, the need to get out of there became unbearable.

Lara, girl! What the hell have you done?

“Don’t you dare to do it again!” I hissed as I grabbed my backpack and turned, pretty disoriented, to pull away the curtain so I could leave. “Never again!”

I wanted to run, I wanted to escape from him. I wanted to forget what had just happened. I wanted to never look back. But the quiet deep voice stopped me.

“You kissed me back.”

Four words, that one sentence he said to me and I froze. I completely froze as it dawned on me. He was right.

All the cursing that occurred to me, anything I intended to throw in his face disappeared at the moment I turned back to him.

His eyes shone, as if he understood something, as if he had come up with something. The sparks in his irises came to life again. And the corner of his mouth rose into a crooked smile.

“And you’re very welcome, Princess. I’m glad I helped save you,” he winked at me just before I saved my life and ran away.

**