SWNOVELS Fall of Snow: Chapter 69
I’m whisked out of the hospital ward the moment I open my eyes after my second surgery in as many weeks. Elijah is right beside me, his large hand enveloping one of mine as I return to consciousness and then all the way to the estate. If I didn’t know better, I would think I was in some old heist movie because Rayne is in the driver’s seat of the ambulance I’m loaded into, but somehow, it’s not the most pressing question I should be asking.
I’m too drowsy to argue about where we’re going, too sore and tired to wonder if he’s just going to drop me off again. He hasn’t said much, just that he doesn’t trust anyone in the hospital caring for me, and something about a team of nurses and doctors waiting for me at the estate.
I don’t know. The fog of painkillers and sedation is so thick I can barely open my eyes, let alone listen to what’s being said to me. I haven’t been brave enough to ask anyone about my injuries. What if my ability to have a baby has been taken from me completely? What if I’m unable to give Elijah an heir? That fear has had its fist around my throat from the moment he told me I’d lost an ovary, but as I consider the possibility that my chance to become a mother altogether may have been taken from me, that fist tightens impossibly.
“Stop thinking so hard, Snowflake. Do you need some more painkillers?” Elijah murmurs, his hand tightening around mine and bringing me a sense of calm.
I shake my head. I’m afraid if I speak, he’ll see right through me and see how much pain and turmoil I’m in. And the only way I’m going to be able to stop the merry-go-round of thoughts in my mind will be if they sedate me again.
He shakes his head and lets out a rough chuckle, leaning down until his face is only an inch from mine. “You forget that I’ve stalked you for ten years, Snow. I know all your tells.” His fingers brush the matted hair from my cheek as his eyes move over my face, frowning at the spot where my head throbs. “If you’re in pain, you need to take the medication. It’s not weakness to admit you need help.”
If I was capable of it right now, I would probably laugh, because in what universe has Elijah Russo ever asked for help? But I don’t have the energy, and right now nothing seems like it could be funny enough to drag a laugh from my tender throat.
Elijah sighs and presses a kiss to my forehead, his lips lingering there for long moments before he withdraws. “We’re almost at the estate.”
“Are you going to leave me again?” I ask before I can stop myself.
“Never.” He shakes his head. “If I can ever allow you out of my sight again, it will be a miracle, but you’ll never spend another night without me beside you.” The words do nothing to settle the uncertainty building in my chest.
I squeeze my eyes shut, willing myself to ask about my injuries, but as I open my mouth, the words on the tip of my tongue, the ambulance turns onto gravel, and I’m out of time. In less than a minute, we’ll be at the estate, and I’ll have lost my nerve to ask by the time we reach our destination.
Five days.
Five days since I arrived back at the estate.
Five days of Elijah monitoring my every movement.
Five days that I haven’t been brave enough to ask if my chance of having children has gone from fifty percent to zero.
And each day is longer than the last.
Each one of my family visits during the day, even Storm who has taken to working on his laptop at my bedside.
Despite how much time they spend with me, no one really speaks to me. Not about anything important at least. They ask how I’m feeling. Emerson tells me little anecdotes about the kids from the center, and Tommy has taken to talking to me about Frost Industries’ latest venture, an underground fighting ring he’ll be managing, but that’s about as substantial as conversations have gotten.
Elijah just hovers, constantly watching for signs of discomfort, but it’s driving me insane. I need someone to tell me what’s going on with Annalise. I need to know if we have any leads and what our plan is moving forward. I need to know how we’re going to get our revenge for what she’s done to this family.
I’ve never cared about being out of the loop, I even preferred it at times, but now it’s personal. She kidnapped us and set fire to a building with us inside, and I want my revenge. I want to make her pay for what she’s done. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and allow everyone else to do all the work and reap all the rewards.
But the way they’re all tiptoeing around me like they’re expecting me to break at any moment, I doubt anyone will even consider allowing me to help.
Elijah, the big bad Mafia king who enjoys ending other people’s lives the way normal people enjoy reading a book, pulls the pillow from behind me, fluffs it back up and then carefully sits me forward and places it at the perfect angle. I should be grateful, I know that, but I haven’t seen the man I fell in love with, the one who was so obsessed with me that he stalked me for ten years and stole me away from my family, in too long, and I need him back.
“Can you stop fussing?” I snap. “I had surgery, but I’m still able to take care of myself.”
His eyes snap to mine, and he opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. To be fair, I’ve barely said a word since he tried to put me in a hospital bed they’d set up in the living room, and I cried until they finally brought me up to my bedroom. I’m done with hospital beds, and something about seeing that one set up in a space that holds so many happy memories, it set me off.
“Why haven’t you told me what the doctors said?” I push the blankets from my lap and swing my legs over the edge of the bed, ignoring the pain that shoots through my abdomen.
“Snow,” Elijah growls, placing both hands on my shoulders to stop me from moving any further. “You’re going to hurt yourself.” He forces himself to sound calm, but he’s anything but. I’ve spent enough time watching him to know the tic in his jaw and the way he tightens his hands into fists over and over again the moment they lift from my shoulders are him barely holding on to his composure, and for some reason, I want to see him break. I want to watch him lose it.
It’s like playing with fire and hoping I get burned, the words come before I have a chance to think them through. “Like it matters. Annalise is going to take us all out anyway.”
The sound that breaks from Elijah’s throat is so far from human it’s almost as if there’s a wild animal in the room. His eyes flare with anger and I know I’ve got him exactly where I need him. I just have to push a little bit more and he’ll unleash the beast I crave.
“And hey, it will save you having to dump my body in the bottom of Lake Michigan when I can’t produce an heir.”
I barely get the words out before Elijah has me flat on the bed, his hard body pressing mine into the mattress. His weight settles over me, but somehow, he manages to keep it off my incisions so the only pain that flares to life is the dull ache between my legs. It’s been too long since he’s taken me. Elijah doesn’t do gentle, not when it comes to sex, and I can’t imagine he’s going to take any chances until a doctor has signed off on it.
“What the fuck are you playing at, Snowflake?” he snaps. His hot breath whispers across my cheek and I barely withhold a groan. “Hmm? Are you trying to bait me? Do you think if you’re bratty enough, I’ll snap?”
That’s exactly what I think will happen, and has already happened to a degree, but I don’t respond, instead choosing to look up at him innocently.
“I think that’s it.” He smirks. “But you have another thing coming, little Snowflake. You can push and push and push, but I’m not going to do anything that will risk your health or safety. Now, if you wanted to know what the doctors said, you should have just asked. And if I thought it was important, I would have told you the moment you woke. You had a lot of internal bleeding, but from what Doc and the doctors said it was very straightforward to fix, and you were out in half the time as when you were shot. There was no damage to any of your reproductive organs and you’ll make a full recovery in a few weeks.”
I let out the breath I didn’t realize I’ve been holding since I woke up five days ago. The invisible presence telling me that if I can’t have children, I’m not woman enough for a man like Elijah, disappears and I can finally fill my lungs with air.
Elijah’s lips tug into a faint smile as his fingers brush down my cheek. His eyes track the movement of his hand, committing each dip in my face to memory.
“If I have to tell you every day for the rest of our lives that there will never be a time that I’ll consider leaving you, much less ending your life, I’ll do it without hesitation. One of these days, you’re going to accept that I’m going to love you for every single second we have together, and there’s nothing in this universe that will change that. If we can’t have kids, we can adopt. If you don’t want to adopt, we don’t have to have kids at all. Everett is enough of a Russo that his kids could take over the family if something happened, especially now the two families are working together. Get it out of your head that my love and obsession are conditional, because they’re not. I will be just as obsessed with you on the day I die as I was the first time I saw you. Just because we’re married now doesn’t mean I won’t still stalk you. I want to know where you are and what you’re doing for every second of every minute of every day. I don’t care if you’re walking to the damn mailbox, I’ll need to know about it, because I don’t know how to live any other way.”
I open my mouth to respond, but before I can, his mouth descends on mine, his tongue frantically seeking entrance the moment our lips touch, and I’m more than happy to oblige.
Elijah groans into my mouth, his hips thrusting into mine of their own accord. I’m not sure he’s entirely aware of the motion his body is making, but that doesn’t matter to me. I tilt my hips up, ignoring the niggling pain in the hope of some release. If I can just—
Before I can finish my thought, a knock at the door tears Elijah from my body, his eyes flashing with guilt as he calls for whoever it is to come in.
My entire body is still on fire, the need pooling between my legs is so intense I think I might explode if I don’t get some relief soon.
Rayne appears in the doorway, his eyes darting around the room once before he says, “We need you in Storm’s office, Everett found a lead.”