SWNOVELS Fall of Snow: Chapter 59
Voices in the hallway carry through the house and pull me from my restless sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see a gun pointing in my face and immediately want to open them. But that’s not the worst of the nightmares.
Each time I close my eyes and my body relaxes enough to fall asleep, I dream of a future I could have had. Elijah running around with our kids while I’m sitting on the sidelines laughing at the big bad Mafia man playing so freely with his children. Somehow I know that’s the kind of dad he would be. I have nothing to base it on, especially seeing as he’s so ruthless in every part of his life, why wouldn’t he approach parenthood the same way? But I know he would be soft and kind, and I’m sure one day he’ll find a woman who can give him that.
I roll over to face the window and tug a pillow over my head. The house has been deathly quiet for days. No one is brave enough to make a sound that might frighten me because they think Elijah will lose it, but I doubt that’s the case. He’s just counting down the days until I’m well enough to send back to the estate. He hasn’t touched me since we’ve been home. Each night he sleeps in the armchair beside the bed, saying he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt me in my sleep. But I see right through his farce.
A gentle hand runs up my bare arm, and I pretend to be asleep. I don’t want to deal with whatever they’ve come in here for, so maybe if they believe I’m getting some much-needed sleep, they’ll leave me alone. But my hopes are taken away a moment later when the pillow is gently lifted from my head.
“Snow?” Elijah says softly.
“Go away,” I murmur, attempting to turn away from him, but his hand comes out to rest on my shoulder, holding me so I can’t escape.
He chuckles quietly. “I need you to get up, Snowflake. Storm and Everett are here, I need you to go back to the estate with them where you’ll be safe.”
I force my eyes open and meet the forest green of his eyes. He isn’t looking at me like he’s about to break my heart and stomp on it, but then again, he doesn’t know I love him either. I’ve never been able to work up the nerve to tell him. Partly because I don’t think he’s capable of such an emotion, and partly because I’m scared he’ll reject me.
“What?”
“There’s been a threat made against you, and Storm and I think you would be safer at the estate. Mrs. Chambers is packing your things. Is there anything in particular you’re going to need?”
Tears spring to my eyes as I look up at him. I thought I had more time. I thought he would at least wait a few weeks before he sent me back, but that’s not really his style. Why not rip the band-aid off while the gaping wound is still fresh?
“It’s okay, Snow.” He gives me a small smile, kneeling at the edge of the bed so we’re at eye level. “It’s just until the threat has passed.”
“Why can’t I stay here if it’s just a threat?” I ask quietly.
“Because Storm and I don’t trust my men. At least at the estate, it’s an iron fortress even without guards.”
“You broke in,” I remind him.
“You’re right, I did. But Everett was telling me about the upgrades they’ve done, and I don’t know anyone stupid enough to go up against them.”
I squeeze my eyes closed to push the tears back. I can’t cry. I can’t fall apart. After all, what else did I expect when I fell in love with a monster? His lack of regard for human life, for my life, should surprise me, but it doesn’t. This is who he is, and I knew that before I walked down the aisle and became his wife.
“It’s not forever, Snow,” he tells me gently, but I can read between the lines.
I don’t need to hear the words to understand what this means. Sure, it’s not forever right now, but it will be. With a little time away from me, he’ll decide this is for the best. He’ll realize a wife who can’t bear heirs is useless, and then the divorce papers will arrive. I’ve read enough books and watched enough TV to know exactly how this goes.
I nod once and push myself up from the mattress. I almost can’t bear the idea that this is the last time I’ll sleep in this bed, surrounded by the scent of Elijah even when his warmth isn’t near. But I can’t allow myself to focus on that right now. I have to focus on putting one foot in front of the other without falling apart. I’ll do that when I’m safely back in my bedroom at the estate, and he can’t see just how much he’s broken me.
Elijah reaches out to help me stand, but I flinch away. Him touching me could break my resolve, it could be what opens the floodgates and allows the tears I’m barely swallowing down to burst from me. His face drops as his hand does.
The sadness in his eyes hurts my heart more than the poor battered organ already does. Even as he breaks me, I can’t bear the thought that he’s sad. Isn’t it funny what love does to us? It builds us up to the highest of highs, just to drop us the moment we reach the top. I was an idiot to think Elijah Russo could give me happiness. As soon as I let my guard down, I lost everything, and I didn’t even know it at the time.
My legs shake beneath me, but I force myself to stay standing, taking careful steps toward the bedroom door. I catalog everything to memory. The furniture, the scent, the bed where Elijah took me for the first time. Everything about the room goes into the memory bank, because this is the last time I’ll ever be here.
I take measured steps down the hallway, trying not to think too hard about the times I’ve had within these walls. I try not to think about the man I killed in this hallway, or the way I allowed Elijah to tie me up and fuck me with a gun in his office. I don’t think about how I planned the wedding that was destroyed or felt true happiness for the first time in my life. And I certainly don’t think about how I healed here. Little by little, the shattered pieces of my heart melded back together, just for it to be destroyed again.
I meet Storm’s gaze at the end of the hallway, concern tugging at his brows. I’m surprised he’s going along with this, but I guess this is what he always wanted. He wanted Elijah and me to fail, he didn’t want to be tied to the Russo’s for the rest of his life, and now he won’t have to be.
I barely spare the dead body in the middle of the floor a glance before slipping on my boots by the door and carefully pulling my coat around my shoulders. “Let’s go,” I say softly, giving Mrs. Chambers a kind smile as I reach for the doorknob. I think aside from Elijah, I’ll miss her most about this house. The kindness she showed me in those early days, the way she went out of her way to make me smile, to make me feel at home.
Everett steps in front of me as the door opens, his eyes surveying the empty street before wrapping his arm around my shoulder and guiding me toward a black SUV.
As I take each step away from Elijah, a new crack in my heart appears.