SWNOVELS Failure to Match: Chapter 39
The box kept sliding out of my grip, and I kept having to shove it back up with my knee.
I hadn’t realized just how much random stuff I’d acquired over the last few years; plus all the clothes and daily necessities I’d kept in my desk for when we’d had to work through the night for that one pain-in-the-ass client.
I’d texted Jackson after talking to Vivian, letting him know I’d quit. He’d responded with a single heart emoji, neglecting to mention that he was still outside of the building, waiting for me. The second I made it through the glass doors, the box was out of my hands.
“What’re you still doing here?” I thought he’d left like five hours ago.
“We weren’t done talking.” He handed the box off to Mikey then turned to me again. “You okay?”
“Think so. You?” It couldn’t have been easy for him, deciding to give up his job and everything he’d worked so hard to build. All for someone else.
All for me.
The crippling guilt would set in right after my heart stopped fluttering with pure joy. His slow, knowing grin wasn’t helping. Neither was the fact that, somehow, we were holding hands again.
“I’m great. Come on.”
He tugged me toward the town car and slipped in after me. I was straddling his lap before Mikey had shut the door. Not by choice.
“Jackson!” A blush crept up my neck. He couldn’t have waited another two seconds before grabbing me?
“I lasted that entire meeting without you on my lap. I only have so much self-control.” His gaze darkened when it reached my mouth. “The partition’s up, it’s soundproof, and Mikey’s been instructed to leave the car as soon as we’re in the garage. He won’t be opening the door.”
My body was already melting into him, the air growing thick. “Could you have made it any more obvious?” I chided lightly.
“I don’t care. I fucking missed you. It’s been unbearable.” He swallowed as his hands circled my waist, pulling me closer. “What did you do to me?”
My palms slid up his chest, settling on his shoulders as I gently pressed my forehead to his. “I missed you, too.”
His breath hitched. “Yeah?”
“So much.”
“Is this what it’s supposed to feel like? Because I swear I can’t fucking breathe anymore. I can’t think, I can’t… I’m barely functioning.”
I pressed a gentle, smiling kiss on the corner of his mouth. “It’s supposed to get easier… so I hear.”
“No wonder Richard went mad with it.”
And on that note. “Jackson… we need to talk about the shares.”
“I already tried. She won’t budge.”
I licked my lips. “That’s not what I’m… I did say I’d marry you if you didn’t find someone you liked.”
“As a friend,” he retorted unhappily. “Living separate lives and getting our needs met elsewhere.”
“In my defense, those were your original conditions.”
“They were never meant for you.”
I took a deep breath, the knot in my stomach growing jittery and restless. “Okay, so let’s say, hypothetically, that we were starting over and laying out fresh terms for the agreement. If that were the case, what would your new conditions be?”
He studied me for a few silent moments. Then, “Are you sure you want to know? You’re going to hate them.”
My blood was rushing, my fingers bunching over the collar of his shirt with anticipation. “Start with the nonnegotiable ones.”
“They’re all nonnegotiable.”
Maybe if I wasn’t somewhat distracted by the thick, raging hard-on pressed against my stomach, I would’ve argued instead of just nodding.
“To start, there would be no paperwork, no predetermined end date, and no contractual restrictions on our relationship as husband and wife.” He grazed a pair of knuckles over my cheekbone and my lashes fluttered. “You would be my wife, Jamie. In every way that matters, not just on paper. You would be mine, and I would be yours. I’m not willing to share.”
The flutter in my chest had spread, a good portion of it settling between my legs. I shifted on his lap, reveling in the low, tortured growl the friction earned me. “What else?”
He released a breath through his nose and laid his head back. “You’d get your own staff. Driver, maids, the works.” I frowned, but before I could respond, he said, “I’m not done. If we get married, I want all the privileges that come with having you as my wife, and that includes spoiling you rotten, darling.” His mouth twitched. “Even if it is against your will.”
“I don’t—”
“Before you finish that thought, just know that your incessant resistance to letting me financially take care of you is what got us into this mess in the first place. It’s bordering on becoming a fetish for me, Jamie. I wasn’t joking when I said I’ve started fantasizing about buying you diamonds, tying you up, and fucking you until you’re too incoherent to argue with me about it.”
“That’s… like the third time you’ve mentioned that.”
“Because I can’t stop thinking about it. I want to do it so fucking badly.”
My whole lower half had melted to sizzling goo. “Just as long as you know it’s not your money I’m after.”
“You’ve made that abundantly clear. But if you’ve got my ring on your finger, the gifts are nonnegotiable.” His fingers dug into my waist hard enough to leave marks (one could only hope). “Speaking of kinks, I think it’s important that you know exactly what you’ll be getting yourself into with me as your husband, because my self-control is currently hanging by a fucking thread, if that. I’m not sure I can keep holding back.”
I’m sorry. “That whole week was you holding back?”
“You know what’s worse?” His hand circled my throat and my panties all but melted. “All of these new depravities of mine are just for you. You broke me, Jamie, and I think it’s only fair you pay the price for it, don’t you?”
My breathing was becoming increasingly shallow. I would’ve given anything for him to squeeze his fingers, just a little. Just to make it clear that I was at his full mercy.
“I need you to be a little more specific than that.”
He pulled me closer, using the grip he had on my neck. I shivered when he nipped at my bottom lip with his teeth. “You can’t have a clit that pretty and expect your husband not to worship it every night, darling. Even if it means making you come until it hurts.” He kissed me with deceptive softness. “But you already knew that. There’s one particular kink that’s new, and it’s so much worse than the rest. It’s truly depraved, and all because you haven’t been allowing me to take care of you properly after I’m done fucking you.”
I almost laughed when it clicked. “Aftercare is your new kink?”
A smile tugged at his deliciously plush mouth. “You’ve done me so dirty with that, Jamie. I’ve started to fucking fantasize about giving you another bath. I’ve been getting off on the idea of showering you with affection without you telling me ‘no.’ It’s sickening. The aftercare isn’t up for debate anymore.”
I huffed a laugh, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Anything else?”
His gaze melted as his palm slid to the back of my neck. “I meant what I said on the voicemail… you’re my best friend.”
Oh god. My heart.
“Yeah?” My cheeks were going to fall off, I was smiling so wide.
He was grinning right back. “Is that sad?”
“No. Not even a little.”
“Good. I want the friendship thing to stay.”
I clicked my tongue, teasing. “Friends don’t torture each other’s private parts, Mr. Sinclair. They play much nicer than that.”
He chuckled. “If you’ve got any nonnegotiables, you should probably say them now. I’m taking you upstairs the second we’re home and you won’t be able to pry my mouth from your pussy until I’ve had my fill. It’s been a long fucking week.”
I squirmed on his lap. “I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it yet, but the dirty talk really does it for me.”
His smirk turned a touch dark. “Eating you out is what does it for me. It’s at the top of my kink list.”
“You have no idea how hot that is,” I breathed. Or maybe he did. Maybe he knew exactly what he was doing to me.
“Tell me your conditions. I need the distraction.”
There was one topic we needed to discuss that would sober us right up.
“Kids,” I said. “We need to talk about that whole thing.”
Sure enough, the heat in Jackson’s eyes went out with a blink. It was replaced with uncertainty.
I cleared my throat. “Obviously, your aunt wants to secure an heir… but that’s a massive decision, and I need a lot—and I mean a lot—of time to think about it. And I can’t promise anything right now one way or the other.”
He didn’t hesitate. “Okay. That’s more than fair.”
I released a breath. “Really?”
“Really. If you decide to do this with me, we can talk about it in a year or two… see how we both feel about it.”
He said it with firm, unwavering confidence. Like there was no doubt in his mind that we’d still be together, just like this, in a year or two.
“But what if Minerva—”
“Jamie.” He tipped my chin until I didn’t have a choice but to meet his gaze. “It’s you, or it’s no one. We can talk about the rest whenever you’re ready, but I’ll never push you to have a child if it’s not something you want. I don’t care what Minerva decides to threaten me with next. Fuck her. Fuck the company. Fuck the shares. It’s me and you, okay? We’re in this together.”
Relief washed over me. I sighed. “We would make a pretty good team.”
His grin was devastating. “Best friends for liiife,” he teased in a shocking, sing-songy voice. Like a dork. And when I was done giggling over it, he murmured, “I love you, Jamie.”
The man was dead set on sending me straight to an early grave, I swear.
“I love you, too,” I whispered back.
His breath hitched, the smile falling off his face. “Yeah?”
“Hell yeah.”
“You’re the full way there?”
“I’m the full way there.”
This time when he kissed me, he didn’t stop. Not until we’d arrived at the penthouse, he’d kicked his bedroom door shut, and my half-naked body was splayed out on his bed.
And the only reason he stopped was to make good on all the threats he’d made about what he’d do with his tongue if I were his wife. Every. single. One.