Chapter Stay afloat
Abigail hadn’t slept properly ever since her conversation with her parents.
She’s now sure that part of their money is funding this lab that Rachel seeks. No additional proof needed.
The man she killed also keeps popping up on her nightmares, making it harder to rest.
The urges to manipulate her emotional state keep creeping in. You don’t need it.She takes it out on the gym, on the shooting range. Anything that keeps her occupied and tired enough. But nothing seems to work. Whenever she lies in bed, she just ends up waking up a few hours after.
Day after day, she heads to the Institute. She’s there physically, but her mind is elsewhere. She’s on autopilot mode. Smiles whenever needed, making small talk, teaching her students, and making them feel safer than she feels.
She keeps looking over her shoulder. Asking herself if her colleagues, the ones she has for years now, some she knows since they were students, were also part of it.
Her only moments of peace throughout her workday are when she can have lunch with Aminu. She couldn’t trust anyone, but him. She knew in her heart that he wouldn’t have anything to do with it.
Emily hasn’t joined in a while and keeps being busy. Probably with the marketing department, Jade, or both.
Later that day, she and Emily meet and sit quietly for a while in Abigail’s room.
“I haven’t slept properly since you brought her over.”
“I’m sorry. I thought you deserved to know the truth about what she saw in there.”
“Wish I didn’t...”
“I know what you mean. Part of me feels the same. That it would be better to unsee everything that happened. I’d sleep better. Eat. But we’d live a lie...”
Abigail sits closer to her.
“I’m going to join them.”
“Who, Abigail?”
“The terrorists.”
“What?!” Emily stands up immediately.
“Yes, I’ve thought about it thoroughly, and it is my best shot. Right now, I trust them more than anyone else. Your parents are part of this, Emily. And mine, I don’t even want to consider it. I’m scared all the time and can’t keep it any longer.”
“And the solution is to leave your perfect life and become an enemy of the world?”
“The solution is making my own decisions. I’ll try to convince Rachel to let me join them on my terms. I have nothing to lose.”
“You have everything to lose! You are a Parker!”
Emily meets Jade on a park near her house. The girl has a towel in the grass and lies down while updating her socials.
“We need to talk.”
“Shoot.” She puts her phone down.
“I think what happened at the Institute was an inside job-”
Jade stops her and turns off both their phones before telling her to keep going.
“They weren’t deviants, and the Institute either organized it or at least closed its eyes.”
“So what?” Jade’s facial expression is the same as being told about the weather forecast.
“What do you mean ‘so what’?” Emily’s eyebrows raise.
“It probably was, Emily. Made up threats are a known technique. Rachel Moore is the big bad wolf with her gigantic army!” Jade mocks, “but we witnessed her saving you, so it turns out, is a whole new group that is threatening our peace.”
Jade holds Emily’s hands and looks at her with a condescending look.
“There will always be a new group, and there will always be some Rachel Moore. The war ended, but as long as we exist, there’ll always be these plays on the backstage that we blissfully ignore.”
“Jade, my father is probably involved on this...”
“Yes, of course. Your, mine, Abigail’s. It’s easier to guess who isn’t.”
“And we’re supposed to just what... accept it?”
“We’re supposed to do everything that we can to stay on the top. Stay afloat. And we can. Madeleine gave us that opportunity, Emily. Even after they, whoever they are, thought that your death could be useful. Now, you have a purpose again.”
“I don’t want anyone else to define my purpose!”
“Emily,” she takes a deep breath and exhales loudly, “isn’t our life comfortable? I feel sorry for people like Rachel Moore. I really do. Fighting for a side that has already lost and won’t admit it. Things will never be different. Aren’t the bracelets a blessing in a way? At least we won’t have any more side effects. By the way...”
Emily refuses to face her.
“There’s something that I needed to tell you. I’ve decided to have a child. It’s time.”
“Okay...” Emily taps her fingers on the towel. “I wish we’d talked about this, but sure, I want kids too. Maybe we can adopt or if you want to experience pregnancy, we can find a donor and do it.”
“Emily, I have already chosen and it won’t be a donor. It’s easier if we just do it and get it over with, without going through the treatments. He’s a friend, I can trust him, and it will be just that. To have the baby.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Emily’s eyes widen.
“It won’t mean anything.”
Emily stands up and refuses to look at her.
I am done.
“Emily, please, just let me explain. This doesn’t have to mean anything...”
“I am done...” She leaves.
Later that day, it’s close to midnight. People stroll through the river. Abigail sits and waits. Rachel wearing a red wig sits next to her.
“Why am I here, Parker? I doubt that it’s because you missed me.”
“I can’t do it anymore. The pretending, the mistrust.”
“I’m sorry to hear,” Rachel drops the sarcasm.
“You could... abduct me...”
“Abduction usually only works if the person isn’t aware of it,” she laughs but quickly stops when she notices Abigail’s face. Properly notices it, how paler she is and the dark circles under her eyes.
“I want to join your movement-”
“... but?”
“You said it yourself. It’s a death sentence, Rachel.”
“It is.”
“I can’t just broadcast it to the world, but I can’t deal with this anymore. I’ve talked to Emily about it, not sure if she’ll join too. It’s not like you’d get a worse reputation for abducting me.”
“It’s always possible to worsen our reputation. We’re a peaceful movement, after all. If we decide to go forward with this, and Emily doesn’t join, we’ll have to wipe the memory of your conversation. I’ll talk to the others about it. Keep your expectations low.”
A robber takes an older couple’s wallet. Abigail and Rachel see it happen. The couple screams for help. A tree branch grows in the sidewalk when the robber runs by, making him trip and giving other people the opportunity to grab him and call the police. The couple thanks all the bystanders for the help. Abigail looks at Rachel and smiles.
Rachel asks everyone to meet. One by one they get to the basement, sit down by the computers.
“What do you think?” She asks after thoroughly explaining Abigail’s proposal.
“Well, I think it would be okay with our followers,” Diego tells them while looking at Ánh.
“What about the peaceful part of our peaceful movement? I thought that was an issue not that long ago,” Alex’s sweat drips. All the extra room they’d take on an already crowded house.
“Emily Roberts decided to come too,” Ánh reads out loud the message she received from Abigail.
“Interesting,” Alex laughs.
“That would be quite the hit on their side,” Diego smiles.
Megan has nothing to say about it and mostly watches everyone else present their arguments.
Rachel decides that only a unanimous vote would make it to go ahead, and considering Ánh’s relationship with Abigail, she had to sit this one out.
After a few more minutes of discussion, they reach their decision and all leave but Rachel and Ánh.
“Are you sure you’re okay with Emily coming?” Rachel asks. “It’s okay if you don’t want her here, after everything that she put you through growing up.”
“I want to believe that she’s changed. That she isn’t the same girl I met.... and even if she hasn’t, Rach,” Ánh smiles, “I used to fear her when we were teens... She was so powerful! She was everything I wasn’t!” An looks away for a bit, “then when I started hanging out more and more with her, because of Abigail and Aminu, I kept envying her. She wasn’t that bad to me anymore, but still kept a distance... this act of superiority. Always with the most powerful deviant thing. But now... all that I feel when I think about her is pity.... How empty she must feel to need to drag everyone to her comfortable hole.”
Rachel grabs Ánh’s hands and smiles.
“When I had the connection with her, I felt so much loneliness coming from her... but that doesn’t excuse how she treated you, Ánh. We are responsible for how we act because of our pain.”
“No, obviously. It doesn’t, Rach, but explains it a bit. As it turns out... at least that’s how I see it. Everything she has shown and done has been only a way to protect herself. Like I said, now I just feel sorry for her.”