Extracts from The Diaries of 'Professor' Cornelius Crane

When a person loses a limb, say an arm or a leg. There is a strange, and not too uncommon, phenomenon that occurs wherein the afflicted person experiences pain or an itch in the missing appendage; truly an itch that can’t be scratched. In fact, in medical terms, it is referred to as a phantom limb.

I have the equivalent of such an appendage; and it has a most insatiable itch.

I was a heavy smoker; a twenties-pack-a-day-man before the transference. I also indulged myself rather often with a fresh, hand-rolled, Cuban cigar. It was a vice that I thoroughly relished!

My young body has never partaken of tobacco in any form, and to all intents and purposes should not have the cravings of a person that has been indulging in that habit for over 35 years.

And yet, the smell of my father’s pipe is enough to drive me insane.

Thank God I wasn’t an alcoholic in my previous life! Having two cravings would be unbearable!

I can only hope, and expect that the desire will decrease as I become accustomed to my new body.

It may be because my eyes are young and healthy again, but back here in the sixties, the sky seems bluer, the grass seems greener and the night sky much clearer.

One thing is for certain though, the Rusky’s have never been redder.

Yep, the cold war is back to the frozen stage!!!