Chapter 455
Chapter 0455
"Harper?" his voice calls me.
"Oh, sorry, I got lost in thought for a moment." I shake my head to clear my mind. "Yes, I'm done packing."
"Good, let's go then."
An hour later, we were seated in Gabriel's private jet. This time though, I was accompanying him to sign a business deal.
"Everything okay? Do you need anything? I can get the hostess to bring you whatever you want." Gabriel says the moment his jet starts taking off
See what I meant? He's very attentive.
Back when we were married, he wasn't. I don't think Gabriel ever did anything to make me happy. In fact, it was the opposite. He never cared about my needs or wants. He never cared if I was comfortable or not. He never cared if I was alive or not. He simply never cared about me.
Things are different now, though, and that's why I'm having a hard time. It's like he's my genie and my wish is his command.
"No, I'm okay. If I need something I'll let the hostess know," I mumble.
Nodding his head, he then pulls out his laptop.
I lean back against the plush leather chair and settle more comfortably. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to drive myself crazy with questions I had no answer to.
It's not that I hate him, I don't. I forgave him a long time ago. The thing is, despite this, I still remember. My heart still remembers the pain. It takes a lot of energy to hate someone, that's why, around a year after being divorced, I let go of the bitterness. I didn't want it to taint me.
I also didn't want to feel the pain. I didn't want to remember the heartache, so I tried burying all of them. I tried numbing myself. Lilly was an exact replica of her father. That was hard enough without me holding on to what he did to me.
Slowly by slowly, I started to think less of him. I got so used to pushing away thoughts of him and the pain that I became numb. For a long time, he didn't exist in my world. Not until he showed up on my doorstep.
He started to unravel the façade I plastered on. He started to destroy the walls I had around myself. With that, came the resurgence of the feelings I had tried to bury long ago.
Like I said, I don't hate Gabriel. I don't think I ever could. My hesitancy comes from the remnants of the pain he caused me. The echoes of the hurt he inflicted. The phantoms of a long-ago pain. Phantoms that wam me to tread carefully.
I shake my head and look outside. Damn it, I needed to get a grip, but I feel myself drowning in him the more time we spend together.
I turn back and study his profile, only to find him staring at me, his laptop off.
"Have you ever been in love?" I ask out of the blue.
I don't know why, but it's something I've always wondered about.
Something flashes in his eyes, but it's gone before I can read. He closes his laptop, but lets it stay on his lap. Then he gets more comfortable before facing me.
"Nobody knows this, but yes," he says in a weak, deep voice.
Well, that was news to me. In my head, I always assumed that he'd never been in love. For as long as I can remember, Gabriel was a playboy. Always had different women every time. He even said in an interview once that he'd never allow himself to be tied to only one woman. It's surprising to know he's been in love before.
"Really?" I turn fully to him, eager to hear about the woman that managed to catch Gabriel's heart.
"Yeah. It was before we got married, in my second year of university. She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and I remember thinking that I had to have her. It was what women love to call 'love at first sight. I'd never really felt anything like that before, never gotten in a relationship and never pursued any girl before. She made me want to change that. She made me want to settle and commit to her. With her, sex wasn't even a priority, I just wanted her."
A pang hits me straight to the heart. I feel jealous and a little hurt and I hate that. I hate that this girl, whoever she is, got Gabriel in a way I never did being his wife.
"She combined everything I liked in a woman. Sexy, smart, beautiful, and funny. With her, I could be free. I could let go and just be myself. We started out as friends and around four months later I finally convinced her to give me a chance and take her on a date. The day she agreed was the happiest. I couldn't believe that I'd landed such an amazing girl."