Every Little Breath: Then – Chapter 5
Eight Months Later
The Steven Noakes case dominated the headlines for several weeks. Three bodies were found buried behind the property Steve Noakes had been fixing up and a further two in the woods on the family property. Noakes had pleaded ‘not guilty’, meaning Casey and his one surviving victim, Amanda Haines, were both forced to testify.
Casey had been dreading the trial, terrified of facing Steve and Gareth in court. She was an important part of the prosecution’s case though, and a lot was weighing on her evidence.
She hadn’t seen any of the Noakes family since the incident at Natasha’s. Gareth had tried to seek her out again, but with family constantly around her, he hadn’t dared approach her.
As the summer holidays came to an end she returned to university, though found it difficult to concentrate on her studies following everything that had happened. The period after Christmas was even worse, knowing that the trial was looming. Eventually she returned home on a cold March day, the time finally arriving when she had to sit down in the packed courtroom and tell everyone what she had seen.
Steve Noakes’s eyes never left her the entire time, his expression impassive. Casey tried not to look at him, but it wasn’t easy. And it was harder still to face Julie, Gareth and Ethan, who all sat in the row behind him. Julie cried the entire time while Ethan’s face was drained of colour. Meanwhile Gareth, like his father, watched her throughout and she was aware of the anger rolling off him.
She tried to focus on her parents and her brothers, all of whom were there for support. Her best friend, Zoe O’Farrell, was there too, and she recognised PC Murphy seated towards the back of the courtroom, along with some of his colleagues, who she assumed had worked on the case. It seemed they all wanted to watch justice be served. She didn’t want to let them down.
Although she had tried not to read too much press coverage, it had been difficult to avoid, and she knew the names of the victims, had shuddered when she had learnt about the torture that had been inflicted on them before Steve had killed them.
The questions weren’t easy, and reliving the nightmare of that day was particularly tough. During the cross-examination it felt like she was personally under attack. She had been warned this would happen, had tried to prepare herself, but it still came as a shock. She stuck to the truth, did her best to stay calm and to the point as she answered.
Eventually the ordeal was over. Part of her was relieved, but still she was anxious as the case drew to an end and the jury retired to deliberate.
Casey wasn’t there for the verdict, had no desire to ever step inside a courtroom ever again. She was at home with her family when the call came on Friday 1 April to say that Steven Henry Noakes had been found guilty on five counts of murder. Her mother hugged her, delighted at the news, announcing she would be cooking something special for dinner.
They were reacting to the news that a sadistic serial killer had been convicted of murder. While justice had been served and Steve Noakes wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone else, Casey wasn’t quite sure that it was something to celebrate.
She was numb throughout dinner, picking at her food, a little unsure how she was supposed to be feeling, relieved when Zoe showed up half an hour after they had finished eating to drag her to the pub. It was a Friday and, while she wasn’t up for a big night out, friends and alcohol were definitely needed. With Easter fast approaching she wouldn’t be returning to university for another couple of weeks.
They headed into the city, going to one of their favourite pubs, The Murderers, and while Casey found a table, tucked away in a quiet corner, her friend went to the bar for a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses.
The first glass went down quickly, but she really needed it, and while the pub began to fill, the chatter and the jukebox providing a welcome distraction, she updated Zoe on everything as they continued to top up their glasses.
They had only spoken by text since Casey’s evidence and Zoe had a lot of questions. While it helped to talk, she was relieved when they finally moved off the subject.
By the time the bottle was empty, Casey’s head was buzzing comfortably and she was feeling more relaxed than she had done in weeks. Leaving Zoe at the table, she took the empty bottle to the bar to get another one. She had just paid and was turning to go back to the table, when a loud voice caught her attention.
‘Well if it isn’t Casey Fallon, our star witness. Hey, Finn. Look who’s here.’
Her head jerked in the direction of the man who had spoken. She didn’t recognise him, was momentarily panicked as she wondered how he knew who she was. Should she react or ignore him?
But then she saw he was one of a group at the bar, spotted PC Murphy at the same time he glanced up and made eye contact. Recognising her, his lips curved into a smile and he nodded, and tiny sparks of heat flittered in Casey’s stomach, catching her by surprise.
She had never thought of him that way, but then she had never seen him in a non-stressful situation or out of uniform. Although he had been in court a couple of weeks ago, she hadn’t had the opportunity to speak with him, and the last time they had been this close was when Gareth had her trapped in the bathroom at Natasha’s house.
She remembered thinking of him as kind and caring, but, of course, he had just been doing his job. And he had nice eyes, blue eyes, and they were focused on her right now.
He looked good out of uniform. Tall and rangy, dark hair and pale skin, his T-shirt hanging off broad shoulders. In his casual clothing, she was reminded of his age, knew that he couldn’t be more than two or three years older than her. If the circumstances in which they met had been different, if she had first seen him in a bar, she would have definitely sneaked a second look.
‘Casey?’ He stepped forward, the smile widening to reveal a crooked eye tooth. ‘I didn’t expect to bump into you.’
She hadn’t expected to see him here either and was secretly pleased that he seemed happy to see her. ‘It’s been pretty intense waiting for the verdict. I needed to get out of the house, blow off some steam.’
‘You were brilliant on the stand. Your evidence definitely helped convict him.’
She blushed a little at that. He genuinely seemed impressed. ‘I tried my best.’
‘Are you going to drink all of that wine yourself?’
That was from the bald guy who had first called out her name. He was older than Murphy, probably closer to her dad’s age.
‘No, I’m with my friend.’ She glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the table hidden behind the jukebox, where Zoe was waiting for her and probably wondering where she had got to. Casey needed to get back to her.
‘We should get her over. What’s her name?’
‘Zoe. But we can’t–’
‘Hey, Zoe? Casey’s friend?’ The guy had already disappeared, heading in the direction of the table.
Murphy waggled his eyebrows at her, smiling as he shook his head. ‘That’s Pete. He doesn’t know how to take no for an answer.’ He glanced at the other men in his group. ‘And this is Deano, Johnny and Chris.’
Casey studied them as hellos were exchanged. She recognised Johnny as the officer who had been with Murphy that day at Natasha’s house. The other two were older.
‘There you are. I thought you’d got lost.’
Zoe came sauntering over, empty wine glasses in her hands, with Pete behind her, her eyes flitting from Casey to Murphy, looking intrigued, then down to the bottle of wine in Casey’s hand, a crafty smile on her face. ‘I didn’t realise you were flirting.’
‘I’m not flirting!’ Casey spluttered, heat colouring her cheeks. ‘This is–’
‘Hush, I’m teasing.’ Zoe’s smile widened to a grin, as she set the glasses down on the bar so Casey could fill them. ‘I know who they are. Pete here told me. Hello, Casey’s police pals. I’m her best friend, Zoe.’
She did a little bow, her ridiculously short skirt rising, and Casey knew she would be loving this. Zoe revelled in attention. She had always been the louder of the two, the flirt, the outrageous one, the pretty girl who men gravitated towards with her skyscraper legs, perfect skin, and the throaty laugh that seemed to suck them in.
Casey didn’t mind, was happy to take a back seat as she sipped her wine and watched her friend do her thing, but still she was ridiculously pleased when Murphy sought her out, leaning back against the bar next to her, seeming to prefer her company, as he watched Zoe charm his colleagues.
‘She has a lot of confidence,’ he commented, watching her snatch Johnny’s beer bottle, stealing a swig.
Johnny didn’t seem to mind, laughing out loud when Zoe then leaned forward, whispering something into his ear.
‘She’s a theatre student, loves being centre of attention. She wants to be an actress.’ And she probably would achieve her dream. Zoe was nothing if not determined. It helped that she also had shedloads of talent and was as pretty as Beyoncé.
‘And what about you? What do you want to do when you’ve finished uni?’
He turned slightly towards her, so he was giving her his full attention.
Was he flirting with her or just making polite conversation? She had been with Gareth since she was fifteen, had limited practice when it came to flirting with guys in pubs. Hell, Gareth hadn’t even liked her going out without him, kicking off whenever she had a night out with Zoe.
Going to university had been a relief, a break from the pressure. There she had learnt to be Casey, not part of Gareth and Casey, and yes, she had flirted a little, but nothing too much because, stifled as she was, Gareth was still her boyfriend, and she wouldn’t do that to him.
Now Gareth was out of the picture and she had a cute copper hitting on her. Okay, maybe not hitting on her, but he was definitely showing her some interest. She was certain it wasn’t just the wine convincing her of that.
She turned so she was mirroring his pose, took another sip of her drink. ‘I’m not sure yet. I’m studying media, so possibly television or radio production.’ When he nodded at that, she quickly added, ‘What about you? Did you always know you wanted to join the police?’
‘Yeah, pretty much.’
Murphy looked like he was about to elaborate, when Deano interrupted, holding up his empty pint glass.
‘I’m getting another round in. Casey, can I buy you a drink?’
‘Thank you, but I still have my wine.’
‘Finn? How about you? Another beer?’
‘I’ll take a Coke.’ At Deano’s screwed-up nose, Murphy elaborated. ‘I’m driving.’
Finn. Casey had only known him as Murphy, hadn’t even considered that he had a first name. It was a little different, but it suited him. She liked it.
‘Is that Irish?’
‘Sorry?’
‘Your name. Finn?’
‘Didn’t Murphy give it away?’ He was grinning again. ‘My dad is Irish. What about you? Casey and Fallon are both Gaelic names, right?’
‘I think I might be an eighth Irish, my great-granddad was from Belfast, but with a lot of other stuff thrown in too.’
‘Is that so?’
‘I know there’s some Spanish and some French on my mum’s side.’
‘That’ll count for the dark eyes.’ Which he was currently looking at intently.
It was a myth. Her mother actually had green eyes. But she didn’t tell him that.
‘There’s definitely some Norfolk in there somewhere too,’ she told him instead.
‘Yeah, I got that from the accent.’
Casey’s mouth dropped open. ‘I do not have a bloody Norfolk accent.’
His grin widened at that and she smiled back, realising he was teasing her.
Well, maybe she had a slight one, but nothing that noticeable. Not like Gareth, who was Norfolk through and through, as were Steve and Julie. Casey had always liked their accent. It seemed warm, inviting, familiar. But not anymore, not since…
Her expression must have changed because Murphy was still looking at her, but now with a slight frown on his face. ‘You okay?’
She nodded, wasn’t going to tell him what was on her mind, but he was a police officer and had been involved on the Noakes case. He would understand.
‘I can’t stop thinking about it. I know it happened last summer, but walking into that basement, seeing her… it’s as clear as if it happened five minutes ago. Does the bad stuff you see ever go away?’
He studied her, eyes narrowing slightly, and at first she wasn’t sure if he was even going to answer. He was off duty, wouldn’t want to talk about work stuff. She got that.
Eventually, though, he did speak.
‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘I’ve only been on the force for a couple of years and this is the biggest case I have been involved in, so honestly, I really don’t know, Casey. I’m still trying to figure that out myself. I hope so.’
Casey nodded, neither of them saying anything for a moment as they looked at each other and, it sounded stupid, but she felt a connection with him. Knew that he understood.
‘We did a good thing,’ he eventually continued. ‘We played a part in putting a bad person away. That will help me sleep at night.’
He was right, they had, and she was about to tell him that when Zoe interrupted, her tone excited.
‘We’re going to head down to Mercy. Johnny can get us in for free.’
Casey’s heart sunk. Getting out to the pub had been a good thing, but Zoe knew that nightclubs weren’t her thing, especially not tonight. She was happy in the pub and talking to Murphy.
‘I’m not really up for a big night out, Zoe.’
‘Oh, come on. You’ll love it once we’re in there.’
That was Zoe’s argument every time and Casey usually went along with her, each time regretting it.
‘Are you coming, Finn?’ That was from Johnny.
Murphy shook his head. ‘I’m heading home in a bit. I’m on earlies tomorrow.’
‘Lightweight.’
Zoe grabbed hold of Casey’s hand. ‘Come on, you have to come. It will be fun. Please!’
Casey really didn’t want to go, even less so now she knew Murphy wouldn’t be there.
‘I’m sorry, I’ve already had too much to drink and I’m knackered after today.’ She glanced at Johnny and his colleagues. They were coppers and friends of Murphy’s. Zoe would be safe with them. ‘You go. I’m gonna get a taxi home.’
While Zoe pouted, Murphy considered.
‘I can give you a lift.’
When both Casey and Zoe looked at him in surprise, he shrugged. ‘I have my car parked just round the corner and it makes sense if we’re both leaving.’
‘I don’t want to put you out of your way.’
‘You won’t be.’
Zoe’s expression turned sly as she watched the exchange and she shot Casey a not particularly discreet wink. ‘I guess if you really don’t fancy coming clubbing then you should take Finn here up on his offer of a lift.’
Casey blushed furiously, glad the lighting was dim in the pub. ‘Well… as long as you don’t mind.’
‘I don’t.’
‘Then thank you.’
They actually ended up staying for another hour after the others left, finishing up their drinks (well, mostly Casey finishing up the wine. Finn, had long drained his glass of Coke), and chatting, about the case, but also learning more about each other.
He was easy to talk to, asking her questions and seeming genuinely interested in what she had to say, and Casey was comfortable with him, was reminded of the kindness he had shown her when her world had unravelled.
When he eventually looked at his watch, told her they needed to go, he seemed reluctant.
As they walked towards where his car was parked, Casey stumbled on the cobbles (too much wine) and he caught her, his arm staying around her for the remainder of the way.
She liked how it felt, remembered briefly how he had held her in the bathroom on Stafford Street. He made her feel safe, and something else.
It was more than she had felt with Gareth. She had met him in a pub when she was too young to be in there, attracted by the fact he was older and seemed a little bit more dangerous than the boys her own age. That excitement had died quickly, though, and they had ended up staying together out of habit. This was different. This was something new.
And when Finn removed his arm as they reached his car, she missed it.
She wanted him to touch her again, was already hating that the night was almost over and he would soon be gone, but at the same time she was anticipating, knowing that the time had yet to come when they would say goodnight. Would he ask to see her again? Would he kiss her?
These were the questions scrambling her drink-addled brain as they neared her family home.
She had only ever kissed Gareth. What would it be like to kiss someone else?
The alcohol was hazing her brain, relaxing her, but also confusing her thought pattern. Part of her wondered if she was too drunk for this, the other part couldn’t wait to lock lips with him.
Finn had done most of the talking, Casey growing quieter as she realised she was slurring her words. She was drunk enough that she couldn’t help it, but still sober enough to be embarrassed.
As the car pulled to a halt outside her house, Finn killed the engine, turning to face her.
This was it, he was going to kiss her, and she really wanted him to.
‘Do you want me to help you to the front door? You’ve had quite a bit to drink.’
‘I can manage.’
Casey looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to lean in.
He hesitated. ‘Okay then. Well, it was nice to see you again. Goodnight.’
‘Yeah, goodnight.’
There was a pause as they both looked at each other. When he didn’t make a move, Casey thought fuck it and plunged forward, locking her lips against his.
For a moment he didn’t react, though when she didn’t back off, his mouth finally yielded and he started kissing her back, his fingers snaking through her hair as he cupped her face in his hands. He was so different to Gareth, gentle at first, but then she felt the heat behind the kiss as it became more intense, and she actually moaned against his mouth.
That was the moment when he broke away, almost jumping back in his seat, eyes wide, appearing horrified at what had just happened.
‘We can’t do this.’
‘What?’ Casey didn’t understand, was still reeling from the kiss, could feel where his lips had bruised against hers. ‘Why not?’
‘I’m a police officer. I worked on your case.’
‘But it’s over.’
‘I’m not sure my bosses would buy that excuse.’ He looked at the dashboard, seeming uncomfortable, and she sensed there was more.
‘Is it just the case?’
Despite her mentally willing him to, he refused to look up.
‘I have a girlfriend.’
Fuck. She hadn’t seen that coming and for a moment she wasn’t sure how to react. Why hadn’t he told her this earlier? He had led her on.
‘You were flirting with me.’
‘I was being friendly. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.’
‘You kissed me back.’
Now he did look up at her, his blue eyes apologetic. ‘And I shouldn’t have done. I’m sorry.’
He was sorry? Casey was mortified. She saw pity in his eyes, and regret, and wished to hell she had never bumped into him tonight.
‘I have to go.’
She pushed open the door, stumbled out onto the pavement.
Finn opened the door, started to move around the car.
‘Don’t. Stay away from me.’ When he didn’t move, she hissed at him. ‘Just go!’
She drunkenly staggered up the driveway, trying to keep her head held high, tears of embarrassment pricking at her eyes and heat burning her cheeks, aware that he was watching her. Fishing in her bag for her key, she jammed it in the lock, sticking her finger up behind her as she pushed open the door.
Fuck PC Finn Murphy. She never wanted to see him again.
In his car parked across the street, Gareth Noakes slunk down in the driver’s seat, watched the exchange, anger and bitterness making him blind with rage.
She had kissed him.
Earlier today, his father had been found guilty on five counts of murder thanks to Casey and her reaction to that was to go out drinking, no doubt celebrating, and then make out with one of the police officers who had dealt with the case.
Gareth knew who he was, had seen him in the courtroom, but he also remembered him from that day at Casey’s aunt’s house. Just what the hell was he playing at, laying down the law, then pawing at his girlfriend, sticking his tongue down her throat? They were taking the piss out of him and he wouldn’t tolerate it.
Gareth had been parked outside Casey’s house for the last couple of hours, hoping he might see her so he could find out why she had hurt him, find out why she had turned against his family. He had expected her to be inside, not out partying with the copper who had helped to put his father away.
Watching Casey disappear up the driveway, the cop getting back into his car, Gareth tightened his grip on the steering wheel, the anger building, clouding any rational thoughts.
He would deal with Casey later. Right now the cop was leaving and he wanted to know where he lived.
Gareth waited until he had started the engine and had pulled away from the kerb before swinging his own car around, following at a safe distance. There weren’t many other cars on the road, so it was easy not to lose sight of him as he tracked him across the city and out towards the suburb of Hellesdon, turning into a quiet road that led to a small block of flats.
He switched off the headlights, stayed in his car, until the cop disappeared inside, saw lights turn on a couple of minutes later in a second-floor window, then he got out, went to the small parking area and found the black Golf the cop had been driving.
Gareth retrieved his pocket knife, used it to slash all four tyres, then carved the bodywork along the driver side door.
That would do, for tonight.
Holding on to his anger he returned to his car, but instead of driving home, he headed back across the city, heading out to Stoke Holy Cross again and Casey’s house.
He had taught the cop a lesson, now it was time to start his revenge campaign against his bitch of a girlfriend.