Even Angels Fall (Book 3)

“My honorable Tymician.” She throws my face away. She waves her hand and her light strikes out, cutting my chains. My face lands against her black heel and I push myself away on shaking skinny arms. I have lost so much weight I feel foreign in this body.

Lilith steps back standing strong on her thick legs, her short black dress ending high upon her thigh. She squats down in front of me and pokes a finger under my chin, lifting my head. “Have you missed me?” She plays with her tongue, grinning.

“Not one moment.” I snap, yanking violently from her and collapsing back against the wall. I pull my chains in my lap and flex my hands. They seem like a stranger’s appendages, boney and frail. There is dirt under each fingernail and they are broken and torn, yellow and tarnished. I am only convinced they are mine because of the freckle I have upon my index finger. I touch it to make sure it isn’t dust.

“Don’t act like that, sweetheart.” She murmurs on pouty lips.

“In case you’ve forgotten, Lilith. I remember our last conversation vividly.” I lean my head back relaxing with a smile on my face. “Shall I repeat it for you?” The memory is a pleasant one. It had been a winning moment for me because for a thousand years after she has kept her distance from me.

I feel the weight of her Light. It’s a disgusting fact that now, Lilith is stronger than me. My pride won’t allow it to show and provokingly I sarcastically inquire. “No?”

The pressure dies.

She’s realized it. My humiliation sinks beyond any thus far. Lilith is the weaker one. Ever since I was an Elder, she’s been the weaker breed. It matters little that she’s God’s daughter. She’s imperfect. I’ve been stronger. I’ve been better.

Oh, Lucius. How can I forgive you?

“You want to know what I remember?” She kneels down before me, spreading her legs to slip a hand between them, riding up beneath the silk of her dress, “You fucking--”

“What the fuck do you want?”

She bursts laughing jumping up to her feet and clapping her hands as if it’s a great big show I’m putting on. I have already reached my limits, I’ve run out of patience, and I doubt very much I could hold myself back from attacking if she pushes me any further. Lilith loves to push me to my breaking point but rarely in the many lifetimes that I have known her has she been able to do it. She will relish this moment.

I have to stop this. I can’t let her win. I am still who I am. Lucius can’t take that away from me and neither can she. I stare at the freckle upon my finger, keeping myself visually in my mind.

“Oh Tymician, forgive me, my love.” She teasingly continues. “You’re vulnerable and weak and I am being just a terrible wretch, aren’t I.” She lowers herself and runs her fingers in my tattered hair. “How are you holding up? My brother is being plain stubborn. I’ve tried talking to him.” She falters at my chuckle.

“He hates you far worse than me, darling.”

Her slap is expected and she stomps herself away. She paces now, her tattered black wings flayed and broken hang useless behind her and her heels click repeatedly against the stone floor.

It takes her no time however to change her tactics from physical to mental. A smirk rises on her lips as she catches my eye. “I have news.” I keep an impassive face. “I found Ariel.” My body stiffens and Lilith giggles lovingly. “Did I tell you she was dead? I’m sorry I must have--”

I fly at her, she stumbles over herself trying to get away and we both slam into the wall with my hands clenched around her throat. The chains clink against one another and my breath comes in wild groans as I squeeze her skin with all my might. For a moment we are both lost in the action. Lilith, wildly and fearful struggles against me. But soon, she realizes that my strength isn’t anywhere near her. I can’t even strangle her. Her mouth drops open in a big freakish laugh.

I fall against her. The adrenaline that it took to attack drained me of all my reserves. I feel my body tremble and with my lips so close to her ear she quiets and stiffens drastically. “You stay away from her.” I whisper. I collapse, unable to support myself any longer, gasping for air that doesn’t seem to be coming. “How could I have ever loved you?” I clench my eyes shut balling my fists into my sockets.

“You loved me?” She questions outraged, stepping around me. “When? I must have missed it.” She mocks and kicks at my chains. “What does a Fallen know of love anyway?”

“I thought all you needed was someone to believe in you. I thought all you needed was someone to love you. I tried to give you that. I tried to ignore everything and what everyone was saying. And I thought for a moment, I was right.” I lift up and catch her eyes. “But I was wrong. You are Nature. In every essence of her and you don’t deserve anything but what you have.”

Lilith snatches up my chains. “You’re a bastard, Tymician. You think that I didn’t know about your mission.” I drop my gaze. She scoffs with a bitter smile. “Oh. You didn’t, did you? Lucius told you to get close to me to find Nature. That was why you first started talking to me.”

“And I regret it every day of my fucking life. You’re a miserable piece of shit, Lilith. And you should be alone.”

“Guess who’s alone now, Tymician.” She yanks me across the ground to set up the connection again. The strain against my arms is painful and I clench my teeth to keep from crying out. She struts to the exit and leans against the doorway. “I’ve been assigned to search for Kyla by the way.” Panic strikes me and I lift my gaze to her. She grins. “Not by Lucius.”

Who else is there?

“It’s the Sins that want her.”

“Lilith you can’t.” Panic envelopes me, “They’ll destroy everything. Hell. Heaven, Earth. Nothing will remain.”

“Maybe that’s the way I want it.” She nods. “God should pay.” She whispered, tears shining so brightly in her eyes. This is what made me believe that there is something in her that deserves to be saved.

“It wasn’t you She was denying, Lilith. It was Nature.” It was a well-worn subject that she has never been able to get past.

“God has never fixed any of the wrongs She has done. Me. The Nephilim. And it’s time She pays for them.” She slams the door and I scream out her name but she’s gone and there’s nothing that I can do from my cell.

“Lilith you can’t!” I scream, pulling against the chains. I feel them dig into my skin and I push my legs back against the wall, trying to break them, “Lilith!” My voice echoes in the prison and my desperation sounds in my ears. “You owe me!” The chains twist and I’m helpless as I swing with them screaming her name. I kick and writhe, rocking my body, “Lilith!”

So quickly, my energy depletes and my body drags. I heave for breath hanging there staring at the floor, not even bothering to pray. I know she won’t come back.

Lilith has an ability to find anyone on Earth but in order for that to apply they must be touching the Earth. Grass or dirt. She loses them if they go in a building or get into cars or onto airplanes. It’s basically inevitable that she will find Kyla.

When the Sins have her, will I feel it? Will the ground beneath my feet begin to crumble? Will the world start to fall apart? Will I even be alive by then?

“Is someone there?” My head lifts. “Oh, Hell, Tymician!” His voice echoes and the door rattles as he struggles with it.

My eyes are blurry from my lack of energy. “Who’s there?”

“It’s Dion.”

I choke in relief and if tears could come they would. To find a friend in the darkest pits of Hell is enough to save my Soul. It’s my Light that I have been searching for. I didn’t know how much I needed help until this moment. God has sent me help. Even here, where I thought He could not go, God is still watching. I could not love Her more. “Thank God. Please. Get me out of here.” I beg with a constricted throat.

I feel the beginning of Dion’s Light begin to push down as he strengthens himself to break the lock upon the door. I keep my lips tight to handle it. More and more he struggles with the stone. He has to be stronger than Lilith. Lilith is weaker than a normal creature considering her creation is flawed. She had gotten in here without a noise and without being felt.

My teeth clench and my cheeks tighten as the pressure becomes too much, I want to scream but I want to get out more than anything. “Please hurry!” I holler. Make it fast like a Band-Aid. I can handle it. I’ve been through worse. I have had my organs ripped from me. I can handle this!

Lilith could have manipulated the stone. She didn’t need power.

I scream out and hate myself for it because the moment I make a sound, Dion discontinues his assault upon the door. I pant and heave for air to quell the agony but the crushing of my bones isn’t easy to comfort.

I hear Dion through the small square in the door. “I’ll return, Ty, with Lucius. He’ll be able to get you out. He’ll destroy Lilith for this. I knew she was up to something.”

I shake my head. The simple act sends throbbing aches down my spine. “No. No Dion. I need you….” I gasp for breath. “I need you to do something for me.”

“Let me get Lucius. He’s missed you, Ty. We all have.”

My eyes close and my brows knit in a form of dry tears. “He’s the one, Dion. Lucius.”

The silence is my only response. It’s a hard fact to accept. The one man you’ve trusted your whole existence torturing you to death. It’s hard to understand but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will die here. But I will not die for nothing. I will die protecting Kyla. That is why God has sent Dion. To pass on my will.

“Find Kyla.” I get out. “Protect her. Lucius nor the Sins can have her. Do you understand?”

Another moment before I could feel his power again, “I’m not leaving you.” He’s resolute in his decision and continues once more in his effort to open the door. Using little of his Light and most of his physical strength, he attempts to break the lock again.

I’ve lost that hope. I want only for him to do what needs to be done. I can feel the weight of his Soul and it’s too painful. I don’t want pain anymore. I want freedom.

“Enough.” I whispered softly at first. Dion has always been a noble friend. I can’t fault him for trying. I wouldn’t leave him behind either. We have known each other for far too long. I am one of the few that understand him. As he is one of the few that understands me. To lose that is a prodigious loss that I wouldn’t know how to handle. I am asking him to manage that. It doesn’t seem fair but it’s the way it has to be.

“Dion, enough. Lucius will feel you.” He cuts off his power then. He knows I’m right. I find his eyes through the bar and I smile for him. “Will you do that?”

“Why? Why is everyone after her? Isis? Felix? Lucius? What is so great about her?”

I give a weak, tired laugh, dropping my head with no strength to support it anymore. “You’ll see. When you meet her, you’ll see. She’s the future, Dion. She’s what we’ve been waiting for.” I wish I could see it happen. I wish I could be there and watch Kyla become who she is meant to be. So many times in our travels, I would find myself staring at her wondering what she was. I knew ever since the beginning that she would change my life. I kept close by waiting for the moment. I didn’t know what the moment was or what to be looking for but I knew it would happen and she would be at the center of it.

“And I’m supposed to just leave you now? Like I haven’t found you?” The idea is vile on his lips.

“Yes.”

His hand smashes against the door, “How am I supposed to do that? My losses have been enough, Tymician! I have lost too many!”

“I know.” I force what little strength I can to catch his gaze again. I never had children. I have never been fortunate enough and yet thankfully I have never lost children either. “But you have a world to save, Dion.”

“I can get help.”

I shake my head. “Lucius won’t kill me.” I had been so sure of that in the beginning. Now being so close to death, I know how wrong I am. “I need you to save Kyla.”

Dion will do what I ask. He cannot deny a will of a dying man. He stays to bring me comfort, to try to bring hope to my fading pile. I am trying to be strong willed but I am sure it is showing how weak and pathetic I am. I wonder if he can see how frail my Light is.

There is more I want to say. There are so many I need to apologize to and so many words left I wish to say but if I do that, he’d never leave. I need Kyla safe or I cannot depart this world.

“I will find her. Do you know where she is?” I shake my head, unable to divulge any information.

“She is in the hands of an Angel, Alexander. Desna. Find Desna.”

“Desna won’t reveal herself to me. How do I contact this Angel?”

“I know it’s not enough. But it’s all I know.”

“I will find her and put her in a safe house. Then I’ll come for you. Rebellions are already in effect against Lucius and his selfish war. You should be our king. All the times you fought for him but Lucius is too far gone to be saved.”

If Lucius is damaged it’s because we didn’t help him. Its our fault just as much as his. He is still in there somewhere. I know he is.

I nod my head. It’s something to look forward to but it’s something that will never take place. I will allow Dion to have his disillusion as long as it will make him walk up those steps and far away from me.

“Go.” I tell him. He’s lingering. It’s humorous how stubborn he is. “Go on.” I laugh at him. “Don’t be a baby.”

“Tsk.” He growls but I meet his eyes through the bars and he nods his head just once. His last goodbye and I smile and bow my head to say mine. I hear his footsteps fade and wait until he’s gone to drop my head.

My rescuer is gone and I am alone. I will die here and no one will ever know. Dion will keep it secret for the rest of his life out of respect for me. I thank him for that. I don’t want anyone to know how I died. I want them only to remember how I lived. I hope I did a good job. I think in some areas I could have done better. I was a bit bitter about Soul Mates. I laugh to myself about it. I didn’t give the best advice when it came to that topic. Toward the end, I recall saying some uncharacteristic things. It’s hard to stay true to yourself when you can no longer feel. I regret that.

I should have helped more with Eric. I could have saved him if I tried. I know I could have. He felt too self-conscious about his scars. If I had paid attention better I would have helped him cope with that. I wonder if Felix senses it.

Felix is a great kid. He’ll be a great leader but I know I didn’t train him well enough. The clan is a game. He has learned what every piece does and has memorized every rule there is to know, but I never taught him how to cheat and swindle, how to lie and coerce. He doesn’t even know that those that he considers friends are enemies. It was a lesson I wasn’t ready to teach him. He is still just a child. Now he is surrounded by foes. I wonder if he has taken his place in Kio or if some random Elder has taken the helm. It will only depress me to name off all of the Fallen that have been searching for my demise for centuries.

I let it go. I let it all go. There is no point now. I have to surrender it all and hope for the best. I have done all I can for the Fallen. There are those that will do all they can to make sure Abida and Hamiliton do not win the day. I will put trust in that.

I close my eyes and for the first time in thousands of years I pray. I thank God for everything that She has given me. All the friends and family that I have had. I am thankful for all of it. I left Her because I needed to. I don’t regret it. I wish it hadn’t hurt Her and I apologize for the pain I caused. I wanted more than anything to protect Her and I hope in some ways I have. I hope She sees that.

Lastly, Ariel. Wherever she is, I hope someone holds her as she feels me slip away. She will not take the news well no matter how brave and strong she appears. She is truly afraid and timid of everything around her.

I feel Lucius descend. My time here is almost up. But I don’t waste my time thinking about him. I hold Ariel’s face before me and I think upon the day I first met my Soul Mate and her domineering, monstrous husband.