Chapter 32
The Awakening
The sound of a siren pulled me out of unconsciousness.
It was the sound of a single buzzer, like a kitchen timer but much, much louder. My eyes blinked open, the world colored red.
No – not red. There was a light overhead. A lightbulb was out.
I tried twisting around to see what where the red light was coming from, but my hands slipped out from under me. My eyes widened as I saw a thick slime slip through my fingers and onto the hard floor beneath me.
Hooking my fingers into the floor’s tile, I spun myself so I was facing towards the red light. Instead, I gazed up at a large glass tank, with a blinking red light flashing on top of it. The tank’s doors were opened, a sea of translucent tubes snaking out of it. I looked down my naked body and saw those same tubes protruding out of my skin, and screamed.
Epilogue
My head throbbed as my brain drummed against my skull. Every small movement sent bolts of pain into my spine and neck, and when I scrunched my eyebrows, I felt something like dried blood flake off my forehead. The sunlight was too bright – it hurt my eyes even when I tried to shut them. I lifted my hands to try and feel for a wound, only to find my arms unable to move. My eyes opened, straining to adjust to the harsh light around me. It was then I realized I wasn’t outside. Far from it.
I looked down at the thick metal bars that confined me to a chair, and I let out a soft gasp when I noticed how pale my skin looked, unblemished and perfect. It was as though any trace of the sun had been leaked from my body and had erased every scar and freckle that I had acquired. I had been bleached, scraped clean, and I felt as though I was inhabiting an unknown body.
My eyes traveled from my chained arms to the thin hospital gown that barely covered my knees, the metallic floor that was turning my toes purple, until I settled my gaze across the room. A man sat against the adjacent wall; his eyes cast down at the clip board in his hands. I would have thought he was asleep if I hadn’t seen his fat fingers scribbling something down onto his paper. It was the only sound that echoed through the room.
I cleared my throat, only to create a noise akin to a huff. The man didn’t look up. I felt a kindling of flames begin to grow at the bottom of my belly, making the blonde hairs on my arms stand up on end. Swallowing the lump of spit that had formed in the back of my throat, I cleared my throat again. Only this time, it was loud enough to draw the man’s attention.
He glanced up at me, the glare of his glasses so bright I had to look away. The glare disappeared as he folded them gingerly and tucked them into his shirt pocket. The man stood up and smiled at me, or at least tried to. His eyes were too squinted, the muscles in his cheeks strained with effort, and his lips were pulled back into what looked like a sneer. It was well-timed smile, one that looked practiced, rehearsed.
“Good morning!” the man said, his voice coming out as a wisp of a breath. As he walked closer towards me, I noticed the faint limp in his right leg – making his walk seem more like a waddle than anything else. His eyes were too small for his head and his hair was a thin band of hair that hugged his neck and ears. I jerked when he set the clipboard onto a clear plastic table, not realizing there was another piece of furniture right in front of me.
It was like my mind was wrapped in a heavy bedsheet. Thin enough to see through, but I was blind to almost everything around me.
“My name is Doctor Malone, and I will be asking you some questions today.” The man said, pulling out another chair before sitting down in front of me. He spent a moment buttoning up his lab coat from the top down, in only what I could guess was an effort to look more professional. His pudgy fingers were successful until they encountered the large ball of fat that hung off his stomach. I shuffled awkwardly in my seat as I waited for him to finish buttoning his coat, trying not to stare at the button right above his navel that looked like it was going to shoot out and stab me in the eye at any moment.
A whirling of a motor caught my attention. In one of the far corners of the room stood a large metal box with a dark lens attached to it, a red lightbulb blinking methodically on top of it. A video camera?
“There we are,” the man said, and pulled his chair closer to the table. He clicked his pen and began to write words that I couldn’t see onto the paper. “now, can you tell me what your name is?”
“What did you do to me?” I said, ignoring his question.
The man reached into his coat pocket and unfolded his glasses, placing them on the bridge of his nose as he peered over at me with enlarged bug eyes. “I’m afraid I’m the only one here who’s allowed to ask the questions, dear. So, can you tell me your name?”
A burning sensation traveled from my stomach and into my chest. “Where am I?” I asked him again, trying to keep my lips from curling back into a sneer.
The man gave me another smile, the muscles in his face twitching with the effort. His head tilted towards the camera behind him, his eyes returning to me this time with a dark gleam in them.
“I won’t ask you again,” he said, his voice a low monotone, “tell me your name.”
“My name?” I said, holding back a hysteric laugh. Why isn’t he telling me anything? Don’t I deserve some answers too? I’m pretty sure I just got spit out of a fish tank an hour ago. “First name is Suck, middle name is My, and last name is Ass.”
I expected Dr. Malone to glare or yell at me in response. Being difficult was my specialty, and it never failed to get a rise out of someone. With Dr. Malone, though, he gave me a blank look at my response. His eyes turned back towards where the camera was in the corner, his jaw twitched as he thought for a moment, then turned back to me. Whatever the camera was for, it must be important.
“Alrighty then,” Dr. Malone says, putting down his pen. “I believe we are what is called an impasse. Are you familiar with the term?”
“I’m familiar with how to shove a –“
“A simple yes or no will suffice.”
I grumbled, grinding my teeth before biting out a “Yes.”
“Well, then,” Dr. Malone says, “this is how we will continue. I am willing to answer one of your questions if you answer mine, a question for a question you might say.” He peels his lips back into his odd smile.
I swallow another lump of spit that had formed in the back of my throat, stole another glance down at the doctor’s straining button, and nodded my head.
“Wonderful!” he says, but the pitch he uses sounds off. He was putting on a show, I realized as I looked over at the camera. Whoever was watching must want a show. “Ladies first.” He says, folding his hands together on the table.
“Where am I?” I said, hopefully for the last time. Dr. Malone gives me a forced chuckle.
“I cannot give you our specific location, but I can reassure you that you are in a secured facility where all of our personnel are highly trained and qualified for working with people like you.” He says and picks up his pen to make a quick note on his chart.
“People like me? What kind of facility –“
“I’m sorry dear, but I thought I made the rules clear. I ask a question; you ask a question. They’re very easy to understand and I don’t want to have to keep repeating myself, so if we are to keep playing you must pay attention.” Dr. Malone folds his hands back together again and the growing urge to kick him in the mouth is becoming overwhelming.
Dr. Malone waits another moment to make sure I don’t speak again, before smiling and moving onto the first question that I know he’s going to ask.
“Can you tell me your full name?”
“Eleanor Rose Carter. But I go by Nor.”
“Thank you, Eleanor.” The doctor says, ignoring my last comment. I withheld the temptation to say something snarky about his hard-at-work coat buttons. “Can you tell me the last thing you remember?”
The heat in my belly and chest fizzled out, leaving a tight pressure behind it. I picked through my mind trying to piece together the last moments that I could remember. Jax’s face swam through my vision, his brown eyes haunting me. The pool of blood that soaked into the grass, his lips whispering my name over and over again until he stopped breathing altogether.
I had been so preoccupied with figuring out where I was that I had forgotten about him. I could still hear his laugh ringing in my ears, and I can still see the deep golden oceans of his eyes, the way they glowed in the sunlight. With his memory returned the pain, spiraling through me as everything came rushing back. The deep ache cast itself like a web into my skin, covering me entirely. Jax was gone – really gone.
“Eleanor?”
“I remember the world falling apart around me.”
“Falling apart?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Can you please elaborate?”
“I could, but it’s my turn to ask a question. Or did you already forget the rules, Dr. Malone?” I said, making his mouth snap shut. I smiled at him, ignoring the pain that was gliding from my head to my chest and finally settling into my stomach. Grief had to wait.
I leaned forward in my chair, my heart thudding dully in my chest. I looked between Dr. Malone and his clipboard, then back again. A wild thought crossed my mind, and images of the glass tank, the tubes stuck into my arms, the air bubbles that floated around me as I swam in a strange thick water flickered through my head. Then the loud siren blaring above me as the room turned red, my body curled up against the cold glass floor. All thoughts of Jax had vanished within an instant, replaced by a cold sense of dread. The metal bars that touched my wrists and ankles were suddenly too painful to touch, their once normal chill a now unforgiving frostbite.
“Was any of this real?” I asked him. Dr. Malone didn’t smile at me, but the corner of his lips turned upwards in approval. He didn’t need to answer my question – I already knew the answer.
“Unfortunately for you, it was not.” He said.
I drew in a deep breath and let it out, willing the shaking in my hands to stop. A feeling of numbness spread across my skin. It grew increasingly difficult to breathe as a lump formed in the back of my throat. Silence dominated the room, the red light on the camera blinking slowly at me in the corner of my eye.
Dr. Malone leaned forward, placing the clipboard on the table. He looked almost interested as he stared at me. I focused my gaze on my clasped hands that rested on my lap, unable to meet his eyes.
“Do you know what year it is?” Dr. Malone said.
“It’s 2049,” I said, but the words didn’t feel right inside my mouth.
“No,” Dr. Malone said, “it’s the year 2129. The world you experienced occurred nearly eighty years ago.”
“The world I experienced?” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t understand what you’re telling me.”
Dr. Malone stood up, his chair scraping the floor behind him. He turned towards the camera again before walking around the table and standing behind me. The soft pattering of his shoes echoed off the walls. For a moment I wondered if whether or not he was putting on some sort of show.
“The day that man first became human,” he began, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I knew there was a long, drawn out explanation beginning prepared just for me. “there has always been a desire to live forever. To cheat death, if you will. Since the dawn of our creation there were rumors of mystical waters or plants that would bestow the gift of immortality, but these, as you know, were stories. Tales to tell children, you see.”
I nodded my head, pushing down the rising impatience bubbling in my chest. It was never a simple answer with Dr. Malone.
“Our ancestors believed that immortality could only be achieved through religion, or through magic. How surprised they would be if they had known that eternal life was hidden underneath the small lens of a microscope.” Dr. Malone said. I felt my blood chill at his words, a dark feeling swelling at the bottom of my stomach.
I waited for Dr. Malone to continue, but he paused yet again to pass a glance at the camera in the corner.
“Are you nervous, Dr. Malone?” I said, “It seems like you’re putting on a show for somebody, like a puppet on strings.”
Dr. Malone shot me a blank look, his eyes trying to convey his distaste. He opened his mouth as though he were about to say something, but his eyes darted to where the camera was behind him and he thought better of it.
“What they found at the bottom of that microscope,” Dr. Malone said, continuing his dance across the room. “cured death. However, the cure did not come without some… minor, side effects.”
“Get on with it,” I said, grinding my teeth. “I’m tired and it looks like the buttons on your lab coat are about to give out in any minute.”
“They called it the Pluto Vaccine,” Dr. Malone said, ignoring my comment entirely. “it’s contents altered the very structure of the DNA sequence, allowing cells to regenerate faster than they mutate. The process had unexpected effects on the chemistry of the brain.” Dr. Malone paused in front of the clear plastic table, looking down at me through his bushy eyebrows as he smoothed the fabric of his lab coat. His hand paused slightly as they passed over each of his buttons, making sure they were all still in place. “The Pluto Vaccine disabled the neocortex and amygdala sectors, severely inhibiting neuro response.”
“Try that sentence again in English.” I said, feeling a headache beginning to form.
Dr. Malone set his clipboard onto the table as he leaned slightly towards me, his large shadow sweeping over me.
“Do you know what a psychopath is, Eleanor?” Dr. Malone said.
I said nothing, knowing fully well that he was going to give me his own personal definition no matter what I said.
“One who experiences psychopathic tendencies are unable to feel emotions, unable to express or understand empathy.” continued Dr. Malone, “And above all else, have extreme temptations to cause harm to those around them. Imagine it, Eleanor. The ability to live forever and do whatever you wish without your humanity to keep you in check.”
“It sounds like a cold life to live.” I said.
“Not cold,” said Dr. Malone, “but free.”
I laughed then, the sound slipping out of me before I could stop it. Dr. Malone gave me a stern look, his fingers tapping against the surface of his clipboard as he considered me from across the table. He reclaimed his seat, the ear-splitting sound of his chair scrapping against the floor made me wince.
“We lived in secret at first.” Said Dr. Malone. “Satisfying our intense urges discreetly. Only targeting those who wouldn’t be missed – the homeless, orphaned, or elderly. Kept our secret passions out of the public eye, ensuring that no one would discover how much the Pluto Vaccine effected our psyche.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, still giggling, “you’re telling me that this vaccine caused people to go insane, so they started killing people? I get that you’re trying to be dramatic and make a good show for whoever is watching right now, but you’re just talking out of your ass.”
Dr. Malone slammed his hands down on the table, silencing my laughter. I glared over at him, my fear and adrenaline swirling together in a nauseous mixture in my stomach. My hands balled into fists on my lap as my legs tensed. There was no way I could defend myself tied down. If Dr. Malone was suddenly overcome with the desire to hurt me, there was little I could do to stop him.
“Listen closely, Eleanor. This is the world that you currently reside in, and the ones responsible for placing you in your Simulator are watching right now.” He said. I looked over his shoulder at the camera, the red light blinking lazily back at me. My suspicions had been right – Dr. Malone was putting on a show for somebody, and that somebody happened to be the very reason I was here in the first place.
“In that case,” I said, “tell them I say ‘hello’.” I lifted my bound hands from my lap and lifted my middle finger in the direction of the camera.
Something hard slapped me across the face, nearly sending me to the floor. My head whipped to the side as all the air rushed out of me. My vision blurred as everything spun chaotically around me. There was a sharp pain on the inside of my cheek as blood pooled in my mouth.
I looked up at Dr. Malone who was rubbing his palm against his chest. “Now if you would be so kind to let me continue,” he said, lowering his hands. I swallowed back the bitter taste of rusted coins that lingered in the back of my throat.
“The fact of the matter is, Dr. Malone,” I said, “is that I don’t understand what you’re saying because I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth. A vaccine that makes you live forever but makes you go crazy at the same time? The government would have put an end to it. No one would have let it go on.”
“The vaccine was expense to distribute. Only those with sufficient funds or connections were able to access it. Who do you think the vaccine went to?” he said.
I opened my mouth and closed it, the realization coming over me in waves. This vaccine, this cure – only the wealthy would be able to get it. The only ones that could have stopped or at least found help for the people who had taken the Pluto Vaccine were one in the same. I looked back up at Dr. Malone, a shiver drawing over my shoulders as though I were seeing him for the first time.
“Are you -?” I said.
“Yes,” he said, giving me a flat smile. “I was one of the original researchers assigned to the Pluto Project. I helped distribute the vaccine to the rich and famous, and after a time was allowed to use the vaccine as well. After a time, when we all began to feel… temptations,” he said, something wicked flickering in his eyes, “initially we wanted to begin a hunting ceremony of sorts, a way to channel the hunger.
“But after a few trial runs we realized that our test subjects died too quickly, and the Plutonians preferred a more drawn out approach.” He said.
“The tank I saw?” I said, my voice cracking at the last word. The back of my throat felt swollen and raw, and with every passing minute I found it harder and harder to breathe.
“They’re called Simulators. Scientists were able to place those who still had their emotions intact in a false setting, tricking the brain to accept it as reality. Specially designed visual and audial recordings are placed within the skull that sends everything the subject is seeing and hearing outside of their Simulator and to a data base within a facility. Our scientists analyze and record the information, then stream it to the public.” Said Dr. Malone. “Think of it as a type of reality TV, only the people in the show don’t know they’re the stars.”
I closed my eyes, willing the spinning in my head to stop. All this time, everything I had experienced, all the suffering and the pain – it was faked. Done only to entertain strangers, people who had witnessed my darkest moments and genuinely enjoyed it. My stomach lurched at the thought, and if I had any food in my stomach I’m sure I would have vomited it all out by now.
My family, the orphanage, the Wall, all of it wasn’t real. Everything I knew about my life and myself was gone.
Jax –
I let out a hoarse sob as his name flittered through the edges of my mind.
“All that sorrow,” Dr. Malone said, standing up and moving back around to the other side of the table. A red-hot flash of anger was beginning to replace the sense of dread. My adrenaline was picking up, making all his words and confessions sink into the dark part of my mind, pushing the truth away so I could forget. “for one boy. What was his name again? Ax? Jack?” I blinked up at him, wondering how he knew I was thinking about him.
“Choose your next words carefully, fat man.” I said, feeling flames curling up my neck and cheeks.
Dr. Malone gave me a blank stare, his eyes calculating and deciphering what I had said. Realization blossomed, his mouth opening to form an ‘o’ in mock surprise.
“Ah, an insult! And I must say, not a very creative one at that.” Dr. Malone said. He stood behind his empty chair, his thick hands gripping the back of it.
“You act like one real son of a bitch.” I said to him, spit flying out of my mouth. I wished I could wipe the drool that dripped from my chin. The beginning of a sob was working its way up my throat as tears threatened to spill from my eyes. The blinking red light in the corner of my eye encouraged me to push it down, to ignore it.
Dr. Malone nodded his head in understanding, then straightened his back to leave. He gripped the door handle and turned it, pausing before turning around and looking at me. A wicked gleam in his eyes made me wonder if he was really what he claimed he was, or if he was actually something far more sinister.
“We will pick our little game back up again tomorrow, Eleanor. But I would enjoy the time you have here in this facility while you can.” he said. He turned the doorknob and opened it, crossing into the doorway before stopping. Without turning around, he said, “It’s so rare that we have the chance to interview Sim such as yourself. This is going to be a real treat for me. One that I hope I will remember for many years, Eleanor. Because once you reenter your simulation, I can promise that you won’t wake back up again.”