Ethereal

Sailor’s Cove

Collapsing onto my hay bed, I closed my eyes. My fingers gently tracing the branding mark on my forearm that I had gotten my first day at Camp. The large ‘C’ that had once been an open, raw wound was now healed over. The scar tissue protruded with an unearthly glow to it, alerting anyone that came near that I didn’t belong to myself, but to the Camp. Ironically, I had taken up the habit of tracing it whenever I couldn’t sleep, or whenever I had a lot on my mind. Like Jax.

My eyes began to burn, and I realized that I was scrunching up my face so tightly in thought that a headache was beginning to form. Rubbing the area between my eyes, I willed the thoughts and questions swirling in my head to rest. Just when I thought I was beginning to understand Jax, new revelations and discoveries would appear, and I would be back at square one trying to figure him out all over again.

I decided that the next time we’re alone, truly alone, I’m going to ask him how he ended up at the Camp. Who his parents are and if he had any siblings, how he became a captain under Eli, and most importantly why he stole from the official the first day I arrived at Camp. If he couldn’t answer anything else, I at least deserved to know that. He was the reason I was even on this ship, after all.

A loud knock suddenly came from the door. I opened my eyes, wondering who could be outside. Grouch-o was never known for knocking, as he preferred shouting through the wood. And it couldn’t be Stew or Carlo, since it wasn’t late enough for dinner and they would be allowed topside.

I swallowed, my mouth turning dry. He wasn’t at my door, was he?

The possibility of seeing Jax here made my chest ache while my stomach spun itself in circles. With a clammy hand, I pressed the door open to see Stew and Carlo’s sweat drenched foreheads gleaming in the low fire light of their lanterns. I smiled, feeling oddly disappointed though I knew I shouldn’t.

“Everyone’s topside right now, missy.” Said Stew. There was a strange spark of excitement in his eyes.

“Why?” I said, confused. Was dinner being served early? That was doubtful, since Grouch-o was manning a one-person kitchen tonight.

“We’ve reached Sailor’s Cove, of course.” Said Stew.

“She doesn’t know about the Cove, Steward.” Carlo said, his voice laced with boredom as he leaned against the side of the wall. Stew must have dragged him to my room once they were let off their shift. The last thing Carlo wanted to do was to hang around with a teenage girl – especially on his night off.

“Oh!” said Stew, the realization suddenly striking him. “I forgot – it’s only ya first trip. But after every successful trade capt’n always lets us stop at Sailor’s Cove before we return to the mainland. It’s a small island just off the coast – pretty little thing, but the soil’s only good for growing scrubs and it’s too windy for small boats to make trips out to from the mainland, so the Camp doesn’t bother with it. Sailors get to use it whenever we want.”

“And what do you all do once you get there?” I said. If the Camp has no use for it, then how to the sailors keep themselves entertained?

Stew gave a hearty laugh, the fat on his belly jiggling up and down. Even Carlo gave a low chuckle. There must be some inside joke that I’m not in on.

“You’ll see once you get there, missy. But the boats are pulling out now, and if you want to come, you’d better hurry up now.” Stew said. Carlo grumbled in agreement, his impatience showing.

I hesitated for a moment, weighing my options. Though I was bone tired from moving the pot of soup for half of the day, I also didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to finally get off the ship and feel the earth beneath my feet again. I never thought I’d miss the feeling of being on solid ground – but then again, I never thought my life would have brought me here.

“The captain will be attendin’ the event, if that does anything to sway your decision.” Carlo said in a sly voice.

Stew sent him a curious look while I stuttered with my words, looking for a response. Did he know how I felt about Jax? Was I so easy to read that a middle-aged man could tell when I liked a boy? Was I that opaque when I was with Jax? Stew seemed confused by Carlo’s words, though, so maybe my secret was still safe.

“That doesn’t make a difference to me.” I said quickly feeling my face redden, “But let me just grab a sweater.”

Stew clapped his hands in excitement as Carlo hid a ghost of a smile from his face. I wondered if I should find an opportunity later tonight to peel Carlo away from Stew’s side and question him about his earlier comment, but I quickly dismissed the thought. Even if Carlo knew I had feelings for Jax, I knew Carlo would keep my secret.

I followed Stew and Carlo back onto the top deck, a slight breeze catching my hair and blowing it over my shoulders. The sun was still shining high overhead, but a heavy cloud of mist descended onto the west, sinking into the ocean. I could see the tip of the island poking through the mist, as well as several dark forms protruding from the sea surrounding it. My gut twisted as I realized that was a reef, and the dark forms were jagged obsidian rocks that lined the island’s coast. No wonder the Camp wanted nothing to do with this place.

By the time Stew and Carlo pulled a rowboat over and helped me board it, half of the crew were already on the water and rowing towards the island. My nerves continued to stand on edge as the boat was lowered onto the surface of the water, the current immediately grabbing ahold of the boat and rocking us back and forth roughly.

“Don’t worry,” said Stew, seeing the look of fright that was probably etched onto my face. “Carlo and I have gotten to the Cove through worse. This is a good day for sailing.”

I gave him a skeptical look as I looked out across the ocean, colored a dull gray, the wind sweeping over us in a much harsher way than it did before as we were engulfed into the mist. The rowboat swung right and left, tipped at such extreme angles that it made my stomach flutter, the ocean spraying all of us enough times to dench my clothes to the bone. I stuffed my sweater under my legs to keep it dry so I would have something warm to change into once I got to the cove.

“We’re almost there, miss. Just gotta clear the rocks and the water will settle.” Stew yelled over the roar of the waves.

I turned around, trying to spot the other rowboats ahead of us, but the mist proved to be too thick. How were they supposed to see the rocks through all of this? My mind wandered to Jax just then, and I couldn’t help but wonder where he was right then, and if he had made it to shore yet.

The boat grazed through the reef, the black rocks surrounding us as Stew and Carlo continued to row through the water. Though there were a few instances when the boat scrapped against the sharp reef, nearly sending me into a frightful fit, before they steadied the rowboat and steered us straight through the maze of rocks without capsizing us.

The water steadied out, just as Stew said it would. The mist lifted somewhat as well, allowing me to see the island and the other rowboats that rowed in front of us more clearly. We had entered a crescent shaped cove, where a large cave could be seen in the base of the island several yards from the beach. Even though we were still several hundred yards away from the beach, I could make out several fires lining the coast as well as inside the cave.

I searched for Jax’s profile among the crewmates still rowing in front of us, and when I couldn’t spot him, I tried to look for his blonde hair on the beach. It was no use, however. He was nowhere to be seen. Had Carlo lied, and Jax was still on the ship? Or had he changed his mind at the last minute and decided to stay behind?

“Miss,” said Stew, grabbing my attention. I turned back around to see them both drenched with sea water, their beards dyed several shades darker than usual as they were plastered to the skin of their necks. “once we get close to the shore you’re going to have to jump into the water and help us pull her onto the beach.” He said, talking about the rowboat.

I nodded my head, my eyes wavering to the water. A shiver racked down my spine thinking about how cold it must be.

The beach loomed ahead of us, and I watched as the men jumped out of the boats and helped pull them ashore. If the water was cold, they didn’t let the chill show. Their faces remained impassive, and as I saw the sand swirling beneath the rowboat, I braced myself for when Stew told me to jump.

“Alright,” he said, “go ahead and –“

I was already in the water, my nerves getting the best of me and making me jump the moment I heard his voice.

The water was deeper than I expected, rising almost to my hips as I sank into the sandbar. The ocean wasn’t as cold as I thought it would be but combined with the wind and my already soaked shirt, I had to fight back the wave of shivers threatening to make my teeth chatter.

I gripped the edge of the boat and trudged forward, grinding my teeth as I had to force my feet out of the sand’s grip with every step. My thighs burned from the exertion. I should have stayed behind to take a nap on the ship.

The water dipped lower the closer we reached land. As the water reached just above my knee, I heard a splash behind me and saw that Carlo had jumped out of the boat and was helping me pull the boat onto shore. I felt a swell of gratitude for him. He may not be as open and warm as Stew, but he had his moments.

Carlo and I stepped fully onto the beach and out of the water, both of us yanking the hull of the rowboat forward until the water no longer had a grip on the boat. Stew flung himself out of the boat and into the sand, a wide smile on his lips.

“Welcome to Sailor’s Cove, miss! Allow me to give you the full tour.” Stew said and pointed to the south point of the crescent. “That there is the sailor’s graveyard where we honor our dead. On the north end is a couple of tide pools you can visit during low tide, though Carlo says he sees urchins at times, so maybe keep on this side.”

“Sounds like a fun time,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear. So far, the island wasn’t particularly beautiful for impressive. The sand consisted of small black and grey pebbles, the beach void of anything besides a few pieces of sun-bleached wood. The rock surrounding the cave’s entrance was a single slab of black obsidian that would have been dazzling in the sunlight. Cast in the rainy mist that surrounded the island, however, made the obsidian look dull. There was no plant life in sight, and had Stew not mentioned the sea urchins on the north end of the island I would have ventured over to the tide pools to see if anything living could survive in the cove. Stew pulled me from my thoughts as he clasped an arm around my shoulders.

“And inside the cave,” Stew said, leading me towards the cave’s entrance. “is the cenote. Or a cave pool, as you land dwellers might call it.”

We stood at the entrance of the cave, my jaw dropping at the sight laid before me. Though the outside of the cove seemed to be void of life, the inside was the complete opposite. Green moss and shrubs clung to the cave walls, coloring the dark obsidian a bright emerald green. Long ivy vines dangled from the ceiling; the fuzzy sides of the leaves tickled the back of my ears as I brushed them aside to move into the cave. The air in the cave was much warmer than the air outside, the humidity clinging to my skin and filling my lungs.

The crew had started a series of fires around the cenote, their voices loud and merry as they dried themselves in the flames. A few of them were swimming in the cenote that laid just beyond them. Though I had little desire to swim with the crew watching, I silently wished that I could once I saw the bright blue of the cenote’s water. Upon closer inspection I could see small fish circling the men’s feet, crabs and snails adorning brightly colored shells crawled along the edge of the cenote.

No wonder Stew and Carlo had laughed at me when I had asked what there was to do at Sailor’s Cove. It was a hidden paradise – an escape from the harsh life at sea and the Camp.

“The walls are obsidian, but the island used to have a limestone core. That’s why the cenote’s here – limestone dissolves in water, and when the ceiling caved in the rainwater filled the cenote. The islands got a tunnel system too. Carlo and I have only been through a couple of them, but they just led out to the north end of the island. I’ve heard a few crew mates tell me they ended up on the very top of the island, but I think that’s a load of horseshit.” Said Stew.

“It’s beautiful,” I said, my voice small. I had never seen anything like this before.

“Glad ya came, then?” Carlo said, nudging me with his elbow in a playful manner. I rolled my eyes at him.

Carlo led me to the cenote’s edge, him and Stew diving in fully clothed while I found a flat rock to sit on and watch them from a far. As I took off my shoes, I felt a familiar pair of eyes on the back of my head. Ignore the feeling, I dipped my feet into the water and let out a gasp at how warm the water was. I let the water go up to my ankles, thinking about how nice the water would feel for my aching bones.

Several more men hollered from the cave entrance as they entered in from the beach, heading directly for the water. I eyed the men wearily. I didn’t think they would try to do anything, especially with Stew and Carlo close by. That didn’t make me feel any more comfortable jumping into the water, though.

A chilled breeze swept over me, the smell of the ocean and the earth encompassing my senses in an overwhelming way that was somehow pleasant. I spotted Jax’s head of blonde hair as he passed me, catching my eye as he stole a glance from over his shoulder. My lungs gave a squeeze, the air feeling hotter than it did before.

I watched as he made his way to the front of the cave, standing in front of the entrance as he stared out at his crew and waited for them to quiet down.

Silence quickly spread through the cave, the men stopping what they were doing to listen to what Jax was about to say. I admired the way they admired him – it was obvious they all respected him. These men were easily twice as old as him, and yet wherever he went it seemed as though they were left trailing after him, waiting for his next command.

How many storms did he conquer? How many souls did he save from the depths of the ocean? What kind of sea monsters did he slay to earn the respect of all these men?

“We have sailed through storms and rough seas. We’ve found and traded exotic treasures, both on land and at sea.” The men hollered. “We have slain the creatures of the deep. Though we have lost, we have never failed. Our ship and our crew will continue on, until the ocean herself has to drag us under.” At this, the entire cave began to thump their chests and bellow out their agreement. Their energy was addictive – I could feel the swelling of pride underneath my skin for being a part of this crew, and all I ever did was chop the onions.

“So tonight,” Jax said, his voice rising above the other sailor’s, “we drink for those we’ve lost, but toast for the victories we have won.”

The men erupted into a deafening roar, their voices echoing off the cave walls and sent a wave of raindrops that dangled from the vines onto all our heads. This only made them yell louder, their war cries morphing into a single hum that vibrated against the rock. I held my hands over my ears, a smile on my face despite myself. They were celebrating a successful trip – and they deserved it. From the stories Stew has told me, we had been lucky with somewhat calm weather and smooth seas. The sailor’s graveyard at the south end of the island proved that not every trip was as successful as this one had been.

Jax disappeared into a group of men crowding around the fire, who were passing around several bottles of what must have been liquor between each other. I looked away, my heart still thumping wildly inside my chest from all the excitement, and my mind replaying the image of Jax’s eyes meeting mine as he looked over his shoulder at me. I really needed to calm down – my thoughts about Jax were quickly turning obsessive. Maybe I should take up a hobby.

Too jittery to sit still, and too unwilling to join Stew and Carlo in the water, I opted to walk around the cave and explore. The fire pits and cenote only took up half of the space within the cave, the other half still waiting to be discovered by anyone brave enough to look.

I began to wander against the far side of the cave wall, my hand tracing along the obsidian wall. My fingers danced across the smooth black glass that dripped with rain, tracing the mounds of moss and vines that dangled down. The noise of the crew grew quieter the farther I moved into the cave, but as I walked on the air became lighter, turning to a cool mist that settled onto my skin.

My hand still traced along the glass wall until it touched nothing at all – only empty air. I stopped, my eyes straining through the dark to see a thin entryway before me: one of the tunnels that Stew had mentioned earlier!

Without so much as a backward glance I entered the tunnel, squeezing through tight spots, giggling as water dripped from the overhead rocks and onto my head. Being alone, exploring a new place with no one to command or snap at me almost made me feel like I was back at home. Not in the orphanage, mind you, but deep in the woods, or out harvesting in the fields. When the hot summer sun beat down on my back or the chill autumn breeze made my hands cramp from the cold. The Matrons would escort us to the fields in the early mornings, but on the walks back to the orphanage we were usually unaccompanied, and so I was free to roam the wilderness until my stomach begged me to turn back.

The tunnel suddenly arched upward, and I fell to my hands and knees as I gripped onto the surrounding rocks to hold my weight up. My breath came out in heavy pants, my skin sizzling under the cold air. I must be nearing the surface.

The tunnel leveled out again, allowing me to stand fully upright. The tunnel ended just up ahead, where I could see gray clouds and hear the gentle lapping of the ocean waves. I pushed myself through the tunnel and onto solid ground, rolling over and onto my back until I caught my breath. The ground was covered in pieces of colorful moss and tiny shrubs with little leaves blowing in the wind. I sat back on my knees, I looked out at the view around me.

I had expected the tunnel to take me to the north side where the tide pools were, but this tunnel had taken me to the very top of the island. I peered over the edge and down below, where I could see the rowboats lining the shore. Beyond the cove, the crescent island led into the ocean, and through the fog I could make out the stern of the Minnow. Standing steady against the ocean waves.

I turned around and nearly yelped out of surprise. The mainland was close – much closer than I thought. There was at least half a mile from Sailor’s Cove to the beachfront, and down the coast a few miles away I could make out the towering walls of the Camp. We were only half a day’s journey from being locked back inside those walls – if not less.

I looked back down at the Cove’s beach front, my eyes lingering on the rowboats. The idea of escape rose into my mind, whispering a plan into the hallow of my ear as I looked down at the ocean below. There was a trail that led from the top of the island down to the shore, and with all the men inside the cave celebrating they wouldn’t notice my sudden departure. The curtain of vines that blocked the cave’s main entrance would shield me from view as I stole a rowboat and brought it to shore. But I remembered the riptides that surrounded the island, as well as the treacherous reef. Stew and Carlo navigated it with ease, but that was because they had decades worth of practice. Not only had I never picked up an oar before, but I doubted I could steer such a large rowboat with just myself.

“There’s a yellow raft hidden behind a rock formation on the backside of the island.”

I spun on my heel, almost losing my balance. Jax stood in front of me, his white shirt rolled up to his shoulders and his hair falling in thick wet strands over his eyes. He watched with impassive eyes as I stood there, his gaze never wavering from mine.

“I found it a few seasons ago. It’s from the Old World, used by sailors before our time. There’s a gas-powered engine on the back of it, still full. It would get you to shore within the hour.” Jax took a step closer to me. I looked behind me and saw nothing but the edge of the cliff. There was nowhere for me to run off to now.

I turned to look back at Jax to see he was now directly in front of me, hardly a fingertips length away. My breath caught in my throat as I looked from his lips and back into his eyes. He let out a slow breath, the warmth of it settling over me in a haze. I closed my eyes and shivered, but it wasn’t from the cold.

“If you take it, and make it to shore, I’ll wait until we dock at Solomon’s Port to report you’ve gone missing.” He said.

I froze where I stood, my hands hovering over his. He was offering me a way out, a chance to escape.

“Why are you telling me this?” I said, frowning.

He gave me a hard look, his eyebrows drifting low over his eyes. I wanted to reach up and smooth them back into place.

“So you can leave,” he said, as though the answer was obvious.

Within an instant I was gone – disappearing under his arm as I widened the distance between us. I eyed the mouth of the tunnel, considering disappearing into its depths, but turned back around as I heard Jax step closer.

“That’s what you want? You want me to leave? Would that make things easier for you, captain?” I said, my voice sounding bitter.

“What are you talking about?” Jax said, pausing before he took another step.

“You’re so worried about someone seeing me try to flirt at you that you want to send me away before I embarrass you. Try to deny it!” I said, hating the way my voice turned into a shrill shriek at the end. Jax shook his head.

“I’m not trying to send you away.” He said. The calmness in his voice made me want to push him over the cliffside. “And you’re ’flirting at me’?” he said, a smile in his voice.

I ignored his last comment, returning to the main issue at hand. “No? Then clue me in as to why you’re telling me to run. Explain to me why every time I reached out you pulled away. Or how I know absolutely nothing about you, and somehow –“

“You still can’t help feeling the way you feel.” Jax finished the sentence for me.

I opened my mouth and closed it, my words escaping me. For a moment I realized that while Jax has done all of the things I’ve accused him of, I was no better. I’ve run from him, pulled away when he tried to get close. I’m sure that if our roles were switched and I was in a position of power I would offer him a chance to escape as well. No matter how much I push him away, his feelings towards me hadn’t changed. It was then that I realized that mine hadn’t either.

Jax took a slow, measured step towards me, and when I didn’t move back, he rose like the tide, sweeping me into his arms and pulled me back out to sea. To drown to or swim, I wasn’t sure.

His hand cupped the underside of my jaw, making me tilt my head up at him.

“There are men on my ship that would report us the moment they think there was something going on. If that got back to Eli, I would be demoted, and you would be sent to work on another ship, if not back to the Camp to work hard labor.” His thumb traced the trail of freckles that dotted my cheeks, his chest swelling against mine. “Captains can’t have relations with their crewmates. They need to be focused on the ship and their crew, although I have to admit I haven’t been doing a very good job these past few weeks.”

His words rumbled through me, making my bones shake.

“And I’ll remind you that the first night we kissed, you were the one to run away from me. Not the other way around.” He said. His mouth was now grazing the side of my face, his lips moving around the arch of my brow and down to the shell of my ear as he kissed it softly. I let a sigh escape my lips.

“That doesn’t explain why you want me to leave. If anything, it just makes everything you’ve said more confusing.” I say, my hands balling up the fabric of his shirt.

He pulled away from me then, his eyes gliding past the tip of my nose and down to my lips. With his forefinger he drew a small pattern into the corner of my mouth, his breath fanning the hair out of my face.

“My father used to tell me that the ocean was wild as it was free, and that’s what made it so beautiful.” He said, “Should man ever try to tame it, that would be the day the world would meet its end. I think I would meet mine if I tried to hold on to you any longer.”

He began to pull away right then, his face threatening to disappear into the mist that wrapped around our legs. Desperation tugged at my heart, throwing me forward and back into his arms as our lips collided together.

His mouth was warm against mine, the feeling sent white hot sparks down into my belly. I had never kissed anybody before, and I could only pray that whatever my mouth was doing wasn’t horrible and wouldn’t make Jax pull away from me. He was right, in a weird way. About how it’s wrong to tame something that was meant to be free. These past weeks had been some of the hardest I’ve ever endured, not because of the heat or the work, but because I’ve been pushed into tight corners where I can’t feel the wind cooling my skin or the sun beating down on my hair.

I would do it all over again, though, if it meant I could stay with him.

Jax paused for a moment, only a moment, before he wrapped himself back around me, pulling me deep into the caves of his heart. I wrapped a hand around his waist and another on the nape of his neck, holding him against me. Our lips moved together in ease, the heat between us dangling delicately in the wind.

He reached down and squeezed my hip, making me gasp. He stole his opportunity and deepened the kiss, his thumb pressed against the vein in my neck as it beat out wildly against him. His mouth disconnected from mine, instead trailing kisses down my neck and back up again. Jax’s lips marking the length of my jaw to the lobes of my ears, then working up to the ends of my brows and circling the sensitive skin around my eyes. We melted into one another, his forehead on mine as he opened his eyes to look down at me.

“Now how could I ever let you go now, Mousey?” he said, planting one final kiss on the tip of my nose.

“How did I even get that nickname? Even the crew call me that.” I said, weaving my hand through his blonde hair. I’ve been wanting to touch him like this since the first moment I saw him in the marketplace.

“When you first came on board, you fell over the railing.” Jax said. “The crew saw how small you looked on the ground, and with your hair, well,” Jax took a piece of my brown hair between his fingers, rolling the strands between them. “they thought you looked like a mouse. I only used it because it got a rise out of you.”

I smacked him on the arm, a giggle escaping me. My mind then turned to all the other questions I wanted to ask him, my mouth opening and closing as I tried to decide what question I wanted to ask him first.

“You have more questions you want to ask me,” Jax said, a smile playing on the edge of his lips. “I promise I’ll answer them. But for right now, I must go back down below. If the crew notices I’m gone, they’ll start looking. And if they notice you’re gone as well –“

I nodded my head, silencing him with one last kiss. We couldn’t risk being found out by the crew.

Jax sighed, his eyes full of an emotion I couldn’t decipher. And then, without any warning, the world seemed to go still.

The wind stopped blowing, my hair coming to rest behind my back. Jax’s hands were still frozen on me, his body unmoving. I reached out and touched him, but he didn’t move.

“Jax?” I said. I grabbed onto his shoulder and tried to give him a little shake. His body wouldn’t give – it was like he was frozen in place.

I stepped out of his hold; his hands stuck in midair. What was going on? Was he pranking me? But as I looked out over the edge of the cliff, I saw that the waves had stopped their motion, the ocean having gone still.

“Nor?” Jax said, startling me. “What’s wrong?” I looked back over to see him completely fine, his arms and legs now moving, unfrozen. I turned back to the sea, its waves now crashing over the sand as though nothing had happened. Was I going crazy?

“Nothing,” I said, rubbing the side of my head where a headache was beginning to form. I turned back to Jax, his eyes full of concern. “I just don’t want the crew to find out about us.” I said, the lie dripping off my tongue.

Jax’s shoulders relaxed, his gaze softening. “They won’t. I’ll make sure of it.” He pulled me back into his arms, the scars that were painted over his skin scraped against my own. He brushed a piece of hair away from my face.

“I’ll never leave you, Nor.” He said.

And I knew he meant it.