Ethereal

To the Sea

Shipping Master Eli had already turned and was working his way through the dispersing crowd before I could stand. I shot up on my feet and hurried after him, finding that he could walk surprisingly fast for such an old man.

I pushed and squeezed between people as I tried to keep up with Eli. It was easy to spot his bald head through the masses of people, and it also helped that wherever he seemed to go the crowd would part to let him pass. It was obvious that this man was important in some way here in the Camp. So why did he help me then?

I lunged through a group of arguing vendors and nearly tripped and fell as I stood next to Eli. He gave me a sideways glance but said nothing. “Why do they call you Shipping Master?” I asked him. He gave me another tsk with the flick of his tongue. He wasn’t a very talkative person.

“You are a newly arrived Camper and your fate is marked for an unpleasant and painful death, and you choose to ask me questions about my title?” he says, shaking his head. I watched as his beard swung back and forth from the movement.

“Technically we’re all ‘marked for an unpleasant and painful death’, and I’m not scared of the Camp.” I said, half lying.

“You should be,” said Eli, his voice sounding small. I waited for him to continue, but with one sideways glance at me he changed tactics. “I control the majority of ship carriers for the Camp. Depending on the ship, they transport goods to and from the Sacramento Providence or act as fishing ships and bring in food for the Camp and the Providence.”

“And you let Campers run the ships? How do you know they won’t just sail away and never come back?” I said. It would be the first thing that I’d do.

Eli laughed at the question, though. “This has happened on a few occasions. They always end up returning.” There was an ominous way that Eli said those last few words. I felt a chill sweep down my arms as I thought about the possibility that whatever resided within the oceans was far worse than any possible fate earned here at the Camp.

“I see,” I said, “then what kind of work am I going to be doing for you? I can do just about any household chore.”

Eli stopped suddenly, and I looked up to see that we were back at the gate’s entrance. The crowd that had gathered in front of it earlier to watch the new Camper arrivals had since disappeared, but a few new Campers were still trickling through.

I watched as Eli waved at an official near the gate, who then signaled to someone out of sight behind the wall. The official turned back to Eli and waved for us to step forward. I looked up at the vast heights of the wall, speechless at its impressive height for the second time today as I passed through its gates once again.

Maybe being recruited into the Shipping Master’s crew wasn’t such a bad thing after all – once I found my family, I could easily find a way to smuggle them out of the Camp and steal one of Eli’s ships. But maybe that was wishful thinking. I’ve never set foot on a ship before, let alone know how to swim. I might die at sea before being able to track down my parents and brother.

A wave of fear swept over me as Eli and I passed through the gates and left the entrance of the Camp behind. What if I did die at sea? That’s probably why Edwin was so willing to let me go with Eli – if working on the boats was as dangerous as everyone was making it out to be, then a girl who can’t swim wouldn’t stand a chance.

A jeep-like car was waiting for us, and from the jingle in Eli’s hand I knew that he’d be driving us. Eli opened his car door and I followed suit, my movements awkward and unsure. I’d never been in a car save for the rare occasion a Matron would bring me into a neighboring town to help trade and barter our crop yields, and even then, I would just sit next to the crates of food in the back of the truck.

I picked up a thin strap of material with a metal buckle on the end of it, wondering if it was something important. Eli noticed my confusion and gave a short chuckle.

“It’s a seatbelt.” He said. “You click it into the buckle at the edge of your seat, right here.” He pointed to a small black box in the left-hand corner of my seat. I squinted down at the small box, looking from it to the seat belt. How in the hell –

Eli took the seat belt out of my hand and shoved the metal end of it into a thin slit in the buckle, tying the belt securely across my waist and saving me from further embarrassment.

As Eli turned the key into the ignition, he glanced over at me once more, a glint of interest now evident in his eyes.

“I take it you’ve never ridden in a car before.” He said. I jerked backwards as the car jolted forward and began moving down a dirt road adjacent to the wall.

“Only a few times, but I was always in the back. I wasn’t lucky enough to have this fashion statement.” I said, pulling on my belt.

“You’ve worked transport before?” Eli asked, his eyebrows lifting a bit off his forehead. I shook my head.

“Not really – I mostly worked in the fields. It was only during harvesting season when there was a larger than usual crop yield that I was allowed to ride into town to help sell the crops to the officials and townspeople.” I said.

“Ah, now I understand.” He said. I glanced over at him, frowning. I waited for him to elaborate on what now made sense to him, but after a long few minutes of silence I decided he wasn’t going to talk again.

Instead I focused on the wind blowing through my hair and the intensifying smell of sea breeze. I hadn’t been paying attention before at the Camp, but the air was heavier here in the Sacramento Providence. It made my skin constantly feel wet and the fine hairs on the back of my neck slick with sweat.

Far off in the distance I could make out the outline of the Sacramento Citadel, with its strange metallic buildings and oversized white sculptures that could be seen from miles away. Besides that, there was no other sign of civilization in the barren desert that engulfed this region. An image of my burning orphanage suddenly came into my mind. I thought of the rebels and the blank looks on their faces that were illuminated by the flames. If it was true that they had burned the Salt Lake Providence, then that meant that Sacramento was the only Citadel left.

“Eli,” I said. He tilted his head towards me ever so slightly to indicate that he was listening. “did you hear about the rebels taking over the Salt Lake and Colorado River Citadels?”

“Where did you hear a thing like that?” he said.

“Did you?” I insisted. He shook his head.

“You don’t need to be concerning yourself with talk like that. And don’t bring up any talk of rebels back at the Camp. Not many there are too fond of that subject.” Eli said. From his tone I knew the conversation was over, and even though I knew that out of anyone in the Camp he would probably have the most accurate answers to my questions. I let the topic drop for now.

The jeep suddenly dipped downwards, and a bright blue sea that stretched beyond the horizon greeted us. I had never seen the ocean before, and the sheer size of it was almost frightening to behold. The sun glittered over it in such a way that it looked like blue icing covered in plastic wrap, resembling the cakes the Matrons would sell to the villagers in the nearby towns.

As we drove closer to the beach front, I spotted half a dozen ships sitting several miles out on the sea with their sails drawn. Black rowboats littered the beach front, half buried in the sand so the water wouldn’t pull them to sea. I looked up and down the beach and saw a series of bonfires several yards from shore with large groups of men huddled around them. These must be the sailors. I began to wonder what ship I would be assigned to, what job I would have. Would I become a fisherman, or learn how to transport Camp goods up and down the coast? How far out to sea would we go? I looked over at Eli with my eyes full of questions, but before I could say one word, he held up a hand to stop me.

“All of your questions will be answered by your captain when we get to the beach front.” he said.

I opened my mouth and closed it, thinking better of annoying the man who saved me from being hanged.

Eli braked and pulled the car to a stop, the sudden force making me fall forward towards the dashboard of the car until the seat belt pulled me back. Safety first, I guess.

I watched Eli push a button on his seatbelt that released the belt and mimicked his actions, satisfied with myself when I successfully unbuckled the seatbelt without his help. I opened the door and hopped down onto the yellow sand below. My mouth tilted into a frown as my feet sunk into the soft ground, and as I lifted them back up on top of the ground they sunk back into the earth. It felt like I was walking in drying mud, or through cold oatmeal.

“I do not like this.” I said to myself quietly, shuffling my feet in the sand. I looked up to see the sun sinking towards the ocean, casting the waves into a fiery orange glow.

“This way.” Said Eli, shutting the driver side door. I walked a step behind Eli, caution taking over me as we approached the first group of people. I glanced over all their faces and my unease doubled as I realized that I was the only female present.

Eli stopped in front of the group of men, his presence alone making all of them stop talking and stand to attention. He didn’t have to say a word and they were already listening. Eli was that important of a man to these people.

“Captains.” he said, greeting them. They all nodded their heads in greeting. “Have any of you seen Jax this fine evening?” Eli searched the group for a familiar face.

“He’s over by his crew. They sail tomorrow for Death Canyon; I suspect he’s preparing them for the journey.” said a man with yellow teeth. His hair was tied into two long braids on either side of his head with the ends dyed purple, making him look more like a preteen girl than a shipping captain for the Camp.

I felt the eyes of the captains’ drift towards me in interest, but instead of introducing me to them Eli moved away from the group and cast a small glance backwards at me to make sure I was following him. I avoided the eyes of the other captains as I passed them and hurried after Eli, my legs burning with effort as I had to yank my feet out of the sand with every step.

We passed by the next bonfire without stopping, and I noticed that these men were dressed in rags compared to the captains. Their clothes hung loosely off their dirty frames and their eyes were downcast as they stared into the fire, not bothering to look up at us as we passed. It was the same with the crewmen sitting at the next four bonfires we passed. Though the sailors were free to roam outside of the Camp’s walls, it looked like they were no better off at sea than they were on land. The sailors talked amongst themselves quietly, their suspicious eyes darting between Eli and me as we passed.

There was one last bonfire several yards away that was further from the rest of the crew and captains. I could hear the men laughing and talking animatedly to each other around the fire, passing around bottles of liquor and food to one another. They were easily the loudest group on the beach, causing several of the other sailors to look over at them now and then and glare.

Eli came to a stop in front of me, his face aglow from the soft light of the fire. He was staring at something straight ahead, a slight smile resting on his lips. I followed his eyes and spotted the broad back of a figure dressed in a green cloak – it was the same man from the market center from earlier! A bolt of anger shot down my spine at the sight of him. It was his fault that the little boy was almost killed because of his thievery, and if I hadn’t intervened, I’d be questioning Campers about my family and perhaps be a step closer to reuniting with them.

I pulled my hands into fists at my sides, heat rushing down my neck as my anger settled fully into my chest. Just as I was about to open my mouth and say something crass to the stranger, his shoulders stiffened as though he knew he was being watched. He turned away from the bonfire towards Eli.

His dirty blonde hair was still as unkempt as it was in the market center, but in the dying sunlight I saw his strong jaw covered in a slight stubble of a poorly done shave job. As he reached out to take Eli’s hand, I watched the ripple of muscle in his arms and shoulders, with bronzed skin peeking out from the ends of his jacket and neckline.

For a captain he didn’t look much older than I was, and with a quick glance at the crew I could see that they were all several decades older than him as well. Who was he to Eli?

“Eli,” he said, his deep voice rattling something loose deep in my bones. He swept a hand through his mop of hair that immediately fell back into his eyes, and he shook Eli’s hand.

“It’s nice to see you staying out of trouble, Jax.” Said Eli.

My breath caught in my throat. This was Jax? If my thinking was correct, Jax was a captain under Eli, and in his spare time he enjoyed stealing from officials and almost getting innocent people killed.

“Always a happy Camper,” Jax says, his voice light but holding a hint of bitterness to it. Eli laughed, and upon suddenly remembering why he was there, straightened and turned towards me.

“I’ve brought you a new recruit.” He says, and gestures for me to step forward.

I step besides Eli and into the firelight, the darkening sky casting a luminous glow to Jax’s side profile. His eyes slid to mine, and I forced myself to hold eye contact and to not look away like some schoolgirl with a kid crush. The heat that had been burning a hole in my chest was now gone, replaced by an odd feeling of unease as I looked up at Jax’s towering figure. It took me a moment to realize that I was nervous being so close to him.

Jax stepped forward and held out his hand to me, leaning down slightly to my level. I looked from his outstretched hand back to his honey colored eyes that seemed to swirl in the light, and slowly took his hand in mine.

I’ve heard stories of older girls in the orphanage meeting boys from nearby villages during the night, and when they would return to their rooms in the early morning hours they would tell us how whenever their lovers touched them it was like a bolt of lightning to their skin, or a hot burn.

Only when Jax and I’s hands touched, there was no feeling of scorched flesh or electricity. Instead I felt a soft whisper of air glide from his hand to mine. The sea mist that clung to him made the air around us thicker, and I felt as though a warm ocean wave had descended upon me and was pulling me down into its inky depths. There was no shock or jolt, but only a moment where I thought I felt a strange calm come over me, as though I had finally returned home.

A cough from one of the crewmates shook me out of my haze. I dropped Jax’s hand and looked around to see that all the crewmates had gone silent to stare at us, or more accurately, me. Even Eli noticed the tense silence that had settled around the crew and cleared his throat, and I thought I saw the ghost of a smirk graze Jax’s features before turning back to me.

“What’s your name?” Jax said, his breath tickling my ear. His voice was closer than it was before, and when I turned back to look at him he had taken a step closer to me, making me jump. He was barely a breath’s length away, and the intensity of his stare made my stomach swirl with an emotion I had never felt before. My toes curled inside of my shoes.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, blinking hard before the answer surfaced to my lips: “Nor,” I said.

Jax smiled, his teeth a bright white against the flames. The sun had set completely by now, time seemed to slip between my fingers in this place. For a moment I wanted to reach up and touch his hair, to see if it was as soft as it looked.

“Nor,” Jax said, my name a mere whisper on his lips. I felt my stomach flip. He turned around to his crew. “Men, I give you our newest crewmate. Please take the time to get to know her accordingly.”

And with that, Jax was gone, pulling away like the tide and disappearing into the darkness with Eli by his side. An odd chill swept over my skin in his absence.

I looked back to the group of men sitting around the fire. Their skins were bronzed and sun kissed like Jax’s, their hair chopped thin and their clothes bleached from the mixture of salt and intense sun. They watched me with dark eyes, unspeaking. I took that as my signal to leave.

I turned on my heel and sunk into a spot a few yards away from the fire pit. I was far enough away that the crew would have to squint into the darkness to see me, but just close enough where I could still feel the lingering tendrils of heat from the fire. The moment my back was turned the group went back to chatting and passing around their liquor bottles.

I tried not to focus on the hurt swelling in my belly by their obvious rejection of me; not only was I a new crewmate, but a new Camper. I was an outsider through and through. It also probably didn’t help that I had boobs.

A loud clasp of laughter broke out among the group, and I tried to make myself believe that it wasn’t about me. I turned my attention to the ocean rolling itself out into large waves, trying to enjoy my first time visiting the beach. With the sun now gone from the sky, the water had a haunted look with the moon’s reflection upon it. I had never seen the ocean before now, and while the more well-traveled Matrons had tried to describe it to myself and the other girls in the orphanage before, their descriptions didn’t do it justice. There are some things in this world that must be seen rather than heard, and I suppose the ocean was one of them.

A shiver crossed over my skin, the hairs on my arms rising to attention as I felt someone’s eyes pass over me. In the distance I heard a car engine sputter and choke to life. If Eli was leaving, then where was Jax?

I felt too self-conscious to turn around and search for him in the group of men surrounding the fire, but the feeling of being watched remained. At some instances I thought I could make out his voice weaving in and out of conversations, but I wasn’t sure.

The image of his eyes flashed inside my mind, making my stomach flutter and the skin of my neck and face heat. There was no point in denying that he was a very handsome man, and a sea captain at that. My attraction towards him did not, however, excuse the fact that he was the reason a child and I nearly died because of his thievery. Could he be trusted?

The crew suddenly quieted behind me, all the noise dying out in a single breath. I turned to see what had happened to kill the conversation so quickly, and saw that Jax was standing among the men, preparing to give a speech.

“Tomorrow we sail for Death’s Canyon.” He said. The crew roared to life, cheering at the prospect that they – we – were headed for a place named quite literally after death. Men, I thought to myself wearily.

“We will rendezvous with the ship Valencia from the East and hopefully barter a trade for their fabrics and spices. We meet with Valencia ten days from tomorrow, and then receive a shipment from Solomon’s Port down the coast before returning to Camp. Get some sleep, we sail at first light.” His gaze suddenly lifted to mine at that moment, a flicker of a smile on the corner of his lips. Without another word he retreated backwards into the darkness, the men saying their goodbyes to him as he left.

I turned back around and frowned to myself, counting the days that we would be gone on my fingers. Ten days to reach the rendezvous point with the ship Valencia and ten days to return – not to mention however many days it would take to drop off the shipment of goods to Solomon’s Port. I’d be gone for well over three weeks, maybe even a month.

It set back my search for my family once again. The impatience reared itself in my stomach like a wild buck, its horns burying themselves into my insides with an intense ferocity.

“Just a delay,” I said to myself, “what is three weeks when you’ve been waiting thirteen years?” This reminder calmed me somewhat. I had been waiting for half my life for them, I could wait a month more.

I turned back around to see a crewmate toss a log into the dwindling fire. The rest of the men were now spread out around the fire pit, each laying on blankets and makeshift pillows they formed from their jackets. A chilled breeze suddenly swept over me, carrying the cool air off the sea and onto the land. I shivered underneath my thin shirt and worn pants. The fire gleamed lazily behind me, morphing my shadow into a strange looking creature in the sand as it beckoned me to its warmth, but I’d sooner freeze then cuddle up with one of my new crewmates.

Lowering myself onto my hands and knees, I dug into the sand below me, hollowing out a small indent to lay down onto. Once I was satisfied with my work, I fell back into the ground and let the sand embrace me, still warm from the late afternoon heat. My muscles uncoiled in my shoulders and my legs stretched out to bury themselves deeper into the sand. Though I had found myself sleeping in several odd locations during the past week, this spot was almost as comfortable as my old bed back in the orphanage. With the sound of ocean waves surrounding me and the crackling of burning wood I descended into an easy sleep.