Escaping Death

Dead to me - Chloe Adams

You are dead to me

’Cause what you said to me, Cut so deep

And now you’re dead to me

Dead to me

You were a friend to me, But I put you to sleep

And now you’re dead to me

— — — — —

Solana

Hunter doesn’t let go of me, not even when I pull away towards the passenger side of the car. Instead, he opens his door and has me get into the car through his side. My body moves on autopilot as I slide across the front bench to make room for him. I don’t stop to question or resist him, I just want to get out of here.

The engine roars to life and the gears complain when he hastily shifts between them before we’re peeling out of the parking lot like a couple of thieves.

Four years I’ve trained to be better than the girl that was left beaten and broken on that basement floor. Four years I’ve spent among the cruelest, darkest creatures to roam the Earth and I’ve slaughtered every threat I’ve faced. But somehow those four years vanished into thin air when Reef pointed at me and demanded I be sold as a breeder to the highest bidder as payment.

I reek of failure.

I’m disgusted with myself and I’m fucking pissed. I thought I burned away the last of my weaknesses long ago, but one blast from the past and I’m back to being that naive little girl from the grove.

Flames blanket my palms and kiss my fingertips, my claws extend and my canines drop. Resisting the heat and the shift is painful, nothing would feel better right now than to burn, but Hunter doesn’t have that kind of heat tolerance. And as much as I want him to hurt the way that I have hurt, an equal and opposite part of me wants to let that all go.

It all becomes too much. The anger and betrayal from the last four years wars violently against my gratitude that he was there for me today. I want to bottle it all back up again, but it’s like wanting to fill a shaken soda bottle — once that cap is lifted, everything will come spraying out.

Try as I might to stop it, that’s exactly what happens to me now. Rogue tears burn their way down my cheeks. They continue to rebel against my wishes until a sob escapes me when I notice Hunter has pulled off the road at a private scenic overlook.

Hunter’s large, strong hands pull me across the bench seat and into his lap where he ensnares me in his arms.

“It’s okay, Sunflower. I’ve got you.”

I crumble along with every wall I’ve worked to build. The vault around my heart shatters in his embrace and a deluge of darkness kept within comes flooding out. I curl up around myself in his lap, my head resting on his chest while my hands cover my face. It’s bad enough that I’m reacting this way, I don’t need him to see my face while I ugly cry.

Hunter holds me the whole time as I unleash four years of unshed tears, rage, and heartbreak. He lets me soak his shirt to the skin and he doesn’t make a single move other than to rub small circles against my back.

I’m embarrassed by how blindsided I was by shit that I thought I had buried a long time ago. The twisted part is that the person responsible for my suffering back then is the same one who is trying to soothe it all away now. Maybe he didn’t just protect me because it’s his job. Maybe a part of him does still give a shit what happens to me.

When my sobs have slowed down enough, I manage to hiccup the words, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Hunter assures me. “I’m the one who’s sorry.” I feel him rub his cheek over the top of my head, nuzzling me tenderly.

Fat tears begin to fall again, “no, I mean for reacting this way. It’s stupid. I should’ve been stronger.” My words are muffled by my hands and broken by my cries.

“Oh, Sunflower,” Hunter sighs into my hair. “We can train and prepare all we like, but some things…,” he shakes his head, looking for the right words to say. “Some trigger points are harder to barricade than others.”

Tears continue to silently stain my face. I shift in his lap so my head rests on his shoulder and my legs are folded and tucked against my chest. Hunter’s hand gently cups my cheek, turning my head so he can see my face. I keep my eyes hidden beneath a downward stare, because I know at this point one look into his eyes is all it’ll take and I’ll forgive him – for all of it.

He doesn’t ask me to look at him, instead he kisses my forehead. His chest rumbles with a groan as I release another sob when he presses his lips to my skin. My eyes flutter closed but I feel his lips kissing away the new tears that are sliding down my cheeks and migrating towards the corners of my mouth. Each kiss is intentional, he takes his time carefully planting each one, making sure the tears have been fully soaked up by his kiss.

My eyes are still closed when I turn my head slightly towards him, like a sunflower seeking the sun, because that’s what I’ve always been — his Sunflower. My nose nuzzles against his and our lips graze one another’s. Our lips dance patiently with one another, skimming against each other, exchanging air, going for the goal only to back away at the last moment.

I don’t know whose lips lock on first, but the slow, tantalizing battle of wills ends when our lips close around one another. Gods have I missed how soft his lips are and how no kiss with him is just a kiss. Each one has meaning, each one imprints upon me a memory.

Our lips part, breaking the kiss, but his nose nuzzles mine a little more intentionally, a little more longingly. I keep thinking about the day he left and comparing it to what happened today. I keep wanting to be angry at him and demand blood but I’m so grateful that he stood up for me today — while I was suffocating on my past he protected my future.

Hunter slides his hand behind my head and pulls me towards him. This time when our lips meet neither of us pull away. Instead we both sink deeper into one another. His tongue strokes against my lips coaxing them to part and grant him access. His tongue caresses mine slowly at first, every stroke an apology, every lick a promise.

Beneath all the rage and betrayal of the last four years our kiss unearths a painful truth — I’ve missed him. I’ve missed him so fucking much.

He kisses me like it’s the first time he ever has and the last time he ever will. I whimper into his mouth as his chest rumbles and his wolf calls out to mine causing him to groan with longing in response. His hands don’t stay still, they alternate between cupping my face, trailing down my arms and legs, and gripping my hips.

His kisses become more and more demanding, controlling the movement of my lips, occupying my mouth with his tongue, biting and dragging my bottom lip between his teeth.

“Sunflower,” he whispers against my lips, breaking our kiss so we can both catch our breath. “You alright?”

I nod weakly, “thank you, you know, for not letting them sell me.”

His forehead comes to a rest against mine. “I would never let that happen to you.”

The bubble that formed around us as we rekindled a forgotten flame bursts against his words.

Never? Has he so quickly forgotten that he already tried once? Instantly the anger returns and I scramble to push myself out of his arms.

“You did though,” my voice starts off calm but quickly escalates into shouting. “You let your mate’s brothers try to sell me off like fucking cattle. They beat me, they…,” I look at him through glossy eyes, “they killed my baby. Our baby.”

Hunter’s expression contains many emotions; regret, pain, despair, guilt. But it’s missing something I didn’t expect — surprise.

He is not surprised at all to learn that I was pregnant and that they killed our baby.

“You knew?” I breathe, smoke swirling off my tongue as my flames build in my throat. “You fucking knew and you still left me?” By now I’m pressed up against the passenger door trying to distance myself as far away from Hunter as possible.

“Sunflower —“

“Don’t fucking call me that. How could you? How could you do that to me?”

“Sol, I didn’t —“

He’s cut off by the sound of his cell phone ringing. He glances at the screen and curses when he sees Ace’s name knowing that he has to take the call.

I don’t want to hear what he’ll have to say after he’s done with his call. I don’t want an explanation right now. I didn’t think it was possible to feel worse pain than losing that baby, but I was wrong. This is just as bad. Finding out that he knew about it, knew what they did, and he still left… I really didn’t mean anything to him.

The passenger door flies off the hinges as I kick it open. Hunter yells for me to stop and come back but I’m already in the sky by the time he notices and there’s no way I’m going back with him.

— — —

There’s something that has always attracted me to Shadowmoon. The air is clean and crisp, it’s not as isolated from the world, human or otherwise, as the grove is. It just feels…grounded, rooted. The homes were built by hand from the very earth they rest upon. There’s no ring of perilous mountains that scream “fuck off!” The pack grounds blend into the land and the land sustains the pack. There’s something very beautiful about this unique mutualism.

Despite having no natural protection or border patrol, I feel safer here than anywhere else in the world. I used to say that about Hunter, that he was my safe place, but he has since proven that to be false.

So now this is my escape. Where I spend most of my days rebuilding and repairing and the rest of the time training and working out. Like right now. The day has slipped away from me while I racked up reps beneath the barbell and bloodied my fists beating against the steel-enforced punching bags.

I’m completely spent. My body is bloody, littered with bruises, and there’s sweat seeping through my clothes — but I haven’t felt this great in weeks. That is, until I remember I have to go back to their house and sleep under the same roof as Hunter.

And I already know Ace is going to be beyond flames. I flew off without my cell so there’s no way for Tate to track me. I’m free.

I could stay here or take off and start a new life somewhere else in the world. I could leave for good. Maybe my mistake four years ago was sticking around too close to home, I should have flown further, hidden better.

Whatever allure that freedom holds is muted in the shadow of those five boys waiting for me to come home. I’ve escaped them enough times now to reluctantly admit that I go back voluntarily. I choose to go back to them. Despite my past with Hunter and Ace’s bullshit there’s something there that I can’t let go of quite yet. It may be the very definition of a glutton for punishment but there we are.

I’ve survived worse than Death.

My smile and good mood doesn’t last me all the way back to their house, but at least I’m not still steaming.

It’s dark when I land on the sidewalk in front of the house, so I don’t worry about uncloaking myself out in the open and being spotted by nosy neighbors. The street is quiet, most houses have turned in for the night not wanting to be caught outside by what’s lurking in the dark in this part of town.

Tonight that happens to be me — I’m lurking. There aren’t many sounds to be heard tonight. Some couple fighting three houses down, a dog barking, the leaves on the trees rustling in the wind. There’s another sound tonight, though. One that’s so subtle I can hardly hear it even with my Alpha heritage.

But I heard it. Leather makes a very specific sound, it’s smoother than a creak and deeper than a squeak. It’s followed by another sound — a tell. It’s the huff of air that is forced from your lungs right before you lunge. And whoever is following behind me has just given themselves away.

I cloak myself in shadows and squat down to the ground so the person who tries to grab me ends up hugging nothing but air. My leg sweeps his feet out from under him and he falls face first, taking a nice bite of concrete when he lands.

I kneel down and flip the guy over onto his back to get a look at who is trying to attack me when I hear the cocking of a gun behind me. Grabbing the guy by his shirt I haul him over me, putting him between me and the bullet that was meant for me.

More gunshots sound, glass explodes from the car’s windows, and the tires scream against the asphalt when the driver floors the gas.

The man’s body is dragged off of me and before Eli can pull me up and into his arms I see Tate and Ace flying after the car that shot at me.

“Get her inside!” Ace commands as he flies past us.

The car crashes, more gunshots go off, and then there’s nothing — nothing but a fucking jackhammer going off in my head.

“Eli, you’re freezing her!” Dean strips himself of his hoodie and throws it over my head. My teeth stop chattering and the hammering in my head halts as Dean thaws the product of Eli’s unchecked emotional response.

Ace teleports back to us and once his eyes lock onto mine I know I’m in trouble. “I.D. the bodies, stage the car,” he says to the guys before grabbing my shoulders and taking me through the void, teleporting us into his bedroom.

He cages me immediately against the door. His eyes are blown black and his breathing is harsh. Ace is usually a pillar of control, but that control seems to be slipping through his fingers before my very eyes — and that frightens me more than anything.

I don’t think he’d hurt me, but then again I’ve been very wrong about people before.