Escaping Death

FU In My Head - Cloudy June

I got dirty wishes on my mind

But you will never ever know that I

I like to fuck you in my head

You make me scream when there’s nobody,

Just the thought of your body

— — — — —

Solana

I thought I’d feel better. Kicking his ass has been all I’ve wanted to do these last few years so then why don’t I feel any less angry, any less hurt? Maybe it’s because he let me hit him, he wasn’t even trying at the beginning. He just stood there taking it. I hope it’s because he knows he deserves it. And then Dean got in the way. My feud isn’t with Dean, I didn’t want him in the middle of something that is long overdue between Hunter and me.

Hunter stood there with a thin coat of sweat glistening on his body along with bruises and cuts that I put there. It gutted me. I saw once more the man to whom I gave my heart, body, and soul. It was like he had never left, for one brief fleeting millisecond he was mine and I was his again. But reality always has a way of slamming hard and fast right into your face, bowling you over when you’ve given into the last strand of hope. I couldn’t stand looking at him standing there displaying my name on his heart. I can’t believe he didn’t cover that up. Why didn’t he cover that up? Not that I covered mine, per se, but I added the claw marks a few months after he left.

I did enjoy raking my claws through my name. It felt like I was taking back control of who my heart belongs to. He has no right to wear my name, he ripped that honor to shreds so I mangled my name to befit what he did.

No one says anything as I walk back through the yard towards the house, tip-toeing around the knives that are embedded in the porch, not even Ace. I feel like I’m slowly losing my control — of my choices, of my body, of my heart. I’ve trained too hard and sacrificed too much to spiral back into the ignorant little girl from the grove.

I don’t have control over who my fated mate is, I don’t have control over the past or how my heart and body respond to the guys — and at present I don’t have control over my freedom. So if I’m going to survive here with any shred of integrity I need to take control where I can, when I can.

I’m acutely aware of Ace following behind me. His steps are silent but his calling is strong and his scent is potent. I can feel him more and more as the days go by.

“Sorry about the damage. I’ll fix the deck myself.” I’ve gotten to know a thing or two about home repairs through my work on Shadowmoon. Everyone needs a hobby. Restoring Shadowmoon is mine — when I’m not hunting, that is.

Ace remains silent, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have something to say. Ace is calculating, he speaks with precision and authority. And right now I wish he’d fucking tell me what it is he wants from me.

He positions himself in front of me and trails his eyes and fingertips across my skin, snarling when he finds a bruise or a cut. Goosebumps break out along my skin in the wake of his touch and my nipples pebble and harden instinctively with arousal. His touch is soft, warm, and electric. It’s addicting.

His knuckles brush the side of my breast as he descends down my side towards my hip where he releases a heavy groan at the sight of an angry purple and yellow bruise.

“Come.” He speaks at last.

Hell, any longer under his touch and I very well may.

He leads me by the hand down the hall towards the bathroom where he promptly starts the shower for me as I stand there waiting to figure out what he expects to happen.

He fingers the delicate straps of my bra that lay across the tops of my breasts while eyeing the tattoo over my heart. Just once his fingers brush against my nipple, hardening it further and sending a jolt of desire down to my core.

“What happened at Lobo?” He asks.

“Noth—“ I stop mid word when he cages me in against the sink counter.

“Death has no secrets, Solana.” He challenges me to disobey him.

“It’s funny, Tate said the same thing today,” I say softly. “But like I told him…I’m not a part of Death. I’m not beholden to your rules.”

He doesn’t take my bait. The fucking pillar of control he is. He patiently waits for me to answer him truthfully.

“There was a brief lockdown. But we were able to hide and get out without being seen. That’s it.”

“And what about what happened in the yard?” He casually slips my bra strap off my shoulder but makes no other move to undress me further.

“I’ve already told you the abridged version once. Besides, if what you say is true, that Death has no secrets, then you should already know exactly what that was all about.”

I expect him to be frustrated with my insolence, to try to pry it out of me, but instead he nods sadly. “That’s true. I do know. But I wanted to hear it from you.”

I’m not easily scared or surprised. I run on neutral, never straying too far emotionally in one direction or the other. Feeling opens you up for pain and disappointment — it’s easier to be numb.

But if what he says is true, and he knows everything…I can’t see him wanting me or Hunter around much longer.

Ace lowers his head so it’s resting on my shoulder and he releases an exasperated groan. I can hear the counter behind me cracking under the force of his grip. He nuzzles his nose along my shoulder and the crook of my neck just before I feel him bite into me.

I half whimper, half moan at the feeling. He didn’t bite me hard enough to mark me and the indentations of his teeth will heal in a few minutes. His tongue drags across the spot where he bit me only once before he pushes himself away from me and turns towards the door.

He looks back at me from over his shoulder and says, “the shower is yours. Take all the time you need.”

My hands fist my hair in frustration, he’s impossible to understand. I can sit here and pretend like the matebond is immaterial to me, but it’s not. Against my better sense I’m drawn to him, drawn to everything about him. His unyielding self-control, his power, his scent. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel things for the others.

This entire house is full of forbidden fruit. It’s like being a cock in the henhouse but in reverse — a hen in the cockhouse. And there are five cocks to choose from.

It was only a glimpse but I did sneak a peek at Eli when we were on the yacht and the brief glimpse I got was impressive. If what he did there to my body was pretend I can only imagine what it would feel like if it were real.

Then today when Tate held me in his arms — whether we were flying or sitting on the back porch I felt safe in his arms, I felt like if he had pressed his luck I might have given him more.

There’s no denying my attraction to Ace and Hunter. I may be mad as hell at Hunter and irritated with Ace’s lack of acknowledgment of our bond— for better or for worse— but there’s a part of me that will always be drawn to them, always be theirs. I will always remember how Hunter felt inside of me, I will always yearn for Ace’s electrifying touch that sends jolts of desire coursing through me.

Dean is the only one I haven’t spent as much time with, but he’s undeniably attractive with his light brown hair and cool, grey eyes. And if he’s anything like his brother then I’m truly out of my depths here.

Before I know it, my soapy hands glide sensually over my breasts, tweaking my nipples softly imagining it’s the lips of one of the guys. I lather soap over my stomach and hips, inching towards my thighs and sex.

I slip a hand between my thighs, catching my pussy’s lips gently between my fingers and dragging my hand back so my middle finger rubs along my clit.

I repeat the action, pressing harder and harder on my clit with each pass pretending it’s Eli’s strong, coarse hands. As I rinse my body I slip my middle finger between my folds and into my entrance, curling my finger so it presses firmly against my front wall while I think about Ace’s competent fingers gliding over my body.

My finger pumps slowly in and out of me, no longer wet from the water but wet with arousal reminding me of all the times Hunter so easily slipped into me when we showered together.

I need more. I add a second finger, increasing my pace and using the heel of my hand to grind against my clit. While one hand works my pussy, my other hand squeezes and plays with my breasts. Thoughts of two of the guys doing this to me flood my core with liquid heat. What I wouldn’t give to feel Ace’s fingers circling my clit and Eli’s mouth on my nipples, or Hunter’s cock deep inside me and Tate’s tongue invading my mouth with his hands wrapped around my throat.

I reach a quick and intense peak which takes the edge off my arousal, but doesn’t completely satisfy my desires. To do that I would need more than my own fingers, I need someone’s warm thickness filling me up, someone’s cock for my walls to pulse around.

When I exit the shower there’s a small, plain black box with a note stuck to the top which reads:

I didn’t realize you like to play.

I wrap myself in a towel, grab the box, and dash to Ace’s room to get changed and find out what’s in the box, choosing to put aside how someone entered and exited the bathroom while I was showering without making a sound.

Once I’m safely behind closed doors I lift the lid to reveal a small, pink, bullet shaped device. When I press the button at the top it begins vibrating gently.

It’s a sex toy. A vibrating sex toy. Only, the ones I’ve seen before usually have a remote but the bullet vibe was the only thing in the box.

I wipe the toy with my towel and start tracing my pussy’s lips with it. Arousal sparks anew in my core, making my thighs clench together with anticipation. The bullet slips easily into me and the vibrations are ten times more stimulating internally than they feel externally.

Now this could give me the peak I desire. I decide to leave it in while I get dressed in casual cotton shorts and a tank top. I press the button on the end again and the vibe pulses in a new pattern eliciting a needy moan from my lips. Ace’s lingering scent is swirling around me but I need more. I want to imagine what it would be like to be completely immersed in his scent as if he were the one working me up right now, so I slip on one of his white tees and lose myself to my senses.

Smelling him, feeling the buildup in my core…

“Hey, Tate and I are — mm, hello sunshine.” Eli comes bursting through Ace’s bedroom door and my face flushes crimson since the bullet is still pulsing inside of me.

“Hey,” I say breathlessly before clearing my throat to pull myself together and not give myself away, “sorry, Ace isn’t here.”

“That’s okay, you’re easier on the eyes anyway,” he smirks and sends me a wink. “Come on downstairs, Dean’s about to embarrass himself in the kitchen.”

When my brow creases in confusion Eli elaborates, “Dean insisted on making dinner, but he can’t cook for shit.”

“Hey, asshole, I heard that!” Dean calls from further down the hall outside Ace’s room.

Fuck. I’m going to have to go downstairs and suffer through dinner with this fucking thing driving me wild. Maybe in a little bit I can sneak off into the bathroom. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I can survive a few minutes.

Dean isn’t as hopeless as Eli made it seem, he’s just terribly disorganized and horrible at multitasking. “Let me handle the sauce, you focus on the pasta,” I offer to help him, giving him the easier of two jobs.

Having something to do helps draw my focus away from the torturous humming inside my walls. I’m just about done seasoning the sauce when the pulse setting of my vibe changes. My tasting spoon clatters loudly onto the counter, splattering sauce everywhere.

“I’ve got it sunshine,” Tate comes over and wipes the counter down with a dish towel. “You okay? You look flustered.” He lowers his voice to ask me.

“Yeah, no, of course. Everything is fine.”

“Good.” He fails to prevent a shit eating grin before dipping his hand into his pocket. Again, the speed of the vibrations increase and my eyes fly up to meet his mischievous, ice blue eyes. “This is shaping up to be quite the dinner.”

That fucker! He has the remote and he knows he has me in the palm of his hand. Literally.

“Pasta is done!” Dean announces proudly. Tate’s smirk remains plastered on his face as he walks away to set the table.

Gods help me.

I set the sauce in the center of the round table next to the pasta and take the empty seat between Dean and Eli directly across from Tate. The guys fall into easy conversation as they serve themselves food.

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” Ace asks, his deep voice washing over me.

“Yup, Tate confirmed it yesterday.” Hunter responds.

I’m sitting on the edge of my seat trying any position I can to reduce the stimulation to my hot spots but to no avail. Tate switches the mode every few minutes and each time it becomes more and more difficult to eat through the sensations.

“Good. Solana is going with you.” Ace tells Hunter and when Hunter shakes his head silently begging Ace to reconsider, Ace’s Alpha calling steamrolls over us causing an embarrassing whimper to sneak out of me.

I’m slowly building towards release, patiently building up pressure before I explode in euphoria. Ace takes note of my flustered state, I can feel his gaze on me like a laser on a sniper rifle. I don’t dare meet his eye but I’m sure my arousal is written all over my face.

I can’t even speak to protest going with Hunter tomorrow because if I open my mouth the only sounds I’ll produce are moans.

Eli and Hunter are already on their second helping but I’ve barely eaten anything at all which Dean points out.

“Not hungry, Sol?”

“Hm? Oh, no it’s not that,” Tate switches the pulse again and now I’m white knuckling my chair, my orgasm imminent. “My sister won’t stop calling,” lie, “so my mind is just elsewhere.” Another lie.

“Go call her now, I’ll keep your plate safe from the wolves.” Dean grins but Eli and Hunter snicker at his mockery of them.

I nod in agreement with Dean, anything to get away from here. I stand up so fast that my chair practically topples over, then I bolt out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

I throw myself into the first room I find. Originally I was going to remove the bullet, but I’m so close to the edge I’m considering allowing Tate to push me over. I’m still debating my options when the door opens and Tate appears in front of me.

He puts his index finger to his lips to keep me quiet while he shuts the door silently behind him and flips the lock. Then his mouth curls up into a wicked Cheshire Cat grin, “calling it quits?”

My mouth opens to respond but he uses that exact moment to increase the speed on the vibe and any response I had collapses in my throat and comes out as a moan.

“Tate,” I whisper breathlessly but I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if I want to keep playing or to end the game.

Tate takes slow steps towards me, backing me up against the wall by his bed, but he doesn’t touch me.

“Do you like my game, sunshine?” He asks me, keeping his voice low.

I’m panting now, he’s so close to me and I’m so close to the edge that I’d beg him to touch me if it came down to that.

“I know you want me to touch you, sunshine. Your eyes tell me everything. But I can’t.”

He increases the speed again and I moan louder.

“Shh, Solana. Ace would kill me if he knew what we’re doing. He forbade us from touching you. But I don’t need to touch you to make you feel good, now do I?”

“Tate, please,” I whimper, my core reaching critical mass.

He turns the pulse up one last time and it’s my undoing. I come undone, my walls squeezing around the bullet inside me. Tate slowly turns down the speed, dragging out my orgasm and making it last for what seems like forever.

When my pussy finally stops spasming and my breathing returns to normal, I open my eyes to Tate’s baby blues.

“Did you have fun, Solana?” His words drip with dark desire.

“Mhmm,” is all I can manage in response.

Tate beams at me, then he slides the remote control into my shorts’ pocket. “I’m glad you decided to play,” he whispers and then disappears into the hallway.