Envious Desire

Axle

Glass shattering reverberates off the walls.

“FUCK!”

How the hell is a police line busy? My fingers practically rupture the plastic buttons attempting to dial Ivy’s number… again!

Still fucking busy! What the fuck is she doing all day? Slamming the receiver down, I let out a fierce growl to relieve my frustration.

Departing from Dominic’s establishment lacking a form of communication was nonsensical. He’s remained hushed since our encounter last week. FUCK! Frustration boils over as another glass flies through the air.

My enraged orbs veer towards the door, observing it ease open, revealing Victoria in the entryway.

“WHAT!” I roar with unintended vexation.

In silence, her form speeds in my direction. Unsure of her intentions, my arm flies up to keep her at bay.

Her response… arms wide open to embrace me, “No, don’t touch me Vic!”

Disregarding my demand, I’m embraced, coated in love, triggering my emotions to surface. My once flame bursting eyes now blur in an instant.

“I know Axle. I know. It’s tomorrow,” her serene voice prompted my chest to jolt.

With strain in my voice, “She’s supposed to be here. I was supposed to whisk her away, be the reason her mesmerizing smile caused her cheeks to hurt. This was supposed to be an unforgettable birthday, a memory for a lifetime.”

Attempting not to allow my emotions to overflow, I welcome anger to consume my veins. As if well aware of my actions, her embrace tightens, diminishing the rage.

“It’s okay Axle. It’s okay to feel the pain. You miss her. We all miss her,” her tranquility infiltrated my ears while outrage seeped through my pores washing at the shores of my raging hell.

“I cannot accept anything other than the knowledge that she will return, alive and well. Anything else is unacceptable.”

“Then that’s what we’ll believe, honey. She’s alive and she will be with us again. She’ll be back in your arms in no time.”

Conceding, I embrace her, allowing the multitude of love she’s inclined to bestow upon me. Our grasp remains for a few pleasant moments before she vocalizes once again.

“I need you to leave Axle. Leo is waiting for you downstairs. Complete what I’ve arranged for you. You’re going to take the rest of the week off and leave everything to Jordan.” Receding she bores into my awe stricken eyes.

“I can’t Vic,” unable to steady my gaze, my orbs seek the floor.

Grasping my face on either side, our eyes connect, “Yes you can and you will,” she imparts that motherly look of death, not to defy her.

“It will drive me mad… the time to think of… unspeakable things.”

Her tone shifts, “Do you think Chloe would want this? You! Ruining everything you’ve built? Don’t you recall, in her interview? She said her desire was to work for an establishment such as yours, that provides assistance to others. That’s your company! That’s what you’ve built! Do you think for one second she would approve of you running it into the ground! Just because she’s unable to witness it at the moment? I think she’d be disappointed in you!” Agitation was evident by her enraged, wild eyes, arms flying in the air.

I felt a stab in my heart, “Vic.”

“No! Let me finish. She would be furious, just like the rest of us. You have done amazing work here Axle. You can’t undo everything you’ve worked so damn hard for!”

Her harsh tone shifted, “And besides… when she returns, do you think she would appreciate this becoming shit?”

Blinking back in awe at her words, she’s correct. I have to prepare for when she resurfaces. Offering one stern head nod, swallowing my anger, allows for hope to trickle in my veins. I’ve been so consumed with lividity since this all transpired, I haven’t even contemplated life after her return but IF.

“Now go. We got it from here. Your company will still be standing and even stronger when you return.” The edges of her lips curl, causing mine to barely follow suit.

I admire this woman. She’s one of the few that can give me a swift kick in the ass, making me comprehend what everyone has been attempting to accomplish with me.

Heading out to the car, Leo is awaiting my arrival. Resting in the backseat, the gravity of my loss weighs on my chest. Removing my phone, I scan every picture I’ve ever captured of her, committing every curve of her beguiling face to the rolodex of Chloe in my mind.

The drive up was uneasy, a hurricane of emotions flooded my senses, from delectation, resentment, despondency, outrage to a complete lack of sensation. This is unfamiliar to me, I’m dubious of managing my emotions at the moment.

At last, peering out the window, I’m clueless as to where I’m headed. I had no inclination to even research it as I was solely consumed by recollections of Chloe.

Arriving at my destination, I’m in Malta, New York, perpendicular to a warehouse. Where the hell did Vic send me?

“Mr. Cross?”

Twisting towards the voice, a young man waits by a door. I nod my head acknowledging his inquiry.

“Hi, welcome to the Relief Room. Follow me,” waving his hand in the air, I trail behind him.

Entering the building, the area is spacious, laced with tables and a counter in the corner. Handing me a paper at the credenza, “Please read through and sign our release form.” Scanning the paper, I sign without hesitation.

“Today you’ve booked the Outraged Package. That’s 4 buckets of 5 gallon breakables, 4 medium items and 1 large item. We can add extra items upon request at an additional cost.”

“Please put on the protective gear. When in the room, keep your glasses on at all times to protect your eyes. Along the wall are multiple items, such as bats, crowbars, pipes, etc. When switching to another weapon, please place them back on the wall before you begin destroying items again. Do you have any questions?”

Shaking my head, alerting him, no queries are necessary. Grabbing the gear, I conceal my body, cover my hands, place the glasses on my face, shadowing him to a room.

“Enjoy the hour,” the kid flashed his pearly whites as he disappeared from the premises. Closing the door behind him, I peer around the room. Buckets of items, bowls, plates, liquor bottles, cups, a microwave and what looks like a 55 inch screen TV. Two tables for me to place items on and a wall laced with weapons to choose from, pipe, bat, crowbar, sledgehammer. Hmm, nice choices.

Undecided on my next course of action, I gawk at the items for a moment, contemplating how this will help when I acquire a glass cup from the bucket. This is familiar, hauling it in the air, I felt a small ounce of relief. Flinging a plate, adrenaline spikes, glass item after glass item shatters liberating my fury on everything I lay my hands on.

Arranging a few items on a table, I reach for the bat, swinging away, shattering every piece. This feels incredible! Placing more items on the table, anger creeps up my back. Releasing a roar with the next few items I’m made aware of the vein pulsing in my neck.

“FFUUUCCCKKK!”

Grabbing the sledgehammer, I attack the microwave, hit after hit, discharging the ferocious animal within me, craving to rip apart the very person who tore Chloe from my life. Twisting my head, red consumes my eyes, the TV.

Bulldozing straight for it, wielding the sledgehammer, I deliver my fury, one stroke at a time. Roaring with each strike, demolishing the TV into pieces, shards fly through the air; my savagery is evident. Unable to withhold my frustration, I catapult the remains against the wall, when suddenly I’m overcome by the emotions I’ve been unwilling to acknowledge.

Exhausted, I lean back, wall stopping my fall, guilt devours me. I botched the only job I gave my word to perform… her protection. And now… she’s vanished never to be seen or heard from. Slithering down the wall, canopying my face, I finally allow the emotions I’ve been so adamant on turning a blind eye to, to surface.

With wet hands, I make my declaration, “I’m sorry Chloe. I’m sorry I failed you.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Axle’s guilt has possessed him. 😢😢

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