Endless abyss of unspoken words (Poetry)

These scars haven't healed and never will,

It goes and comes back around like a mill,

If I could only get rid of those scars,

My soul is shattered deep inside,

In the end, I just wanna take what is mine,

If you knew the abuse, accuse and misuse,

Maybe you'd understand

I am broken inside,

Painful memories slicing my heart into half,

Grief surrounds it all around

And you'll never know how much it hurts,

Come, let me take what is mine,

my heart; you shattered into glass

Give it back so that I can mend it

These painful thoughts,

If I could send them back to you,

Would you realize how much it hurts,

This is a new pain,

A pain that won't disappear,

I feel it every day,

Send it away, don't let it stay

I want to move on, but I just can't

Those memories cut deeper than the knives,

And the pain reflects in my eyes

I am tired of keeping quiet,

But I just can't say it,

It hurts deep inside; probably always will

It's my fault and could've been avoided,

My bottled emotions are loaded,

But I must remain speechless

If you knew my pain would you get it,

I have to go through this every day,

Why did you abuse me,

You don't know or realize,

It's in my heart; on the surface

I put a lock on my soul

'Cause I shouldn't give you the block,

Others will think it too,

Is it abuse, misuse or both

Only if someone understood,

But I can't speak,

And I can't understand

Please save me from this nightmare

I tell myself it never happened

And it was very sudden

Can't you see how much I cared

How I was so rare,

They say unspoken emotions create depression,

And I've been there,

Seems that these memories I can't forget

I tried to save myself from the pain,

Why is it still there, then?

I walked through the rain,

The monster that deserves to die,

Wishing I could cut these chains and fly,

I have drowned in my tears; made from my deepest fears,

I didn't know who I am anymore,

Once happy, once sad,

I thought that I am going mad,

I didn't want to send them, but I did, for you

I didn't want to make them, but I did, for you

And you just threw it all away

Till it was leave or be left

It felt like the fault is mine,

I shut my mouth and just cried

I cried every day, till my cheeks were dried,

Overthinking, wanting to die,

This hurts; I wish I had never done it,

There's no justice,

The tears come again,

Hitting the ground,

They no longer make a sound

You never loved me

It was all fake

You only wanted to see

How much can I take

I should not have stayed because

You didn't care

What you did still hurts; probably always will

I can never be the same

For you, it was probably only a game

These words will be buried deep inside

Stay and watch it kill me

A paper full of words; nobody will read

That's okay

I just wanted to say

I'm not a toy

I have feelings

Please don't hurt me

I just wish to be happy

I don't desire to die

Don't cause me to

Please be nice to me

Don't

Let

Me

Break

Again