Ember of Hope

A group of four guys from college football team was there and they had approached Raegan and Sarah and asked to sit with them… so they had… and had really enjoyed the company. And afterwards all six of them had danced until they couldn’t breathe anymore. The guys were good and respectful… all of them… which was a pleasant surprise. Because the football team in their high school was made up of the worst kind of jerks. They had enjoyed with these guys. Contact numbers were exchanged with the promise of meeting again during the vacations.

After gulping down shots, ogling every pretty boy in vicinity, and dancing like maniacs… they stumbled out of the club laughing their asses off because Sarah was just hit on by an under-aged cutie with a fake id. Now that they were headed home Raegan was becoming nervous because she knew Sarah would blow a gasket when she told her what she had planned.

Both of their fathers were partners in their jewelry business and friends… so were their mothers. So naturally Sarah and Raegan became friends as well, having been born only a couple of months apart. She had never really needed another friend because she had Sarah and now she was going to ditch her to fulfill her own dream. With no idea whatsoever about how she was going to broach the subject, Raegan blew out a breath and decided to just go with the flow.

Once inside her apartment they took turns taking a shower and changed into sweats. And apparently Sarah hadn’t forgotten about her comment to have a talk about something because she said, “So what did you wanna talk about?”

“Nothing.” She chickened out.

“Okay, then why are you pacing around making my eyes hurt and wringing your hands?” Sarah said narrowing her eyes… her arms folded across her chest in her typical interrogation style.

Gathering up courage Raegan sat on the opposite corner of the bed from her best friend who would soon grow claws. “Please don’t kill me but I need a favor”.

“I’m listening”.

“I’m not coming with you guys on the trip.” She replied, lifting her arms in front of her face to ward off the attack which was going to come as soon as her news set in.

“Come again?” Sarah said very slowly.

“Look, it was a very big and once in a life time opportunity. I just couldn’t let it go. It’s an expedition with James Hunt, Sarah… James freakin’ Hunt. You know how big of a sucker I am for that guy. I signed up for it before our plan and I didn’t think my application would even get the approval because it’s only 15 people from all around the States. But I got picked up and how can I miss it?” She turned pleading eyes towards her friend, willing her to understand.

James Hunt was a world renowned archaeologist who, at the age of 55, now led chosen archaeology students on tours to selected sites. And to get the opportunity to hike through the Appalachian Trail with him was just a cherry on top. So this trip to Virginia was one she just couldn’t miss. And now she had to convince her best friend to let her go and talk to her parents as well, who after Raegan’s parents died, had not let her feel alone at all, trying in their own capacity to fill the shoes of parenthood for her along with Sarah.

“Don’t make those puppy dog eyes on me missy they won’t do you any good. Did you even think about how hurt mom and dad would be?” Sarah tried guilt tripping her.

“Please dude, help me out here. I need you to handle them for me. You know I’ll blow it so badly. Please?” she pleaded.

“And why would I do that when you’re so blatantly ditching me?”

“Because you love me? Pretty please?” Raegan tried once again, “You know how important this is for me and also for my career”.

“Alright, alright… I’ll take care of mom and dad but what’s in it for me ditcher?”

“You name it and it’ll be done. I promise”. Raegan grinned as an idea came to her mind which, she knew, her friend would never be able to ignore, “what do you think about going to Vegas? Just you and me…” and as she had predicted; Sarah’s eyes gleamed with delight and Raegan knew that she had won.

“Honey I’ve got good news” a beaming Isabelle said ruffling her hair. “Mom” she protested.

“Finally your father managed to get some days off work and we’re going to the canyon. O baby we’re gonna have so much fun” Her mother squealed like a school girl. “It’s a whole week – starting tomorrow”.

She let out a shrill scream and launched herself at her mother who chuckled and wrapped her in a tight embrace. But when she pulled back, her mother was drenched in blood. And her father and little brother stood behind her also dripping blood.

Raegan’s eyes flew open and she shot up in bed; gasping for breath. Even in sleep tears had been slipping from her eyes and her t-shirt was soaked with sweat. She threw her covers away, needing a glass of cold water.

The dream – always so vivid – always so painful – siphoned her energy away. One of the most happy and at the same time most heart wrenching memories… the day she lost everything. She padded across her room to the bathroom and splashed some water on her face. Letting it trail down her neck and into her shirt. Sleep was out of question now.

She went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer, chugging it in big gulps while rummaging in the cupboards for cookies. Chocolate chip cookies were one of the best mood boosters in her life. And after that dream had sapped all of her energy, she needed loads of them.

Despite loving her family passionately, she always wanted to have her own space… she craved it. So her father had bought her this little intimate apartment. But now that she had it; she didn’t want it. Not at the cost she had paid for it.

Grabbing the cookie jar, she sat on one of the stools at the kitchen counter and played “if you could see me now” by The Script and allowed herself to wallow in her misery for the remainder of the night. Not a moment went by when she didn’t miss them… not a moment went by when she didn’t wish she was with them… gone – with them.

And although she really shouldn’t have because of the travel next day, that night she spent drinking away her misery.