Elegi Of Rose

She panicked like crazy. She didn't know what to do or how to act around her husband. It felt weird.

This is what I was talking about... she muttered inside her mind.

What to do now? What? She couldn't possibly walk up to him and say, "Hey, I think I'm in love with you. No, I'm certain I'm in love with you. And I don't want to get that divorce we talked about." That was what she wanted to say, and that was what her mind had been shouting since that phenomenal moment of realizing she was in love with her husband happened.

"Shit," she groaned, falling back on the bed.

"Yu?" Roy's voice called out from downstairs. "What?"

"I need help up the stairs," he said.

She went to her feet and walked to the top of the stairs. He was standing at the bottom, crutches and all. "I thought your therapist taught you how to use that thing when climbing up the stairs?" she asked. "Yes, he did. But I need help anyways," he beamed at her.

God, he's killing me right now. "Just... just climb up. I'm busy."

His smiled disappeared as he peered at her. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she snapped too quickly. "I'm okay. I'm just tired with all that driving."

"What did Herland want anyway?"

"He wanted to have dinner. I said no."

"Why?"

"Who would watch over you?"

"I can take care of myself."

"Like climbing up the stairs?"

He sighed. "Okay, fine."

She let out a breath and walked down to help him.

"What are we having for dinner?"

"I'm still thinking about it," she answered.

"You're still thinking about it?" he asked with amusement. "No offense, babe, but you only fry. What's there to think about?"

She stopped on her tracks and glared at him. "Do you want to know how it feels to stumble down the stairs?"

Roy chuckled but did not answer. "I'm hungry."

"I'll call for pizza. I can't cook right now."

"Why?"

"Because I'm tired, remember I told you that?"

"Fine. Pepperoni for me."

"Sure." She guided him further up the stairs and the moment they reached the top, she let him go and walked back downstairs. She could not stay upstairs alone with him. "Where are you going?"

"Calling the pizza."

"You can make the call from up here," he said behind her.

"And I'm gonna start on some painting!" she lied.

She knew he was looking at her curiously, but she chose to ignore it. Yes, that was it. She would be ignoring him for now.

She had to think.

*****

In the days that followed, she made sure she did not spend a lot of time alone with him. If she did not face her canvas all day, she would invite any member of their family to come visit. Risa and Ria were her constant companion. Just like now, they were having coffee at the back of the house.

"I don't understand why you can stay confined in this house," Ria spoke up, "it's too far away from the city, dear."

Risa nodded, "I agree. I understand that my grandson can stay here for eternity without going out, but you my dear, I admire you for it."

Yu smiled faintly. "I love it here. It's peaceful," she answered.

"Oh, well, I think it suits your artistic side," Risa said, sipping from her cup.

"Roy told me a long time ago when he bought this house that he was sure he would spend the rest of his life here," Ria informed them. "His father didn't like the idea of him working from home. It was actually the first time I saw him stand up for something where his dad was concerned."

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Curious, Ayu said, "I can't imagine Roy following orders."

"Believe me my dear, though I loved my husband, may he rest in peace, I didn't like how he treated my children."

Risa nodded. "That man was the total opposite of Reinold."

"He dictated Roy's life. And I was happy when my son was finally able to fight. Oh, it was fun to see them start fighting," Ria chuckled along with Risa. "Remember that girl he dated?" Risa asked.

"Yes, of course. Who was it? Tanya?"

"Why? What happened?" Ayu asked.

"Roy dumped her after he found out his father paid the girl to date him."

"That's impossible," she gasped. Who would have to accept money to date Roy? Anyone would jump at the sight of him!

"Believe me, it's true. I was mad when I found out," Ria explained. "Roy has never had a stable relationship ever since."

"And it shocked everyone when he announced he was getting married to you," Risa added.

"We have been prodding him to have a wife and start a family, there even came a point that he would not join us for any affairs just to escape."

No wonder he went to the trouble of buying a wife, she thought to herself.

"When he announced his marriage to you, we all thought it was just something he cooked up to stop us from pushing women at his direction," Risa added. "But I guess we were wrong. He really did marry you." "You suspected he was lying?" Ayu asked in disbelief.

"Yes, of course!" Ria answered instantly. "I know my son very well and I know he would do anything just to have what he wants."

"What changed your mind?"

"When he brought you to meet us," her mother-in-law said with a sweet smile towards her. "We finally got to see the face behind the name."

Ayu didn't know what to say. She was dumbfounded. Funny, Roy's family suspected he was lying but ended up believing his lies when they saw her. She must be a really good actress!

But then, just as suddenly, she felt an attack of guilt. There, sitting with her wearing their happy faces were two of the people she and Roy had been fooling. She didn't know if she could continue this charade she was having with her husband for a long time.

They don't deserve it, she said quietly in her mind. Since she met his family, she had been feeling guilty every time they met. But on the other hand, she doubted if she could make herself tell them the truth. If the time came that she and Roy would had to separate, she hoped they wouldn't hate her.

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Once again, the mention of the apparent separation crushed her, the feeling being new to her. When the day came that she would have to leave, she would not only leave the man she loves-she would also leave behind an amazing family. Risa was in the middle of saying something about Reinold's health when Roy came out the door, and as if she was allergic to him, she shot to her feet-an instinct she had developed for almost a week now-and said, "I forgot I need to call Yeyena about something," she didn't even know why she uttered Yeyena's name, her statement bringing a frown on Roy's features.

Ria and Risa never thought anything of her sudden exit, but she was certain Roy was getting annoyed.

"Are you, by any chance, avoiding me?" Roy's voice right behind her made her jump with a curse.

"What are you talking about? Of course not," she cried out in one sentence.

He looked at her like he was studying one of his papers and he couldn't quite get it. "I know you're avoiding me. Why?" Standing there with his crutches, she was thankful. That way, he couldn't stop her with his hands. "Don't you dare walk away, Ayu," he warned her as she took a step back.

"I need to call Yen," she lied. Shit. She felt like a junior high student having an undeniably intense crush on an older high school guy.

"I know you when you're lying," her husband told her matter-of-factly.

Really? That would be bad. "I'm not. I really have to call her."

He awkwardly took his phone from his pocket and handed it to her. "Then call her with this."

"Uh... it's private." The look on his face made her say, "Okay, I'll call her." And then, she slowly searched for Yeyena's name and punched the green button, looking at her husband innocently as she waited for the call to connect. "Hello?" Yeyena's voice was a whisper.

"Hey, it's me," she beamed, trying to think of something to say.

"Yu? I can't talk right now, I'm busy," and just like that, the line went dead. That was weird, she thought with a frown. Why was Yeyena whispering? And she sounded nervous.

"So?" Roy broke her line of thought.

"She said she's busy," she said, handing the phone back to her husband.

"What do you want to talk about anyway?"

"It's a secret," she answered and started to walk away.

"And where are you going now?"

"I need to shower, I feel sticky," she lied once again though she was sure he knew she was only giving lousy excuses.

"We need to talk about this problem of yours, Yu," he pointed out.

"Tomorrow maybe," she said over her shoulder. She had to really clear her mind and accept everything by tonight.