Duty, Honour, Love

Karasena and Mark hadn’t gone far, they walked together chatting in general about everything and nothing it felt natural to them. Karasena had a destination in mind. Her main worry was if she was doing the right thing, a thing that could get her court-martialled. Luckily for her Mark was out of uniform and dressed in colony issue checked shirt and jeans with a pair of short ankle length study boots. Mark made no comment as they walked into the lobby of Hawthorn’s one and only hotel. The lobby was pleasantly set out with tables and chairs. The walls were made up of polished wood panels with a beige carpet. The tables and chairs artfully arranged. There was no receptionist just and a panel with a list of rooms available. Karasena walked up to the panel and selected a room. Her comms registered her selection she was booked in now. She hesitated this wasn’t something she did on a regular basis. In fact she was winging it she never done anything like this before and probably never again.

“Come on,” she said to Mark and led him to the shiny steel door of the elevator. She found herself gripping his hand as they went up to the floor she’d selected.

Stepping out of the elevator they walked to the room. She let them in with her comms.

Once inside her bravado faded. The room was an ‘L’ shape with rose coloured walls. The bed was opposite the door and had a floral quilt. Flanking the door on one side was an armchair and on the other flank was a dressing table. Above the table was terminal/ screen combo. A second door led to a bathroom.

“Ok what is it you wanted to talk about?” Mark sounded mildly amused.

Karasena took a chance reached up to Mark and pressed her lips to his. There was a moment’s hesitation on Mark’s part before his hands snaked around her waist and he pulled her deeper into the kiss. She felt herself warm to his response. When she came up for air with her heart beating like a drum Mark spoke.

“I been wanting to do that for a while,” he spoke to her softly.

Inner conflict plagued her as she searched her soul for an answer. Her dream of the aravi field finally came back to her. It was almost prophetic and told what her heart already knew.

“This might be the only special moment we have?” she said to him. They both had duty to contend with.

Mark’s answer was to kiss her again. She took his hand and led him to the bed.

Karasena lay in bed in their hotel room post-coital bliss slowly fading. She was well aware had wanted this but a frisson of guilt remained. Mark lay beside her breathing softly. He wasn’t asleep he had his eyes open staring at the ceiling he had wanted this as much as Karasena had.

“Am I right?” she asked him.

“Right?” Mark said turning his head to look into her eyes.

“To do what we did?” Her mind was on the implications of her actions. He was officially her prisoner and she his captor although it didn’t seem that way to them.

“We both needed this,” his reply was simple.

Karasena had to ask the question to ask anything else would be meaningless. “Do you love me?”

His answer wasn’t even hesitant. “Yes with all my heart.” He paused. “I thought Kelli was the one?”

“Kelli?” Karasena felt a twinge of guilt.

“I’m sure I told you about her?” Mark sat up. “She left with her family because bigots were bullying her because she was T’Arni. I got angry and confronted the bullies. Unfortunately I was one against many. I fought the best I could but there were too many. When I got out of hospital she and her family had gone. I mourned her absence and grew angry with my father because he remained neutral. I wanted to make a difference so I joined the navy. I hoped to make the future better for families like Kelli’s.”

“Did you love her,” Karasena wanted his whole heart.

“Not as much as I love you.”

His words filled with hope for their future however brief it might be. “A girl likes to hear those words often,” she told him her heart easing.

Mark gave a chuckle. “You much more than a girl you’ve showed me that already.”

He turned more serious. “I’ve told you my history why don’t you tell me yours?”

“What do you mean by that?” Karasena asked cautiously.

“You’re not a native?”

“I was born on Lapros my parents factory workers.” Karasena felt a bit guilty about that she hadn’t spoken to her parents for a long time. They’d parted not on the best of terms. She’s told them about the officer that had molested her and they hadn’t believed her. No T’Arni would act like that. “I decided that wasn’t the life for me and I joined the CGF.”

“CGF?”

“Confederacy Ground Forces. I found I’d had a talent for admin and ended up in the twenty-third GF.”

“How did you go from a cushy job to a posting on the edge of Confederacy space?”

Karasena winced. “It wasn’t exactly my choice,” she admitted.

“Oh?”

“Look I don’t want to spoil the moment,” Karasena said as honestly as she could.

“I’ve been truthful to you?” he replied.

Karasena sighed Mark was right there shouldn’t be anything between them. Yet she was lying enough by not telling him about Dareia. “I had a superior officer who thought he could sexually molest me.” She shivered at the thought. It was why she started wearing underwear it gave her another layer of clothing between her and his wandering fingers.

“All Humans aren’t like that,” Mark responded instantly like anyone he’d thought the molester Human, T’Arni didn’t do that sort of thing.

“He wasn’t a Human,” Karasena replied. Mark definitely wasn’t the same his lovemaking had been gentle and considerate responding to her needs. Her former commander had taken every oppitunity to touch her up.

“And you’re the one they penalised?” Mark sounded angry.

“They covered it up because he was T’Arni and sent me here. They retired him.”

Mark got out of bed and faced the wall. Despite her anxiety she admired the way his body was shaped, muscles in all the right places.

“That’s so unfair,” he announced.

“I know,” she replied. “Please come back to bed.”

Mark nodded. “I’m sorry about that. We mustn’t let the past rule us.” He turned walked back and got back into bed. “I’ll always be there for you.” He kissed her tenderly.

She responded to his touch. Together they fell asleep worries of the world passing their heads.