SWNOVELS Duke: Chapter 33
My heart thumps wildly in my chest. I don’t want to be here anymore, but I don’t want to leave Juliette alone. Only dim lights illuminate the hall. It’s kinda spooky, especially since it’s so late at night. She shoots me a smile and gives me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Everything’s fine. They’re expecting us.”
“Are you sure we’re just supposed to go in there?” I grit my teeth, wondering who owns this place, if it’s the regular at the diner she’s been talking to or if it’s someone else entirely. She’s never pointed the guy out to me or mentioned any of her plans, so the suggestion that I tag along for a night of work to earn some quick money had come as a surprise.
“Yes. He told me to come in the back, for us to change into these outfits, then follow the long hallway to the room at the end.”
I tug ineffectually at the short hem of the skirt I’ve been provided, then when doing so exposes a sliver of my tummy, on the bottom edge of the shirt. I can’t win. I’m either going to be showing off my stomach or my thighs all night long. “And we’re just serving drinks?” I clench my teeth together to stop them from chattering while I totter down the hall in the highest pair of heels I’ve ever worn in my fifteen years. “Are we even old enough to serve alcohol?”
Juliette flips her dirty blonde hair over her shoulder and winks with a dainty shrug. “We’re serving drinks to a bunch of obnoxiously rich guys. It’s a private party, so I don’t think they care much about who is bringing around their drinks—or their age—so long as we keep them coming.” At my skeptical look, she groans out, “Lennon, it’s no big deal. And they’re supposedly great tippers. That’s why we’re here.”
I smell what I think is cigar smoke and hear a clamor of raucous voices and laughter coming from that doorway we’re heading toward.
“Nooo!” I shriek, flailing for several terrified beats of my heart, almost as if I’ve been tossed in the ocean and don’t know how to swim. My body launches upright a moment later. My eyes fly open. Confusion swamps me.
“Lennon.” A deep voice rumbles near my ear. “Wake up. You’re dreaming, Little Gazelle. No sleep-running from the bed.”
I suck in a breath. Blink. Turn my head to one side. Bear. It’s his big, warm hand on my back, steadying me. And to the other side, Duke and Mason watch me cautiously. Nervously. The three are blurry-eyed, like they’ve been asleep for quite some time, but they’re awake now, for sure. All because I can’t control my fucking memories while I sleep. The ugliness of my past creeps, slithers, and crawls to the forefront of my brain, bringing with it shit I don’t want to remember. Twisting my fingers in the sheets, I fight to calm the frantic thrumming of my heart.
My brain clicks, clicks, clicks something into place.
“The club. We have to go back,” I murmur in a hushed voice.
“Stella?”
I turn my head, staring into Duke’s eyes. “That hallway. In the country club. I’ve been there before.”
I’m so wigged out by my dream, I accept it when Bear tugs me back down to the mattress, but my body quakes and my head goes hazy, no matter that my guys are touching me, speaking softly to me, and surrounding me in a protective bubble where nothing could possibly do me any harm. I swallow hard. I know the truth now. That country club. It’s for sure where Juliette and I were that night everything went wrong. We worked an evening at that club. I don’t remember more than half of what transpired. I was out. I shudder violently.
Mason peers over Duke’s shoulder, reaching a hand over to put on my hip. “Kin, this isn’t about earlier, is it?” He’s been very upset about what went down with Hunter, and I hate that he’s now having to deal with my nightmare.
My mind flashes back to the bloody mess that was Hunter’s face. I shudder again, then meet Mason’s dark eyes, hoping that what I’m about to say reassures him. “I think it’s all connected, because Hunter is part of the OGs. But it wasn’t specifically about Hunter out by the pool … or even what he did to me after the auction.” My brow furrows. “At least, I don’t think so. And definitely not you, Mase.” I take in the naked fear in his eyes. “Never you.”
Bear kisses the top of my head, stroking his big hand over my hair. “Lennon, maybe it would help if you told us more instead of keeping it to yourself and letting it fester. What was the dream about?”
I draw in breath and sit up, turning around to face them, then inhale again, this time unsteadily, because the closer I come to spilling my guts, the worse this feels. “The hallway in the country club where we went before. The place where I had the panic attack?” Jesus, I hope my retelling of this dream doesn’t send me headlong into another meltdown. “I—” Covering my mouth with my hands, I shake my head before I drop them. “I feel sick just talking about it.”
“We’re clearly not sleeping anymore tonight.” Duke blows out a breath, sitting up with me, gently touching my shoulder. “Come on, baby. We’ve gotta know.” Mason and Bear scoot up to lean against the headboard.
My gaze seeks out Duke’s. “I wasn’t ever supposed to tell.”
His face pales the longer I stare into his eyes. My nightmares almost always have to do with Juliette. Fuck. Fuck me. I don’t want to tell him.
“You’ll feel better if you get it out, Stella Bella. Guaranteed,” Duke murmurs. I hope he’s right.
“And even if it’s shitty and awful, we’re here. For you.” Bear frowns, worry etching itself into his features.
I nod slowly, but when I don’t immediately say anything more, Mase secures his hand around my ankle, squeezing. “I’ve always got you. All of us do.”
“O-okay. I-I was in that hallway. With Juliette. I know I was.” I bring up a shaking hand, covering my lips again as I stare wild-eyed at Duke. “I-I’m sorry. I knew from what Mase told me that I was having dreams about her, but I hadn’t realized until now where we were in those dreams. I don’t know why it came to me now.” I smack the flat of my hand to my temple. “It’s all been locked up here.”
Before I can hit myself again, Duke grabs my wrist, lowering my hand. “Don’t.”
“Wait,” Bear frowns. “Do you mean you were at my dad’s poker night?”
My eyes widen in fear because this proves to me that I’m not imagining things. I whisper, “Poker?”
Groaning, Mason nods. “Yeah. Derek has run a huge poker night every Friday for as long as I can remember.”
I wince, my eyes landing on each guy in turn. “No one told me that’s what was going on inside the country club. You said you’d been summoned to talk to the OGs.”
On a heavy exhale, Bear shakes his head. “You’re right. We weren’t specific.”
Chewing on my lip, I shrug. “That’s what the rich men were doing at the place Juliette and I went. They were gambling and drinking. We were there to make money. Wait tables.” Through my explanation so far, Duke’s remained mostly silent. He’s let go of my wrist and now has a hold of the sheet, and I doubt if he realizes he’s wadding it up in his hands, squeezing so hard his knuckles are turning white. I exhale hard and reach for his hand. “Duke?”
He blows out a breath. “I need to know more. What else can you tell me?”
Oh god. Oh god. I really feel like I’m going to throw up now. I look down at my hands, grimacing. “I promised her.” A shuddery breath passes between my lips as my hands shake. “We made a pact. We said we’d never tell.” After several moments of silence, I lift my head to see all three staring intently at me. “I don’t know how to do this. I feel like I’m going to break.” Tears well in my eyes.
Mason looks at me dead-on. “Listen to me, Kintsukuroi. There’s a reason I gave you that nickname. You are strong enough. And if you break, if you shatter, we will put you back together. Piece by piece. Promise.”
I nod. There’s a buzzing loud in my ears, and I give myself a shake, trying to get it to stop. “They had us wearing these … revealing outfits. Kinda slutty, honestly. And these guys, they thought nothing of touching our legs or sliding their hands up under our skirts while we had our hands full of drinks.” I take a deep breath. “At one point in the evening, someone offered me a drink. And I was so nervous about what I should or shouldn’t do, I accepted and downed it. Really fast. Thanked him. Walked away.” Closing my eyes for a moment, I attempt to breathe deeply to calm myself, because I know what’s coming in my sick little story. “After that, I remember flickering lights. Certain smells. Cigars. Booze. Herky-jerky movement, like disjointed flashes of what was happening around me. Masks. I remember masks. But that’s it. Nothing to focus on. And then nothing. Just nothing.” My throat is so dry, I have to force a swallow. “Juliette and I woke up in her car in the parking lot of the diner, sick and with our heads pounding.”
Bear is the first to move, rubbing his hands over his face in disbelief. Mason grips his hair and tugs on it as he stares at me through wounded, worried eyes. And Duke … he’s still as a stone statue. Unmoving. Hardly even breathing.
“I …” I may as well tell them the rest. “We’re almost certain we were raped after we were drugged with whatever they slipped in our drinks. Juliette might not have been quite as sure as I was, but I—” I let a heavy breath stutter from me, and my cheeks flame red as my gaze travels to each of my guys in turn. “I’d been a virgin before that night, so—” Before I can finish, Duke has hauled me onto his lap, where he holds me so fucking tight I can hardly breathe.
He’s not exactly crying, but I can feel how affected he is by the jerking of his chest and the way his fingers dig into my back as he holds me. It’s as if he’s trying to reassure himself that I’m there in his arms. Whole. Unharmed. Alive.
Mason’s hands cup my shoulders, his lips finding the base of my neck as he whispers, “Kin, I’m so fucking sorry that happened to you. So sorry.” He wraps his arms around both of us, his warmth envelopes me as he curls around my back.
Bear kneels where he can look into my eyes. He touches a few fingers to my trembling chin. “Sweet girl, I hope you know this changes nothing at all. Not a damn thing about how we feel about you. You’re ours. And we’re yours. Until the end.” He leans in, taking my lips in the sweetest of kisses before putting his arms around all of us.
When I said those words, when I told them the truth, it was like all the air had left the room. But now, in their embrace and surrounded by their love, I feel strangely calm. Like I can take on whatever I need to. Because I know they’re in this with me. Forever.
After several minutes, Bear brushes a tendril of hair out of my eyes, then quietly asks, “Did you recognize anyone there that night? Have you met them since?”
“We never saw the guy Juliette had been talking to that I know of.” I suck in a harsh, wet-sounding breath. “But … I think Hunter was the one who came around after. To the diner. He kept an eye on Juliette. He was scaring her, but she didn’t know what to do.”
I get another flash of memory, this time a younger Hunter sidling up to Juliette before he left the diner. Touching her back. Whispering in her ear. My chest clenches. I should have done more. If I’d known what was coming … I would have.
Yesterday, Hunter had finally gotten a fraction of what he deserves. After the beating Mason gave him, the guys had taken him into the pool house and tied him up to deal with sometime later today. He’s in pain, I’m certain. Suffering. And he deserves every bit of it.
“Sounds like something he’d do,” Mason murmurs, a hint of anger lacing his voice.
I press my lips together. “I’m almost positive it was him. He would’ve been like twenty-one. So maybe a little thinner, and a slightly different haircut. But yeah. Had I met him before yesterday, I might have made the connection sooner.”
Duke presses kisses in my hair. “She was acting strangely.” And then, like he’s asking no one in particular … or maybe just himself, he whispers, “Is this why she killed herself?”
I don’t answer because I can’t do that for Juliette. My tears wet his skin, “Do you h-hate me for keeping quiet? I-I promised her. We s-swore to each other that we’d n-never tell. I didn’t know w-what she was going to do.”
“Never, Stella Bella. You’re not the one who’s at fault here.”
Sobs rack my body, and I hold onto the knowledge that Duke and Mason and Bear have me. No matter what. They have me.