SWNOVELS Dr. Brandt: Chapter 47
I walked Jessa out to her car, feeling that all hope for us getting back together was slipping farther away with each step I took. I wasn’t happy with the arrangement, but I had no say in it. I told her I would give her time to get things right for herself, and I truly meant that. Hell, I loved the woman; if I didn’t know that before, I knew that now.
Before, I might’ve taken this rejection as a fuck you and walked out of her life forever. But something told me to give her the time and space and allow her to heal. I honestly had no idea what she needed to heal from, but it wasn’t my place to question her feelings.
Jessa had always had a good head on her shoulders, so if something didn’t seem right to her, I trusted her instincts.
It’s not that I didn’t have the fight in me to win her heart back; it was that I loved the woman so much that I was willing to honor her request and let her go.
I just had to hope that whatever journey she was on would lead her back to me.
“Where’s Jessa?” Bree asked, taking a sip of her martini.
“A better question would be, why the fuck aren’t you with Jessa right now?” Collin said, sitting casually on Jim’s massive ass sofa that was situated in this room to do nothing more than offering a perfect seat to take in all the lights of Downtown LA.
“Ask your wife,” I said, grabbing a beer out of the bar fridge in the corner, my pathetic voice halting all conversation in the room.
“What happened, Cam?” Elena asked while I twisted off the top of the beer and worked to down the whole thing in a few gulps.
I wiped the back of my lips, everyone staring at me where I stood by the mahogany bar. I leaned back against it, elbow on the bar and legs casually crossed. I stared into the dark bottle, searching for words to say because I wasn’t really mad; I was just fucking confused.
“She doesn’t want a relationship,” I smiled at everyone in the room. “She needs to work on herself first.”
“The upside of that,” Jake started after a moment of silence, “is Warren is fucked, too, right?”
“I hope so,” I said, taking another drink of my beer. “Who the fuck knows? I’m confused as hell.” I pointed the top of my beer to where all my friends sat, staring at me, “I’m also sure that you all played some part in trying to get us back together. Sorry, that backfired on you.”
“All right,” Collin stood. “You’re not even drunk, and you sound like a man who’s been drowning his sorrows for a week. Fuck that. Yes, we were all trying to get you back together, and the best part is, she didn’t fully reject you,” he said, grabbing a drink from the bar. “She didn’t. She’s working on herself, and there’s nothing fucking wrong with that.”
“I know. I’m just confused. I have no idea—”
“Cam,” Elena said, joining her husband, “you need to understand that so much had happened in her life to cause deep trauma, even before you left her in college. I applaud her for having the strength to choose herself first. I applaud you for giving her that opportunity.”
“Well, thanks for the applause, Laney, but I don’t feel like this is something to celebrate.”
“It’s because you’re feeling sorry for yourself,” she hit back. “Seriously, this is not about you, Cameron. It’s about her. It’s about her being able to resolve some behaviors and things she’s afraid she will take into her next relationship. She will hurt that man, be it you or whomever else.”
“I just feel like she’s mine, you know?” I answered Laney as if it were just her and me sitting in her office in a therapy session. “It’s hard to let her go again, especially after I just got her back. We barely had any time together before everything went sideways, and now?” I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated, “Now, here we fucking are.”
“Remember what we talked about that day on that yacht,” Jim spoke.
I eyed him and then looked away. “Right.”
“Slow, go, and no,” he said. “Cameron?”
I felt like my dad was speaking through one of my best friends.
“Yep,” I said, hoping to end this.
The beer wasn’t helping, and neither was talking about this. I needed to get out of here. I wanted to get on my motorcycle and drive dangerously to feel the adrenaline surge through my veins, taking away all these emotions.
“You’re at a point where she’s said no,” Jim went on as if he had my full attention. “I’m guaranteeing that if you give her the space she needs, she’ll bump you into the slow range,” I turned to look at him, seeing that all of this may have a light at the end of the tunnel. “By that point, when she’s ready to move slow with you, support her. Be there for her and build on a friendship.”
“But tread lightly in Jim’s slow category,” Spence said with some humor, “because if she starts drawing the friend zone boundaries on your ass, you’re fucked, and you never make it to the go category.”
Jim rolled his eyes. “You would know, I’m sure,” he said. We all knew how Spence was. He proudly fucked ‘em and left ‘em. I was sure the man broke the friendzone laws and fucked those women, too.
“I’ve been in all sorts of categories that Jim loves pulling out of his ass with his relationship bullshit,” Spence said with a laugh.
“Yeah, no shit,” Jake said, laughing with Spence and then looking at me. “Okay, enough of this therapeutic bullshit,” he nodded at Collin. “Give her the space she needs. You’re a hot piece of ass, and whether you two ever tell your boy the truth, you’re an amazing father. I could go on and on about your sexy blue eyes,” he said, acting animated with his arms, “your tight ass, and those biceps that make me want you to fuck me like Elena fucked Collin with some dildo in Jim’s spare room earlier, but I have a much better idea—”
“The fuck are you talking about?” Collin asked, bringing to mind the lie I told Nat, who was conveniently in the kitchen with the rest of the ladies to avoid being around Spence. Lucky for Elena, she’d excused herself just before this started.
Jake held his hands up, “Not my thing, man. I’m not shaming you. If you like taking it up the ass so fucking bad that you’d do it at Jim’s house because you can’t even wait to get home? Hey, that’s your kink.”
“The only shit I’ve taken up my ass is your bullshit when I’m not in the mood for it. Other than that, I wouldn’t last a minute in prison,” Collin defended himself, and I couldn’t help but smile at how this lame lie had taken off.
“You’re letting Laney fuck you with a dildo in my house?” Jim said.
“Hell, it seems like marriage can be quite adventurous,” Spence stood, “but not enough to tempt me.” He walked over and patted me on my shoulder. “Hang in there. She’ll come back. They always do,” he chuckled. “I’m out, guys. My driver is here, and I have the Bartholomew project to tidy up first thing tomorrow.”
“When do you fly out to London?” Jim asked. “Those bastards at Green Gate are trying to come in hard on that deal, and I want them leveled. You’re the fucker who can get it done.”
“I’m not drunk enough to listen to you boss my ass around while I’m not on the clock,” Spence said, and then he looked over at me. “Seriously, let her go for now and focus on your boy. This will work out. It’s refreshing to hear that someone wants to fix themselves for a change. Sex will probably be even better for it, too.”
“Sex is always your end game and final thought,” I said.
“Yep,” Spence said, disappearing through the side door.
“And since your ass ain’t getting any, up it or near it,” Jake said with a mischievous grin, “we’re going out tomorrow night after work, taking your plane or the bikes, or whatever.”
“If I don’t get held over,” I said. “Work has been crazy.”
“Find a way to get out of there.” He looked at his brother, then me, “We’re not letting you bury yourself in your job like Jim did while he waited for Avery. We’re going to live, and yes,” he smiled wider, “the ladies already have a plan to help your lady live, too. It’s all taken care of.”
“What?”
Collin smiled, “This is going to be one long-ass bachelor party, and Jessa is going to have a long-ass bachelorette party, too.” He raised his glass of gin to me. “So, you’re welcome for Elena, knowing Jessa wouldn’t take you back immediately. Laney had a backup plan to keep her close, taken care of, and all but gift wrapped for you when she’s at Jim’s go moment.” He looked at Jim. “Where do you come up with that shit?”
“My wife owns a women’s shelter that helps in these situations, and I run a global empire, dickhead. So, this shit just rolls off my tongue,” Jim answered.
While the room settled a bit, I felt better about where all of this would go. Thank God Laney and the others would be there for Jessa as friends for whatever she needed.
After this pep talk, I felt solid. This would work, and like I told Jessa, I was here for her when she was ready for me. I just hoped it wouldn’t take forever, but I could play the friend game so long as it meant I could see her. And, of course, Warren’s ass could run back to New York City, where he belonged.