Double Lines

I look back at Tyler, who is looking at me for reassurance. Tyler has asked me about his daddy, but I’ve always told him he’s ‘away’ or ‘not here.’ Pathetic, I know, but I think he’s too young to understand my relationship with Ethan and how he was brought to life. I swore to myself that I would explain to him about his dad, but when he was older. I know I’m a terrible parent, but I had a timeline in my head. I wanted to tell him before he started primary school because there would be no stopping the questions then.

“Yes, this is your daddy, Tyler. Do you want to say hello?” I ask. Tyler shoves his face into my legs, making me chuckle at his shyness. I crouch down to Tyler’s level and gently sweep his hair in waves above his ear.

“That’s okay, Mikaela; he doesn’t have to say hello if he doesn’t want to,” Ethan says, but I can tell by his tone that he is disappointed.

“You don’t need to be scared, Tyler. Daddy won’t hurt you, I promise. If he does, I’ll beat him up for you,” I whisper into my son’s ear. Tyler giggles and looks up at me with a smile.

“Sure you will,” Tyler teases. I fake a gasp and put my hand on my chest.

“I am so shocked, buddy! Do you not believe me?” I ask. Tyler’s laughing now.

“No, mummy.”

I watch as Tyler grins, giving Ethan a wave hello.

“Do you want to watch Thomas the Tank Engine with us?” I ask. Tyler nods enthusiastically and runs towards the couch, sitting smack bang between us. I grab the remote and find the GBC channel where all the Thomas episodes are kept.

“You like Thomas the Tank Engine?” Ethan asks Tyler as I click on an episode to watch.

“Yeah, but mummy doesn’t,” Tyler replies.

“Why not?” Ethan asks, looking at me.

“She thinks it’s a bad flue-sens.”

“Flue-sens?”

“Influence,” I correct.

“Why is that?” Ethan asks.

“Bully trains,” Tyler responds, engrossed in the episode he is watching. Ethan looks at me with one eyebrow raised. I hold back a laugh; It’s the same thing Tyler and David can do, and obviously, it’s a family trait.

“There was one episode when the rubbish train went past another train and got teased for his smell. So, the rubbish train spent the whole episode trying to change who he is so he can be more likeable,” I explain.

“Oh. And not just because of the character’s names, like the fat controller?” Ethan asks. I smile at that.

“They’ve tried to become a little more politically correct; I think he’s referred to as the thin controller now,” I remark.

“I always liked Postman Pat,” Ethan comments, which makes me laugh.

“Postman Pat is the worst postman in the world! His mail always comes late because of everything that happens in his day. I wouldn’t trust my mail with him,” I comment.

“Says something about the mail system there,” Ethan adds, and I nod.

“What about you? What did you like to watch growing up?”

“The Muppet Show. I loved Miss Piggy,” I smile.

“She was always beating up Kermit,” Ethan says.

“Yeah. Girl power,” I smile.

“Shh!” Tyler scolds us.

“Sorry,” I reply meekly.

We watch a few episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine, and I notice myself nodding off. Ethan’s taken the remote from me to click on the next episode before Tyler gets all cranky.

Yawning, I get up and head for the kitchen.

“Do you want another tea?” I call out from the kitchen.

“Hot cocklet!” Tyler yells out, making me chuckle. I love the way my boy speaks and how he pronounces some words.

“Yeah, thanks,” Ethan says, surprising me as he wraps his arms around my waist. I turn in his arms and place my hands on his chest.

“Wha?” I ask, a smile forming on my lips.

“Thank you,” Ethan says, his eyes not focusing on me.

“For what?”

“For raising our son. He’s a good kid,” Ethan says, punctuating his sentence with a chaste kiss on my lips.

“Are you trying to say I’ve done a good job?” I ask, fishing.

“Yes,” Ethan replies, capturing my lips with his own. We continue to kiss each other, and I can’t help but sigh within his warmth. Ethan smiles before pulling away.

“Will you be mine?” he asks. I furrow my brows.

“In what context? I come with a plus one,” I say. Ethan smiles again, his eyes hooded as he looks down at me.

“I want you both. Be mine. Be my girlfriend, partner…, or whatever you want to call it. Be mine, please?”

I pull away from him, giving him a pondering look. I see the desperation in Ethan’s face as he awaits my reply.

“I would love to be your… girlfriend, partner… whatever,” I grin. Ethan grins back, pressing his lips against mine before pushing his tongue into my mouth. I hum as I wrap my arms around his shoulders, heat spreading between my legs. Kissing him is something I enjoy and definitely don’t want to stop.

“Mummy, cocklet?” Tyler asks. I pull away from Ethan and see Tyler, who has joined us in the kitchen.

“Sure, one moment, buddy,” I say, straightening my shirt. I picked Tyler up and put him on the bench so he could sit and watch me make our drinks. Ethan watches me make mine and Tyler’s drinks, and I gather he does this so to learn how to make it himself.

“Tyler, do you want to show Daddy your room and train set?” I ask after our drinks are finished and placed in the dishwasher.

“Yes!” Tyler cries excitedly, grabbing Ethan’s hand and pulling him towards the stairs.

I smile as I let them go and walk over to hang out my washing that couldn’t go in the dryer. I walk into the family room afterwards and see Ethan playing trains with Tyler.

“Mummy, can Daddy stay for dinner?” Tyler asks once he’s noticed me. I look at Ethan, who is wriggling his eyebrows at me.

“Sure.”

<//\\//\\>

Ethan didn’t end up staying the night, claiming he didn’t have a change of clothes, no matter how much Tyler protested, but he promised he would be back the next day and take us all out for lunch, which excited Tyler.

I spent the morning vacuuming, mopping, doing general tidying, and preparing for the week. With only Tyler and me living in the apartment, I only had three loads of washing, so by lunchtime, I was done with all my chores.

The doorbell rang just after twelve, and Tyler took off for the stairs.

“No running,” I yell out as he heads for the top of the staircase. The last thing I need is for him to fall and end up in Emergency with a broken arm or worse.

“Hi,” I greet when I open the door.

“Daddy!” Tyler yells, wrapping his arms around Ethan’s legs.

“Hey there, buddy,” Ethan greets with a smile, picking our son up and giving him a hug.

“Hi, beautiful,” Ethan says, leaning over and kissing my lips.

“Hi,” I say again, stunned by how easy things feel with Ethan.

“Are you both ready?”

“I’ll just get my handbag,” I say, returning up the stairs. When I return to the doorway, Ethan is already outside, Tyler sitting comfortably on his hip, having a conversation. I stop and watch them together. I never knew how much I wanted to see this, the father of my child interacting and being with my child and showing that he enjoys every minute of it.

“Ready?” Ethan asks, breaking me from my thoughts.

“Yeah,” I smile, closing and locking the door behind me.

I moved Tyler’s booster seat from my car to Ethan’s and helped Ethan belt Tyler in.

“So, where do you want to go to lunch?” Ethan asks Tyler, turning his head to look at our son.

“Pancake on the Rocks!” Tyler says excitedly, making me laugh. Ethan looks at me with that one-eyebrow expression, and I chuckle.

“Tell Daddy why you want to go there,” I smile.

“Because it’s fun!” Tyler answers. I nod. Tyler loves Pancakes on the Rocks. It’s his favourite restaurant, second only to McDonalds.

“Pancakes on the Rocks it is, then,” Ethan agrees, entering it into his phone to get the directions.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been here before,” Ethan comments as we wait in line to be seated.

“Oh, you’ll love it,” I reply, thinking of the Devil’s Delight chocolate pancake stack I planned on having.

Our waitress greets us and takes us to our table, handing us our menus before leaving and returning with crayons and a colouring-in sheet for Tyler.

“Is this your first time at a family restaurant?” I ask Ethan as he watches Tyler spill the crayons on the table and select the colour he wants.

“Yeah… it was just me growing up, and my friends don’t have kids either,” Ethan admits. I nod and pass Tyler the kid’s menu.

“What do you want, buddy?” I ask, interrupting him from his focus.

“Funny Face,” Tyler says without bothering to look. I don’t say anything, just raising my eyebrows at him.

“Fine! Dino Nugs and Funny Face,” Tyler admits, returning to his colouring.

“What are you going to have?” Ethan asks me.

“Devil’s Delight,” I answer with a smile. Ethan raises an eyebrow, which I am quickly beginning to adore.

“I think I’m going to have the beef brisket…” Ethan begins.

“Really? You’re going to a pancake restaurant and ordering steak?”

“Well… what do you suggest, Ms. Dessert for lunch.”

I open the menu and look at the items.

“What about a savoury dish? Mexicana looks nice, or chicken mushroom?”

“Only if you have a savoury as well,” Ethan states. I shrug my shoulders. The savoury dishes are wrapped in crepes, so technically they're pancakes.

The waitress comes. Ethan orders the Mexicana while I order the Cheese and Mushroom, and we both order the Devil’s Delight for dessert.

“Afterwards, can we go to a store and get me a car seat for Tyler?” Ethan asks.

“Sure,” I say with a nod.

“Thank you for lunch,” I say again as Ethan stops his car in the car park behind the bakery.

“No problem,” Ethan smiles, getting out of the car and picking up Tyler, who had fallen asleep in the back.

Ethan helps me put Tyler to bed and then back down to put my car seat into my car.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” I ask him as we close my car door.

“No, I have things at home to do. But I’ll pick you up to take Tyler to Daycare tomorrow?”

“Sure,” I reply, shoving my hands in the back of my jean’s pockets. We had discussed on the way from the baby store that Ethan would come with me to drop Tyler off at Daycare, and then I would go with him to work. I know, I’m a sucker. But I could take public transport home, which I looked forward to doing.

Ethan walks up to me and wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me up against his body.

“Thank you for coming today,” he says.

“Thank you for taking us,” I smile back. Ethan nods, giving me a chaste kiss before letting go.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ethan says, waving to me before getting into his car. I nod and watch him leave. I hope I’ve made the right decision, letting Ethan into Tyler and I’s life. He’s not done anything to make me worry about him… yet.

My phone alarm goes off, notifying me that it is time to get up. I put it on snooze several times, and before I knew it, it was six o’clock in the morning. I get out of bed and check on Tyler, who is still in his bed, reading.

“Hey buddy, what are you doing?” I ask. My son has just turned three and can’t read properly yet.

“Reading,” Tyler states.

“Yeah, what are you reading?” I ask, walking into his room.

“Green sheep,” Tyler says, showing me the book ‘Where is the Green Sheep.’

“What is it about?” I ask. I know, I said he can’t read, but he enjoys looking at the pictures. Tyler tells me about the sheep in the story: one in the bath, one on the moon, and the green sheep asleep at the book’s end.

“Daddy is going to pick you up for Daycare in forty minutes. We should get ready,” I tell Tyler once he finishes his story.

“Daddy’s coming!” Tyler yells, throwing his book across the room and running to his wardrobe to find his clothes.

“Hey! Don’t throw your books!” I scold.

“But Daddy!” Tyler complains, giving me a look.

“And Daddy won’t be happy if I tell him you threw a book across the room.”

I watch Tyler’s eyes begin to water, and I can tell he's about to cry.

“But if you put the book away nicely, then I won’t tell him,” I state. Tyler nods and carefully picks up his book, placing it back on his shelf.

“I’m sorry, mummy,” Tyler apologises, walking up to my legs and burying his head between my knees.

“That’s alright. Go get dressed and meet me downstairs for breakfast,” I say.

“Okay!” Tyler grins, running back to his wardrobe to change. I smile, return to my room and change into a black shift dress with black ballet pumps, before heading for the kitchen.

I pack Tyler’s bag just in time for the doorbell to ring, making it to the front door five minutes later.

“Good morning,” Ethan greets as the door opens.

“Good morning,” I greet back, just as Tyler yells out, “Daddy!” and wraps his small arms around Ethan’s legs. I shake my head, astounded at how quickly Tyler has taken to his father. Maybe I was wrong; maybe Tyler wanted to know who his father was, and how he acts around Ethan shows how much he missed having a dad.

“We should go,” I smile, loving watching Ethan pick up my son to give him a cuddle.

- edited