SWNOVELS Doppelbanger: Chapter 1
I LOVE MEN. Young men. Ones who aren’t looking for anything more than a good time. Cuz I am nothing if not a good time. I’m what a lot of people in this hole-in-the-wall town refer to as a cougar. Well, let the busybodies talk. I’m not fucking anyone’s husband or daddy. I like ’em completely unattached—preferably with a nice-sized dick and just enough experience to know how to use it.
It’s not that I have anything against guys my own age, or even older men. It’s just that I’m not looking to settle down. Ever. And at thirty-five, there aren’t many guys my age who are still single and aren’t looking to plant their asses in one spot and put down some roots. You can think of me more like moss—mobile.
I don’t have commitment issues, and I’ve got nothing against children. I just can’t have them. That kind of puts a damper on the whole roots situation. The last thing I need is some guy fancying himself in love with me and giving up his dream of a family, then resenting me the rest of our miserable existence. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
This isn’t my sob story, and I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. I won’t go as far as to say I’m okay with it, but it is what it is, and I’ve accepted it. Might as well make the most of my situation and have a little fun while I’m at it. Am I right?
To settle my biological clock, which to my dismay did not break along with my useless female organs, I’m super close to my godsons. My best friend Spencer and I raised them together until she married her high school sweetheart, Cooper, two years ago. At this very moment, they’re adding two little girls to our brood. And I’m on my way to the hospital with her fifteen-year-old twins, Lake and Landon, and their four-year-old son, Kyle, a.k.a. Savage, to meet their new sisters.
“Auntie Gigi?” a curious little voice calls from the back seat.
“Yes, Kyle?”
“How did my sisters get inside Mommy’s tummy?” Oh, shit. No matter how I answer this, I know I’m going to wind up getting myself into trouble. A cold sweat breaks out across my forehead, and my heart rate kicks up a notch.
Just when I’m about to hammer the nail into my own coffin, Landon jumps in, saving me from myself. “Your daddy put these little seeds, called sperms, inside of the eggs in Mommy’s tummy, and the babies grew.”
Sighing with relief, I glance over to the passenger seat at my teenaged hero. “Thanks, Landon.”
“No problem, Aunt Gina.” He shakes his head, his lips curling into a little smirk.
“Is that how I gotted in Mommy’s tummy too?” Savage asks his brother, who in turn clears his throat loudly.
“Well, no…Because, you know how Cooper adopted you?”
I watch as Kyle’s head nods through the rearview mirror.
“Well, a man named Alex put his sperm in Mommy’s egg, and you grew in her tummy.”
Realization dawns on his little face. “And let me guess…that asshole Tate putted his sperms in her eggs to grow y’all?”
The boys burst into hysterics as I bite down on my lips, fighting to contain my own laughter. I should probably make it known right away that there is a damn good reason we all refer to Kyle as a savage.
“Well…” A choked laugh escapes my pursed lips as I maneuver my little Audi into a spot in the hospital parking garage. “I don’t think any of us will argue with you on that logic.”
This line of questioning continues as we navigate the halls, trying to find our way to labor and delivery. It’s all very sweet and innocent until he drops the atomic bomb. “But, Auntie, how did all those men get their seeds in my mom’s tummy?”
My throat dries up, and I’ve suddenly lost the ability to move my feet. My hand lifts to scrub over my face.
“Yeah, Gigi,” Lake encourages, clearly delighted by this question. “How did allll those men get their sperm in there?”
My eyes narrow to little slits. “You are dead to me,” I growl.
Lake and Landon flank my sides, their arms crossed on their newly muscled chests, awaiting my downfall. I can feel their beady blue eyes burning holes through my cheeks. “Well, umm. You see…the sperm are stored in little uh…compartments called testicles, and when a man wants to make a baby with a woman—usually his wife…he can shoot them into her vagina with his penis…like a water gun.”
Spit flies from their evil teenaged mouths as they fold over, laughing. Fuckers. “Don’t either of you ever ask me for another thing, ever again. I swear to God,” I hiss, realizing we’ve stopped right in front of Spencer’s room. I shoulder past the still-smirking boys and push the door open before Kyle can ask any more questions.
§
My eyes well up when we step inside. Spencer’s mom, Mrs. Elaine, is on the sofa fawning over the little pink bundle cradled in her arms. Cooper’s mother, Nelly, is right beside her with an almost identical package. The scent of baby lotion fills my nose as I lean in to kiss their little foreheads on my way over to squeeze my bestie. “You look beautiful, Spence. How are you feeling?”
“Amazing and awful and tired. But mostly wonderful.” She is glowing, despite the dark circles beneath her eyes.
“Savage, my man!” Cooper calls out, rising from the recliner that is tucked away in the corner beside the bed. He’s absolutely beaming, every bit the proud papa.
“Hey, Daddy. Did you misseded me?”
“Sure did.” He makes his way around the small hospital room to grab Kyle’s hand and leads the three boys over to the little blue pull-out couch, where their grandmothers ooh and ahh over the twins. “Boys, meet your sisters, Abigail and Emmaline.”
As I sit on the edge of my best friend’s bed, taking in the boys’ first reactions to the new babies, I feel her cold hand clutch mine and squeeze. My heart flips in my chest. She deserves this life—this family, this happiness—more than anyone.
“What do you think, buddy?” Spencer asks as I help Kyle up onto the bed to sit beside her.
“Be careful, Savage,” I warn. “Mommy’s tummy has a big owie from getting the babies out.”
“I think they’re all right, but I still wish they were some boy babies instead. I saw some in that big window when we were looking for your room, Mommy.” Kyle’s eyes grow round. “Maybe someone else wanted girl ones and we can trade?”
“Oh, baby. Don’t make me laugh right now. It hurts,” she says through a strained giggle. “We’re not trading your sisters in. You and your brothers…and your father are more than enough boy for one family.”
Kyle’s shoulders sag. “Fine. But you have to promise me you won’t let any more guys shoot sperms in your vagima, okay?”
Spencer’s eyes widen, and dart around the room until they land on Lake and Landon. “What did you two say to my baby?”
Oh, shit.
“Don’t look at us,” Landon laughs, throwing his hands up in surrender. “That’s all Aunt Gigi’s doing.”
Gulp. “Oh, you two helped just a little.” Look at them throwing me right under the fucking bus.
“Gina!” Mrs. Nelly gasps. “He’s only four.”
Cooper’s face is damn near purple he’s laughing so hard, and Spencer looks as though she may never speak to me again.
Sliding out of the bed slowly, I begin moving toward the door. “And that’s our cue to leave. Come on boys. Kiss everyone bye. I have a big surprise for you.” They don’t know it yet, but when we leave this hospital, we’re going straight to the Port of New Orleans to board a cruise ship headed to the Caribbean for a week. I thought it would be nice to do something fun for them while the new babies are soaking up all of the attention. Not to mention the fact that Cooper and Spencer could use the time acclimating to life with twin newborns.
That’s right. This heart is made of gold. It’s this mouth that keeps my ass in trouble.
“On second thought,” Spencer starts, fidgeting nervously in the bed. “Maybe this surprise isn’t such a good idea…”
Oh, hell no.
Mrs. Elaine shoots her daughter a sideways glance. “Spencer Rose, really? Stop it. You act like you haven’t known Gina your entire life. Now, I told you one day all those baby daddies would catch up to you. Well, here you go.” She waves her arms around the room.
“Uh, I’m just gonna go out and have a smoke,” Cooper’s father, Mr. Neal, announces before scurrying around me and out of the room.
“Mother! She’s had them alone for a day. One. Day. And look what she’s done. Imagine the damage she can do in a week.”
Elaine simply waves her off. “She can’t do anything worse than what you’ve already done, darlin’.” After passing the baby off to Cooper she joins me near the door and leans in to whisper into my ear. “Ignore her. Just take the kids and run, baby girl. Y’all have a great time.” She presses a kiss to my cheek, rolling her eyes at her daughter who’s still ranting in the hospital bed.
“Did she just call me a bad mother?” Spencer’s hand flies to her chest as she looks to Cooper, who suddenly appears to have seen a ghost.
“Nuh-unh. Don’t involve me in y’all’s—”
“So, you agree with her?”
Oh, dear God in heaven. This must be the leftover pregnancy hormones. While Coop reassures his wife that she’s the most wonderful mom to ever walk this earth, I instruct the boys to say their goodbyes and meet me in the hall.