Don’t Cry Baby

I sit in my room completely alone, hearing only the sound of my own thoughts flowing through my head. The pain of watching her walk away from me, and walk out the door was almost unbearable. I love her, I love her so much that it hurts. She has taken over all my thoughts in every waking or sleeping moment. I can't get rid of her no matter how hard I try. I will do anything to get her back. She is mine and she will always be mine. No matter what I have to go through to get her.

She remembered last night how good we are together, how good we always were. She still lobes me and she still wants to be with me, I know it. It's just him, he gets in the way. She loves him too, which means I need to get rid of him or at least her feelings for him.

I need to see her, I need to be with her. I can't handle this waiting game. I walk into the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. She must look at me and hate me for what I have done to her. I don't know what happens when I get like that. It's like all the sudden I can't breathe and I see red. Everything happens so fast.

My demons have come back to haunt me. I hear them; all the time, taunting me. Telling me shes too good for me and if I want to keep her I know what I have to do. They're right id o know, it's just not time yet. That will be my last resort. If my plan doesn't work, my plan to win her back.

**

I stand outside watching her through the window. Her beautiful brown hair flowing in waves cascading down her back like a waterfall. Her body curvy and graceful, her every move putting me in a trance. How did I even get lucky enough to have her in the first place, I have no idea.

The first day we met was really like any other day. I had some errands to run downtown, between jobs. She walked out of this bookstore, I later found out was her favourite, carrying that damn book she has read over and over. I'll regret destroying it for the rest of my life.

She looked so damn beautiful in these tight jeans that hugged her in all the right places and a green day t-shirt. Her hair was up in this messy bun that showed off her cheekbones and those beautiful green eyes she's always hated firmly planted on this book.

She walked by me with her head down, I called to her. I needed to know her name or at least hear her voice. I knew she'd be a distraction from work but, I was hooked the minute I laid eyes on her. She ignored my attempts to get her attention. I grew frustrated by this but called to her again. She turned and smiled shyly.

We got to talking and instantly hit it off. I was completely amazed that this beautiful girl gave me the time of day. I should have told her what she was getting herself into that day. I should have told her about my job and my demons. She could have run away and never looked back but, I was selfish and I needed to have her. I still haven't told her the truth to this day.

I climb up the tree, the same tree I used to climb up every night after I met this girl. i get up to the window and slide it open slowly. There's my girl, lying comfortably in bed. She seems so peaceful at night. I walk over and kneel at her bedside. I caress her face and she slowly flutters her eyes open. She sees me and her eyes grow wide for a second before she processes who's kneeling in front of her.

"Oh baby doll, I had to come and see you. They only keep quiet when I'm around you. If i'm lucky." She stares at me with a confused expression.

"What are you talking about Tyler?"

I smile ignoring her question. She doesn't need ot know about them, she doesn't need to know what they say and the things they tell me to do. Not yet.

"It doesn't matter baby doll, I just needed to see you. I needed to touch you. You like when I touch you don't you." I slide my hand down further, waiting for her to tell me to stop. Watching her eyes as I slide my hand further until they reach the waistband of her pants. SHe reaches her hand and grabs hold of my wrist.

"No Ty, not tonight." She pulls the blanket back and pats the mattress beside her. I crawl in and relax, I lay on my back wrapping my arm around her. Feeling her body melt into mine, like the perfect puzzle pieces.

"You know we're perfect together, you just need to admit it."

She nods and curls up closer to me before her eyes fall closed and she gives into the sleep.

It doesn't take long for the voices to make themselves known as I lay here in the dark staring up at the white ceiling of Ashley's room.

Get her back however you can.

She is yours and she always will be.

Kill him, do whatever it takes to get her back.

Get rid of any obstacle that stands in your way.

I slap my head, trying to get rid of them. My one arm is trapped under her, leaving me with one free arm. Using my free arm; I slide my trapped arm out from under her, trying my best not to wake her. I walk down the stairs, silently, so that I don't wake anyone else. I walk towards the counter and find the knife set. I pull one out taking it to my skin. I feel the pain as I slice through leaving a trail of blood behind. As soon as the pain begins, the voices stop. I clean the knife and my skin and go back up the stairs to the bathroom. I find the first aid kit and clean the cut I made and bandage it up. There is one thing the voices were right about.

He must go, no matter what I need to do to make it happen.