SWNOVELS Chapter My CEO 292
292 My Struggle (Cass)
I'm lying in this hospital bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to get my shit together. My body's still trembling from the aftereffects of the drugs they pumped into me.
Meth. Of all the fucking things they could've used.
I've been through withdrawal before, but this feels different. Darker. Like it's gripping onto me harder than anything ever has. I know what that means. I know meth is one of the most addictive things out there. The worst part? I can feel it calling to me, already scratching at the back of my mind. It terrifies me.
The doctors say I'm doing well. Physically, I'm recovering faster than they expected, but mentally? That's another story. I've always had demons. Always fought through the shit life's thrown at me. But this? +-don't know how to handle it.
"Cass?" A soft knock on the door snaps me out of my thoughts. Winona steps in, looking as put together as ever, but I can see the exhaustion in her eyes. She's been through a lot too. Probably more than me. "Hey," I mutter, sitting up a little in the bed.
She walks over, pulling up a chair beside me. "How're you feeling?"
I shrug, forcing a smile. "Better than I was. Still a mess, though."
"You're not a mess, Cass. You survived a traumatic event." Winona's voice is steady, but I can hear the worry beneath it.
"Now I just need to
"Yeah, survived. That's about it." I glance down at my hands, clenching them into fists. "Now I work out how to get back to normal life."
Winona reaches out, her hand resting on my arm. "You're stronger than you think. You'll get through this. We'll get through this."
I want to believe her. I really do. But my mind is already racing, thinking about what happens when I leave here. When I have to face life again. I can't run from this, but I sure as hell don't know how to deal with it either. "The doctors are talking about counseling. They say it'll help," I say, my voice low.
"I think that's a good idea," Winona replies, her voice soft but firm. "You don't have to do this alone. You shouldn't."
"I don't know." I shake my head. "I've always been fine handling my own shit. Don't need some therapist digging into my head."
"It's not about needing it. It's about making sure you have all the tools to handle what's coming...hat's already in your head."
I bite my lip, not really wanting to get into this. But Winona's right. I can't keep bottling my shit up. I've
been running for so long, but this? This is different.
"What if... what if I can't get past it?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. "What if this nightmare never
TA
goes away?
will" Winona says, squeezing my arm gently "But only if you give yourself a chance to heal. You've been through hell Cass. You don't have to pretend everything's fine."
I look at her, my chest tightening it's weird Growing up I never had anyone to lean on. Except Mom, But she isn't here now. It was always me against the world And now, here's Winona, offering to carry some of that crap with me I don't even know how to accept it
Before I can say anything my new phone buzzes on the side table. I reach for it, glancing at the screen, It's Gabriel. We talked last night by text
ifreeze because I'm not sure how hearing his voice we and Winona will probably disapprove
Winona notices my hesitation, her eyes namowing signey "Who's that?
"Gabriel" mutter, swiping the notification away "We been messaging. He's sorry about what I went through Wants to come seeme
Winona leans back, crossing her arm over her chest deyimally think that's a good idea?"
I bristle feeling the sit Delerueness or up "what you mean?
"I mean, everything that happened, Cass Gabriel was the one who brought you to Cancun, He was there when you grot taken Corant Man seem a ime convergengt we don't know how mvolved he was?" I narrow my wyes at her. "Trax Thou This is hun fault?
Tin just saying maybe you should be careful. And afubverything do you really want to mak
Tknow Gabriel" I soup Tour dine't do mua to ima nela do much a victim in all of this as tam he thought i was okay and thus i did wat te ngan mus, now was the to know that those texts weren't actually muc?" Winona sigh running a fund fertighter the "Cassis just womad about you, I don't trust him."
"Well, I do " My vince is sturg, die fax tref of jespie lating me what là du. First the ductors, now Wena I get it She's looking out he me but me: I get to decide who's in it 7 love him, Wema Avd you of at gengne should understand that
Winona doesn't say anything for a moment, just watches me with those knowing eyes of hers. Finally, she speaks, het voice set the adott say? verything you've been through, you deserve people in your life who aren't going to hurt you." Ye fe say he loves me he is going to hurt e
Wenona stands up going my arm or lest que okay? If you're up to
Oni wow! To love to see tuni
The sure is" Winona
I'm happy to see her happy
me back later Just take care of yourself,
now you can come visit hy he's just had his first bath today"
292 My Struggle
"I gotta go. The kids are waiting in the car with Jayden.
"Sounds like Armageddon."
I smile, watching her leave. The door clicks shut behind her, and the room feels too quiet again.
I stare at my phone, my thumb hovering over Gabriel's number, I hit the call button.
My breath rushes out when I hear his voice.
"Cass. Are you okay? I'm flying back to the USA tomorrow."
"I'm okay. I mean, I'm not great but I'll get there."
"I'm so sorry about everything. You must've been so scared. Can I see you? Please."
"Yeah. Come by the hospital tomorrow."
"I will. I need to go catch my ride to the airport. You take care, okay?"
"...will. I...I... I love you, Gabriel." I stammer but the call has disconnected already.
I'm not sure if he heard me or not.
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