SWNOVELS Dirty Games: Chapter 4
I SHOULDN’T KEEP CHECKING out Vivi’s legs as I drive her back to my place, but I do. The plaid skirt she’s wearing rides up a little, and it shows off those creamy thighs of hers again, and I can’t help but wondering what they would look like wrapped around me.
I’ve done my best to convince myself I hate this girl because I instantly wanted her so badly, but she’s so damn sweet and beautiful, I’m finding it difficult to avoid her like I originally planned. From the moment I made the decision to allow her to stay in my house, I knew it was a bad one because I’m not sure I’ll have the willpower to keep from claiming her. Something deep down inside me wants her—something purely animalistic that makes it difficult for me to remember the logical reasons I need to stay away from her.
I turn onto the main road. “How was your first day?”
“It was okay. Truthfully, I feel really lost, but I’m hoping that the feeling will go away after being there for a bit of time,” she says. I admire her openness and want to comfort any self-doubt she may be having.
“Being comfortable takes time. You’ll get there,” I tell her.
“I hope so. Most everyone on the cast and crew are nice…well, except one girl. Gia Whitt. She’s been on a couple of other reality shows and is a complete diva and treats most of the crew like they’re well below her. It’s kind of sickening.” Her lips twist. She’s cute when she’s grumpy.
“She must not be too big of a star because I’ve never heard of her, and I watch a lot of TV and movies,” I tell her.
“You do?” she asks. “Even reality shows? I don’t see you being a fan of this one. It’s a dating show called Love in the Sand.”
“I would totally watch that.” I chuckle. “Does that surprise you? You already know I’m a huge Harry Potter fanatic.”
“Yeah, but who doesn’t love HP? What’s surprising is the fact you like reality dramas.”
“Why?” I ask, genuinely curious to hear her answer.
She shrugs. “You’re a big guy who plays sports for a living. I figured a guy like you would watch ESPN and workout shows all day.”
This again causes me to laugh. “Are you seriously stereotyping us jocks right now? Please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who still believe all athletes are idiots with no other interests besides sports. I’m personally offended on behalf of all athletes on the planet.”
“Well, I mean, can you blame me for assuming that?” She waves her hand at me. “Look at yourself. All muscled and tattooed. Who wouldn’t assume that about you?”
I shrug. “I wouldn’t. People surprise me every day, so I don’t like to assume anything about them. I’ve learned that just because a person looks a certain way doesn’t mean I know what kind of human they are inside.”
She studies me for a long moment but says nothing. “You’re very surprising.”
“You’re saying that like it’s a bad thing.” I keep my eyes on the road in front of me as I drive us home.
“It’s not. It’s a good thing, actually. I like being surprised, especially if it’s about something I’m wrong about,” she admits.
“Well, it’s nice to know you no longer believe I’m just a dumb jock.”
This time, she laughs at my joking tone, and I have to admit the sound is magical, and I find myself mesmerized by it. Her smile is amazing, and it makes me smile too. She’s a refreshing ray of happy fucking sunlight, which I desperately need in my life, considering all the fucking bullshit I’ve been through lately.
The Jeep comes to a creep in front of the gate, and I wave at the guard as he opens it up and allows me through. At first, I was against moving into this uppity-ass neighborhood, but after Beckett assured me it would provide the most protection and privacy for me, I was sold. At least behind the locked gates, I’m comfortable being myself in my own home. Being in the public eye is nerve-racking because if I step one little toe out of line, it can cost me my fucking job, which is crazy. No other job on the planet is as strict as the one of any type of celebrity. Piss off the fans and lose their trust, then you lose everything you’ve worked for with a snap of the fingers. Poof. Everything gone. Rarely can someone come back from a fall from grace, and that may have been my story too had I not had the proof that Annabell Rogers has been stalking me for the past six months.
After I park in the garage, the sound of Vivi’s stomach growling nabs my full attention. “Are you hungry?”
A bashful smile fills her face. “Yes. I didn’t get a chance to eat lunch at work. I was so nervous, and I couldn’t fathom eating without throwing up because my body was so tense all day.”
“That’s no good,” I tell her. “You can’t expect your body to work in top shape if you don’t give it the proper food to function.”
“That may be true in your case since your job is so physical, but I mean, look at me, it won’t kill me to skip a meal.”
“I am looking at you,” I say as I allow my eyes to glide over every inch of her. It’s easy to see she’s poking fun at her body because she’s not an anorexic model-type the media portrays as the standard of beauty, but she has no idea how much my hands itch to feel those curves of hers. “Your body is fucking perfect.”
A full-on blush assaults her cheeks, and she ducks her head, allowing her dark hair to fall, acting as a curtain around her gorgeous face. “You don’t have to say stuff like that to be polite.”
“I never give compliments I don’t mean, and as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’m not always the most polite person. I’m very blunt—have been my entire life—and to be honest, I’ve been told it’s both my best and worst trait. So when I give you a compliment, I mean it.”
She looks up at me, studying me with her green eyes, and finally, a soft smile plays along her pouty lips. “It’s nice to be around someone who isn’t completely full of bullshit for a change. I like when people mean what they say, especially when they follow through on their promises.”
I’m sure my little shit nephew is who she’s referring to about breaking promises with that last sentence, and it’s easy to see the sadness in her eyes as her thoughts are about him. “You know, for the record, I think Robbie not coming here with you was the biggest mistake he’s ever made in his life.”
Her head tilts. “You do?”
I nod. “I do. How any guy who’s had the honor of being with you could walk away baffles my fucking brain. If you were mine, there’s no fucking way I would ever let you go. You’re too damn sweet.”
It’s stupid of me to say this shit to her, but like I just told her, I’m a blunt person. If I think it, most of the time the words are going to tumble from my mouth—whether good or bad. Sometimes, I think my filter is broken because it sure as fuck doesn’t work like most other people’s I know.
But the shit I just said, it’s fucking dangerous.
The last thing in the world I need right now is to fuck around with Vivi, but I can’t fucking help myself. Not only is she hot, but so far, our conversations have flowed so easily—at least when I’m not a complete fucking tool to her. In the short period of time I’ve spent with her, we’ve had more meaningful conversations than some women I’ve dated for a month. She’s so sweet to Dobby, and I love looking at her. She’s stunning, which only makes me want her more.
But I know I can’t have her.
It’s wrong on so many levels to want her the way I do—not only because of her and my nephew’s past relationship, but also for the damn crackdown about messing around with women during the season that my team has imposed on me. It’s like they think I’m some goddamn animal that can’t control myself around women, so they’ve completely barred me from them—which is fucking ridiculous. I’ve never hurt a woman in my life—never will, because my mom taught me how shitty men can be to women, and I decided long ago I would never be like the men she brought into my life.
I can’t tell you how many times I witnessed Mom getting smacked around in her own home by some guy she’d been seeing. It wasn’t until I got older and stronger that I could easily step between Mom and her would-be attackers and order them to get the fuck out. In turn, Mom would get pissed at me and chase after the guy. She’d call me a bastard who’s done nothing but ruin her life and beg her abuser to take her back.
Vivi toys with the hem of her plaid skirt, which draws my eyes to her smooth legs. “You’re too sweet, but unfortunately, Robert didn’t see things that way. All he cared about was making his father mad and losing his monthly allowance. Money mattered more to him than I did, so now I know what we had wasn’t even really love. If he loved me, he would be here with me, but instead, I haven’t heard from him since the day I got on the plane to come here.”
“He’s a fucking idiot. That entire family is nothing but assholes,” I mutter.
Her head whips in my direction, and her right eyebrow quirks. “Aren’t you a part of their family?”
I shake my head. “No. I don’t even really know them. Robbie’s grandfather, Steve Estell, is my biological father—a man I never met. I didn’t even know who my real dad was until Robbie’s dad tracked me down after his old man died. It was discovered in his father’s belongings he had a secret son who he’d been paying child support for. My mother lied to me my entire life and said she never knew who my father was—that she conceived me one night when she was out on a bender and couldn’t remember.”
Her chin lifts in understanding. “Ah. I see. You are the Estell family’s dirty secret—the scandal they want to keep hidden. Makes sense now why none of them ever spoke about you. I had no clue Robert even had an uncle until I got the job here in Florida.” She pauses for a beat. “If you don’t really know them, why agree to allow Robert and me to stay with you?”
I release a sigh as I run the pads of my fingertips along the leather-covered steering wheel of the Jeep. “In some fucked-up universe, I thought it would be nice to genuinely connect with a family I never knew I had. Robbie texted me out of the blue and told me he wanted to get to know me, asking if the two of you could come stay. I figured this could be a good thing—a good first step—and then the little shit never even showed up.”
Her lips twist. “Guess that explains why I was such a disappointment to you when you discovered it was only me who came here.”
“I won’t lie and say it did not hurt me, but you definitely weren’t a disappointment.” I turn to lock eyes with her. “To be honest with you, it’s nice having you here. This big house can get pretty fucking lonely at times.”
Her plump lips turn up into a smile. “Aw. Doesn’t Dobby cuddle with you enough?”
A laugh rumbles in my chest. “Only on his own terms, and he’s not big on chitchat. Our conversations always feel a little one-sided.”
This causes her to laugh too, and I have to admit, it’s a great fucking laugh.
I tap the steering wheel with my thumb. “We should probably head inside. Dinner is still warm in the oven.”
Her eyes widen. “You made me dinner?”
I lift one shoulder in a noncommittal shrug. “Yeah. I figured you’d be starving after working so many hours today.”
Her lips roll in tight, and for a split second, it appears she may start crying, but then she pats my forearm. “Thank you. You’ve really been great to me today, and I can’t tell you how appreciative I am.”
“It’s nothing, really. All I did was make enough for two instead of one. I was cooking anyhow, so it’s really no big deal.”
“It’s a big deal to me,” she says, barely above a whisper. “It’s been a long time since someone has cooked for me. It’s sweet.”
Again, I wave her off like it’s not a huge issue for me, and I don’t need the praise. “You may not be thanking me once you taste it. I never claimed to be a chef.”
I open the Jeep’s door, and she mimics me and then follows me inside the house. Dobby jumps up on me first, and after I’ve greeted him, he turns his attention to Vivi, who drops on one knee and scratches him behind the ear.
Dobby is complete putty in her hands as he leans into her hand. “Looks like you’ve made a friend for life. That’s his favorite spot to have scratched.”
She grins up at me. “I can tell, and I’ll be happy to be his friend. He’s a pretty sweet boy.”
The way a person interacts with animals speaks volumes about their character, and Vivi may be the nicest woman I’ve ever had inside my home.
Inside, the house still smells like the chicken I grilled earlier and the green beans I steamed. Most everything I know how to make is healthy. Being an athlete as far back as I remember has caused me to view food as fuel for my body. Taste isn’t something I’ve been really concerned about. Beckett refuses to eat my cooking because he says it tastes like unseasoned shit. So I went for something safe tonight. Grilled chicken and steamed green beans are pretty hard to fuck up, and I picked up a bottle of barbecue sauce today at the store just in case she wants to drown the food in it to give it some flavor.
After a quick wash of my hands, I put on my oven mitts and pull the food out of the oven where it has been left warming.
“You made this?” Vivi asks as she eyes the food I’ve set on the counter in front of her. “It looks fantastic.”
I smile and gesture for her to have a seat while I collect two plates from the cabinet.
She watches me closely as I grab some knives and forks from the drawer. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
I shake my head. “Nope. I’ve got this. You just sit there and rest. You’ve had a long day at work.”
I quickly fix her plate and then set it in front of her. “What would you like to drink? I’ve got Vitamin Water, lemonade, milk, bottled water…?”
“Lemonade sounds amazing,” she replies.
I grab a bottle for her, then water for myself, and join her at the counter while Dobby makes himself comfortable at our feet. Even though I have a dining room with a huge-ass table, I’ve never used it. I prefer to eat all my meals at the bar here in the kitchen because the dining room seems too fucking formal, and that’s just not me.
“This looks amazing,” Vivi tells me as she cuts into the chicken and then takes a bite. “Damn. That’s good.”
For some reason, her compliment pleases me like crazy, and knowing I have her approval causes me to smile. “Thanks. Beckett hates my cooking. He says I need to hire someone to cook my meals because I do a shit job.”
She laughs. “Well, I can’t speak for all the different things you make, but this is good.”
“I’m glad you like it.” I take a drink and then decide I want to keep her talking because I like the sound of her voice. “So tell me everything about your first day at work.”
She gives me a skeptical look. “You really want details?”
“I do, or else I wouldn’t have asked. I’ve never known anyone in the TV business, so I want the deets,” I tell her because I am curious.
“Okay, then, well…let’s see…I felt like a glorified gopher the first part of the day because all I did was run around and get coffee for all the bigwigs in charge, and that sucked.”
I listen intently to everything Vivi says because this girl easily captures my full attention.