SWNOVELS Devoted: Chapter 9
Fuck.
Her body goes limp against the toilet. How can she be so completely gray and still so sweaty?
Shit, shit, shit.
Lifting her into my arms, I lay her down on my bed. One of my pillows gets pushed against her back to keep her on her side, just in case she throws up again. She’s completely out of it.
Grayson told me he thought she might have a bit of a problem. I assumed it was just her partying hard.
What she’s going through now is complete addiction withdrawals. The panic sets in when I realize this could kill her.
I stand at the edge of the bed, running a hand through my hair. What the hell do I do? I can’t let her die, but I don’t have a clue what can help.
Her dark hair sticks to her sweaty face, even as her fragile body shivers violently. I gently place the back of my hand on her forehead. “Shit.”
She’s boiling hot.
My heart twinges as she starts to heave, and I quickly lift her to a seated position. Holding her upright and pulling her hair out of her face, she spills the acrid bile all over my floor.
“Rosa, it’s going to be okay,” I whisper.
She shakes her head, moaning as she clasps her trembling hands on her knees.
“I need a drink.” Her voice is croaky. I can’t give her a drink. I don’t know why this urge to help her through this takes over. I don’t know this girl, but something is telling me she needs to overcome this. Whatever it is she’s running from is going to kill her if she doesn’t get clean.
“You’re so fucking strong, Rosa. You’ve got this, okay?”
I really hope she does.
My back is aching and stiff as I sit on the chair in the corner of my bedroom watching Rosa sleep. It’s been an exhausting night of rushing her to the bathroom and holding her hair as she throws up, then carrying her back to bed.
The hardest part has been her screaming at me for a drink, clawing at my chest as I carry her and begging me to put her out of her pain.
I grew up on the streets; hell, I sell the stuff. I know how powerful that little white powder can be. Rosa, however, doesn’t strike me as a typical junkie. She might be a mafia princess, a party girl, but this level is way beyond that. I’m not even sure she realized she was an addict.
As the sun starts to rise, I get my phone out and use my app to put the black out blinds down. She needs to sleep. So do I, but I won’t. Not until I know she isn’t going to die on me.
She needs someone to protect her, to care for her, and that person is me. Even if my heart is in my throat the entire time.
When she starts to groan in her sleep, I jump out of my chair and crouch beside the bed. I clasp my hand over hers. She’s still warm, but not the furnace she was.
She coughs, and it spikes my panic.
“How are you feeling, Rosa?” I keep my voice calm, even though I feel like screaming right now.
Her voice comes out hoarse. “Like I’ve jumped in front of a bus, had my insides set on fire, and I have someone living inside my brain hammering on my skull.”
She rolls onto her back and stretches out. I need to get her into some fresh clothes. Hell, even a shower.
Despite her deathly looking complexion, her beauty shines through. The silky fabric of her black dress rides up her thigh, and I can’t pull my gaze away from her slender legs. I shake my head, trying to rid the dark thoughts stirring around seeing her on my bed.
“Do you still feel sick?” I can’t stop myself from touching her forehead to check her temperature.
Her eyes widen as she watches my hand. “A little. Nowhere near as bad.”
Relief washes over me, exhaustion taking over. “I’ll get you a glass of fresh water.” When I return, she sits up, digging her heels into the mattress to scoot back against my headboard. Her cheeks pale, and that shake in her hand is still visible. I don’t know if she can even hold the cup.
The bed dips as I sit on the edge. She won’t even look at me, her fingers knot in her dress as I lean closer.
“Rosa, it’s okay. I’m here to help you, not judge you.”
She nods, avoiding my gaze. The quiver as she tries to drink has water sloshing over the rim, so I hold the glass up to her lips, and she takes a small sip. I’m mesmerized watching her throat bob as she swallows, making me shift uncomfortably next to her.
Something is clearly wrong with me.
She barely drinks half when I’m carrying her back to the bathroom and the water makes a swift reappearance. I sit on the tiled floor next to her, rubbing her back as she sobs, holding the toilet. I pull her into my arms and place her between my legs, holding onto her tight while her tears soak through my T-shirt. Her body shivers, and with shaking hands, she’s grabbing hold of my top when I feel her go limp again.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay, I promise you. You will get through this.”
I’m pretty sure she won’t recall any of the last twelve hours. Which can only be a good thing. The place she is at right now is the pits of hell. I just hope I can help her claw her way out.
Her breathing becomes regular, and I know she’s back asleep. Lifting her easily, I carry her back to the bed and pull the thick comforter back over her. Taking my seat across the room, I pull out my phone. I’m in over my head and a hospital isn’t an option. So, I dial the only person I know that can help me.
“Luca, it’s basically the middle of the night. What’s happened?” Her voice is muffled and groggy.
I check my watch, it’s six am.
“I need your help, Mom. Can you come to my place?”
She sounds much more awake as a tinge of panic laces her words. “Of course, son. Give me half an hour.”
I look over to the sleeping Rosa and let out a sigh.
“Thank you. Can you swing by Keller’s on the way? He should have a bag of clothes ready for you.”
“Should I even ask?”
“I’ll explain when you get here.”
I can hear the sound of soft steps and something being rubbed against the walls before Mom stops at the doorway to my room. Her mouth drops the same as the bag when she sees me. Her gaze switches between Rosa and me, making her eyebrows knot closer together with every glance. I’m cradling Rosa against my chest again. She started crying out in her sleep and thrashing around to the point I was scared she was going to hurt herself.
She rolls again, her arms wrapping around her stomach as a small moan escapes her lips, piercing into my heart.
Mom rushes to the side of the bed, tucking her long gray hair behind her ears before gently cupping Rosa’s sweaty face.
“What’s happened to this poor girl? Who is she?”
“She’s going through withdrawals. I had no idea she was an addict. She’s Marco’s daughter.”
“Luca!” She raises her voice and stands up to put her hands on her hips.
Rosa flinches in my arms, and I shake my head at mom, giving her the not now stare. She can shout and scream at me all she wants after Rosa has gotten through this.
“I just need your help, Mom. So does Rosa. I haven’t slept or eaten since yesterday. She’s been throwing up, sweating, and has been in and out of consciousness all night. I can’t do this on my own anymore.” I hate having to ask for help. It makes me feel like a failure.
Mom’s face softens, and she nods, then pulls my head against her to ruffle my hair.
“Well, I’m glad you stepped up to help her. Go and get some rest. I’ll take over.” I let Rosa down gently against the pillow, but it rouses her from her restless sleep.
“Nona? Is that you?” Rosa’s voice quivers as she speaks.
I shrug at Mom. At this point, I don’t even know if Rosa knows her own name. Every now and then, there are moments she seems to have it together. This doesn’t seem to be one of them.
Mom smooths out the wild hair around Rosa’s face. “It’s okay, dear. Do you think we can get you freshened up?”
Rosa shakes her head and nuzzles herself further into my chest, grabbing onto my shirt so tightly I can feel her nails digging into my skin.
“Don’t leave me, Luca.”
Her voice is soft, but it’s like a kick in the gut. I hold her petite frame against mine and stroke her back.
“My mom is here to help you, Rosa. It’s just for a little while.”
When I manage to peel myself away, she sits up and watches me. Then, her face pales before she sways and droops back against the pillows.
Mom sits down on the bed next to her and places her hand over Rosa’s. “You are going to be just fine. Come on, let’s get you showered.”
“Thank you,” I mouth and sneak out of the room, letting out a lungful of air as I do.
I don’t want to leave Rosa, but I have to sleep. I have no idea how long her symptoms will last, so I have to be ready for the long haul. I won’t let her down.
A light tap on my door wakes me. I sit up and see my mom’s furrowed brow and down-turned mouth greeting me.
“How is she?”
“She’s sleeping. I gave her some more water with some vitamins and electrolytes to keep up her strength. My god, does she need some. This stage should pass in a day or two. I don’t know how far you’re willing to go to help her, son. But she is going to be struggling with this every day for the rest of her life. I can see she has that fight in there deep down, but it’s going to be tough. On both of you.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and nod.
I can’t explain it. I want to help her, and I am willing to do what it takes. I’m already itching to go back in there and check on her.
“I had no idea.”
“She is going to be fragile, Luca. I don’t know what happened to her. Just be gentle with her.”
“You think I should let her go back home?” It would mess up all of my plans for Marco, but right now, I don’t even care. Seeing her this sick makes my chest hurt for her.
Mom shakes her head. “No, not if that life is what put her in this mess. Right now, you are her best option. I know you’d never hurt the girl. Just be careful with this.” She places her hand over my heart, the warmth from her palm burning into my chest.
I tilt my head while looking down at the creases framing her eyes. “I don’t think that will be an issue.”
I’ve never given my heart to anyone. I am certain this is the same. Just because I want to help her doesn’t mean I’m going to be madly in love with her. Even if she is the first woman in a long time to cause a spark in me just by being near her.
“Call me if you need anything, I’m heading to my Zumba class. Here is a list of everything you need to order for Rosa.” She hands me a slip of paper that is covered on the front and back with her delicate handwriting.
“Love you, Mom.” The light smell of her chamomile soap envelops me as she gives me a quick kiss on my forehead.
“I love you, too. Now get back in there; she needs you.” The bracelets on her wrist jingle as she pulls the door closed behind her.
After a quick shower, I almost feel human again. Tiptoeing down the hall, I peer through the crack in Rosa’s door to see she’s sound asleep. Good, I have a little while. My own body is starting to itch from the lack of nicotine.
I head out onto my balcony, closing the sliding glass door behind me and spark up. Kicking my feet up on the little glass table, I watch as the clouds float by above my head. The last twenty-four hours have been a fucking eye opener. My heart hurts for the suffering of that woman on my bed.
She might not have anyone to protect her, but while she’s here, I will step up.
I get my phone and start on a mission. I need a therapist and some research. I need to know exactly what I’m dealing with and the best way to help her.