Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1

RYAN

I sucked in a sharp breath and paused. It felt like someone had ripped my heart out. I looked down at myself with wide eyes, but everything was intact. Achira was still standing at the table, looking at me in confusion.

And another stab, as if someone was ramming a dagger into me. I gasped and clutched my chest. I was suddenly overcome by a hot flush and beads of sweat ran down my face. The pain intensified and I could barely breathe. Achira came up to me and slapped my cheek.

"Ryan?! What's going on? Hey buddy, stay conscious!" She croaked and looked at me in panic. She didn't know what was going on either.

'I think Catherine is in danger... She's not alive. Onyx managed to say quietly and also seemed about to faint from the pain. At the same time, he wanted to get up and run out of here to find Catherine.

"C-Catherine! I have to get to her!" I said desperately and tried to sit back up on the bed.

"She's in danger!" I breathed out and looked at Achira. I grabbed her arm and held her tightly "Please you have to take me away from here!" I was almost begging her. The pain was getting worse, it was almost unbearable.

She seemed desperate and suddenly her eyes glazed over.

It seemed as if she was communicating with someone.

"S-she's dead..." she whispered softly and looked at me. She must have gotten this information from the creep. No one else could be with Catherine.

I must not have heard correctly. Surely this had to be a misunderstanding? How could Catherine die in a day when I wasn't there?

"I-Ilay is with her and A A-zrael... He has come to take her soul," Achira whispered softly.

I looked at her, stunned. The pain in my chest intensified and I roared. Onyx, who was raging in my mind, tore himself free and tried to transform. I felt every bone in my body break as I transformed. I tried to hold Onyx back, but I couldn't do it.

I growled at Achira and prepared to attack her.

This was all her fault. If that damn asshole hadn't shown up, none of this would have happened.

I strode dangerously towards Achira, who held up her hands protectively "RYAN Come to VERNUNFT!" She screeched "I-I don't want to hurt you!" She threatened me and held her hands protectively in front of her face while I came at her snarling. What else could they do to me? Catherine was no longer with us... I had lost everything I loved. First my parents and now Catherine too... Hell no!

"H-listen... he just told me there's still a chance she'll survive.... Please Ryan!" She was trying to bring me to my senses, but bringing an angry alpha wolf to his senses? Almost impossible.

I glared at her for a moment, but I couldn't stop myself. I was angry, mad, sad, all at the same time and the only thing I wanted was to get to Catherine.

If they could keep me prisoner, then I might as well kick Ilay's ass. After all, I had his cousin in front of me, who apparently couldn't or wouldn't really fight back.

A growl along my throat and I bit dangerously into her shoulder and didn't let go. She screamed and tried to hit my head, but it was no use.

"RYAN PLEASE YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME!" She screamed and cried. Not another second later, a smoking figure appeared, stood between us and threw me against the wall.

Ilay was back and glared at me angrily. I growled at him and turned back again. I walked towards him and pushed him against the wall while Achira held her shoulder and cried in pain.

"What did you do to her?" I shouted at him and punched him in the face.

I grabbed him by the neck and pressed his body firmly against the wall "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" I suddenly felt a pain wash over me, breaking me to let go of him.

"I didn't do anything to her, she threw herself off the cliff and tried to take her own life when she found out the truth." He said. My eyes widened "AND WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT STOP HER?" I shouted at him and pushed him hard against the wall again.

I wanted to go to the gallows and kill him.

"It was sudden, unexpected and she jumped just before I got there." He said, giving me an annoyed look. It almost seemed like he was holding back to hurt me.

"Pull yourself together, puppy, we have another problem. We were able to save her, Azrael the Angel of Death has appeared and told me that I need to mark her so that she can be healed by my power." He explained carefully, looking at me almost amused at the marking part.

"YOU HAVE WHAT?" I shouted at him and now I was seeing red. I was angry that he couldn't protect Catherine and that he marked her.

"Where is she now and is she alive?" I asked him and my heart stopped. Through all the anger, I hadn't realized that the pain I had in my chest had lessened.

Ilay nodded "She's gone into some kind of coma and so far she's not awake..." he said, sighing in frustration. He leaned against the wall and slumped down. I looked around, Achira must have stormed out of the room when Ilay came in. As angry as I was, I hadn't even noticed.

"It's all your fault, if it wasn't for you, none of this shit would have happened." I threw at his head and ran my fingers through my hair.

I didn't know whether to cry or laugh.

"I could say the same thing to you." He said dryly. "But that won't get us anywhere, we have to see if we can help Catherine." What was he trying to say? "You said your marking would heal her?" I raised my eyebrows and looked down at him.

"Theoretically yes, but practically no, we had our mage look over her, he thinks it's similar to a curse that needs to be broken for her to wake up.... But we don't know what it would take to wake her up again. He said we have to go in search of Ragnol, the old warlock. Only God and the devil know where he is..." Ilay explained, rubbing his temples.

"I thought you were the devil?" I raised my eyebrows and grinned.

"Haa how funny, I can introduce you to Lucifer, after that your grin will fade..." Ilay stood up again and paced up and down the room. He was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, damn expensive Dolce&Gabbana trousers and Louboutin sneakers.

"If you touch Achira again, you're in for a treat..." He threatened and pointed his index finger at me.

"You'd better tell me where Catherine is, I want to see her..." I growled, almost forgetting the essentials.

He just looked at me, probably wondering whether it would be a wise idea to take me to her.

Finally, he nodded. "Don't do anything stupid, I'm telling you now..." he warned me and finally snapped his fingers.

We arrived in a room, I looked around and was dressed?

He just grinned at me "Sorry, but with us demons it's indecent to walk around half naked. House rules." He said and shrugged his shoulders. He had put me in an expensive tracksuit in black, so that was fine with me. At least he took my preference for black into account, that was almost too nice.

"Oh, by the way, your Harley... just awesome." He said, shrugging his shoulders, and walked ahead of me into the next room. I would have loved to drive him into the wall.

We went through the next door. You'd have thought a king lived here, with as many rooms as there were. The room was decorated in shades of gold and red and there was a huge bed in the middle of the room, almost too big for the tiny person lying in it. The bed was decorated in gold with lots of flowery patterns and there was a silk canopy in red hanging down and attached to the bottom of the bedposts.

My breath caught in my throat and I had to swallow hard at the sight of Catherine.

There she lay... my beautiful princess. You would have thought she was asleep... She looked so peaceful. Ilay's servants had done everything to the smallest detail on Catherine, the blanket was pulled up to her navel, she was wearing a cream-colored, silk nightgown. Her hair lay across her chest. She looked pale, only her beautiful lips were pink.

Even in this state, she looked wonderful. I moved closer to the bed and hardly dared to touch her cheek.

"Oh God..." I gasped out and looked at her. I was on the verge of tears, how could something so bad have happened?

Now I blamed myself for not being there for her sooner. I should have accepted my fate to mark her that day, on the full moon. She would have been bound to me and not to that bastard of a Highness. None of this would have happened...

'Do you finally get that you're a selfish asshole?' Onyx said sadly. His heart was broken, even when he called me names he always had an Alphaton in him, but now he was just sad and depressed about the whole thing.

'I didn't mean to push her...' I repeated quietly, as if that was an excuse.

'Now you see that not everything that is good should always be approved of... this is the receipt for that...' he whimpered and then said nothing more.

I had to take a deep breath and looked at Ilay, who was staring at me like a cobra, as if I was taking his property.

"Snake, she's my mate. Even if you beat me to the mark," I hissed at him, wanting to ensure my point.

She had two mates... Damn. Even if I beat the crap out of Ilay now, Catherine would feel all the feels. That meant we'd have to call a truce until she woke up and decided for herself what she wanted....

He just glared at me "We have a warlock to find, puppy, and we don't have much time."

Doggie, how amusing. I wasn't a fucking puppy. No, I was a fucking pitbull who tore everything to shreds and was afraid of nothing.

He rolled his eyes "Ryan, you're so easy to read. Now come on, we really don't have much time" he said nodding towards the door.

Wait? Did this idiot seriously read my mind?!

"Yay, now get going before I drag you out of here..." he said, already running off.

I looked at Catherine one last time and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'll fix this... I promise." I whispered softly and followed Ilay.

We went into Ilay's office room. He sat down in his armchair and I made myself comfortable on one of the Chesterfield sofas.

Here we were again. Me and Ilay in his office. This could go well.

ow tell me, how do we get this Ragnar..."

"Ragnol," Ilay corrected me

"Ragnar, Ragnol, whatever, can we find him?" I asked him, pinching the bridge of my nose.

Ilay took a deep breath "You're not going to like this... We have to go to the vampire realm... Ragnol works for the vampire king Dimitri. Dimitri is a feared Russian vampire, you could call him the mafia of vampires..."

I laughed and shook my head "Okay, the demon shit was really a lot. But now you're bringing the vampires into it? Do you know we're considered fish food there?

That calls for a war if things go wrong... If the wolves witness my death at the hands of a vampire, it throws out the whole peace treaty and we're back to decades of war."

"We're not going there to die, we plan to come back alive after all, and apart from that, there's no other option."

"Okay, we go to the vampire realm, then what? Ragnol won't show up right away..." I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"We have to ask for an audience with the king and give him something in return..." he looked at me calmly.

"Blood?" I asked, almost laughing. He shook his head

"No, the heart of a pure woman..." he whispered quietly.

"Surely you have enough souls hidden somewhere in your cellar..." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Alive Ryan... Physical heart, ring any bells?" He poured himself a glass of red wine and nodded at me. "He's the only one who can tell us where Ragnol is, we can't find him any other way."

I shook my head "No, I need the hard stuff.... that's too much news for today and how the hell are you going to find a pure woman? You can't ask every woman if she's a virgin."

"By pure, I mean she has to have a pure heart, something like St. Mary..." Ilay added. That will be difficult. Very difficult, especially as I didn't know any woman who was even remotely kind, let alone pure and kind-hearted. The second problem was, how do you rip the heart out of a woman like that? That was just disturbing...

He grabbed the bourbon bottle and handed me a glass.

I took a sip and looked at his glass of red wine. It reminded me of the evening at the Italian restaurant...

"What's wrong? Don't you like the wine?"

"N-no, no it's fine. I've just never drunk alcohol before in my life, it's new to me."

"Well then, here's to your first glass!"

I felt a stab in my heart and tears welled up in my eyes at the memory

How I wished I could go back in time... Oh Catherine, what are you doing to me?