Desire for you - ALPHA ILAY

VALENTINA

"Only a month to go? Are you sure, Erol?" I whispered quietly, shocked. With a single sentence, my life had been condemned to end on a funeral pyre.

I looked at the MRI images and tried to make out Erol's words, but my brain shut down. I have to mention that even in this century, Daemon-Heaven is already living in the future; technology and modernity are already part of everyday life here.

"There's nothing else we can do, Vale, it's like cancer, except that cancer affects humans and this disease... is only for demons. W-we can try to prolong it, but that will drain all your life energy..." Erol barely dared to speak. He was our doctor for everything and I had known him for centuries. I had never seen Erol cry before and now he did.

I stood up and paced around the room "T-This can't be.... Damn it, you have to do something about it, Erol! Something that heals..." I mumbled to myself and was beside myself.

I couldn't die... I couldn't let Nael down. Not after he had fought so hard to get back home. How was I supposed to teach him all this?

Tears welled up in my eyes at this question and I sank to my knees crying, holding my hands over my eyes. I tried to wipe the tears away, but I couldn't stop them.

Erol came up to me and hugged me: "You know how much I love you, Vale, you're the sister I never had.... I've tried everything, you, I can't get rid of these brain metastases.... There's nothing we can do," his voice was full of pain and it broke him to say the words.

It had started a few weeks ago with nausea, loss of appetite, loss of strength and much more. I had even taken a pregnancy test, but it was negative twice.

I even thought it might be my iron levels giving up the ghost, but that was all, still in the lower range.

That was the end result of everything after Erol did further diagnostics.

I was devastated and felt a real heartache towards Nael.

There is nothing we can do... I was forced to accept it.

I tried to be reasonable, but it was almost impossible, I couldn't bear the thought of having to die soon. It was very rare for us demons to die - I died.

"I don't want you to tell Nael..." I said to Erol, looking him in the eye, "but he has to know, Vale, at the latest... At the latest when you stop moving... he'll know," he barely dared to speak and lowered his eyes to the ground.

I nodded slightly and snorted, "I know he has to know eventually, but I don't want to waste the time I have left with him in grief... I can't do that to him. " I groaned quietly and leaned back against the wall.

Nael will be devastated...

VALENTINA

A week after Erol gave me the diagnosis, I felt what he meant when he said that one day I wouldn't be able to move.

I already felt numbness on the sides of my hands, on my little finger, and that was probably just the beginning.

I was lying in Nael's arms on the sofa, we had eaten together and talked about God and the world, I had dozed off in his arms when I felt a twinge in my back. The pain got worse and worse and I had the feeling that it was everywhere - just like the metastases probably were.

I groaned softly and sat up.

"What's wrong?" Nael asked, completely sleepy, and tried to pull me back into his arms.

"Please don't," I whispered softly and grimaced. The pain in my back intensified and I tried to stay strong so that Nael wouldn't look at me.

"What's wrong?" he suddenly asked worriedly and sat up as well.

"Nothing, I must have moved stupidly in my sleep... It's nothing," I said and stood up, hoping to mobilise my pain.

"Do you want me to bring you something?" Nael was on her feet now too and looked at me worriedly. I shook my head and stifled a sigh... If you knew what was going on inside me, Nael, you'd probably turn the whole of Daemon-Heaven upside down.

He had already run out of the room and returned a few minutes later with a hot water bottle.

"Here, put this on your back, I'm sure the warmth will do you good," he said, insisting I take the bottle. I was about to sit down when he shook his head: "No, come on, it's uncomfortable on the sofa... I'll take you to bed," he said and not a second later I was in his arms like a bride.

At that moment, I forgot the stabbing pain and laughed as I held on to his neck: "I can walk," I said with a smile and looked him in the eye.

He shook his head, "No, darling, I'll carry you up the stairs before you get lumbago," he said with a grin and planted another kiss on my lips before running off.

I giggled at his behaviour and cuddled up to him. I would have preferred not to let go of him at all... The thought that these could be my last days with him broke my heart... I didn't think I would have to give him up so soon... I wanted to fight, but the fight was hopeless. I would lose.

Nael gently laid me on the bed and took off my jeans while I took off my top.

He handed me my pyjamas and helped me put them on. "I can really do this on my own..." I insisted and looked at him, who skilfully ignored me.

"But I want to help you," he insisted again, looking me in the eye. His eyes mesmerised me every time and gave me pause. The way he insisted on helping me almost made me doubt that Erol could keep his feet still.

I let him help me and lay down on the bed while he slid the hot water bottle under me.

"There, that's it," he said, taking off his own shirt down to his pants and lying down with me.

He turned to me and looked me in the eye again: "I'm always here for you, even if it's just a sore back... I know I've been busy lately and couldn't always be there. I'm really sorry about that," he says, stroking my cheek.

"Mhmm... You can have those pangs of conscience," I couldn't help but grin and gently pulled him over me. He leant on his arms and pressed a kiss to my lips, which I returned.

A sting.

The pain intensified and I had to pull away from Nael's lips "Damn," I mumbled to myself.

"Hmm... that really doesn't look good, do you want me to rub your back?" he asked unsuspectingly, looking at me with concern.

I involuntarily bit my lower lip and nodded slightly "I'd be happy to", I said. Although I knew it wouldn't do any good, I still wanted him to help me. For the sake of his conscience.

I turned onto my stomach and moaned in pain again. Nael had already fetched the massage oil and began to gently massage my back.

This massage was much more of a balm for my soul as the pain didn't subside. "You're really tense," he remarked, massaging the side of my neck and then down my spine.

"I don't know ... it's probably from slouching while reading my books," I mumbled into the pillow I had laid my head on.

"We'll fix that," he said confidently and when I felt he had finished his massage, he began to place several kisses on my back.

I giggled and looked up at him.

"I love you so much, I could massage, kiss and pamper you for hours," he whispered in my ear. He gave me another kiss on the cheek and lay down next to me.

It was already late and we were both tired "I love you too, Nael," I said to him and carefully turned onto my side to cuddle up to him again.

I laid my head on his chest and soon sleep caught up with me as I listened to his heartbeat.

VALENTINA

"You have to tell him, Vale... You don't have much time left," Erol stood in front of me and looked at me, stunned. Nael was away on business again and would be back tonight.

I had reached the point where my strength had left me. I was practically lying in bed and could hardly move.

Erol gave me morphine and Tramal to relieve my pain. It got worse and worse and there was nothing that could help me.

Nael had noticed my condition a little in the days before and had asked me what was wrong, but I had brushed him off, referring to my menstruation on the one hand and feigning an infection on the other.

"Then tell him..." I whispered quietly and looked up at him.

"How am I supposed to tell him? That we've known for three weeks?" he asked me, rubbing his temples.

"Tell him that we've only just found out... Please Erol... I don't want him to get angry and have to deal with the fact that we didn't tell him... Please," I said quietly, at the end of my tether.

He looked at me sadly and finally nodded. Erol wasn't just my doctor, he was our family's best friend. I could always confide everything in him.

"E-Erol?"

"Yes?" he asked directly, looking me in the eye.

I pressed the ring I was wearing on my finger into his hand and held my breath for a moment.

"I want you to give it to Nael when I'm no longer with us... I want you to give it to him and tell him to stay strong..." My eyes grew heavier and heavier and all I could hear was Erol screaming for help before I passed out.

NAEL

Erol had informed me about Valentina's condition and I couldn't believe what he was telling me.

He had actually told me that she was going to die soon...

"DO SOMETHING, WE HAVE TO HELP HER!" I shouted angrily at him and ran around the room, pulling at my hair.

Ilay and Richard, my other brother, were also standing in the room watching the scenario, they were just as shocked as I was. Neither of them could believe what was going on.

"There's nothing we can do, Nael... Your whole body is infected. It's hopeless," Erol said quietly, looking back and forth between Ilay and Richard.

I froze with rage and stormed into Valentina's room. She was lying unconscious in her bed, looking pale... It was a strange pallor, yellowish, and her odour had changed too. I couldn't describe what it was, I had never experienced anything like it.

Tears flowed uncontrollably down my face, I sat down in front of her and carefully reached for her hand.

Her hand was freezing cold and the only thing alive at that moment was her faint pulse...

Ilay and Richard followed me and looked at me: "Nael...", Ilay began, but I interrupted him.

"Get out," I ordered them both. I didn't want them here. Not at that moment - I wanted to be alone with her.

Apparently they had understood the definition of my "out" and left the room.

Tears flowed uncontrollably down my face and all I felt was pain.

"You can't leave me, Vale..." I whispered softly and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand.

But a familiar feeling told me that she would soon no longer be here...

"I curse myself that I couldn't be with you, Vale... I should have realised something was wrong with you... I should have been more worried about you..." I started blaming myself like a waterfall and couldn't stop myself.

"It's not your fault..." she whispered softly and squeezed my hand with what strength she had left.

"Valentina..." I whispered softly and looked up at her. I kissed her gently on the forehead and looked into her half-open eyes. Her golden-brown eyes looked tired, as if she was struggling to stay awake. Her long dark brown hair was draped over her shoulders and she was wearing a white velvet nightgown. Her face was sunken, her cheekbones were prominent and any blush was gone. I couldn't bear to see her in this state ... It hurt. Oh God... Only she herself knows how much she must have suffered... and I wasn't there for her.

"Stop blaming yourself Nael, please..." she whispered softly and tried to raise her hand, but she couldn't. I gently took her hand and brought it to my cheek.

I shook my head tearfully and sobbed "I can't let you go...", I whispered and gently laid my head on her stomach.

"You have to... We can't stop it Nael... Listen to me Nael... You can't give up on yourself, please promise me..." she whispered softly and a tear ran down her cheek.

"I love you Nael..." she said softly and I could hear her heart skip a beat.

"I love you too Valentina... Forgive me," I kissed her gently on the lips and couldn't control myself after that. I cried uncontrollably, like a little boy crying for his mum.

I wasn't ready to be left alone by Valentina... Everything was happening too fast. I couldn't organise my thoughts while Valentina's breathing became calmer and calmer.

"I love you..." she repeated quietly and absently.

She left me... She said goodbye to me...

When I could no longer hear her pulse and the monitor emitted a long beep, I knew that she was no longer with us...

"VALENTINA!" I screamed and tried to shake her.

"You can't leave me!" I felt my heart break in two and our bond dissolve... It was as if she had ripped my heart out and taken it with her...

I collapsed on the floor crying and the only thing I could see was Ilay and Richard trying to get me out of the room.

She died...