Chapter Chapter Nine
Once we were in the elevator I turned to Petrus, eyes ablaze.
“What was that?”
“What?” Pettrus asked, confused
“All that...excitement. Nickolai is creating weapons. Weapons created for mass destruction! I wanted to take over the world to cease bloodshed, not create it!”
The elevator dinged and we stepped out at the tenth floor.
“Listen Tel,” Petrus said, “Sometimes to fix a problem you have to make it a bit worse, just for awhile. However, once the problem is solved there will be less bloodshed over all. Any problems you make, you can fix.”
“You can’t unblow up a building Petrus, you can’t untake a life.” I said, each word feeling as sharp as a knife.
“And hopefully it will never come to that Tel.” Petrus sighed. “I know the Class B’s are a bit, destructive, but maybe we’ll never have to use them.”
“And if we do?”
“It’ll be for the greater good, Tel,” Petrus said calmly, “A few lives lost can mean millions more saved later on.”
I paused, “I suppose that makes since.”
But I was still unsure. I hadn’t meant to start a war... but perhaps it was better this way. Either way it would all turn out for the best, and once I ruled I could fix all the mistakes I had made.
“Anyways,” Petrus said, “We have about an hour before we’re going to plug your information into the ID chip. In the meantime we need to plan this explosion. We’re going to need a lot more metal if we’re going to make all the Anthrolems that we need, and we’re going to need something to distract the press.”
“When are you planning your next raid?”
“Tomorrow night. And it’s going to be a big one, I’m going to need your help with it.”
I nodded, “Alright, so the explosion should be tonight. There will be fewer civilians walking the streets, and we’ll check the building before detonation.”
“Have you found a building yet?” Petrus asked.
“Yes, “I walked over to the computer and brought forward a former search, “This Class A apartment complex is having renovations done, at night no one should be in it.” I pointed to the area around the building, “Since it’s a Class A it has plenty of room around it, perfect for the shrapnel to fall without hitting anyone.”
“Nice work Tel.” Petrus nodded his approval. “However, if there’s no civilian casualties, how will it attract the interest of the press?”
I rolled my eyes, “It’s a building blowing up Petrus, the detonation charge I’ve chosen will create a sound loud enough to wake half the city, people are going to be interested. Plus,” I smiled, “I’ve made sure the reporters can turn it into a good story.”
“How?” Petrus asked.
“The building belongs to a certain General Caliban. The press are going to put building explosion and delegate debate together, and start believing it’s a political move.”
Petrus shook his head, “But isn’t that going to lead them straight to you? Won’t they be able to find out our plans?”
“They will have no evidence, and if they start poking around they’ll be looking in all the wrong places. We’re creating androids, they’re looking for evidence we’re blowing buildings up.”
“True,” Petrus said, “But Tel, what if they find all this stuff?”
“Everything, except for the parlor downstairs, has maximum security measures. Even the Planet Guard wouldn’t be able to get in here.” I said. “Besides, there won’t be any evidence. We’ll throw their suspicions on us, but in the wrong way. They’ll be ready to fight on a political front, showing me guilty, getting me thrown in jail.”
“But they won’t be able to do that.” Petrus said, “We’re controlling what they see, to control their actions, the outcome of which is insignificant.”
I nodded, “Precisely.”
“Alright,” Petrus smiled, “Sounds great, I’ll go give Nickolai instructions for the detonation charge.”
“I’ll be down in a minute to plug my information into the beta chip.” I promised as Petrus walked back towards the elevator.
I turned to look at the screen broadcasting the news. They were showing my interview with General Caliban again. I stood and watched as I answered his questions. I looked so calm and confident, but only I knew the storm that raged within.
I always managed to put on a show; no one ever saw that inside I was plagued with doubt and uncertainty. I had to be strong, or else all the good I had put into motion would crumble.
But was this really good? Was I was doing the right thing? Was this good for all, or just for me? Was I good enough to do this? Was I just scared?
The thoughts whirled round and round in my head, accenting my fears.
You are not significant, you cannot be, however hard you try.
You are not loved, and never will be.
You are nothing, and you always will be.
You can’t do this, you’ll fail and will always be insignificant and unloved. You will be nothing but a disgrace and a failure.
I sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. I heard footsteps coming and closed my eyes, Petrus couldn’t see me like this. I needed to prove to him I was strong enough. I needed to be strong enough.
“My lady?”
I opened my eyes to see O’Malley, looking down on me with gentle worried eyes.
“Telyina, dear, are you alright?”
I nodded vigorously, “I’m alright O’Malley,” I stood up, “Why shouldn’t I be?”
O’Malley looked on me sadly, “My dear, sometimes I think you forget that your eyes turn blue when you’re sad, just like every other Huisic on this planet.”
I looked into the mirror hanging beside the television. I looked miserable, and my eyes were such a deep blue that it was a wonder they weren’t glowing.
“What’s wrong?” O’Malley asked, guiding me to a seat at the table.
“I’m scared,” I admitted, feeling tears come into my eyes, “I’m scared I’ll fail, that I’ll never amount to anything. I’m scared of not being enough.”
“Telyina,” O’Malley said, gently, but firmly, “Listen to me. You are enough. You don’t have to rule the world to be significant. Just being Telyina makes you enough, makes you significant.”
“It doesn’t feel like it though,” I said, shaking my head, “I feel like, if I was gone, they world wouldn’t even miss me.”
“That’s not true,” O’Malley shook his head, “I would miss you. Petrus would miss you. And, Telyina, your life has an important role in the entire scheme of life. Just because it doesn’t feel like it doesn’t mean it’s not true. And you don’t have to be anything other than yourself to be significant.”
I didn’t quite believe him, but I smiled all the same, “Thank you. You’re always there for me O’Malley, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
The elevator dinged, and Petrus stepped out, “We’re ready for you Tel!”
I stood up and turned to go, but O’Malley stopped me, “Remember Telyina, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. You don’t have to be a world leader to be significant.”
“The plans are made, it’s not like I have much of a choice,” I joked.
O’Malley shook his head, “You always have a choice, Telyina, remember that.”
I paused and looked back at O’Malley, his sad smile hit me like a cinderblock. It hurt him to see me hurting. He was more than just loyal. He cared… even if I sat and did nothing all day he’d love me.
Unthinking I ran back to where he stood and gave him a hug, “Thank you O’Malley.”
Then I turned and got in the elevator with Petrus. But O’Malley’s words stuck with me and I resolved to remember them, no matter what happened.