Deceiving My Bully Stepbrother

(Caspian)

I am f****d. It's official..and I don't know what the hell I am going to do.

I let my eyes wander across the pool, landing on Johnnie's beautiful face as she let out a carefree laugh..the sound of it made my heart race as I tried my hardest not to stare...but I was fuming.. She wasn't just laughing at anyone..she was laughing at that Aussie prick's joke..

I thought this summer would be just as easy as the last five...I thought I could control these urges and keep my true feelings to myself..but of course, she had to become even more beautiful.

I could see the changes..even though that s**t didn't matter...Johnnie was the type of girl who would look beautiful no matter what..

That's why this s**t of a situation has gotten worse..and then that grabby blonde f*****g got her claws into me..okay..maybe I wanted to make Johnnie a little jealous...but then I was so damn focused on what Johnnie was doing that I didn't even realize the chick had been kissing me on the damn neck...I know... that's how bad I've got it.

I tried pushing Johnnie away..I tried to make her look at me with the same hatred I felt inside. But when she finally did..it f*****g broke me.

It all started five years ago..it was a summer just like this. Our families came to Florida and it was the night before we had to go back home. Johnnie's dad always went out to get us fireworks and I remember a storm was coming in so it was colder than usual. I was fourteen at the time and I looked over at Johnnie, her arms were wrapped around her body as a shiver trembled through her..she always seemed to get cold so damn easily.

"Hey, let me go get you a jacket." I said, causing her big beautiful grey eyes to look at me with such innocence that I felt butterflies flood through me. It was always f*****g butterflies with this one I swear..

"No..it's okay..you don't have to." She rushed out, causing me to smile before getting to my feet.

"I will be quick..I can help your mom with the snacks anyway." I made the excuse as I watched her head nod up and down as I quickly jogged back to the house.

My mom was helping Neal, Johnnie's dad, with the fireworks so I knew Heather probably could use the help.

She was like a second mom to me..I loved Heather..and I always thought that just maybe she would be my mother-in-law one day..

Then it all blew up in my face.

I walked towards the house, realizing my dad's rental car was in the driveway, and knew he must've just got back.

I stepped into the kitchen and then I heard it..the sound of moaning and panting as my brow furrowed in confusion. I stepped down the hall, making my way to Dad's office as my heart began hammering in my chest..was he watching p**n or some s**t?

The sounds became even louder as I crept closer and closer..and then I saw it. Dad had Heather bent over his desk as he rammed into her from behind..in that single moment..everything changed.

I knew Dad wasn't the closest with us..he worked a lot and stayed out late most nights but to see this level of betrayal..especially to my mom..it made me sick to my stomach.

I ran outside to the front, vomiting into the bushes as I tried so damn hard to get that image out of my head..

How could he..how could she?! Heather was Mom's best f*****g friend and she was screwing her husband..

I didn't go back to the beach that night..I stayed in my room and I felt disgusting..I felt like this filthy little secret I was keeping inside made me feel vile.

Then that hatred started turning into something else..I began pushing Johnnie away..the image of her mom's betrayal tainting the image of my beautiful girl.

I felt disgusting for being in love with the daughter of my dad's mistress..it would just be another betrayal against my mom..the idea that I would choose that homewrecker's daughter over my own mother made my heart hurt..

So I did everything in my power to make her not want anything to do with me..but that didn't stop my sick obsession. I spread nasty rumors about her to keep the guys away..I slowly chipped away at her self-esteem until she was a mere fuckign shadow of herself..l ruined her..I became a worse monster than my own damn father.

I remember the day it was announced Neal Turner was lost at sea and declared deceased.

I went to their house with my mother, the place I had avoided for so damn long because I refused to relive those memories. I remember thinking it was all a sham and my mom was still unaware of the affair at the time.

I walked up to Johnnie's room, my hand hovering over the dark wood as I debated knocking..I knew her dad was everything to her..she loved him so damn much..I know she had to be hurting.

That's when I heard her heart-wrenching sobs...I turned my back to the door before sliding down and sitting on the floor, my head leaning back as I closed my eyes and just listened..too chicken s**t to go in as I felt my own tears sliding down. I had failed her so many damn times..that was just another one..

Now we are on this vacation and my Dad and Heather are acting like f*****g newlyweds already when no one but me knows they have been together for five f*****g years.

When Mom found out..she was devastated..more towards Heather than Dad..and I wanted to tell her so f*****g bad..but he begged me not to..after we came back that summer I confronted him..he promised it was a one-time mistake..he said he would never do it again.

Even Alder thinks it happened recently..he knows mom is upset, but she never told us directly what happened..but I knew..and I asked her about it. She told me the truth and said she found pictures in Dad's phone of Heather..pictures from years and years of speaking together.

I knew too..I saw the looks...the subtle touches and the lingering stares..I f*****g knew and I hated him for it. I hate him now..that's why this summer isn't going to end with a happily ever after..and you know what..I don't give a s**t anymore about any of it. I'm going to get Johnnie back..and I am going to make her mine, stepsister or not..because I might have a little secret of my own...I'm still madly and completely in love with her...and I have never loved anyone else...it has always been her..and now..now I have to fix this s**t somehow..and I don't even know where to begin.

f**k I'm screwed..