Death's Saviour

Author's Song of the Chapter: Hunter by Adam Jensen

Noah, Sally, and Chris are kind enough to allow me to stay with them as they take care of me while I try to remember who the hell I am. I sit outside and sway in a swinging chair as I look into the forest, I feel an odd deep pull towards it and it makes my skin itch uncomfortably. It’s almost like I belong in another skin or form, or something. Either way, I twist my hair around my finger absently as my mind races. Noah has set up an easel in the middle of the lawn, his brush flies over the canvas as he paints the trees. I’m amazed at how well he captures the depths and hidden little crooks of the forest, but he is missing some important colours.

“You’re missing some colours that will really bring out the depths of your painting!” I tell him as I move from my seat on the swing, taking his paints I mix up three different shades of green for him to try as I look into the forest.

I return Noah’s paints to him, he tries out the shades of green I mixed. I smile as his eyes light up when he adds the greens and creates a new dimension to his painting.

“You are a genius Dusk!” He raves as he continues to paint using new greens I provided him with.

My eyes are again drawn past him and towards the forest.

“I’m drawn to the forest in a weird way as if I belong in it. My skin feels tight and I’m almost starting to believe I’m supposed to be in another skin!” I explain frustrated with my body.

At my words, Noah stops his brush to look over his shoulder at me with one eyebrow raised concern written on his face. Over these past few weeks, I have learned only a little bit about Noah, but I learned more about his girl Hannah. Hannah, it’s odd how I feel like I know her even though Noah assures me that there is no possible way I could have, she disappeared and hasn’t been found. They don’t even know if she is alive or dead, something tells me I could find her if I wanted to. Alive or dead, that analogy makes my blood boil with a weird and consuming rage. I continue to gaze past Noah into the forest, again my skin itches and tingles like I don’t belong in it and maybe I don’t. I push myself up from where I swayed, carefully I move across the lawn as I go to the edge of the forest, I want to go into it. I’m about to step across the border and enter the trees when Noah speaks up.

“I really wouldn’t go in there if I were you, apparently the Wolves own it all. They would kill you for trespassing!” Noah calls behind me, I can tell he doesn’t believe his words but the word wolves seems to trigger me.

I sway, I place my hand against the closest tree as the world swings and in front of me appears a black wolf with my eyes looking out at me. I gasp as it speaks to me in my mind.

“No, this forest belongs to me, I own it.” I smile at the wolf saying the words it said to me aloud knowing it’s true.

Noah says something behind me but I don’t hear him as I reach my hand out to touch the wolf, to see if it’s real.

‘Come back to me Dusk, this is the real you. You belong here and you have a purpose to fulfill other than this boy!’ - The wolf seems to whisper straight into my mind it’s words sending a tremor through my body.

I stumble back as suddenly my body bursts into a thousand hot little flames of pain. I cry out and fall to the ground, arms come around me and then release me as my bones break, snap, and reform. Through all of this pain, I feel a sense of rightness, I know now the wolf didn’t lie to me, this is who I truly am. This will lead me back to the real me. I tremble until I get my paws under me and voices echo around me but I don’t hear them as memories slam into me like my nightmares. Turns out the nightmares are the real memories. I become so confused and overloaded with anger that I let out a deep snarl. When the world refocuses I see that I snarled at Chris who had approached me where I stand in my shredded clothes, as soon as I recognize him I quite myself lowering my lips to cover up the snarl as a wave of regret hits me. I turn my head meeting Noah’s eyes as he looks at me with his eyes wide open and full of horror that makes me take a step back whimpering as I go. A sound I recognize from all the farmer’s lands that I stayed too close to meets my ears causing me to move so that I look Sally straight in the eyes as she points a shotgun at me and makes her way closer to me.

“Sally, what are you doing?” Noah says in a strangled voice as he looks between me and the gun.

“Sally honey?” Chris asks when they gain no response from her.

I allow her to back me away using the gun, as my paws meet the forest’s edge I feel another deep wave of regret and a strange tugging in my chest that I have never felt before. I look at Noah hoping he can read the message in my eyes and my soul. I don’t know why but I am now attached to this boy, this could present a problem when it comes to doing what needs to be done. My whole purpose of returning to life was to exact revenge on my brother and his pack. Perhaps in all this death, I can have another purpose as well, this purpose could be could, it could be a saviour. Noah obviously suffers from his loss of Hannah and I could tell I was making him happy again. God, Hannah, I still feel like I’m missing some memories because I swear I knew her. Until I remember the least I can do is help Noah when he needs it. Sally pulls me from my thoughts as she shoves the gun up against my skin near my hip, if she were to shoot me there it would hurt but it would heal. I have faith and knowledge in that, that is what gives me the strength to look straight at her when I turn my head as the cool metal brushes my fur.

“No wolf shall ever be part of my household! You are a danger to us and you will only bring evil wherever you go. Your kind was killed for a reason and that reason is one that I believe in. Now leave here before I put a bullet hole in your side!” Sally seethes at me while spit flies from her mouth as she speaks.

Sally’s words send my blood boiling and I have to contain my fire as I can feel my fur begin to steam. She knows nothing about what really happened to my kind, she doesn’t know anything about the struggle I have been through or my story. Sally dares speak of the reason we were all slain, does she really know the reason or is she just tossing bullshit into my face. I do the stupidest thing I could probably have ever done and I shift back into human form as the gun moves against my skin pressing into my abdomen now.

“Shoot me, Sally. Shoot me if you need to, but do not ever speak of my kind or our story. You know nothing about us or what happened, you know nothing about me or my life! If you know the reason then surely you know my race was slaughtered and culled all because we didn’t follow the white furs rules, we had our own. Surely you knew that right?” I throw my words at her as my eyes blaze flames and it causes her to flinch for a moment before her grip on the gun returns to be steady as she continues to point it at me.

Sally’s eyes flit around as she tries to make sense of my words and I rein in my anger enough to make sure that I won’t lose it on these humans and burn them alive. They may have made me angry but the truth is they did take care of me while my mind healed, they did provide for me and give me the first-ever home I truly had since my parents were killed that night long ago. Besides they are good people at heart and I would never be capable of hurting them unless it was truly necessary.

“Is that true that they slaughtered all of the wolves with powers because you lived your lives differently?” Chris asks me cautiously from behind Sally and I hear Noah give a little sniffle.

“My own family was killed because we didn’t wait for the full moon to shift, we shifted freely whenever we felt and we lived a peaceful life out in the forest. Still, that didn’t stop the white furs from slaughtering my parents right in front of me, it didn’t stop my own brother from betraying me!” I mean to spit out in anger but all I can muster is a bitter sense of betrayal and hurt into my voice.

Their eyes go round and I know, I can feel and smell the pity wafting off of them which sends the worst feeling through my blood. Pity is not an emotion I ever wanted to be used on me, I hate the thought of even being pitied. Pity does not become me. I clench my fists together in an attempt to keep my cool, these are humans and they do not understand who I am or what I am capable of. All these humans know is some terrible sob story of a life, still, I will not stick around to be pitied. I turn away from them and move into the trees. When I shift they will take me back and shadow me like I am part of them, I am part of them, this forest is my only true home.

“Dusk!” Noah’s voice rips at my soul and I grow angrier because I do not understand why this human has such control over me already.

I turn my head over my shoulder to look at him and I do not see pity in his eyes, yet I can feel it beneath them, that stings. Damn these humans. I give my best pissed off glare, it works when Noah lowers his eyes to the ground in submission. I groan at how wrong that gesture feels since something in me begs Noah not to fear me. Yet, here I am giving him a reason to fear me.

′Noah, I’ll know if you need me.′ - I offer to him my tone light in his mind hoping he’ll hear me before I turn to disappear into the forest as I should have right away.

I shift and my paws fly over the terrain, hurt and pain worse than dying aches through me and it only makes me angry because I do not understand why this human could possibly have such a hold over me. No one has ever, in my life, had such a hold over me and it scares me. I just met this human a week ago and it already feels so wrong to be separated from him, what the hell is wrong with me? I am the Hellhound, I am strong, but here I am worried over a small and vulnerable human. Sally wasn’t wrong about me, I am dangerous and everything about me shouts a mixture of trouble. For a brief second, I wonder how they felt about me before I remembered who I am, could they have loved that soft and fragile girl? The answer is no, there never was a soft and fragile girl, there was only ever me but I was cracked and broken. Now I am whole again. I make a mental note that hitting my head really hard causes temporary memory loss. It’s good to know that my healing powers even work on my mind. I run pushing myself, I have no sense of direction as I run, I just trust my paws to take me somewhere. I should track Crane and plan my next move but at this moment I can’t muster up the willpower to, I don’t want to kill right now, not until I have my head screwed back on straight. So I run and run, and run until my paws ache and my body begins to tire. Finally, when I think my paws are going to collapse beneath me I come across a huge mansion in the forest, it’s like a lost treasure in this dark world. The mansion structure looks to be in good condition, there are no broken windows or falling apart features that I can see from the outside. This mansion is a little daunting looking with all of the vines curling around it as they crawl down its sides and hang from all over. I can hear a stream gurgling not too far in the distance as I stand here in the long grass of this clearing looking up at this magnificent place that has been lost, now it is found. I move forward slowly as to make sure that I am not missing any signs of life, there is the odd scent of fresh deer coming from the house itself, however, I do not notice any lights on or any other signs of life. Another wolves scent suddenly hits me like a freight train causing me to throw my body to the ground letting the tall grass conceal me. I watch as a very dark gray wolf comes running from the forest, the wolf is elegant in the way it moves and it is for sure female from its scent. I find myself stunned when the she-wolf stops dead in her tracks while lifting her muzzle into the air as she has caught my scent. I see her eyes white and starring, big claw scars trailing over her eyelids and brows. She has been blinded, how could she survive alone in the forest? How long has she been here? Questions swim through my mind at a rapid pace as I stay pushed against the ground as she moves swiftly towards me. When she finds me I am in pure think mode, I don’t know whether to attack or flee this place and I can’t decide before her nose presses into my fur as she has no fear of me. Perhaps she thinks I’m dead, but that is impossible for I have no corpse or rotting smell about me. Still, she sniffs me over with no fear and I lay still not moving.

′Dusk, my child is that really you?′ - The she-wolf asks in my mind causing me to realize why she does not fear me, this is a voice I remember well from my childhood.

′Lora?′ - I send as a pure question as I relax while looking at her.

I start to recognize the sight of her, I start to recognize her scent from all those years ago.

’I thought you had perished with your parents my girl. Crane and his family have always been so proud that they slew the Alphas and their daughter. How, how are you here?′ - Lora questions in her mind as we move into an embrace, our shoulders brushing and our muzzles rubbing along each other’s sides.

′It is a long story Lora, however, I am here now and I have a duty to perform!′ - I tell Lora in a pressing tone.

If I were in human form tears would roll down my cheeks from the joy of having found someone alive that I called family once. The chance of finding a hidden jewel amongst this horrible, nightmarish, lifestyle makes my smile. Lora ushes me inside of the mansion I was previously admiring, we are silent as we eat deer that she freshly caught and prepared. When we are finished Lora explains what happened to her and how she ended up here as we curl up on the couches in human form.

“After those bastards killed you and your parents they came for the rest of us. They slaughtered us, they were merciless. I lost my sight in a battle with one of the betas and they left me alive because of it, they left me to be a lone survivor. I’m sure they just assumed I would eventually die of my wounds or be killed by some creature due to my blindness. They underestimated me as here I am alive all these years later!” Lora explains to me, as she talks my soul begins to feel the sorrow that I convert to anger.

“So, you have been here living alone in this mansion, waiting all these years?” I prod gently, there is no point in me apologizing for her misfortunes, doing such would only offend Lora.

“Yes, I’ve been here honing my other senses to keep myself alive and make up for the lack of my sight. My life has been horrible Dusk, I’ve been out here alone knowing that these monsters slaughtered our kind and not being able to lift a single claw about it!” Lora spits, her face hardening then softening again as she lets out a defeated sigh.

“I’ve been getting our revenge for us.” I simply state and Lora’s sightless eyes flicker up at my words.

“I knew those two deaths were no normal event, I knew someone is hunting those who deserved to be hunted. But, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I’m glad you’re avenging us. Oh, how I wish I could see the young woman you have grown to become.” Lora breathes out the last part tinged with a sense of deep bitter sadness as she wrings her hands in her lap.

I move from my seat towards Lora, carefully I take her hands in mine. We are silent as I close my eyes. I bring her hands up until her open palms rest on each side of my temple. Lora sucks in a breath as I show her, I show her what I look like now through our minds. I let Lora into my memories so that she can truly understand everything that I’ve been through. It’s like she is watching a movie in her mind, she is remembering my life so far with me. A flood gate opens as we relive everything I’ve faced, Lora cries when I cry, she grows angry when I grow angry, and in the end, she hates Crane as much as I do. I open my eyes as her hands fall away and I’m glad she knows now that it was Crane who destroyed everything that was good in our lives, he left us with nothing. For that Crane must pay. Silence passes between us and I allow Lora time to process and comprehend all that happened, all that I’ve experienced.

“So, you are drawn to this human boy? Noah?” Lora asks me breaking the silence, the softness of her voice throws me as this isn’t what I expected her to focus on.

“I suppose I am, though it is weird. I barely know Noah, still, it feels so wrong to be away from him. Noah is constantly in my thoughts, yet, he has a girlfriend who is missing, apparently, she looks strikingly like me other than she has blue eyes and blond hair.” I explain to Lora, I’m hoping she can provide me with a rather good explanation for all of this jumbled weirdness.

“A yes, the young Hannah, your doppelganger. She always told me she was good friends with you but I thought she was just a little impaired in the mind. I always figured if you were truly alive you would have already found me, guess I was wrong.” Lora claims, her words send a deep clench through my body as my head suddenly throbs.

A pressure rolls over my mind, I remember Hannah, her smile, her laugh as she would ride my back through the forest, her hands thrown out wide as if she were daring the forest to rip her from my back.

“Do you know what happened to her? To Hannah?” I question Lora, Lora looks up at me surprised, but, then sadness fills her eyes causing me to wish she wasn’t going to say what I think she was.

“Yes, I know what happened Dusk, but, if you do not remember than it is not for me to tell,” Lora tells me causing me to let out an annoyed huff of air.

For Noah’s sake I should remember what happened to Hannah, he deserves answers. My memory disagrees with me as it keeps that part of my mind in darkness, it is almost like a black hole has come through my mind and taken some parts away. I decide I’m going to have to wrestle with my mind in order to get my whole memory back.

“So, this tugging you feel towards Noah, do you think it is because of Hannah?” Lora prods me chancing the subject causing me to frown at her.

I have had enough questioning about Noah and the hold he has over me, it frustrates me to the point that I am exhausting myself to figure it out. I stand up from the couch we had settled on, I move away from Lora towards the hallways intent on exploring when suddenly I stop.

“No, it is like something mom once explained to me. It is like how the earth is drawn to the sun, other than it will not end in a fiery destruction but something beautiful, something perfect.” I repeat my mother’s words.

Mom used those words the first time I ever asked her how she knew my father was her mate. Her words repeated from my lips cause the meaning behind them to sink into me. Another deeper wave of frustration burns through me to my very core. I continue forwards, moving upwards into the depths of this house until I come to a room that I remember now. This was the room that my mother grew p in amongst her pack, the attic room with the window looking out over the forest. I move into the dusty room before I settle onto my mother’s childhood bed, it creaks and the springs groan but it is not uncomfortable. I close my eyes and picture my mother laying here, I feel closer to her again. I open my eyes and look up to find the stars my father painted all over the roof for my mother when they were younger. My father helped her father do it as a surprise for her eighteenth birthday, it was always one of my favourite stories she would tell me about her and my father. I curl into her bed allowing sleep to take me with the memories as I try to hang onto the good ones but, like always the nightmare comes dragging me into that terrible night all over again.