SWNOVELS Chapter Chapter Nine: Noah
Author's Song of the Chapter: Bad by Royal Deluxe
I’m walking down the back road and nearing the trailer park when I feel as though something is right behind me. At first, it is a horrible feeling that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up but, I relax because though I can't explain it I know it is Dusk even before I turn around. I can just sense her and smell her as her ever-present forest scent floods me, relief and anger flash through me.
“Why did you follow me?” I call out as I turn around, my jaw threatens to pop open at the sight of her.
Dusk is wearing a curve fitting pair of dark blue jeans with Hannah’s favourite set of work boots, the boots suit Dusk. I allow my eyes to drift up slowly as I take in the green low cutting shirt, my eyes flicker to her cleavage more than peeking out. I must pull my gaze away before I begin to awkwardly stare. My gaze travels up her neck to her face where her eyes are framed by black eyeliner and mascara that has me trembling with a deep urge to go and kiss her. The eyeliner makes her green eyes have many different shades to them, for the first time I notice the dark green that rims her irises, a dark green that matches her brother’s eye colour. Her mouth moves but I don’t hear her as I am too busy appreciating the way she looks, unknowingly I take a step towards her that has her raising an eyebrow at me.
“I’m not letting anything bad happen to you.” Dusk repeats for me, her words cause my heart to swell.
“I guess you talked to Perry and Carl then, which means you are the stunning new girl Caroline was bubbling about when I left,” I say, my words come out a bit awed at how Dusk went to such measures to find out what I was hiding from her because she wants to keep me safe.
“Noah you never have to be ashamed to show me anything about your life. I will never judge you or your lifestyle, it just isn’t who I am.” Dusk tells me in a raw voice, I don’t hold back the urge as I move pulling her into a hug.
“Thank you, for coming!” I whisper to her as I hold her tight against me, I try to tell myself this hug is purely platonic.
I’m lying to myself though even as the thought comes and goes from my mind. I don’t feel anything friendship wise to Dusk, I’m helplessly drawn to her in a way I’ve never experienced before. I want Dusk in a way than more just my body wanting hers, I want Dusk in every way possible. I want Dusk to be mine, no, I want to make Dusk mine. The thought of asking her to be mine circulates but I don’t feel confident enough to form the words, it’s too early still so instead I hold her while inhaling her exotic scent. When Dusk finally pulls out of my arms, I don’t know how she feels about me or even if she feels the same way I do. There are no words as we turn walking into the trailer park together. Dusk allows me my thoughts as I lead her through the park towards one of the oldest trailers on a lot near the very back. The trailer looks no different from the last I saw it on the outside, but I know what it contains can be deadly. As we near the trailer Dusk stops dead in her tracks sniffing the air before scrunching her nose. At first, I think she’s judging but then I wait for her to explain.
“Wolves live here.” Dusk finally states as she looks at my mom’s trailer, the news rattles me.
“This is my mom’s trailer,” I reply in shock as the news of what my mom and her boyfriend are hit me, no wonder this one is meaner.
Dusk just nods in response as she seems extra alert while we move up the little walkway and to the door. I knock once, twice before my mom pulls the door open, her hair is freshly wet, and she wears makeup. My mom wears a scuffed-up pair of jeans and a dusty t-shirt. I give her a small smile that she tried to clean herself up because I’m visiting, I get pulled into a tight hug that has me gasping for breath before my mom turns her attention to Dusk.
“You must be Hannah?” My mom asks, I see her words like a knife as they stab Dusk, but Dusk is quick to recover giving my mom a heart-warming smile even though both women are stiff.
“Actually, my name is Dusk. It’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you!” Dusk’s words light my mom’s eyes up and I feel guilty for not talking about her.
Mom is a good woman when she tries to be.
“I’m glad Noah finally brought a girl around to show off to his mamma, though Noah, I’m not sure where the heck you found such a beautiful young lady!” Mom sighs before flashing a beaming smile at Dusk even though I can feel a tension between the two of them.
Dusk gets pulled into a tight hug and her cheeks flush crimson red causing me to smirk. My mom ushers us inside and I notice she even managed to clean up the trailer for me, last time I was here it was a real mess. Beer bottles littered the floor and stacks of drugs were lined up on any surface.
“I have some questions for you mom,” I state when we settle down at the little table, I move over as Dusk sits beside me our shoulders brushing due to the minimal space and I can feel her muscles coiled ready to spring into actions.
“I knew this time would come, Noah, I knew eventually you would want to know about your father and your blood. No offence Dusk dear but you don’t hide the wolf well.” My mother says in a quiet voice, she must be sober today.
“Who was my father really, was he a wolf?” I question in a shaking voice; my mom pulls a small picture from her purse that was on the floor.
She hands the picture to me and I see a young man with a strong build smiling out at me, he has the same blue-grey eyes that I have. The mess of brown-black hair upon his head makes his cheeks look rosy. My father wears a leather jacket with a small wolf on the side of it along with a blue pair of jeans that have sunglasses hanging from the pocket. Dusk sucks in a little intake of air at the sight of my father, I know she recognizes him.
“His name is Jeremy Blackpaw, he was a wolf and he was the one true love of my life, my mate. I took this picture of him the day I told him I was pregnant with you. Jeremy was loving, caring and gentle. Your father had such a big heart Noah, he was excited to be starting a family. Three days after I took this he was attacked and killed as the first casualty of the wolf war, he was at his best friend’s house carving a crib for us when he was killed. Jeremy’s best friend Ryan avenged him, but as far as I know, Ryan is also dead.” My mom explains her voice swelling with pain at the thought of my father, she also smiles as she takes the picture back from me craddling it in her hands like it is the most precious thing in the world.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how was the pregnancy possible. I was taught a wolf couldn’t mate with a human without killing them?” Dusk questions her voice small; her words shake me to my very core as I look at her, but she keeps her eyes firmly on my mother.
“A wolf to human relationship is impossible. I am a wolf as well, I was free wolf once, but then I’ve lived my whole life as a human after losing Jeremy. When I lost Jeremy I lost my wolf.” My mom explains as her eyes gain a glassy look to them, she looks past us into lost memories.
I swallow, maybe there is still hope for Dusk and me since I have wolf-blood in my veins. I’m staring at Dusk, but I can’t help it this girl makes my heart beat wildly with one single intense look. Dusk has me wanting her in ways that I never even craved Hannah, she makes me think crazy thoughts and crazy words to explain those thoughts. I feel protective of Dusk though I don’t understand it cause I can’t protect her. Dusk looks over at me, her eyes soften as though she is trying to convey a message. I read it as an apology for dropping the news of how humans and wolves work in relationships with me. I give her a small smile that contains the hope I have for us.
“Oh, oh, are you two? Dear Lord, please tell me you aren’t! My son maybe be a wolf but he can’t shift, he has no powers, he is basically a human. You couldn’t work and if it’s true then it’s not fair to either of you! No, you could never be what Noah needs Dusk. Please tell me I’m wrong!” My mom bursts suddenly, her thoughts and words jumbled.
Dusk glares at my mother before closing her eyes. When Dusk reopens them, she has a completely pained look on her face that causes my mother to put her head into her hands.
“What’s going on?” I ask when they both fall silent, Dusk closes her eyes again taking a deep breath.
When Dusk reopens her eyes the look she is giving me has my heart thumping in overdrive, but it also is a look that scares me because it is more intense than any look she has ever previously given me.
“Yes, it’s true, Noah is my mate. I’ve known since the first time I met him, he made me feel safe. I haven’t felt safe in life since my own death, only a true connection can cause that. I am drawn to him in a way I have never been drawn to anything, not even the forest or the moon. Though it may not be fair, Noah you are the only guy my soul will ever want. I am forever tied to you you even if you are not capable of feeling it because you’ve never shifted. Do understand that I would never expect you to feel the same, I understand that I can’t ever mate with you and complete the bond but I will always be your protector!” Dusk exclaims her words coming out gently even though her voice shakes and she has me completely captivated.
I open my mouth to speak but no words come out as I try to wrap my head around this. I am Dusk’s mate, I make her feel safe, those are facts. Dusk and I have a true connection, she is drawn to me, she is tied to me in every single way with her wolf soul. I am the one who was made for her, I let my mouth gape open again as I realize what this all means. The first emotion that hits me is anger because of those last few sentences, we can never be together, we can never complete the bond. I can never properly be Dusk’s mate, I will always just be someone she is drawn to, she has accepted that. Dusk doesn’t expect me to feel anything she has described towards her, that stings. Dusk underestimates my wolf-blood strength.
“I think there is more wolf in me than you give me credit for, I have been drawn to you since that day I found you. I feel empty when you are not around, and I don’t know how but it’s like since finding you the blood has become stronger because today I could smell and sense that it was you following me before I turned around. I think you are also my mate, but I’ve never shifted!” I say, my first thoughts are full of hope, but I remember the thing holding Dusk back from me.
I need to be able to shift, I need to have that wolf strength so that when she touches me she doesn’t have to worry about hurting me. I yearn for that so much; my mom clears her throat. We both turn to look at her and she is looking between us with such sadness in her eyes that it makes my chest feel heavy and my airway tight. Out of nowhere a cold chill hits me causing me to shiver randomly.
“I’ve booked myself into rehab, Noah. I want to get better, to be there for you. I’m leaving after we’re done talking to go straight there.” Mom tells us in a happy voice, she gives me a genuine smile that makes me feel proud of her.
Mom is making a move to improve herself. I smile even wider as I decide this means she must have lost her loser boyfriend somehow, I thought that would never happen since I didn’t think he would ever let her go. This guy is the type of douche who is extremely possessive of his playthings, my mom being one of those.
“How did you get rid of your boyfriend?” I question, my mom pales and her eyes flit around.
“I’m leaving before he comes back, he is on a drug deal right now but I promise Noah I am done with all that!” My mom explains in a tone laced with fear but also determination.
“When was he supposed to be getting back?” Dusk asks suddenly, her tone urgent as her nose twitches and she shifts in the seat blocking me from the door view.
“Not until much later tonight!” Mom replies her tone now laced with panic, I’m confused.
“He’s back early.” I whimper as I understand, Dusk makes a move when the door opens causing her to stiffen.
In walks my mom’s boyfriend, he stops when he takes one look at all of us. His eyes take in Dusk as he does a full sweep of her body that makes me quiver with anger, then his eyes find me as they narrow. Before I can understand what is happening he has my mom by the hair picking her up from where she sits.
“I thought I told you he was never welcome back here!” Her boyfriend bellows before punching my mom sending her slamming into the closet behind us as she lands with a moan.
I move before I think as I rush up out of my seat trying to get to my mother, but her boyfriend catches me by the arm dragging me back towards him, his bloodshot eyes try to focus on mine. I flinch as his free hand moves down to his waistline where I know he keeps his gun; my eyes widen while panic consumes me. This guy has every intention of killing me this time. Suddenly Dusk has put herself between me and him as she backs me up to my mom, I focus on my mom as fear shoots through me. We watch as Dusk puts on a weird face that sends dread through my gut. I watch as she presses herself against him running her nails down his arms, disgust rises in my stomach.
“Hey big boy, if you let the old hag and her pig go then maybe you and I can have some fun?” Dusk purrs out her voice full of seduction that I didn’t know she had in her.
My mom’s boyfriend looks at Dusk pressed against him and then over her shoulder at my mom where she remains on the floor with me crouched beside her.
“Come on, you and I can actually go all night, I’m a wolf too after all. I can be a better pet, I can handle how rough you need to be!” Dusk purrs again, her voice dropped into a tone that has even me getting a little aroused.
I watch as she teases her hand down his body and back up, I know when he gazes at Dusk he is giving up on me and my mom. Suddenly he pulls her against his body harder as he presses his lips to Dusks. I watch Dusk come alive against him, they are moving so fast as he picks her up keeping his hands on her ass as she wraps her legs around him. When he turns her to take her to the bedroom she gives me a frantic motion with one hand, this is when my brain kicks in. Dusk is distracting him for us, she is buying time for us to escape. I help my mom off the floor moving quickly as clothes come flying out the bedroom. I’m half in the entrance when I hear the gun go off, once, twice, and then my ears fill with a bunch of snarling sounds. I peak my head back and am almost bowled over as two wolves go tumbling by me into the closet as they snap and bite at each other. With a sickening, hypnotizing crack I watch as the white wolf falls its head slamming into the ground his eyes roll up in its head slamming into the ground eyes rolling up in its head as its tongue hangs limply from its lips. Dusk hilled him, she snapped his neck like was a twig, now she stands over his body with a menacing look in her eyes. A deep heat rises in the trailer and I snatch at the nearest blanket to me. I watch as fire fills Dusk’s eyes, suddenly fire starts in the fur of the now-dead white wolf. Dusk looks up at me, she comes to me as the fire burns behind her, I stare at it dumbfounded at how it started. Dusk nudges me out the door as she follows me, she nudges me harder and suddenly I understand. The fire will cause the trailer to blow when it hits the natural gas line. Dusk kneels, I help my mom onto her back before climbing on as she moves us away just in time as heat blasts behind us, the trailer going up in a cloud of flames and smoke. We’ve moved a couple of trailers down when Dusk collapses into human form beneath us. I focus on getting my mom propped up against a fence before I turn my attention to Dusk, my eyes widen as she lays in the dirt bleeding. Blood seeps from a bullet wound in her abdomen and her shoulder, quickly she digs the bullets from her body as I wrap her up in the blanket because people are starting to gather. I know we can’t be having questions asked. I settle in between Dusk and mom as I pull them both against me to comfort them, or maybe to comfort myself. Dusk stares off in the distance horror and disgust spreading across her face over what she had to do to protect us. Suddenly she spits rubbing the blanket over her lips and body trying to rid herself of him.
“You saved us, thank you for doing that even though seduction is never something a young girl should have to use.” Mom croaks to Dusk who simply gives a nod as she is still in her own horror.
“How, how did the fire start?” I whisper to her causing her eyes to clear as she glances back at the burning trailer that people have gathered around.
“I’m a Hellhound.” Dusk replies as if that should explain everything to me.
When she sees that I’m still lost she pulls one arm free of the blanket and with a blink she has a fire burning from the skin of her hand. At first, it is just a normal fire but then it shifts turning into a little fire wolf that runs around on her hand. When I reach for it she jerks away, I think how silly that was, of course, it will burn me. Maybe it won’t, I reach for it again and this time she doesn’t flinch away as if she read my thoughts. I move my hand close enough that her fire should burn me but all I feel is her pain. Dusk’s eyes widen, she passes the wolf into my hands controling it against my skin as it doesn’t burn me. Sirens blare in the distance distracting us and the fire wolf turns into vapour in my hands.
“You truly are the Hellhound, the wolf of legends. Noah, you must keep her close!” My mother murmurs as she breathes ragged breaths.
Dusk shifts allowing me to see that she has bled through the blanket in both spots that she was short, I have her show me them quickly but they are simply healed spots of dried blood. I pull Dusk into my lap holding her in such a way that I hide the bloody spots as police cars, ambulances, and a fire truck show up in the park. They go roaring by us to the trailer until one officer notices us huddling against the fence.
“Ma’am you need medical services!” The officer exclaims as he crouches down to meet my mom at eye level, when he presses lightly on her ribs he blushes as she moans.
I watch as they talk, the officer helps my mom to an ambulance and my mom starts to use a flirty one causing me to roll my eyes at how quickly she moves. I’ll give her credit for how smooth the officer it to her, at least this one is decent on the outside.
“Are either of you injured?” Another officer asks as he comes over to Dusk and me, we both shake our heads no as the ambulance prepares to leave.
“You should go with your mom.” Dusk whispers to me but I shake my head.
“I’m right where I need to be, she’ll be okay,” I respond quietly.
Firefighters work to put out the flaming trailer as the officer continues to look down at us.
“Can you tell me what happened here?” The officer questions, I gear up for whatever lies we are about to feed him when Dusk speaks.
“We were meeting with Noah’s mom to talk about his family history for a school project. Noah’s mom’s boyfriend came back to the trailer early from a drug deal and found us there, he was not pleased so he starting beating Noah’s mom. He was going to kill them, I stopped him from doing so by seducing him. I distracted him long enough to let Noah and his mom escape, at this point he fired his gun off twice missing me. When his gun didn’t kill us, he shifted attacking me. You see officer, I’m a wolf as well, in fact, I’m the last of my kind so my face can’t get out. We fought in wolf form jostling around, when we crashed into the stove it must have set off the propane because next thing I knew a fire started. The boyfriend was still coming at me and had every intention of killing me so in self-defence I protected myself knocking him into the fridge at such an angle that his neck snapped. I escaped the trailer not having time to grab his body as the trailer was ready to blow. I’m so sorry officer, I killed him. I took his life… I...I.” Dusk trails off while the officer looks down at us with a deep sympathy as Dusk’s eyes fill up with an overflow of tears, there is something else in his eyes as well.
“It’s okay Hellhound, you did the right thing and it saved this young man and his mother’s life. As for your identity and the true origin of the fire and cause of death those are safe with me. I’m a believer in the legend after all. You did the best you could.” The officer tells us as he kneels to look at us before squeezing our shoulders as Dusk completely tenses up against me.
“Officer would it be any trouble to get some extra clothes for my girl?” I ask as I motion to Dusk who is stock-still trying to figure out how this officer’s reaction should sit with her.
“Of course, yes, when she shifted they ripped, yeah, okay.” The officer sputters as he moves away before returning with an out-of-date officer's uniform for her.
The officer calls it a little souvenir as he lets Dusk change before taking us away in his car driving us back to Sally and Chris’s place. They pace nervously by the door when the officer rings the bell, they both look so relieved to see us alive and safe. They even hug us before the officer reminds Dusk of what a good job she did. Sally and Chris usher us into the dining room to eat and talk.
“I’m so sorry you had to kill him Dusk!” Chris exclaims in a sad tone as she looks at Dusk who stares at the floor.
Dusk’s eyes flicker to mine and I briefly see the ghosts haunting her there, the ghosts of those she’s killed. Her purpose is to get revenge against her brother and that involves killing people, but she hasn’t told Sally and Chris that so she has a guilty conscience. These two people view her as a good person but if they were to learn the truth than that might change. We get through the rest of dinner with minimal talking, Sally and Chris allow us to retreat up to my room. I think they have accepted that Dusk is here, she is welcome here, I also think that in some weird way they know how much she means to me even if they don’t understand it. Once we are up in my room and settling down Dusk lets out a deep sigh while something eats at my mind.
“Were you ever going to tell me about me being your mate?” I question causing Dusk’s eyes to flit to mine as she swallows.
“I was waiting for the right time. I didn’t want to be telling you about something that you wouldn’t understand, and I didn’t want to scare you off. Plus, I didn’t know if I was tied to someone with no hope of ever having anything with them. I’m still not sure of that part.” Dusk tells me, her voice so small as I hear a small amount of fear within it, Dusk is never scared.
Dusk has fear about us being mates because we can never truly be together, fear for our hearts. I let out a small sigh of my own as I feel the same fear she feels. We are tied together without any real destiny.
“I’m not sure how I feel now knowing I’m a wolf. I don’t know if I am happy with knowing that. I was happy with who I am, I’m not sure I could handle being a wolf. I’m not sure I could handle being like you. Would I have to leave my life and go into hiding, would I have to live as you do?” I speak my thoughts freely but it’s a mistake as I’m hit with a burst of fury as Dusk attempts to cover up the hurt she is feeling from the impact of my words.
“I’m sorry being like me and having a look at the way I am living life isn’t pleasing to you! I’m sorry you prefer to live a lie and never embrace what you could be!” Dusk spits at me her eyes glowing and I’m momentarily distracted by the lack of a rising heartbeat in her.
I’m distracted by how Dusk has no heartbeat, how long have I been missing that? How can I be with someone who has no heart?
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it!” I whisper out as her eyes begin to glow as she looks at me with a new intensity that makes me want to squirm.
“Then what did you mean Noah? Did you mean you don’t want to be me because my parents are dead murdered by my own brother? Or did you mean you don’t want to be like me because I’m someone who kills, I’m a danger? Perhaps you don’t want this life because I can’t ever be Hannah? Who would want to be mated to a freak of nature, to a girl who died and has no heart?” Dusk seethes, her voice becoming a mixture of human and animal as her wolf springs over her shoulders.
Dusk’s last claim quiets her as she pales leaning against the wall as shock vibrates through me. I think to all the shows I’ve ever seen and none of them depict dying and coming back to life as being something natural, it’s something consequential. That consequence being Dusk’s heart. I squint a little as I’m thinking when Dusk suddenly growls at me pulling me from my mind, I know she has been reading my thoughts as they come. Her eyes blaze pure hurt and then they go hard shutting me out. Dusk moves for the door walking out of the bedroom slamming the door behind her rattling the hinges. I move as she moves through the house heading for the back patio, I’m chasing her. Dusk settles down on the grass in the backyard hugging her knees to her chest as I follow her calling her name. I’m cursing myself because I judged her when she was so good about my mom. I blink and she is gone like a ghost in the night leaving me alone in the backyard to fall to my knees. My chest aches as shivers crawl into my bones, I just drove Dusk away, I just drove Dusk away. The weight of that rocks me as I curl into the grass as I try to regain my composure to go after her in the forest. Suddenly I hear something that rips through my very soul, a howling sings out into the night, I know in my heart it’s Dusk howling at the sky unleashing the emotions she shut me out of. Dusk shutting me out hurts me in a way that I didn’t know could possibly hurt me this badly. Her voice cracks me open like a scalpel cutting my heart out as shivers overtake me while my stomach rolls with nausea. Suddenly I feel torn, I feel torn between two worlds and my skin itches like it isn’t mine. My body feels weird as if it isn’t my own, something is happening to me but I don’t understand what it is.