Daydreamer

Lucy

This was a complete disaster.

I looked like a right numpty in my jumper and Uggs. But Felix had said it was a house party. What he failed to mention was that it was in one of the poshest houses in London, complete with a shiny marble entrance hall and multiple servers circulating with champagne and canapés. A house party back in Little Buckingham consisted of a six-pack of beer, maybe some cider if we were feeling fancy and a large bag of Wotsits. Sometimes Trina, who worked behind the counter at the Post Office, would wear the occasional mini-skirt, but that was as smart as it got. Every woman here was immaculate. They were all in heels and looked like they had collectively stepped off a shoot for Vogue. The men had all clearly come straight from work in their tailored suits. There wasn’t a pair of jeans or a bottle of beer to be seen.

With all these people and the fancy environment, I felt like I was drowning. It took all my willpower not to bolt back out of the front door. I tried to stop the rising panic with the techniques Mum had taught me: look for three things you can see, two things you can smell and one thing you can feel. Okay, well, three things I could see – Felix looking absolutely gorgeous as always, Will smirking at me from across the room and now a glamorous, tall woman sweeping up to Felix and kissing him on the cheek. Okay, none of that was exactly helping with my impending panic attack.

“Felix, darling!” the woman cooed. “Where have you been hiding, you naughty man.”

As I stood next to him, feeling like a spare part, I tried to move on to two things I could smell. Well, the only thing I could smell was this woman’s overpowering, expensive perfume – so no help there either.

“Felix, mate.” A suited man approached him from our other side. “How’s it going? Heard about the Hyde Park development. Bit ballsy thinking you’ll get the planning?” As various glamorous people engulfed Felix, I was pushed further and further out of the increasingly large circle forming around him. Okay, something I could feel – I fiddled with the sleeves of my jumper, realising this one had particularly large holes in it and feeling super awkward.

“How do you like Felix’s house?” I startled at the voice right next to me and turned to see Tabitha standing there, holding a glass of champagne, staring down her nose at me.

“Er… is this Felix’s?” I asked stupidly, willing my heart rate to slow down and the nausea to recede. At least Tabitha was a familiar face.

But Felix hadn’t told me that it was his house party. Wow, his house was massive. Wasn’t it a bit weird to live somewhere this huge if it was just you? Somehow that wasn’t how I viewed Felix. He’d always preferred Mum’s cottage to his parents’ mega-mansion. I’d just assumed he would want to live somewhere more cozy. This was anything but.

Tabitha’s eyebrows went up. “Yes,” she said slowly. “I thought you were family friends or something? Bit weird that you don’t even know where he lives.”

“I think family friends is stretching it a bit,” I mumbled, feeling more and more out of place. “Felix just owed my mum a favour.” I scuffed my foot on the floor and bit my lip. Truthfully, it was a little hurtful that I hadn’t even seen his house so far when I’d been in London for a month.

Tabitha snorted. “Your mum got you the job? That must have been one whopping favour he owed her.”

I forced a small laugh. “Mum was Felix’s nanny.” A waiter came past and offered me a tall glass of champagne. There weren’t any pints of cider, so I took it with a muttered thanks, suppressing a grimace – fizzy wine was gross.

“Oh, so she was staff. Not exactly a favour she did him then, more a term of her employment.”

Wow. Tabitha was a bitch. I tried to give people the benefit of the doubt, but there was simply no getting away from this fact. I looked left and right, trying to see an out as I felt my pulse beating in my ears. Felix was still engulfed in people. Someone bumped into me from behind, and I flew forward a step. Unfortunately, it caused the contents of my glass to fly out over Tabitha’s shirt.

“Oh shit,” I said in a horrified whisper. “Tabitha, I’m so sorry.” I started trying to dry up the champagne with the sleeves of my jumper, but Tabitha shooed me back, her face red with fury.

“You are such an unrelenting idiot,” she muttered, holding her soaking shirt away from her skin.

“Ah, Tabitha,” Vanessa, who worked in the publicity department of Moretti Harding, came up and kissed Tabitha on the cheek followed by David, a sort of colleague I’d exchanged the odd greeting with over tea in the break room. “How are you, darling? Christ, what’s happened here?”

I started to edge away, but Tabitha stopped me in my tracks. “Lucy happened,” Tabitha snapped. “Did you guys know that she’s Felix’s nanny’s daughter? Apparently her tenuous connection to Felix gives her the right to work at one of the top companies in the country and throw champagne over unsuspecting, connectionless employees.”

“TBea,” David’s voice held a note of warning. His brows were lowered, and he looked supremely uncomfortable with her tirade. “Hey, Lucy,” he nodded awkwardly towards me. “I come in peace, and this shirt is new, so…”

I smiled at him. “Don’t worry, I’m unarmed.” I said, waving my now empty champagne glass (at least I didn’t have to drink the stuff anymore).

“Oh hi, Luce,” Vanessa said, giving me a friendly smile. “Thanks again for helping out this week.” I’d taken a panicked phone call from Vanessa a couple of weeks ago about the publicity campaign for a new Moretti Harding housing development just outside London. She’d wanted me to pass a message onto Will, but I realised that with my experience with advertising, I could actually help her myself. So that’s how I ended up sorting some of the ad copy for the campaigns they were running.

Tabitha’s eyebrows were in her hairline. “Lucy helped you? Seriously?”

“Er… yes, of course. Lucy’s really creative.”

Tabitha rolled her eyes then gave me a fake smile. “Maybe you might like to put the same effort in at your actual job, Lucy?”

“Oh wow, look at the vultures descending on Felix,” Vanessa said in an obvious attempt to change the subject. “I don’t think he’ll be coming up for air for a while.”

They all started talking businessy, financy, property stuff and, as was my way if faced with a situation I couldn’t deal with, I zoned out.

“What do you think, Lucy?” Tabitha’s voice snapped me back into the room, and I blinked.

“Er… what?”

“What do you think about Dyson?”

“Oh…” Why was she asking me about hoovers? God, how long had I been daydreaming? “Well, Mum’s got a handheld one. She uses it for the car mainly. Swears by it.”

David’s shoulders started shaking, Vanessa was valiantly holding back a smile, but Tabitha didn’t bother. She openly laughed at me. “That’s interesting info, Lucy,” she said through her amusement. I felt my cheeks start to heat. “But I was actually referring to the crash of their stock last week and how it should influence the market.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, bit of a dunce when it comes to all this finance stuff really.”

“Yes,” Tabitha agreed. “Which begs the question: why are you working in a job that you have no interest, no aptitude and no talent for?”

“TBea, that’s enough,” David snapped, the amusement now leaving his expression.

“It’s a fair question,” Tabitha said. She looked furious. But it wasn’t like I could explain that I just wanted to potter up to London, see if I could make some new friends, come out of my shell a bit and gain a bit of confidence so that I wasn’t stuck as a recluse in Little Buckingham for the rest of my life, never getting to meet any of my readers.

University hadn’t really been an option for me after school. Mum didn’t have the money to afford the fees, and I wouldn’t have managed working as well as doing a degree. Also, at that stage, I just didn’t want to leave home – my friends were all staying in the village, and I’d never been particularly outgoing. I wasn’t ready for independence at eighteen.

In fact, it was becoming increasingly obvious that I wasn’t ready for it at twenty-seven. Perhaps I should have set my sights much closer to Little Buckingham. Looking back, I don’t know why I decided on the nuclear option of London. But Mum had been so keen when I brought it up. And when she’d suggested asking Felix for a job, I’m ashamed to say I jumped at the chance. Maybe, I thought, now that I was older, I might stand a small chance with him. Maybe he wouldn’t just see me as a quirky kid anymore. Looking around the room at all the glamorous women I felt really stupid. I was living in cloud cuckoo land if I thought Felix would ever look twice at me.

“Yes, well,” I said in a small voice, avoiding eye contact with the others. “I can see how that’s annoying. Erm… sorry, guys. I’d better be going. I’ve, um… got a thing. So…” As I shuffled away from the group, I heard Vanessa call my name, but fortunately it was easy enough to slip unnoticed through the crowd. Now, if I could just find the bloody exit that would be great. I was starving as well. The only thing that had been offered to me here was tiny little food on trays, but it was all fish eggs and fancy scallops – not a sausage roll or a Wotsit in sight. I started to scan the crowd, looking for Felix so I could say goodbye, but then slammed into a large body and nearly fell backwards.

“Look who’s come out to play,” Will said. I took a quick step back from him, but my retreat was hampered by the crowds around us. “Still rocking hobo chic, I see, Mayweather?” As he leaned in then to speak into my ear his hand came up to grab my arm, and his voice became a harsh whisper. “Where are those tight little skirts from earlier, huh? Back to hiding the goods away, are we?”

I yanked my arm down, dislodging his grip. His face darkened at my rejection, settling into a familiar scowl. I felt a shiver of fear go up my spine. “Got to admit it’s a bit galling that an incompetent, scruffy little upstart managed to get me in the shit. Couldn’t just serve the tea without making a bloody scene, could you? Had to make me look bad.” He grabbed my arm again, squeezing tightly through my jumper. “What’s your hold over Felix anyway?” I was backing away from him now and trying to shake my arm free, but his grip was too tight.

“What are you doing?” At the sound of Victoria’s commanding tone, Will dropped my arm and retreated as if I was radioactive. We turned to see her and Lottie right next to us. Victoria was wearing a beautiful jumper dress with a slight gold shimmer and high-heeled boots, and Lottie was in one of the formal business dresses that she seemed to cycle regularly (her wardrobe didn’t seem to be nearly as extensive as everyone else in the office). Both of them were scowling at Will.

“Don’t know what you mean,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets and clearing his throat. “Luce and I were having a chat.”

“We saw you grab her, twice,” Victoria said, her voice still didn’t betray any emotion. It was like she was describing the weather report not reporting on a man grabbing a woman without her consent.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Will scoffed. “Luce and I were just bantering.”

“Take your banter,” Lottie said, her voice tight with anger. “And sod off. Right?”

Will gave Lottie a filthy look, muttered “jumped-up sidekick”, then stalked off, pushing his way roughly through the crowd.

“You okay?” Lottie asked. I turned from watching Will’s retreat to Lottie’s concerned face and gave her a shaky smile.

“It’s fine. Will’s just a bit pissed off. He thinks I showed him up at the meeting.”

“Lottie put it in my diary for tomorrow. I need to go to the board to have Will fired.”

“No!” I said, feeling a bit panicky. “Honestly, it’s fine. I don’t want to get Will fired.” The last thing I needed was for this all to be escalated, causing more problems for Felix. “He’s a bit of a dick, but to be fair, I am a really crap assistant.”

“It is not acceptable to grab someone like that,” Victoria informed me. “If that happened to me…” she shuddered, which was the first bit of human reaction I’d ever seen from her. “Well, it wouldn’t be good. I don’t respond well to unwelcome physical contact.”

“Honestly, it’s fine,” I said. “Please don’t say anything. He’s not worth the trouble.”

Victoria cocked her head to the side, considering me. “This is your decision to make, isn’t it?” She turned to Lottie. “This is one of those times when it’s not my choice.”

“Yes, hun,” Lottie said. “It is one of those times, I’m afraid.”

Victoria looked frustrated but resigned. “That is highly annoying.”

I smiled at her. “I’m sorry.”

She nodded. “I find it difficult to accept people making illogical choices.”

“Vicky can have a bit of a tricky time accepting other people’s autonomy,” Lottie put in with a smile. “But I have to say on this one, I agree with her. So if he ever does anything like that again you come to us, okay?’

“Okay.”

“So, you enjoying the party?” Lottie asked.

I shrugged. “Not really a party person,” I explained. “At least not parties like this.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Victoria put in. “Sheer torture. Lottie, how much longer do we have to stay.”

Lottie laughed. “Come on. You’ve spoken to all the peeps on your list. We can do one. Lucy, need a lift?”

“No, you guys go on. I came with Felix, so I’d better let him know before I leave,” I said, scanning the packed room for him.

Lottie and Victoria said goodbye, Lottie with a brief hug and Victoria a small head jerk, and I started pushing through the people towards where I thought I’d last seen Felix. Trouble was, I couldn’t find him no matter which way I turned. Being shorter than most other people was not ideal when trying to pick someone out of the crowd, and the lack of heels really exacerbated the problem. Eventually, I found myself on the other side of the room at the entrance to a small corridor. I heard Will’s obnoxious laugh from somewhere nearby, and on instinct scurried away down the deserted corridor, pushing open the first door I came to.

When I shut the heavy wood firmly behind me, all thoughts of the party, the people, Felix, Will, Victoria and Lottie left my brain as I took in the huge room. It was in the same minimalist style as the rest of the house, which I wasn’t a huge fan of – minimalism always freaked me out slightly. I mean, where’s all your stuff? I was way more of a cosy nick-nack type of girl. But this room had an advantage over the rest. A beautiful desk stood in the centre, with Felix’s laptop resting on top of a large proper ink blotting pad. And the stationary. Oh my God, the stationary: beautiful fountain pens, pencils of all grades, different coloured gel pens, all organised in a leather container.

I took a deep breath in. Felix’s expensive cologne lingered in the air. This room was clearly well-used. After I swiped a blanket from the window seat, I sat in his large leather office chair and held back a moan at how comfortable it was. Leaning back, I let the silence and the smell of Felix wash over me, and my mind started to drift. The thread of a story sparked in my imagination, and my eyes flew open. I knew from bitter experience that if I didn’t sketch the outline then and there, it could easily dissipate in my brain like smoke.

I moved Felix’s laptop out of the way and selected a beautiful pen which was the perfect weight in my hand and was definitely coming home with me. Then I looked down at the first sheet of the blotting pad, and I started to write. My outlines were like spider diagrams. They looked a bit crazy to the outside eye, but it was the only way I could organise my thoughts. I’d soon filled the first page and moved on to the one underneath. I was on a roll.