Daydream: A Novel (The Maple Hills Series Book 3)

WHEN THE FIRST THING I saw this morning was Lola in my kitchen wearing a hockey jersey inside out, I thought it was a bad omen.

I’ve never understood athletes and sports fans with their superstitions. Maybe it’s because I was raised by people who don’t believe in them. I’ve always raised an eyebrow at the team’s various habits: specific underwear, only certain playlists, the need to drive a precise way to the rink, to name a few.

But when Lola stood in front of me pouring coffee into two mugs, not even aware I was at the bottom of the stairs, I thought, Oh fuck. We’re going to lose today.

The thought made me want to be sick, and I realized quite how nervous I’d been pretending I wasn’t for our first game of the season. Hearing the words “Captain Debut” had quickly become my biggest pet peeve in the run-up to this game, but it was the moment I thought we were going to lose that I realized how responsible I feel for the success of this team.

That feeling doesn’t go away for one second of the day. I’m so hyperaware it makes me nauseous. We smash it, but the need to throw up only very slightly subsides. I expect a switch to flick on, to feel like I can do this, to become different somehow as I step off the ice with my teammates to celebrate in our locker room together, but I don’t.

I think about tomorrow, and next week, and the week after. I think about the shots we missed and… I think about everything far too much and it’s like I’m sinking beneath my own worries.

Nobody else is affected.

Nobody else is sinking.

Nobody else will understand because we still won, and for now, that’s all that matters.

I match their energy to their faces and smile, mirroring back exactly what they give me. I tell them we can do this again, and again, and again. I don’t want to become one of those superstitious people, but the last thing I’m going to do before I go to sleep is tell Lola to pour her morning coffee with her jersey inside out.

WHY IS IT ALWAYS WHEN I need some privacy that nobody wants to leave me alone?

Faulkner is nowhere to be found when I approach his office, so I let myself in and close the door behind me, pulling up Nate’s name on my phone.

“Hey, bud. Congrats on another win!” he says as soon as he answers. “I’m driving. Can you hear me properly?”

“Have you always said bud or has it only been since you moved to Vancouver? I can hear you.”

He’s quiet for a few seconds. “I honestly don’t know. I can’t remember… anyway. What’s up?”

“How did you do it?”

“Do what, Hen?”

I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I just know that despite the fact we won yesterday and today, I still feel like there’s so much more I should have done or need to do. Did I support the team enough? Did I answer questions well enough? How did I perform in comparison to last year? And how the hell am I going to keep it all together to do this repeatedly. How do I not fail my friends?

Before I can find a way to articulate that to Nate the office door opens and Faulkner walks in eating a muffin, looking somewhere between surprised and disgusted to find me in his office. “Doesn’t matter, got to go,” I say quickly, ending the call.

“Two wins does not give you the right to use my office, Turner,” he says. “What’re you doing in here?”

“Sorry, Coach. I was trying to find somewhere quiet to make a phone call. Bye.”

I speed past him before he has a chance to probe further. The locker room has emptied out, and once I’ve grabbed my bag, I head out, too. The adrenaline hasn’t quite worn off yet, and I feel oversensitive to every sound and light. I’m relieved when I see Russ in the hallway waiting with only Aurora, but I haven’t even reached him when our phones simultaneous ding.

PRETTY BEST FRIENDS

MATTIE

Honeypot for a belated birthday celebration?

KRIS

Yessssss. I feel like spending my monthly food allowance on two drinks.

LOLA

Go off, Budget King!!

LOLA

Count me out, shit to do

Bobby

It’s your boyfriend’s birthday how can we count you out?

ROBBIE

Yeah count me out, too. I have work to do

ANASTASIA

Not for me. I have an early start tomorrow and I want to video call Nate tonight. But congrats on the wins, guys!

MATTIE

I can’t believe my eyes right now.

“What’s happening?” Aurora asks, watching us read the messages as they roll in. “You guys go to The Honeypot after your wins? Campus bar too good for the hockey team?”

“It’s Nate and Robbie’s favorite place to drink,” Russ explains. “Nate was friends with a girl who worked there and would get tables and stuff for really cheap. I don’t think I’ve ever been.”

The honest answer is I don’t really like The Honeypot. I don’t really like nightclubs, but Nate went through so much effort to make sure I could go with them last year even though I’m underage that I didn’t know how to say I was fine hanging out at home alone. I’ve been there so many times that now I don’t know how to tell the people who love it that I don’t have a great time.

“It’s fine I guess,” I say. I knew either way people would want to party tonight, and I’d need to be there, but I was secretly hoping that maybe this weekend would be the one where everyone collectively decided to go home. I don’t often give in to pressure, but I feel like I need to be there to celebrate with the team. “I was going to see if Halle wanted to hang out.”

“You could probably catch her,” Aurora says, nodding to the exit. “She was shuffling toward the parking lot in the crowd when I came in here. She was with Cami Walker and Ava Jones. I’d suspect they’re still outside somewhere.”

“Wait, she’s here?”

Aurora nods slowly. “Yeah. Did she not mention it?”

“No.”

“Did you ask?” she says, looking at me knowingly.

I was going to ask her yesterday if she would be coming, but she said she might be helping out at Enchanted while the owners were at an event, so I didn’t. I intended to text her back and ask if she could come today, but I was so stressed by the Lola/jersey situation that I got distracted by Russ putting on a brand-new pair of socks and forgot.

“Text her,” Russ says. “Maybe don’t tell her you forgot about her.”

HALLE

Where are you?

Hey!! I’m on my way home

You were great!!

Are you drunk?

She doesn’t send me an answer, just a picture of Joy. Which, as far as I’m aware, means yes.

HALLE

What are you doing tonight?

Going to that new bar next to Enchanted that just opened

I’m not 21 yet but Ava says it’ll be fine

“Halle’s going to the new bar that has replaced the place Russ worked at. She said she isn’t twenty-one yet.” I’ve gone from not wanting to be anywhere near a busy, crowded place to wanting to check out the new bar.

“Tell her she can use Emilia’s fake ID,” Aurora says. “They look similar enough. No one will care if Halle’s boobs are on show.”

I bring up the chat with my friends and see the conversation has continued in the form of a debate about what to do tonight.

PRETTY BEST FRIENDS

HENRY

What about the replacement sketchy bar?

HENRY

Halle is going with her friends and is going to use Emilia’s ID

LOLA

Uh how?

RUSS

Aurora said they look similar enough and “no one will care if Halle’s boobs are on show”

BOBBY

No one say anything. Muffin is setting up a trap

MATTIE

I didn’t even know she had any, Hen. Promise

ANASTASIA

WHY are you guys like this?

LOLA

Let’s hope they don’t pay too much attention to height lol

KRIS

It’ll be fine. What’s 7 inches between friends

JAIDEN

That’s what Henry said to her last night

JAIDEN

Boom

JAIDEN

Good evening

JAIDEN

Who’s Halle?

LOLA

Jumpscare. Yuck

JAIDEN

Now that isn’t very nice is it

BOBBY

Halle is Henry’s new “friend” who he wants to spend all his time with but “definitely isn’t hooking up with”

MATTIE

I’m down to give sketchy bar 2.0 a chance.

KRIS

Same

ANASTASIA

It gorgeous there isn’t anything sketchy about it now

Russ is trying to hide his laugh at the same time as hiding his phone from Aurora. I switch back to Halle.

HALLE

We’re going, too. Aurora is bringing you a fake ID.

Thank you!! See you later

I—incredibly reluctantly—switch back to my friends.

PRETTY BEST FRIENDS

ANASTASIA

Of course they can be friends and not hook up JJ

KRIS

Are you really the person to champion that as a possibility?

LOLA

She’s so gorgeous I sort of want to bow at her feet

ROBBIE

I’d like to see how she’d react if you did that

MATTIE

No I get what you mean in a very platonic and not at all triggering to Henry way

RUSS

I think she’s a nice person

BOBBY

That’s the spirit, muffin

HENRY

Please don’t be weird to her. She’s my friend.

KRIS

We’re just playing, Cap. She’s great and we’ll stop

BOBBY

Message received mon capitaine

ROBBIE

Fuck it maybe one drink

MATTIE

Normality at last

I THINK EVERY SINGLE PERSON in LA decided to try to come to this bar tonight and I haven’t even seen Halle yet.

Four people have hit on me according to the guys, who take great enjoyment in keeping count, but I hadn’t noticed. I don’t know how many times I’ve checked my cell phone, but I now receive punches to the arm every time I tap my screen. I keep looking at the time, but I can’t actually remember what time it is.

It’s too hot. It’s too busy. It’s too loud. My clothes feel too tight and scratchy and it’s like I can feel my hair too much, but I need to be here for the team. And I do really want to see Halle. We were lucky to grab a few tables next to the wall when another big group left as we arrived, but even with more privacy than standing at the bar, it still feels too busy.

I didn’t notice Aurora was gone until she reappears, tailed by Halle and her friends. Halle immediately makes a beeline for me, grinning broadly. As she gets closer to where I’m sitting, her smile dulls and eyebrows pucker. “What’s wrong?”

How do you tell another person that you can feel parts of your body too much? And if whoever is in control of music puts on one more squeaky, repetitive, poorly remixed track that you might scream. “Not a fan of the noise.”

She nods and puts her purse down on the table beside my phone. “Can I touch your head? Just your ears and temples.”

Anyone else I’d have immediately said no, but I nod. She steps closer, positioning herself between my legs. The bar stool I’m sitting on puts us face to face and she really is even more beautiful up close.

Halle’s palms flatten over my ears, and she applies pressure gently. Her thumbs find my temples, and to anyone else she probably looks like she’s about to kiss me, but she’s muffling the noise. Leaning in toward my left ear, she lifts the pressure of her hand slightly. “Should we leave? You’ve had a big weekend. Nobody would blame you if you needed to rest.”

Her hair tickles against my cheek. I tuck it behind her ear, placing my mouth next to her ear so she can hear me. “You only just got here. Your friends…”

“We’ve been together for hours and they won’t mind. Let’s go!”

Before I can object she’s picking up her bag and walking toward Cami and Ava. She leans in and they both nod and smile, seemingly unbothered that I’m stealing her away. The guys all give me a look as I let them know I’m leaving, and I don’t have it in me to argue that we’re not leaving together in the way they think. Halle slides her hand into mine as we navigate out of the bar, and as soon as the fresh air hits me the tightness in my chest slowly begins to ease a little. “Sorry for ruining your night,” I say as I summon a car on my phone.

“Has anyone ever told you you apologize a lot?”

“Never.” I slide off my jacket and place it over her shoulders. “Here, you’re not wearing a lot and you might get cold.”

“Thank you. I’ve sobered up a lot after the game and I’m not as protected from my own, well, Ava’s, outfit choices.” She pulls it tighter. “You haven’t ruined my night, by the way. You could never.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t invite you to the game. I meant to, I just got in my head about something else. I’m happy you were there.”

“I did feel a little weird going at first. But Cami convinced me it wasn’t a big deal because it’s a sports game. I guess it’s just I would only go to Will’s games because I was invited, so I didn’t want you to think I was… I don’t even know. But you don’t need to be sorry.”

“We talk about Will far more than I’d like.”

She bursts out laughing, and the soft sound only helps to soothe me. “He responded to my story earlier. I posted a picture in a Maple Hills jersey and he said ‘jersey chaser lol.’ I think I stared at my phone for like forty-five seconds and then I got the giggles and couldn’t stop.”

I know Will texted her before our date, so it doesn’t surprise me. “Important question. Whose name was on your jersey?”

“It doesn’t have a name. It wasn’t actually mine, I borrowed it from Ava.”

The car pulls up to the curb and I hold the door open for her to climb in. “Yeah, we’re fixing that on Monday.”