Daughter of Dusk

Soren shifts, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. I put a hand on his shoulder.

“You know the story I used to tell you growing up?” Rhea starts, “The one you based your carving on?”

I glance up at the ceiling beam, where the figures of the story live proudly, before turning back to the conversation.

He nods. “Of course. The one about the King, right?”

“Yes.” She pauses. “That story isn’t exactly a legend.”

Silence falls over the conversation as she collects herself, taking several deep breaths. “The Queen in that story is . . .” She sighs. “A real person. She was me.”

What?

Thoughts pass through my mind like a rushing wind, nothing tactile enough for me to grab hold of and examine.

Would that mean . . .

“What I’m trying to say,” she continues, “is that I lived in the Manor for a time.” She turns to me. “Darius ruled, and I stood by his side.”

I feel the colour drain from my face. She . . .she was with Father?

I hear Soren gasp next to me, letting out a shaky exhale.

I put an arm around Soren as I bring my gaze back to Rhea, and the pieces all fall into place. Her eyes, her face shape, even her stature . . . I’ve seen it before. I’ve seen it my whole life. But not from her.

“You’re Nox and Melinoe’s mother.”

She nods. “That’s right.”

Soren remains silent for several moments, putting his head in his hands for a split second, before looking up again. “Why did you never tell me?”

“To protect you. If I had it my way, I never would have had you near that place. But . . . some things were beyond my control.”

“So if all that is true, then that makes me . . .”

“Nox and Melinoe’s half-brother. Yes.”

My mind blows back to the passages I found in the mysterious room and in the study. Or, should I say, Rhea’s mysterious room.

“I can only hope that Darius thinks the baby is his. For all I know, they could be. But somehow . . . I just know they aren’t.”

“The moment they were born and I saw the baby’s eyes, I knew.”

My jaw drops as the answers form in my mind. Soren was that baby. No wonder the passages in Father’s study reminded him of the story Rhea used to tell him.

But if that’s true, what would that mean for Soren and me?

He glances at me, blinking several times. “That wouldn’t make us, er, related, would it?”

Can he read my mind?

My eyes widen. “No, I don’t think so, right?” We turn to Rhea.

She shakes her head. “It doesn’t, from the sounds of things. You’re both half siblings to Nox and Melinoe, but you two would not be related by blood because you have two different sets of parents.”

Soren takes a couple of shaky breaths before regaining his presence, shock and disbelief swimming in his icy eyes. “Mother, tell me the full story.”

She nods. “When I was a girl, sometimes Darius would make visits with his family to the villages around the Manor, on tours. Much like this one, in fact.”

“So that’s how you met him?” I ask.

“Yes. To make a very long story short, we met off and on in childhood and grew a relationship from there as we got older.” She takes a breath. “Fast forward to when I was just barely nineteen, and I moved to the Manor to rule at his side and continue his line, his ‘legacy’ as he called it.” She curls her upper lip in disgust as the final words leave her.

“What happened?” Soren breathes.

She looks down, sadness in her eyes. “For the first little while, everything was perfect. And then, as soon as I had Nox and Melinoe, his attention shifted. All he cared about was power. That was all he ever truly cared about; I just hadn’t seen it before then. I was blind, too busy caught up in the excitement of it all, and he used those feelings to manipulate me. But once he had his heirs, he shut me away. I couldn’t leave, I couldn’t go outside, I was trapped. I did briefly consider using transportation magic to get me to Enas, but that was fleeting. Zala is my home.”

So that’s how she had the book on transportation magic! And why she knew it didn’t work in the Manor.

She continues on. “I still found some freedom, though. I would find periods of time and sneak away to my village, even just for an evening, where an old friend helped me through things.” She turns to Soren. “That was Landyn. Your father.”

Soren covers his mouth and nose with his hands, listening intently.

“The next part follows the original story pretty closely. Darius was happy to have another heir while I was pregnant. But as soon as I had you, Soren, there was almost instantly suspicion because you didn’t share any of Darius’s familial traits. Namely, because of the colour of your eyes.”

I knew as much from the journal entries we found, but the idea of Soren’s beautiful icelike eyes being the giveaway makes my heart ache.

“Oh.” Soren looks away.

She takes a breath, still addressing Soren. “Darius made it his mission to determine your true parentage. He eventually tracked down Landyn, and . . . killed him right in front of me. And then you and I were banished from the Manor.”

And then Father went to Kera and met Evangeline if my timeline is correct. Which means there’s no way Soren and I share any blood. We don’t share any parents. Father had me with Evangeline, and Rhea had Soren with Landyn. But because of Rhea’s past relationship with Father, Soren and I are unfortunately both half siblings to Nox and Melinoe. But Soren and I are not related to each other.

Rhea takes another breath. “That’s where I’ve left the story in the past, but there was one other layer to things I never told you.”

Soren listens closely, and I follow suit.

“Darius didn’t just let me go from the Manor with you, Soren. We made a deal. He would let me raise you without any of his influence or threats. And in return . . .you would go to the Manor to serve when you came of age.”

Soren is quiet for several moments as his silvery eyes widen. “So, when he seemingly handpicked me, that wasn’t random, was it?”

Rhea shakes her head. “No, it wasn’t. And we also agreed that when you fulfilled that role, he would place a sickness on me. One that would have eventually killed me, to eliminate any influence I had over you. So that he could have you completely under his wing.”

I cover my mouth with a gasp.

“You’re meddling in things you don’t understand, Luna.”

That explains why Father was asking so many questions about Rhea’s health before. And why he was so angry that I intervened.

I threw off everything and I had no idea.

Soren lets out a shaky exhale.

“Are you all right?” I rub his shoulder.

He nods. “Yeah, I just, I need a second to wrap my head around all this.” He pauses, getting up and giving Rhea a tight hug. “I’m so sorry, Mother.”

I’ve seen their closeness before, but this time it feels different. My whole life, I’ve never felt like I could ever be a part of a moment like this, or that I even deserved it. But this time, I somehow feel as though I’m a part of it, even if I’m not in the physical exchange of the embrace. A warmth spreads through my heart, extending from my chest to the tips of my fingers and toes, a smile spreading across my face.

This feels so foreign but so familiar to me at the same time. As though my soul was craving this sort of moment.

They release from the hug, and Soren looks between the two of us. “I’ll be right back.” He gives my shoulder a small squeeze and kisses me lightly, before heading out the door.

Silence falls in the room, and I look at Rhea as guilt suddenly hits me. I can’t imagine what she must be feeling, or how my presence here is affecting her. I’m a living reminder of her past, and here I am, intruding on her and her family.

“I’m sorry if my being here is causing anything unpleasant, I never dreamed that anything like this would happen.”

She gives me a weak smile. “I appreciate that my dear. I think I’ve realized I still harbour a lot of hate towards it all that I wasn’t aware of, and as hard as it all is, I don’t blame you for it.”

I think back to my previous actions at the Manor. “I know how that hate feels. If not the same, at least a version of it.”

She hums in response, before speaking once more. “All things considered, I want you to know I support your decision to go to Enas with Soren. It is the safest place for you both right now. But you have to promise me one thing.”

“Of course. Anything.”

She reaches forward, taking my hand as her silver eyes fix on mine. “You’re young. And you have so much life left to live. I can imagine how hard the first seventeen years of your life have been, but don’t let that hate consume you. Promise me you’ll find some happiness, even if it’s only for a moment.”

I feel the corners of my eyes dampen as I nod, a shaky exhale escaping me.

“You know, I can see a little of Darius in you. But being his daughter doesn’t make you who you are. Remember that.”

I nod again. “I will.” I pause with a sigh. “You’ve been so kind to me all this time, I just,” I can’t find the words to continue.

“You did heal me,” she assures with a light laugh. “I’m sure you know how much that meant to Soren and me. And you thwarted Darius’s plans, which I can’t pretend doesn’t make me a little gratified. But your lineage isn’t your fault. I’m not going to judge you for that.”

“Soren takes after you,” I breathe. “I just, well, thank you for everything.” I pause, changing the subject. “I’m going to go find him, I think I know where he might be.”

She smiles. “Of course. I think he’s going to need you after all this. Let me know if you need anything.”

I nod, giving her a small grin before getting up and heading out the door.

I can’t believe such a wonderful woman is the mother of Nox and Melinoe. But then, I think that has more to do with Father than anything else.

*

I find Soren sitting at the base of the willow tree, looking up at the branches. He glances at me as I move the curtain of leaves, entering the space. I can’t quite read his expression, but I think that’s because he’s so lost in thought. Or, he appears to be. But I can only imagine what’s going through his mind.

I sit down next to him at the base of the grand tree, putting an arm around him. “I thought I’d find you here. Are you doing okay?”

He glances at me before leaning his head on my shoulder. “Yeah, I think so. Just . . . wow. Mother went through so much and I had no idea.” His voice breaks, but only a little. “Would Nox and Melinoe know about all this?”

“I doubt it. I don’t think they know about Evangeline either. All they know is the narrative Father tells them.” I run a hand through his hair. “But you know Rhea’s actions were just for your own protection. I don’t think she intentionally kept the truth from you in some malicious attempt to keep you in the dark about things.”

“No, I know. I’m almost relieved I didn’t know while I was there, it would have made things so much more difficult, but I’m glad I know now. It’s just . . .I remember the day I got picked I was so excited, that I would get to go to the Manor and serve so close to Darius. Anyone I know would have killed to get a role like that. But just knowing how calculated that action was, and all the awful things Darius did to Mother. . .” He takes a breath.

“You know how dangerous Father can be. I – I’m so sorry you and Rhea had to feel the repercussions of that.”

He hums against me. “I was just thinking about Landyn. Mother told me a little about him the few times I asked. She said he was one of the kindest souls she had ever met, that he respected her so much, and always made her feel safe. She told me I only met him once before he died, but he was so happy to have a son. And now knowing the true reason why he died . . .” His voice breaks. “I just wish I had more time with him in this world.”

My heart tugs toward him, and I pull on the chain around his neck and hold the amulet stone in my hand. “You said yourself this was a way for you to feel close to him. Even if you never got to hear the sound of his voice, even if you don’t remember him, he’s still with you.” I pause, kissing the side of his head. “And I think he would be proud of the man you’ve grown up to be.”

He pulls away and looks at me with glassy eyes. “God, I love you.”

He pulls me against him, burying his face into my shoulder. I run my fingers through his hair as I hold him close, and his breath becomes shaky as drops of what feels like water fall onto my shoulder.

Neither of us says anything, but we don’t even need words in this moment. We have each other, that’s all that matters.

Slowly, his breath deepens, slowing back down to a normal pace as his body relaxes.

I don’t completely know what all this could mean for us. I don’t know if he’d still want to come to Kera with me after finding out his true identity, after finding out what his mother went through; I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to stay here, despite the danger it poses.

He pulls away after several minutes and our eyes meet, his face stained with dried tears. I brush my thumb against his cheek, causing him to chuckle softly as he places his hand on top of mine.

“Do you still want to go to Kera?” I ask. “I know it’s not really safe for you in this realm, especially now, but I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to try and make it work here.”

He shakes his head, squeezing my hand. “If anything, it makes me want to go even more now. I want to start something new with you, away from all this.” He cradles my cheek.

I hum gently, leaning into his hand. “I know exactly what you mean.”

“I can’t wait,” he whispers.

He kisses me again, under the protection of the willow, away from the world, away from everything that isn’t us. I want it to last forever; the feeling of his soft lips on mine, his hand in my hair, our hearts connecting more than ever before.

If I could exist in this moment for the rest of time, I would be the happiest person in the world.

He’s my everything.

I can’t wait to start the rest of my life with him.

*

After staying under the protection of the willow for just a little while longer, we decide to head back to his house to make our final preparations for going to Kera.

All things considered, Soren seems to be handling this well. Not that I thought he wouldn’t, of course. But it’s taken me an entire lifetime to get used to the idea of being related to Nox and Melinoe, and I’m still wrapping my head around it. Though, perhaps that partially has to do with our respective upbringings.

But despite it all, the excitement in the air is palpable as we make our way back through the trees, hand in hand. I catch myself thinking about walking through the forest path on Enas, the one close to the ocean. I can see all the colours now; I can see the wonderment on his face.

I can see us finding a willow tree on Kera. Even if there isn’t one there, I’ll find a way to plant one. Maybe Teagan could; it would be a gift to him.

We make our way back to the house, heading inside and shutting the door behind us. But as soon as the sound of the door closing hits my ears, a pit forms in my stomach.

Soren squeezes my hand. “Is everything okay?”

I look around the house, and nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. But I can’t shake the chills that have descended over me.

“I don’t know.” I shake my head. “Perhaps I’m just being paranoid.”

It’s like the darkness I’ve spent my whole life around, but there’s something else too.

Dread.

Something is very wrong. But what?

Rhea comes into the room, opening her mouth to speak, when a pounding sound on the door makes me jump.

“Rhea!”

Father’s voice sends me into the pit in my stomach, leading down, down, down, into a bottomless precipice, a place no light could ever reach.

Father has found us.