Darkness

May 25, 1812

Homochitto

Margaret

Dalila’s wedding is tomorrow, and today is a bustle of preparations. Deliveries have been coming from Natchez all morning, and Stephen has allowed me to pull the entire crew of slaves away from their work in the fields in order to help get everything set up. I am very grateful to him for allowing this, because it means the fields will be left alone for three days in a row - yesterday because the slaves had the day off for Sunday, today to prepare, and tomorrow for the wedding. But our overseer has assured us that the crop is fine, and he will be keeping his eyes on the fields to make sure there are no untoward events like birds or scavengers to spoil the cotton.

The weather seems likely to continue to be very fine, so Dalila’s wish to have the ceremony outdoors should be possible. We have arranged seats in the lawn area between our house and the garden, and set up a beautiful arch covered with leaves and flowers for Dalila and Moses to stand under while Gregor leads them through their vows. Ayola was very serious and diligent this morning as she helped to wind flower stems around the posts of the arch, seeming to fully understand the import of the coming occasion.

Hester is in the kitchen directing all of the female slaves who have been assigned to assist her for the duration of the event. They are preparing a wedding feast to enjoy after the ceremony takes place tomorrow morning.

When I asked Rosy to recruit Nadine to help order the food, I suppose I should have expected that a magnificent and extravagant spread would be the result. There is going to be enough food for all the guests and slaves to gorge themselves silly, to celebrate and eat and enjoy themselves all day long.

Dalila hardly knows what to make of all of this. She loves Moses, and I know their love is just as deep and profound as mine is for Stephen. But I think this is awkward for her, as a slave, to have such a fuss made over her. She has been closeted away in the kitchen with Hester and the other women all day, while Moses is out at their new cabin planting more flowers. At least that is what Stephen has described to me. Dalila has not seen her new home yet, and I felt it right to wait and not see it myself until she has. She might technically be my slave, but I feel much more than that for her. She is my friend. I want to make sure that every detail of this day is just right, that she has a beautiful memory of the day on which she marries her true love. She deserves that just as much as I do.

Stephen has even taken a break from his own work, insisting on remaining with me as I direct things from a seat in the parlor. My time is approaching, probably about two months away, and although I am still feeling quite well, my darling husband is extremely solicitous. I suspect that if he was still a doctor, no other pregnant woman would be experiencing this level of concern from him. It is only because he is my husband, and an expectant father, that he flutters and hovers so.

“Do you need to go lie down?” he suggests in the early afternoon. “You could take a rest, and I promise I’ll manage any questions that the staff has about the preparations.”

I smile at him, concern etched on his elegant features, expressed in his brown eyes. “I am quite fine, my darling,” I tell him. “I don’t need an afternoon rest today. I promise I will turn in early tonight if that will make you feel better.”

He nods, and says, “All right then. Um, I’ll tell Hester to bring you some refreshments.”

I only smile. I don’t need refreshments, but if it will make him happy to see me have some, I am perfectly willing. I look forward to seeing him coddle our baby in this way.

Soon. It will happen soon.

Natchez

Samuel Duncan

Yesterday was absolutely blissful, doing nothing but resting. I didn’t even leave our apartment. At one point Ben went out and brought some food back for us from Under-the-Hill, but otherwise we just stayed inside all day, lollygagging in luxurious languor.

Today, though, has been quite a busy day at the office. My old office, my usual office, open for the first time since the outbreak began. I haven’t even had the chance to arrange everything back where it belongs. Gregor’s crew delivered all of my textbooks and any unused medical supplies to me today. I know that they are cleaning out the boarding house, getting ready for it to shift back to its original purpose as an inn for travelers, not as a sick ward for the town.

I have had a steady flow of patients, from early morning until now, and I am starting to wonder if I actually will be able to take a break to go have dinner at the club with my uncles. It has been nice, though, that instead of treating yellow fever, I have been seeing the usual range of complaints - sprained ankles, rheumatism, cuts, a couple of cases that I suspect to be consumption which is always prevalent, some expectant women, a variety of other ailments that are simply a part of living.

It is already getting dark by the time I see Ben pass by the window of my office, on his way around the corner to climb the stairs to our apartment. This used to be his signal to me that he would be waiting, and he would be extremely careful to ensure that nobody watched him duck around the building and rush up the stairs. There is no longer any need to hide the fact that he is going up there - thanks to Gregor everyone in town knows that we share lodgings, as many single men do, and as far as I know nobody suspects the truth about our relationship. He glances in and meets my eyes on his way past. I’m in the lobby bringing the last patient of the day into the back, and after this examination I intend to go get dinner. I know Ben will already have eaten at Gregor’s house.

Finally, I make my way through the twilight to the club, and settle with relief at my uncles’ table. “A long day, my boy?” Uncle Samuel asks, while Henry smiles and hands me a drink. He must have ordered it for me already and was just waiting for me to arrive. I take a sip. Ah, brandy. Nice.

“Yes,” I answer, “but a good one. It’s nice to get back to regular business, now that the outbreak seems over.”

Henry shakes his head. “I hate to tell you, but I’m not sure it’s over. A couple of customers at the mercantile today were saying that some more people seem to be developing symptoms.”

I stare at him. Damn it. Well, I have known that it isn’t unlikely that the disease will linger throughout the summer. Sighing, I ask, “Did it sound like anyone was getting very sick? Should I go pay some house calls?”

“No,” he says, “from what I heard it was pretty minor.”

“So far,” I say. I know how quickly it can develop. “I was planning to go out to Stephen’s plantation for the wedding tomorrow, but maybe I shouldn’t be away from town.”

“Wedding?” Uncle Samuel asks.

“My goodness, Uncle,” I say, feeling slightly exasperated. “Between Gregor’s former houseman Moses, and Margaret’s maid Dalila. I know for a fact that I have told you about this several times.”

He shakes his head. “I remember. I just can’t believe what a fuss is being made over a slave wedding. I didn’t realize you planned to attend.” He doesn’t say it, but I can tell he believes the whole thing is a farce.

“Moses and Dalila deserve happiness too,” I tell him, seriously, wishing that he could see that all love is valid, and valuable, and wonderful, no matter how odd the pairing. I wish I could tell him of my love. I wish it could be known, and accepted. Failing that, I am delighted to support the celebration for Moses and Dalila, another couple who has had to struggle to find their way to each other.

He waves his hand. “Of course, of course.”

We eat our meals in silence for a couple of minutes, then Henry asks me, “Did you hear about Pastor Colbert’s sermon yesterday?”

I look over at him. “No, I was home resting all day, then today I have had one patient after another. I’ve had no time for gossip.”

Henry smirks, looking at Uncle Samuel, knowing that gossip is the fuel that keeps his brother going. My namesake is delighted to oblige. “Well,” he says enthusiastically, “it seems that Gregor is no longer on Pastor Colbert’s list of sinners.”

“Really?” I say. “That’s surprising, I thought he’d never run out of complaints.”

“Well, by helping you with the yellow fever outbreak, then by alerting the pastor that Patrolman Smith was dying of it, Gregor has apparently been forgiven and is now an example of how even a sinner can be redeemed.”

Ah. Well, it is true that when Smith died the pastor was with him, and I certainly hadn’t thought of summoning him. That was all Gregor’s doing.

I stare at my uncle, trying to decide if he is being completely serious, or joking. I see the side of his mouth twitch a little, so apparently he sees the humor in the pastor’s new position.

“Well, good,” I say, “I was getting awfully tired of hearing him complain about my friend. I’m sure Gregor was awfully tired of it too.”

“Tired of what?” I hear behind me, and turn to see Gregor himself walking towards us from the door. Oh! How embarrassing, to be caught in the act of gossiping about him!

“Uh…” I say, but Uncle Henry rescues me.

“Gregor,” he says, “how wonderful to see you! Please, sit down. Will you be dining with us?”

Gregor gives him a crooked smile, and looks over at me with a knowing glance of humor in his eyes. I have a feeling he is aware of exactly what we were talking about. But he only turns back to Henry, and says, “No, I just wanted to stop by on my way home to coordinate with Samuel for tomorrow.”

“Um,” I say, “I don’t think I should go. Henry says that there was talk in the mercantile today of new cases of yellow fever arising.”

He nods. “I was afraid that would happen. Well, the steamboat won’t be back for another few days, so there are still no guests at our new inn. It can be put back into service if necessary.”

“Hopefully it won’t be needed,” I say rather glumly. I suppose it probably will.

“Since as far as we know there aren’t any patients needing your services at the moment, why don’t you still plan to come to the wedding? Your brother is expecting you. And besides, you need to be there to laugh at my inept attempt to officiate a wedding, and be able to tell your uncles all the gossip about me.”

Ha! We all have to laugh. He does know us so well.

I shake my head though. “I don’t think I would feel right to leave the town when patients might be arriving.”

“I tell you what,” he says. “I’ll make sure to have a half dozen of my crew members waiting at the boarding house, in case anybody shows up looking to admit a patient to the infirmary. They have enough experience from this week to know what to do with the patients until you get back. One of them can be Ben, I know he wasn’t planning to attend.”

Sigh. I wanted him to come with me to the wedding, but he pointed out that it would feel so awkward. What would he be there as? My friend? My roommate? Gregor’s servant? Moses’ friend maybe? Would he stay with me and the rest of my family? Would he be with the servants? With the slaves? As much as he likes Moses and would like to share in his happy day, Ben has concluded that there is no way for it to be comfortable, and I have to agree with him.

So this will actually work out all right. If Gregor asks him to stay behind and wait at the boarding house for any new patients, it gives him something to do rather than moping around thinking about me. Everyone in Gregor’s family and staff will be at Homochitto, so there would be no point in Ben going to his empty house tomorrow. And Gregor’s crew has been incredibly helpful this week with the patients, learning a lot about how to treat yellow fever. There is very little that I would be needed for in order to admit the patients to the infirmary and tend to them.

I nod. “That sounds like a good plan,” I tell Gregor. “Thank you again. You cannot possibly know how incredibly helpful everything you have done has been this week.”

He smiles, and I glance over at Uncle Samuel. He is watching Gregor with an almost adoring expression. Oh my. He really does take the pastor’s sermons to heart.