Darkness

Gregor

It is an enormous relief to get that off my chest. At least I’ve told her my last, biggest secret. I don’t think she really understands, though. The number alone is too big for her to really process. And she hasn’t started considering the implications. I know she will realize, sooner or later, what it means. I won’t change, no matter how long we live together, how long we are married, how long we love each other. But she will. She is human. I am sure that eventually this will grow to bother her.

But not yet. She is a lovely young woman, twenty years old, looking perfectly appropriate by my side. I will enjoy this time in our lives, enjoy this day, follow my own rule of trying to live in each moment as it comes to me. Tomorrow’s problems can wait until tomorrow.

When we make our way downstairs, Nadine is sitting at the kitchen table, looking at some papers. Jake is feeding kindling into the stove, where water is already warming, porridge is already simmering, eggs are already boiling.

“Good morning,” I tell them, and they both look at us with a smile. Rosalind sits at the table next to Nadine and peers at the papers she is writing. I wonder what they are.

“Lists for the wedding supplies to be purchased today,” Wolk informs me. “Last night Rosalind asked Nadine if she would be willing to help make plans for the wedding feast.”

Ah! “I’m not sure I am appreciative enough of you, Wolk,” I tell him silently, “how no detail is too small for you to note for me. Sometimes I take you too much for granted. Thank you, my friend.” His wolf form grins up at me.

The back door opens, and Sarah comes in, Walter poking his head in to wave. I hand the baby to her, and before Walter can leave I ask him, “Things quiet Under-the-Hill so far this morning?”

“Yep. Most fellows on the crew are sleeping in, or have already left to go enjoy their day off. I’m on sick duty but I came up to escort Sarah. Ben’s working down there at the infirmary with us today, he seems much better and I guess he’s volunteering to help out. Doctor Duncan is getting ready to discharge most of the patients that are still there, it seems that they are all getting better.” He pauses. “Oh, except for one. That patrolman Smith died.” He shrugs, clearly trying to seem neutral about this news.

“He also thinks it’s a good riddance,” Wolk provides.

Nadine purses her lips and clearly stops herself from saying something.

“Smith was a friend to Nadine’s husband, an association which she never approved. She is also relieved that the man has died, thinking that he was a bad influence on her husband.” Nadine’s husband must have been one of Smith’s very few friends. It seems that everyone else is glad to see him go. Even me, in some ways. How sad.

I nod to Walter. “Yes, when I left there last night it was obvious that he would most likely not survive. It’s sad, but I’m hoping there aren’t any more deaths.”

“Not so far,” he replies, “everyone else seems pretty well. Fingers crossed.”

“Thanks Walt,” I say, and he tips his hat to Rosalind and heads back out the door.

“What do you think,” I silently ask Wolk, “are there more patients in town? Anybody else look like they are getting yellow fever?”

“Not right now. Perhaps the outbreak has been contained.”

“Let’s hope.”

Nadine gets up from the table to start serving breakfast, leaving Rosalind perusing the lists, squinting a little to make out the handwriting. Rosalind has gotten better at reading over the last few months, but it still isn’t terribly easy for her. It makes me sad to remember that we’ve had to stop holding our reading groups. Even without Smith, now that he is gone, there will always be others who would object to the teaching of anyone, black or white. I will never put my friends at risk in that way again.

I sit down at the table with Rosalind. “Can I see?” I ask, and she pushes the papers over to me. I scan the lists that Nadine has written. “My goodness, this is quite a lot. Should I go fetch a wagon?” I ask.

Nadine chuckles. “No, most of it is just going to be ordered, mostly from the mercantile, and they’ll deliver it to Homochitto on Monday.”

I continue perusing the lists. “Nadine, you’re coming shopping too, right? I don’t think you should trust me to make the proper selections.”

Rosalind smiles, “Yes, Nadine is coming. Are you kidding? I wouldn’t trust either one of us to do this right.”

Ha!

I look over at Jake. “Hey Jake, why don’t you come too. Even if most of it is getting delivered Monday, I’d be willing to bet that there will still be plenty to carry. I’m going to need the help of a strong young man.”

He grins, and Nadine starts carrying porridge and eggs and sliced fruit over to the kitchen table. We all gather around, our funny little family, and start to eat together. Sarah is holding Vernon, and lets him have just a little of her porridge, tipping tiny servings from her spoon into his mouth. It strikes me that he is growing up, old enough now to start branching out from breastmilk just a little.

My goodness, time always passes, doesn’t it? Things always change, even if I don’t. Wolk nods his wolf head at me.

Jake

We leave Sarah with the baby, and the rest of us walk into town together. I am so glad to be a part of this team, working together to get the things that are needed for Moses’ wedding.

I’m not really sure what to expect, but it seems that it is mostly standing in the stores waiting for Nadine and Rosy to make up their minds about things. Most of the time Gregor is standing here with me, and at one point he shrugs down at me and winks, which is hilarious. I end up carrying more and more parcels and bags and boxes, until I can scarcely see over the top of them. Gregor is carrying even more, so he can’t take any of mine. Are they buying everything in town?

“Woah woah woah, let me help you with that!” I hear Ben’s welcome voice say as we are walking away from the butcher’s shop and apparently heading to the baker. I feel him lift most of the things out of my arms.

“Ben!” Gregor says with a very pleased voice. “You look well!”

He really does. He looked terrible last time I saw him, a few days ago when I walked him down to his home over the medical office. I wasn’t sure he’d even manage to get up the stairs by himself. But he looks mostly normal today.

“Fit as a fiddle,” he says, smiling. “And we’ve taken almost all of the patients home. Samuel only wanted to keep a handful of them down there, and none of them are even very sick, I think he’s just being cautious. He said that he didn’t really need anything else from me at the infirmary, so I was heading up to your house anyway.”

Gregor nods in a satisfied way. “I told him I’d go down later today to see if he needs any help with anything. If no other patients arrive today, maybe he’ll discharge the rest of them in the morning and he can close up shop Under-the-Hill and get back to his regular office.”

“That’s what he said,” Ben tells him, holding a big stack of stuff and walking along with us, behind Nadine and Rosy who are clearly on a mission. “Um, where are we going?”

“The baker? I think?” Gregor says. “We’ve already been to the Postlethwaite mercantile, the butcher, the florist, and the stationer. I’m hoping the baker is the last one.”

“What on earth are you doing? Starting a new business?” Ben asks with a smirk.

“No, remember?” I tell him. “Moses is getting married. This is all for the wedding! And I’m helping!”

“Ahhhh! Of course!” he says. “It’s on Tuesday, right?”

“Yep,” Gregor says. “You’re invited, of course, everyone on the crew is. I believe Samuel will be attending, assuming that the outbreak is under control.”

“That sounds nice,” Ben says. “I’m sorry I didn’t end up helping out building the cabin for Moses. I haven’t even seen it.”

“I did!” I tell him, “I went out there yesterday with Gregor!” For the rest of our trip around town, running errands for the wedding, I describe the whole thing to him.

Rosy and Nadine finally seem to run out of things to buy, and we carry all of our parcels back home. “Here,” Gregor says, “let’s just set everything down on the dining room table for now, and Nadine can sort through it later to decide where it all goes.”

It’s a relief to put down this heavy stack of stuff, and that’s even after Ben took most of it from me. My arms feel very tired. It wasn’t much heavier than a load of firewood, but I guess I was carrying it for longer, that’s why I’m so tired. I’m really beat.

Gregor notices. He’s always so kind to me, pays so much attention to how I am feeling. “Thanks for your help, Jake, I couldn’t have done this without you. I don’t think we’ll really need anything else today. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off.”

“Thanks!” Suddenly I don’t feel quite so tired. Jack has half days at school on Saturday, I’ll bet he’s home by now. Maybe we can go spend some time in our fort down the hill. “Bye!” I say, heading out the door to go bang on Jack’s.