Darkness

Samuel Postlethwaite

My little darling is cross. She doesn’t like this bed, or this bland soup that has been brought to her, and she misses her mother, and her nursemaid. I had left her long enough this morning to go home quickly, tell Ann what is happening, and have a bag packed with some of Matilda’s clothing and toys to try to keep her comfortable, but otherwise I have been here trying to keep her happy and calm. I never want to experience the terror of watching my child have a seizure like that again, and I have to make sure that she is truly well before I can consider leaving her alone for a moment.

She stops scowling into her bowl of soup when the door opens. “Samuel!” she says. Her cousin is a great favorite.

Gregor trails in the door behind him. Strange, I realize that I feel perfectly calm to see him, unlike the way the last couple of months have been. I suppose that the fright with Matilda last night, and Gregor chancing across us at exactly the right moment on the street, has numbed me to whatever odd reaction I have been having to him. It actually feels nice to see the young man.

While Samuel is examining Matilda, I stand with Gregor near the door. I say quietly to him, “I don’t think I thanked you properly last night, for your help with Matilda. I was quite in a dither.”

He smiles at me, and clasps his hand to my shoulder. “My pleasure, Samuel. I’m glad to see her feeling so much better.”

I look back at my sweet little girl, giggling as Samuel tickles her a little during the examination. “She seems better, but last night was…” I can’t find the words to describe it.

“I know,” he nods. “It was really scary. But she seems fine now. Your nephew said that isn’t an uncommon reaction in young children to fever, and that she obviously wasn’t harmed by it. She seems well on the road to recovery.”

I nod, but I am still worried. “Samuel told me that he’s going to dinner at the club in a few minutes,” Gregor says. “Why don’t you go with him? I’m planning to stay here for a while, until Samuel gets back after he has eaten and had some rest. I’ll look after Matilda for you. I’m sure she’ll be asleep soon, she’ll scarcely notice you missing.”

No, that’s impossible. After what happened last night, I can’t abide the thought of having her out of my sight. She needs to be carefully monitored. I just shake my head.

“I’ll be right here,” he assures me. “I know she’ll be fine.”

“Even if you are staying here,” I tell him, “she’d be alone while you are off with other patients. She needs to be watched carefully to make sure she doesn’t have another episode while she’s alone.”

“Well,” he says in a reasonable tone, “her fever is down, right? She shouldn’t have another episode without a fever.”

I shrug. “I’m not sure that’s really what caused it. I just can’t leave her alone.”

Gregor says, “Hm,” and stands with his arms folded, one hand to his face tapping his chin. Then he seems to have some kind of idea. “I tell you what, Samuel. How about if I ask Sarah if she’d be willing to come here and spend the night in the room with Matilda?”

“Sarah?”

He looks at me with raised eyebrows, like he can’t believe I don’t know who this Sarah is.

“You know,” he says, “Vernon’s nursemaid.”

I’m still staring at him. Why should I be expected to keep track of people’s servant’s? That seems a lot to ask, when I have so many other things around town that I am keeping my eye on.

A little smile lifts the edge of his mouth. “You helped me get manumission documents put together for her, remember? After I met her at Forks of the Road?”

“Ahh,” I say. “Now I remember. She’s your nursemaid now?”

He doesn’t try to chide me for not being aware of this. “Yes,” he says, “and she is truly excellent with children. She helped to take care of the Roosevelts’ children while they were in town as well. If she is willing, perhaps she could just stay here in the room with Matilda, so that your daughter is tended all night. You could go have dinner with your nephew, then get some sleep at home.”

I’m wavering, but he goes on, “I’m sure everyone at the club will be very grateful to hear your report about what is happening with the outbreak, here in the infirmary. Your first-hand knowledge will no doubt be very valuable to them.” He waits for a moment, watching me, then adds, “And Ann and your son must be worried, and will need your reassurance that all is well with Matilda.” I’m starting to realize that he is right. Ann and the other gentlemen will benefit from my knowledge. Also I’m very hungry and that soup doesn’t look any more appetizing to me than it does to Matilda.

At that moment Matilda bursts out into a peal of laughter as Samuel pretends to pull a coin out from behind her ear. They both look over at us, and my nephew says, “Well, she is truly doing so much better. I’d like her to stay overnight again, but if she is still this well in the morning she can go home.”

I look back to Gregor, who says, “I’m going to go ask Sarah. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He glances down at Matilda and adds with a grin, “and if it is all right with Doctor Duncan, maybe I can bring along something sweet from the boarding house kitchen for Matilda.”

Sarah

By the time Gregor escorts me home from his house, the rest of his crew has already arrived from Homochitto and most of them are in the boarding house dining room, still eating their supper. The generous bowls of food are at the center of each table where everyone can serve themselves.

I quickly find my brother and sit at his table, where he is eating with two of the men he had worked with today. “Good evening, Charley,” I greet him, and he looks up at me with a happy smile. “How did it go with the cabin today?”

He swallows a big bite and replies, “So good! You wouldn’t believe that we just started building it three days ago. It’s almost done! I wish you could see it.”

I smile, and tell him my news. “I actually might get the chance to see it tomorrow,” I tell him, “Rosy is going to Homochitto to help plan the wedding, and she’s asked me to come along to help with Vernon. So I hope to see the cabin too.”

“That is so fine, Sarah!” he enthuses, and begins to tell me about how he helped set the windows in their frames today, while I am spooning food onto a plate for myself from the serving dishes on the table. The food at Gregor’s boarding house is always delicious and plentiful, one of the many ways that our fortunes have transformed since he chanced upon us at the slave market.

Charley is happy. When we were torn away from the rest of our family to be sold, I never could have imagined seeing my little brother actually happy. But here we are, free people, working for Gregor, and Charley is learning from the rest of the crew, who treat him so kindly. He loves his work.

And I love mine. I spend my days with Rosy, caring for their sweet baby, who reminds me of my own little sisters even though he doesn’t look a bit like them, with his creamy white skin. But his smile and giggle and scent are the same, the feeling of a baby clasped in my arms is the same, the love I feel is nearly the same. Gregor and Rosy are both very kind, as are their other servants. Sometimes it almost feels like we are home.

I am thinking of all of this, and listening to Charley enthusiastically describe what he has learned about construction since we arrived here, while the other crew members praise his quick mind and willing hands. As we are lingering over our empty plates, enjoying our conversation with the other fellows at our table, we hear a few people calling out “Gregor!”

He is coming in the door, a smile on his face. He glances around and sees that most of the crew is still here in the dining room. He waves his hands for silence, and says, “Great work again today, fellows. You might be the best construction crew in Mississippi!”

A mighty cheer arises. “So tomorrow we should be finished with the construction. It’ll be lighter work, painting, moving furniture, arranging things. Moses might have some planting ready for the garden, if we have time we might help him with that. But after that we will be done.”

More cheers, while Gregor grins around at everyone. “Since the cabin is ready, they have set the wedding date for next Tuesday. Thanks to you all, my friend Moses will soon be married and settled and happier than he could have ever dreamed!”

It makes me smile to myself. I think that many of us here could say the same, and it is really thanks to Gregor.

“I’ve just come from the infirmary,” he says, “and we’ll need some of the crew to stay behind tomorrow again. The good news is that it looks like most of the first group of patients are well enough that they might get to go home tomorrow.”

“How’s Ben?” somebody calls out.

Gregor chuckles. “Ben is doing so much better that he started trying to join the crew there working, and Doctor Duncan had to chase him back into bed!” Everyone laughs, of course. “He’ll be sent home tomorrow too, most likely.”

“So, get some rest tonight, one more day of Homochitto, then we’ll take a day or two off. Then we can get back to the steamboat business.”

“Oh yeah, that!” someone yells.

While everyone is laughing, Gregor unexpectedly approaches our table. “Hey Gregor,” Charley grins up at him.

“Very good work today, Charley,” our boss tells him, and my brother glows under the praise. Then Gregor looks at me. “Sarah, I have a really big favor to ask of you.”

“Oh?” I say with surprise.

“One of the patients is a five-year-old girl, and her father is too nervous to leave her side. He doesn’t want her to be alone, even though she is almost completely well already. She is one of the patients who is probably being sent home in the morning. I’m trying to get her father to go home to be with the rest of his family, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to come and spend the night in her room with her? I think that’s the only way he’d be willing to leave her. There’s an extra bed there, and she’ll probably just sleep all night. You wouldn’t need to do anything except be there in the room with her. I’ll be there, minding the other patients, just in case you need any help. Could you possibly help me out with this?”

I am not sure I will ever get used to this white man, my employer, asking me for “favors” rather than just commanding me to perform tasks. Of course I will agree, but not simply because I am in the lifelong habit of doing what I am told. It is because I want to. He has helped me, more than I could ever repay. I want to help him.

“Of course, I would be happy to,” I tell him. I stand, smile a goodbye at Charley, and follow Gregor back over to the infirmary.