Darkness

Lydia

All through the afternoon and evening, I note then set aside the facts that I am filing away for later perusal. Nicholas and I listen with alarm to all of the news that the Bakers have to share about everything that has happened in Natchez since we left. But I am not going to draw any conclusions yet. I have to wait until I have solitude, so that I can analyze the situation at my leisure.

They stay for dinner, and then drinks, and finally they have to go. I hate for them to leave, but Henry’s house is already full up with us, our children, and our nursemaid Betsy. So Baker and Abigail go back to the steamboat to sleep in their cabin. At least it is the roomiest cabin on the boat, the captain’s, so the bed is big enough to fit them. More or less. Baker is a gigantic man. As we bid them farewell and watch them walk down the street together, Abigail dwarfed by his mass, I can’t help but chuckle.

“What is funny?” Nick asks.

I look up at him. “I was just remembering back before the earthquakes, when Baker was so nervous about how much bigger he is than her.”

He snickers. “I will never forget the conversation I had with him about it in Cincinnati. He could not fathom how they could possibly ever be together.” He looks again down the street, just as they are disappearing around the corner. “I told him it was just an engineering problem. I’m glad they sorted it out.”

I draw him back inside the house, and enfold him in my arms. He embraces me fervently, and lowers his face to mine for a kiss. His hand winds in my hair.

After a time, he says, “Well, darling, bedtime for old folks like me. Are you coming upstairs?”

“Not yet,” I tell him, “I want to think about everything they told us.”

He says, with a glint in his eye, “I was hoping you would. Let me know what you conclude.” He knows how I like to analyze things.

He bids me good night, and I go to sit in the parlor, gazing into the dying embers in the fireplace. The house is silent, my brother and husband and children all abed, along with the servants. I have the peace that I need to contemplate all of the data. I pull out my mental pile of notes, and begin comparing them.

Fact: Gregor’s charming reading groups, which I enjoyed so much when we had the chance to attend one, have led to more trouble than anybody expected. He knew, I’m sure, that the teaching of reading to black people, whether slave or free, was prohibited. I just don’t think that he believed that such a rule could ever be enforced. However, I have heard that more states are enacting specific laws against it, with increasingly stiff penalties.

Fact: The slave patrols have become more active not just in the Mississippi Territory, but in other locations in the area. The rumors of war with Britain, and the reports of Indian violence, have combined with stories of slave revolts to create a great deal of apprehension on the part of the public. This is especially true in the southern regions where slavery is increasingly prevalent. It cannot have escaped the notice of most owners that their slaves have begun to outnumber them.

Fact: Fear is a powerful motivator. The slave owners watch the growing problems with the British, the Indians, the slave revolts, and they are afraid. They are afraid of losing their power over the slaves, which means they would lose their whole economic system. Society is entirely structured upon slavery. The plantations are like the steam that drives the economic engine of this region, and the slaves are like the fuel that creates the steam as it burns. The plantations could not function without them.

In order to cling to their control over the slaves, and thereby maintain their riches and their power, the slave patrols have been granted increasing authority. The slaves must be utterly subjugated in order to prevent them from rising against their owners. The slave patrol’s job is to keep the slaves constantly in a state of fear, so that they dare not take any risk, dare not draw attention to themselves by talking or organizing in any way.

Fact: One of the best ways to control a people is to keep them in ignorance. A literate population of slaves would be unthinkably dangerous to the system of slavery. If they could read, they could pass notes, make plans, form alliances, strategize, devise schemes. The owners believe that this sort of thing must be crushed before it can start, hence the increasingly strict laws against the teaching of reading to slaves, or to free black people who would be even more capable of fomenting rebellion.

Conclusion: In retrospect it is almost obvious that Gregor’s efforts in teaching reading to his free black friends would lead to punishment of some kind. He just did not dream that it could actually happen.

Fact: Gregor intervened in the punishment of his friend Moses. He insisted that only he should be blamed for the teaching of reading, and therefore the whipping that would have been administered to Moses, instead fell on Gregor.

Abigail and Baker both said that they talked to many people in Natchez about this, including both Gregor and Rosy. I believe that they learned everything possible about the incident. There is no question but that Gregor demanded that only he should be whipped, and that he showed absolutely no fear at the prospect, only fury at the situation. It was only when Rosy arrived that he became upset, and insisted that she leave so that she would not witness him being hurt.

Fact: I know that Gregor is physically unusual. He is far older than his youthful appearance. He admitted as much to me the last time that I was in Natchez. He did not tell me his exact age, but I have my suspicions. He had told Rosy that he is older than his friend Zadoc, who I believe to be about forty years old. Then he told me that Rosy does not yet know the true extent of it. Would he say something like this if he was just a decade or two older? I don’t think so. I believe that Gregor is excessively, unnaturally old. Far older than any normal humans.

Fact: If he has managed to outlive a normal human lifespan, there must be a mechanism by which this has occurred. He probably has at least some immunity from serious disease. There is too much yellow fever, consumption, cholera, typhus, and many more, prevalent in towns for anyone to escape for long. Furthermore, I have to assume that in what has been a very long lifetime, he has suffered injuries, and I suspect that he heals quickly enough that even serious injuries would not cause his death. By overcoming illness and injury, he has been able to live for this long.

Conclusion: When Gregor volunteered to be whipped in place of Moses, with apparently no fear or concern for his own well-being, he must have known that he would recover more quickly than a normal human.

Fact: Gregor received thirty-nine lashes, the maximum punishment the slave patrol is allowed to administer. This is sufficient to kill some people, especially women, or men who are small and thin. Gregor is muscular and strong, but he is not terribly tall, and he is quite slender. When the beating had ended, he was unconscious, and had to be dragged by two men to the office of Doctor Duncan.

Fact: Rosy sent Moses to Homochitto to fetch Ayola to the doctor’s office. The gossip about town is apparently that Rosy and Gregor had this done on a whim, simply because Gregor is fond of the child and Rosy thought that having her near might bring him some comfort after his injury.

Fact: When I was last in Natchez, Gregor told me that he is able to speak to his guardian angel, which explains how he sometimes knows what I or other people are thinking. And he admitted that Ayola and he are similar. They both have the ability to speak to their guardian angels. I have already concluded that this is somehow linked to Gregor’s lifespan, and presumably his healing abilities.

Fact: After Ayola was brought in to Gregor, he was very shortly able to walk out of the doctor’s office, albeit with assistance, and return home. He went from unconscious and severely bleeding, to walking and going home, as soon as she arrived.

Fact: Within four days, Gregor was back at work Under-the-Hill and showing no further visible signs of injury, although he refrained from physical labor with the explanation that the doctor had instructed him to do so for another week.

Conclusion: Ayola helped him heal. Somehow, something she did assisted his healing abilities, and he was able to recover with unnatural speed from his injuries.

I try to consider the next fact as dispassionately as any other, because if I allow my love for my former pet to influence my analysis, I might not draw the proper conclusions. So I set aside my feelings, and consider these facts.

Fact: Tiger was shot when he tried to attack the patrolman wielding the whip. Baker said that it was this point, more than anything else, which seemed to grieve Gregor the most when they spoke about the incident. Gossip from townsfolk indicated that when the patrol tried to move the dog away so that the whipping could proceed, Gregor yelled at them to leave the dog there. Then Rosy rushed forward to push the unconscious dog a little bit closer to Gregor.

Fact: Although Tiger was unconscious at Gregor’s feet during the remainder of the whipping, the dog was perfectly fine within a few hours. Abigail’s understanding, and apparently that of most of the townsfolk, was that the bullet only grazed Tiger, that he suffered only a minor injury. But if so, he would not have been unconscious as reported for at least as long as the whipping was taking place, then long enough to have to be carried to the doctor’s office. I believe that his injury was more serious than most people believe.

Conclusion: Just as I have concluded that Ayola did something to help Gregor heal, I believe that Gregor did something to help Tiger heal. And I believe that Rosy knew about it, and she had to move Tiger to be close enough for Gregor to touch him, if only through his feet. I have to conclude that Gregor has the ability to heal with his touch. And so does Ayola.

Furthermore in regards to Tiger, I am sure that Gregor is worried that hearing this story will make me regret leaving my dog with him, but I do not. I miss him, but it was the right choice. I’m sorry that Tiger was hurt, but it wasn’t Gregor’s fault. I believe more strongly than ever that Tiger belongs with him.

Fact: Something mysterious occurred during the incident, which neither Baker nor Abigail could truly understand. They heard numerous descriptions of the crowd being filled with a despair which caused them to weep or panic or pray. They also heard that people felt that the holy spirit had come to justify the whipping, or an angel had come to protect Gregor, or the angel of death had come to get him. Clearly there was some supernatural manifestation, something that could not be explained by the normal emotional reaction of a crowd witnessing a person being whipped. I would not normally concede that something supernatural could actually occur, but all of the evidence I am considering points to that, and I can never ignore evidence, regardless of how preposterous the resulting conclusion might be.

Fact: Gregor told me that every human has a guardian angel, but that only he and Ayola can communicate with theirs. A guardian angel is a supernatural entity, unknown to human science, but I believe what he told me.

Conclusion: Whatever was going on, with the crowd’s overwhelming sense of despair, and the awareness that something supernatural was present, had to do with the guardian angels. Either Gregor’s, or those of others in the crowd. I will never be able to understand this, though, unless I have the opportunity someday to speak to Gregor about it. Maybe in the future I will be able to hear his explanation.

Fact: Baker said that Gregor was depressed because most people in town were still reacting to him with fear or awe because of this incident. So whatever it was that happened, it had affected people so strongly that they have lingering qualms about Gregor.

Fact: When I was with Gregor last time, I observed him carefully, and concluded that he is an incredibly loving person, full of so much care and concern for other people that being around him is a joy. He exudes happiness and love, and he has a large and caring circle of devoted friends, employees, and companions. According to the reports of the Bakers, this has been seriously impaired. Gregor has become increasingly isolated since the incident. He is apparently trying to avoid the many people who are nervous or unsettled, or conversely almost worshipful of him. I’d be willing to bet that the latter reaction is the more troublesome to him.

Conclusion: This must be killing him. Figuratively, of course. I am not sure what it would take to actually kill him. But he must be so, so, terribly sad. His delight in his life in Natchez is completely evident, and I grieve for him that it has been tainted in this way. All I can hope for is that it will somehow return to the way it was, and that his friendships can be restored. I hate to think of Gregor being sad and lonely.

At least he has Rosy, though. Thank God for that. I believe from everything I know of them, and from everything Abigail and Baker told me, that she still is utterly supportive and loving, and that their relationship is stronger than ever.

I hope that their love will see him through this. I know that the love that Nick and I have has gotten us through many hardships, and I believe that what Rosy and Gregor share is just as strong. I wish them the best.

I know in the morning Nick will ask to hear my conclusions, and I will offer him an edited version. I had told Gregor that unless Nick really needs to know his secrets, I will keep them to myself. Knowing these things won’t help my husband in any tangible way, so I will be vague when we speak tomorrow.

In the meantime, apparently Abigail and I have an assignment. We have to go fabric shopping of all things, to find cloth in a shade of blue to match the steamboat, in order to make uniform vests for the crew to wear. It is Gregor’s belief that this will protect the free black people from the slave patrol better than simply having free papers tucked away in their pockets could do.

We discussed this tonight with the Bakers, and we have decided to extend the blue vest uniform to all members of the steamboat crew, both in Natchez and in New Orleans, and on the steamboat itself. Nick will talk to David and George about implementing this among their employees at least while they are working for the steamboat. The entire group will be outfitted in such a way as to be readily identifiable, protected from the slave patrol, and to feel the bond of being part of one common enterprise.

So, it looks like tomorrow Abigail and I will be going fabric shopping. I look forward to inviting the Florian sisters to come along. I know at least Elizabeth will no doubt be delighted to have a new reason to visit the shops, and that Laura will approach it with the wry good humor that I have come to love so much.

And this will be the last task that I perform on behalf of the steamboat and its crew. Nick and I will be taking the children north in a few days, boarding an Atlantic sailing vessel to take the journey along the coast to New York. I don’t know what will await us there, or what Nick’s next project will be, or even where we will live.

All I know is that this period of our life is almost over. All of the plans we made, and adventures we had, and people we met, as part of the steamboat enterprise, will be fading into the memories of our past. I will remain in contact with my friends, corresponding by letter whenever possible, but there is no way to know if I will ever speak to any of them again. Gregor, Rosy, Abigail, Baker, Laura, all the rest, will have to be tucked away on the shelf in my remembrances, where I keep all the people that I have loved in the past.

And there they will stay, as I face my future, together with Nick.