Dark Tales From Dandelion

1

Vance walked through the first Veil of the Endynas Valley and was immediately filled with the peace and wonder that it brought. He walked a little way down the road looking for the Fisher King. There were beggars begging, peddlers peddling, and people with their faces painted, juggling while standing on stilts. He realized that his Boost had worn off. That’s Strange, he thought. He didn’t remember the first Veil doing that his first time through, but he also hadn’t been Boosting on a daily basis at that point in his life; he hadn’t been Boosting at all. He pulled his sleeve up and—covering it with his cape—rammed a Boost into his bicep. He felt instant pain. Shit, must’ve hit a Voiddamn hot spot. He hadn’t been able to look at where he stuck the needle, so he assumed—judging by the pain—that he had hit a scab from one of his previous administrations.

The Boost took hold, and he was rejuvenated, or so he thought. The truth is, he had actually been purified by walking through the Veil, so his body was no longer physically dependent on the drug, but body and mind don’t always agree on points such as these; he thought he needed a Boost to function, so he believed it to be true.

Everything he saw was vibrantly alive. He could almost taste the energy of the valley. He smiled and waved at those who waved, feeling as though he should be this way all the time, regardless of the Boost, but really, he didn’t even fully acknowledge the fact that the Boost was in effect. If that thought came, he chased it away with the robust energy the Boost was giving him. He only enjoyed Boosting, and it helped him stay awake for the long hours he had to pull in his line of work. If he wanted … he could be this way all the time. He would be, he’d decided. From this moment forward, I will be kind and loving toward my fellow man. I swear it, he thought.

Vance walked past a beggar who was missing the little finger on one hand. The man’s beard had the telltale blue residue of a Roxy Milk drinker surrounding his mouth. Vance was being kind to his fellow man from now on; He handed the beggar twenty Endynas dandys. It wasn’t too much Worth out of his pocket anyways, he’d be very wealthy soon enough.

After you sell your friends out to Emptiness knows who? Vince said.

Shut up. I thought you was gone fa now, Vance replied.

Been here, Vance. You just not always interesting, man.

Vance looked up and realized he was standing beneath a giant Fisher King. As he looked at the sign, he wondered how a ginger fuck like that could ever have managed to get a wife, let alone three.

He walked in the arch-shaped front door of the brothel. These places needed no other sign than the Fisher King to tell you what they were: multiple partners at the same time, male or female.

Inside, the walls were a mustard yellow and there were red translucent curtains drawn in front of the windows. It was a circular common room, dimly lit by red trancing lamps; there were couches and chairs, all looking to be made of silk or velvet, materials that begged to be touched. Vance noticed with a bit of electricity in his loins that there were a few men and women doing just that right here in the common room. Good for business, I’m sure. Get someone to take a look at this and they won’t have a chance to think twice about it, he thought.

The staff here were not an unattractive lot. Vance had been to his fair share of brothels, for work—or other reasons—and it was rare to find a prostitute that didn’t have some sort of distracting blemish or hanging belly-skin. Missing teeth were a common occurrence in a whore house, but this never bothered Vance; sometimes gums were preferable to someone who applied too many teeth to their … methods. A brunette lay on a day bed completely naked, her brown nipples pointing straight up at the ceiling; her red lips curved into an inviting smile as Vance looked. That smile looked like it could say ‘I love you,’ very well for an evening.

There were naked men walking around as well, with perfect bodies and big cocks. Vance didn’t worry about naked men like some men he knew—there were worse things. And there was something nice about a man with a big cock … not that Vance liked them necessarily, it was just … would he prefer to watch someone with a weird tiny penis having sex? Or someone with a good amount of length to work with? It was a matter of watching people and knowing they were enjoying something, and sex was no exception; people enjoy watching other people enjoy themselves.

I’m not saying a little dick can’t please a woman, Vance thought as he looked at a naked man leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette, having a conversation with another naked man. Or a man. All I’m saying is … that’s the way it seems, if you watchin’ them. But this prolly jus’ my social conditioning at work, eh Vince? Vince had nothing to say about any of this because Vince was a sheath and had no cock, at least in the human sense of the word. Vance walked to the little desk that was built into the wall on the far side of the room, past all the naked advertisements. A fully clothed woman sat behind the desk. She was a beautiful red-headed woman with big blue eyes and a light blue blouse. She wore a blue neck scarf around her neck and her blouse was opened to show her cleavage.

“With you! Can I help you sir?” she said to Vance. As she said this, she raised her hand up beside her head, palm facing away from Vance. She pointed her pointer finger towards herself, while her other three fingers touched each other.

“With you,” he smiled at her and returned the gesture. He was feeling a little nervous for some reason. “I’m looking for a woman who works here named … ” he looked down at a piece of paper he pulled from his cape, “Genna. Red hair, blue eyes.”

“I’m sorry but I can neither confirm or deny whether anyone with that name works here. And who might you be?” She seemed to be becoming a bit impatient, a furrowed brow and a dimple on her right cheek making their appearances on her face. His nerves began dancing the shanti in his bowels, and his hands became very damp. He looked down directly into her eyes and thought he’d never make it back out of them. She moved her head to the side to glare at him from a different viewpoint. “Hello?” she said.

“Yes, hello. My name is V-Vance Raffery,” he cleared his throat, “I was sent by Roger Blithely of Jubilee Street. He told me to come here and ask for Genna,” Vance said, and he was pretty sure he would never even dream of cutting off the Cri fellow’s cock and balls, not in the presence of this woman, not even if he’d come here for no other reason than to meet the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen with no advance given. She laughed.

“I love Roger! Why didn’t you say so?” She jumped over the counter and pushed her hand out to grab Vance’s in a firm shake. “Pleased to meet you, Vance, now if you would follow me, we have some business to discuss.” She turned around and walked through a door to the left of the desk. Vance hesitated, unsure of what to make of the exchange. He looked around at all of the naked people in the common room who seemed to slide against the air surrounding their bodies in a sensual way.

He followed through the door that the woman had walked through and suddenly, a hallway stretched out into infinity in front of him. Ah, a Clever. Wouldn’t want to get lost in one of these, he thought as he looked at the glossy wooden floor, and the many golden doors that decorated the hallway’s walls, a trancing lamp in-between each one, a golden chandelier hanging from the ceiling every six doors or so.

“You look like you’ve never been inside of a Clever before, friend,” the woman said.

“Nah, its not that, I just neva been inside a Clever inside a whore house,” he replied. She rolled her eyes.

“We prefer to call it a pleasure house. Whore house makes everyone think of some sort of sexually transmitted thrumming sickness. I’m sure you wouldn’t believe it, but most people think the term ‘whore’ only applies to women! The nerve,” she said, and the dimple appeared on her face again. Vance wanted to curl up in a ball and fall asleep in that dimple. He smiled.

“You’re right, Genna. I shouldn’ be so crass, especially in front of a lady so fine as yourself.” The woman blushed, which really went well with her red hair, but then she furrowed her brow and looked at him suspiciously.

“How did you know I was Genna?”

“Context clues, darlin’.”

She scowled at him. He laughed.

“Roger described you to me. But I was not expectin’ someone so beautiful. And I wasn’t expecting you to be runnin’ the place.”

“While what you say is all very flattering, Vance Raffery, I have a woman—her name is Paul—who I am quite fond of and who is quite fond of me; I’d like to keep it that way between me and Paul, so I’d ask that the ‘fines’ and ‘beautifuls’ please be kept to a minimum of two … and OOP! Looks like you’ve expended you’re minimum of two and—I’m sorry to say, but—this is a business, so we really can’t afford any fronts. Now, if you’ll follow me, we can have a chat in my office,” She gave him a frank look that could’ve passed for a smile if Vance wasn’t so good at reading context clues. He mentally backpedaled. Yes, he felt like he had fallen in love with this woman the first moment he had seen her; he had already fucked, married, and had children with her, then had been divorced by her and had begged for her to take him back. But … he had a hard enough life decision eating away at his energy and time without trying to make someone want him. No ma’am, not now.

“Yes, ma’am, I’m very sorry. I meant no offense. I only wanted to let you know what I thought. I didn’t expect nothin’ from ya,” Vance said in low, polite tones. This seemed to ease the tension in Genna somewhat and she continued down the Clever, Vance following behind.

That was fucking embarrassing, man, Vince said.

Man, shut up. Why you always poppin’ in just to talk shit? Said Vance.

I get bored back here, so I have to watch the story of your life unfold for entertainment. This was good, but I don’t understand where it’s going. I’m still bored, but I did enjoy watching you feel something close to a human emotion—infatuation, maybe?—and the woman you want doesn’t want your average sized cock.

Vance rolled his eyes. If you weren’t the only way I could conveniently carry this sword on my back …

Yeah, let’s talk about that too, Vince said. A sheath … that reaches up and grabs the sword. I mean we are really making shit up at this point. Way to solve the sword-on-the-back problem with—drum roll please—MAGIC!

You were made in a laboratory by the Hate, whose leaders had technology that these planets didn’t have before they came here. That’s not magic, that’s science! Vance argued.

A moment of silence.

It’s magic.

Science! Said the Drifter.

It’s magic, because you haven’t explained how it works in science.

Vance said, You mean … inside the magic system of science.

The sword sheath laughed. OO-HOO-HOO. I think you’ve got it. You explained it through invalidating science by saying that science itself is magic. Clever. But answer me this: how will you explain this to someone who is unwilling to agree with that statement; someone who will not sink to the level of ‘It’s all made up.’ What is the cost of the magic for example?

Vance paused for a heartbeat to think. The cost is—in order to use the magic-science-sword-sheath, I have to deal with having conversations with it, but only when I’m dealing with some sort of fuckin’ psychological crisis.

Ok, fair enough, said the magic-science-sword-sheath. All I’m saying is some may not want to play your game because it has no clear defining lines.

You know what I say about people who need clear, defining lines, Vince?

………

Are you going to say something, or …

I say they some small dick mo’ fuckas who paid a whole buncha money to go to some fuckin’ big ass school to try and get the people there to grow them an imagination inside o’ some clear dividing lines. Spoiler alert mothafuckas! Aint nothin’ that grows inside of ‘clear, dividing lines!’ Caint nobody show you how to fuckin’ make shit up, and thass somethin’ I know is true. And that Vince, is why I say it’s science and it’s magic, because we make the shit up in our minds, which is a kind of magic—something comes from nothing, which is creation, which is magical shit, man. Then we take that magic and we try and apply it to life by manipulatin’ our surroundings—here’s the science—through the systematic study of the structure of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment. No matter what you do, you’re doing both at all times. I am science, but I am also magic. What came first? I have no fuckin’ idea, but from experience I can say that they both probably happened at the same fuckin’ time. It’s a mystery—unexplainable. And you can’t bottle that shit up and sell it.

The sword sheath was silent.

You there, mothafucka?

It seemed that Vince had grown bored of the conversation. Or Vance had grown bored with himself … Vance had never really been too sure of which was happening, but it did feel nice to have someone to talk to even if that person was a sword sheath, and even if it may not actually be talking to him.

Genna stopped at a door just before the hallway curved upward. Vance knew that if he were to keep walking down the hallway toward the curved part, that it wouldn’t actually go up, but that gravity would just seem to change to fit the rule of: floor down, ceiling up, doors on the sides.

Genna fitted a key into the golden door she’d stopped at; there was a little stargazer lily engraved into a small golden plaque in the middle of the door. Vance loved stargazers. He made no comment. He did not have time to try and make this woman want him. He stopped caring about it actually, which was something Vance had become very good at over the years.

Genna opened the door into a forensically clean office space that had no windows. He stepped onto the thin white carpet that might as well have been hard-wood, following Genna over to a long white desk. She flicked the trancing lamp to the right of the desk on and sat down on the other side. She pushed a button under the desk, which made Vance mentally prepare for violence, but all that happened was a chair rose from a hole in the floor across from where Genna sat. Vance sat down; It was the type of chair that said ‘you won’t be relaxing here motherfucker, I’m uncomfortable for a reason.’

“I am Genna, as you guessed, Mr. Raffery, and I have your advance here. You understand the terms of the bounty and this advance I assume?”

“If I don’t bring the bounties to the place designated in the paperwork, I refund the advance. Do I bring that back here to you?”

“Yes, I will handle that part of the agreement. If you fulfill your end and deliver the bounties to the drop point, you will collect the rest of your payment there.”

“Well, I’ll be happy to see you again if it don’t work out.” He gave her a sly smile that only raised one side of his mouth.

“It would be well if you didn’t have to see me again, Mr. Raffery.” Her blue eyes were ice as she glared at him.

“Are you … the boss?” Vance asked.

“I am nothing more than a businesswoman who takes her job very seriously, though there are some more … interesting things at play with this particular venture,” she replied. She stood up and walked over to a small bar in the corner of the room. “Do you want a drink?”

“Nah, shit fucks up my Boost,” He said absently.

“Oh neat. An addict.”

“Listen, did they tell you about me? Why they hired me specifically?”

“Yes, of course.” She poured her drink and walked back to her seat. Vance leaned forward, putting his elbows on the desk.

“Then you know that my Boosting has nothin’ to do with my competence. I’ll get the fuckin’ job done and that should be all that matters to you. So you can keep your fuckin’ ‘neats’ to your drinks and I’d appreciate it. I’m not the one drinkin’ in the middle of the fuckin’ aftanoon,” He said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it as he sat back. She got an ashtray out and pushed it toward him.

“As long as you either get the job done, or bring back that advance if you don’t, I don’t give a flying fuck what you do in your spare time. I’m sure you understand it is a bit disconcerting to hear that the person you’re handing money to is someone who most likely will put all of it into their arm before getting the job done.”

Vance laughed and opened his cape as he began pulling out all of the Boosts he had in the pockets. Ten, twenty, thirty-five … he ended up putting fifty of the the cartridges on the desk, more than he even knew he’d bought, and he could feel there were more of the little things inside the cape. Genna’s eyes widened as she watched and her mouth worked as she counted how many he’d pulled out. He then pulled out a wad of at least twenty one-hundred dandy bills.

“Fifty … ” She said, bewildered. “That’s seven-hundred dandys-worth in the mouth of the Endynas, Vance. And when you get to Endynas City, the price doubles.”

“And there’s more. And there’s more money in these pockets too. A whole lot more. I’m good at my job. I’m good with my drugs. I’m good in bed, not that you’ll eva find out ‘bout that,” He said, then set about packing the Boosts back into his cape pockets. Genna’s face turned red and she looked like she was about to protest his latest offense, but Vance raised his gloved hand up to stop her. “Peace, Genna. I don’t mean no harm. I’m sorry, alright? Just fuckin’ wit ya.” He smiled at her pleasantly. She stayed a little tense for a moment, then smoothed her skirt down and regained her composure. Vance felt a little guilty. I’ll stop now. Shit, but sometimes I got no Voidamn control over my tongue. Or other parts of my body, for that matter, he thought. Remember, you tryin’ to change things about yo crusty ass self.

Genna looked down at her lap. She shook her head. “Well, I think you’ve shown that you are at least a very high functioning addict, Vance.” She pulled something from underneath the desk and handed it to him—a big yellow envelope. Vance opened it and pulled out the Worth that was inside. He started counting.

“This gon’ take me a minute, Genna. You mind?”

“Not at all,” She replied.

He counted it all twice. Fifty-thousand dandys.

“Alright, I can work with this,” he said, putting the Worth back into the folder and tucking it into one of his cape pockets.

“How do you keep all of that shit safe in there? I mean in your line of work …”

“Less jus’ say there was this Ol’ Fuck an’ he had a way with makin’ things … special,” Vance said as he pulled his cape back around his shoulder.

She gave him a knowing look. “You mean like a wizard?” She smiled at him.

“You could say that,” he said, smiling back. Wizard was a good name for the scientist, but Vance was a bit too accustomed to calling him ‘Ol’ Fuck’ for him to change that now. He reached over the desktop to shake hands with Genna. She looked at his hand hesitantly, then leaned forward and shook.

He raised up his right hand and, palm facing Genna, bent his pointer finger towards her slightly, while his other three fingers touched each other and pointed straight up at the ceiling.

“To you,” he said, nodding toward her.

“To you,” she finished, and returned the hand gesture followed by the nod.

Vance stood up and left the room. He was aware of the threats, and the general standoffishness that Genna had showed him, but as he walked down the curve of the Clever to where it flattened out again, he smiled and his belly felt that magic electricity again. He’d be back someday, if not to give this advance back, he’d be back to at least talk to that woman again. He wasn’t sure what it was about her that made him feel this way, but he didn’t feel the need to explain. Maybe there would be more than the Boost realization he’d had today that would help him make a change; he’d had this Boost realization almost every time he jammed the shit into his arm, and it never lasted. This time, though … maybe. Maybe this sweet feeling—something he hadn’t felt since he was in the presence of the Mother—maybe this little taste of that could actually help him to change. Please, a faraway piece of him begged, please help me to change. He walked down the hall and into the silky pornography of the common room, out onto the grass pathway of the Enynas Valley. He started whistling, something he hadn’t done in years.